subway abuse problem

workaholics inspired sentence meme
  • “And in conclusion, as the Silver Rights activist, Doc Martens Luther King once said, ‘Take ye sleazy… and I’m out…’”
  • “Just throw it away man, pretend you never got it. That’s what I did with my STD test.”
  • “Oh, I’ll be a pacifist. I’ll pass my fist through your face!”
  • “What the f word is happening right now?”
  • “Help us help you help yourself while also helping us.”
  • “Much like butt holes, families are meant to be tight.”
  • “We’ve all seen penises we weren’t supposed to see.”
  • “You guys deserve some of the credit. I deserve a little bit more, but thank you very much.”
  • “This is not the kind of weird I’m talking about, okay? I’m going for a very, very specific type of weird here. Niche weird.”
  • “OJ Simpson is here? He’s my favorite killer!”
  • “I haven’t really been the same since Michael Jackson died in that knife fight.”
  • "If you don’t want to date me, that’s fine, I get that, but you’re wrong and I hate you.”
  • “Speaking of garages, did you know that the word actually comes from the Latin meaning ‘go rage’?”
  • “We don’t have a substance abuse problem. If anything we have a Subway abuse problem. We destroy $5 footlongs!" 
  • "Jesus…..You saw a dick didn’t you?”
  • “Give parking spot to idiots… Change tampon…. Kill self”
  • “All I’m saying is we are suppose to be living that crazy Costco life.”
  • “Please get dressed, we’re verging on fashionably late.” 
  • “Hitch a riiiide on the sex bus. Just kiddin, we can’t have sex here there are kids everywhere.”
  • “Revenge is a dish best served cold… So enjoy your cold revenge dish.”
  • “If the History Channel taught us anything besides the culture of Ice Road Trucking, it’s that history defines men by moments..and shit.”
  • “You need to see a shrink, because you suck dick at life.”
  • “I have post dramatic prenatal stress disease, it’s like a real thing in my life.”
  • “I’m not afraid of anything. Except maybe carbs, cause I’m in a cutting phase right now.”
  • “I’m looking for a true love companion who I can spend everyday of my life with until we die on the exact same day. Same breath.”
  • “God has a picture of me.”
  • “It’s like Picasso quit making music and just started fucking little dudes all day.”
  • “I’m sorry lady I don’t want to go out with you unless you want to have sex with me in that case I’ll go out with you.”
  • “You only YOLO once.”
  • “Feel better and take it sleazy. That’s a thing I’m saying now.”