subway flashers

So a Brony tried hitting on me in a coffeeshop today

I am literally parked in the furthest corner of this Starbucks, with my tablet out, my computer on the little table and my backpack on the other stool at the table. The coffee shop is slow and there is lots of space.

I am /conspicuously/ busy, am trying to do homework, look up apartment rates and talk to my friends.

And then the fedora walks in. 

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Why Good Men Flash Teenage Girls on the Subway

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Has any breed of nice guys been more maligned by bitter, man-hating feminists than the subway flasher? You’d think flashers are criminals prowling around the city, trying to get cheap thrills by scaring teenage girls, the way cyber feminists and these uptight bitches who take pictures with their cell phone carry on.

The reality is that subway flashers are good men, often family men, who have nothing but good intentions. They just worry that you haven’t seen a penis today, and they just want to rectify that. A day without seeing a penis isn’t good for females. In fact, according to evolutionary psychologists, if a woman goes too many hours without seeing a penis, she can suffer hormonal shifts that induce depression. After all, our primitive ancestors walked around without clothes on, so it was dong left and right in women’s eyeline. Now our clothes cover penises up and deprive women of this necessary visual stimulation.

Some of the recipients of a flasher’s generosity, such as teenage girls, probably have never seen a grown man’s penis! Imagine the serious mental health effects that must accrue by going your entire childhood and adolescence. Why doesn’t anyone think of the children?

So, next time you’re thinking of snapping a picture with your phone of a man and sharing it with the police simply because he’s jerking off and leering at you on the subway, consider what you’re doing. You’re attacking someone who is probably nice to his wife and respectful of all young women, simply because he’s trying to brighten your day. Don’t fall for radical feminist propaganda, like the police have done. Subway flashers are your friend! Next time you see one, instead of shrieking at him like a harpy, try thanking him instead. You might learn he wasn’t as bad as those feminists led you to believe.