I usually title at the end of writing. Today? #whatever
I have nothing more to complain about. The kid has landed a new job. How you like me now? Although, the misery and bitching is what keeps the writing constant, I realize I just complain for the hell of it, along with the entertainment and laughs it brings me. Screw ya’ll. I guess it’s time to laugh at actual, funny things. The self deprecation thing is getting old. I’m growing up. It’s scary as shit, but I’m pretty psyched about it. I’m sitting in a very awkward position.
After leaving my place of employment, I went a little cray- casually decided to dye my hair “ombre”. Welp… I’m a blonde bombshell. Naturally, my next step was to get a tan. Sure, I’ll go to Florida, Dad. My parents live a lavish life of traveling the globe. They seriously effing deserve it though. Retired P.O.’s going hard these days. Since, I’m in between jobs, why the hell would I not join? (Fo’ free.) So, now, I’m in the Fort Lauderdale condo, lonely burnt Puerto Rican, listening to the kid upstairs opening and closing his closet doors. I have yet to meet this mystery manchild, but I know he drives a black Camero, that I’m pretty positive, is in fact the Bat Mobile.
My sunburn has completely amazed me. I am enviously brown-skinned year round in comparison to my Caucasian friends (no offense, guys) yet somehow, even after applying SPF 30 I have grown to be a blotchy red ROCK LOBSTER on my chest, top of my arms, the line right below my tits and along my bathing suit bottom. Ok. Along the line of the bathing suit can be explained by careless application of sunscreen, however, my dark, brown, tan forehead is completely offsetting my rudolph the red nose reindeer (not to mention inflamed and red along the sides of the nose, as if I fell asleep for months with a Biore strip on my face) and still very pale and white cheeks. This looks awesome.
I’ve decided that there seriously are only a small number of people that entertain me. Seriously, and truly, ENTERTAIN me. I will always be kind. I will always be polite. I will always be nice. If I do not find you funny. I do not apologize for that. At all. Is that bitchy? I seriously find a handful of people funny. I may find some of the things others say funny at times. That doesn’t mean I find you funny enough to be around or talk to on a consistent basis. Although, I do find traits in people that amuse me, but I get bored easily. I either sound like a horrible human being, or I make no sense at all. It’s late, I’m tired, and hot. Very hot. Sweating.
I don’t have much to say. Partially because this has become less of a private diary since I have told too many people I blog. I’ll get back into the swing of being awkward and ridiculous, I’m sure.
Tiny dancer’s new blog literally had me in tears laughing #cerealthinking