suavity

Romance in the Dark Ages

DM: One of the guys sits down next to you and says, “Hey! You are beautiful! Would you like to get married?“ 

DM: (explaining to us) Hey, they got married before they did anything in those days.

Me: I’m going to flirt with him.

DM: Alright, roll to flirt.

Me, one success later, mustering all the medieval suavity I can: So, how many cows are you willing to pay my father~?

ok ok ok but consider:
happy lives for the avengers once all this dumb stuff is done with big ol’ fights

steve takes it upon himself to find joy in life again on his first trip back to new york. he volunteers at homes for the elderly and hospitals and schools to talk about life as it used to be. he finds absolute happiness in pulling on his vintage clothes and walking through the city streets at night to reflect on how much things have changed. sometimes he sits in times square just to admire the lights.
tony is a man of science, but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy a little fiction - he ropes sam and rhodey into frequent movie nights, laughing with friends and a few cold beers at the movies he loved as a kid. sometimes bucky sits to watch, nodding at jokes he can’t quite understand but loving the company all the same. the nights expand and soon the men are sharing their favourite pastimes like old friends - watching sports is a religion as they sit and share a round of drinks and each other’s company in a 24 hour bar. tony stark is surrounded by his family and nothing has ever felt better.
wanda cuts off all her hair one night alone in the compound. it feels like freedom to have strands curling up round her ears and chin - it is the first decision in a long time that has been completed and entirely hers. she begins to experiment with her identity, switching between all black grunge and alternative indie and soft pastels over the course of a few months. she puts on makeup for award ceremonies and wears flowing dresses for galas and dances at events, she lives the life all teenagers are meant to live.
bucky begins to regain the identity he had once lost in a similarly experimental way. although in a forgotten day his birth name seemed overly formal, being called james begins to make him feel more human. he finds that this new james loves comedy, laughing under his breath at the office and parks and rec on lazy sunday mornings. james also loves poetry, he finds, and although he is yet to completely master writing it he is comforted by the relatability of words. he looks at himself in suits and remembers the days of suavity and excitement he used to know - at some events he asks the maximoff girl to dance and is able to regain his moves for an hour or two. he is overjoyed at the man he is becoming.
vision is finally able to experience life, not as a weapon or an experiment, but as a human. he is fascinated with coffee shops and soft sweaters, and likes to spend his days away from training switching between writing short stories and acknowledging all the people around him in his local starbucks. he is constantly polite and becomes known for his gentle heart and kind smile rather than his robotics, as well as his fondness for classical music and vinyl record collecting. he creates a home for himself where life is only ever warm and friendly, and where life can be warm and friendly for anyone else who needs it too.
at the end of long days, the team convenes to eat a casual meal in the lounge of the compound, usually a hot takeaway or pizza at the weekends. they smile over the food, listening to nat and clint discuss the trials of looking after young children while being a secret agent on the side. scott is in a place where no one is judging him for his past and are instead respecting him for his comedic kindness and good nature. peter feels as though life could never get better than this. everyone is loved, safe and happy.

Caught - Joshua smut

Pairing: Joshua x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff-ish

Warnings: masturbation, phone sex, riding, dirty talk, profanity

Word Count: 1746

Description: {request} Joshua had been away, and you have been longing for him so much, so much you weren’t careful about it

A/N: I have sinned. I felt so out of character writing this. The person who actually requested this was a friend of mine and it killed me. This is my first smut, and pair my shitty writing with my lack of sexual experience, you can predict the quality of this so I’m sorry! Enjoy nonetheless.

Originally posted by daimer0se

(this boy wants me to die)

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anonymous asked:

if you wanted prompts, how about bucky pining over the cute nerd tony and getting jealous of how much time tony spends with his best friend/super popular kid rhodey

Bahaha Tony’s friendship with Rhodey is more important to me than any shipping I just want everyone to know that. Look out for more under the cut! I hope you like this, Anon! :)


“You’re staring again,” Steve commented, peeling his orange.

Bucky didn’t even try to deny it. He’d denied it the first few times and now Natasha just looked at him like he was pathetic when he tried to say he was looking at something beyond Tony. Besides, what was the point of denying it when basically the whole school knew how gone he was for Stark? Except for Tony himself, of course, the oblivious punk.

“He’s just so cute,” Bucky whined, leaning his face on his fists as he watched Tony gesticulate wildly while he talked to Bruce Banner. “With his glasses and the way his hair curls a little bit and his stupid backpack that’s almost as big as he is–”

“I’m waiting for the day when the weight of his backpack sends him down the stairs,” Clint cut in. “Fifty bucks it’ll happen by the end of the year.”

Natasha shook his hand, taking that bet.

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jean-snow replied to your post “A Brief Account of Why Vampires Are Romanian (or Rather A Not-At-All…”

This was a fantastic and very informative read, but if you don’t mind my asking… if the creatures we tend to think of as “traditional” vampires don’t come from Romanian folklore, is there a place where they do come from? Or are they really just a hodge-podge of complete fiction and misinterpreted myths from different regions?

Okay, I should preface this by saying that I’m not a folklorist and that I have no formal training in tracing the spread of folk beliefs and how they develop. I’m also going to fess up and note that while I personally am sold on the claim that strigoi are best classed as something other than vampires, there have been enough writers claiming them as vampires that I’m pretty sure that the line between them and vampires has blurred a little as a result. In particular, Emily Gerard (author of The Land Beyond the Forest and “Transylvanian Superstitions”) was a major influence on Stoker’s depiction of vampires and she cites a bunch of “vampire” myths that she claims to be Romanian in origin, and this has undoubtedly led to the modern vampire being a composite in which strigoi myths must play some part.

With that in mind, my general, not-terribly-exciting stance on the origin of vampires is that they come from Slavic-language-speaking regions that actually have mythical beings called something that sounds like “vampire” (Ex: vampir, wampir upir). I would be absolutely unsurprised if there was cross-pollination with other folkloric creatures, as is clearly the case with the strigoi at this point, and its very evident that a number of now deeply entrenched vampiric attributes are purely literary or cinematic inventions. However, at the end of the day, I’m inclined to give the original “vampire” to groups with monsters by that name, even if there is an inescapable hodgepodgeiness to the vampire we now consider “traditional.” This isn’t to say that there’s some static, singular Slavic vampire that’s the “real” thing, but rather that that’s the general direction in which one should look in trying to explore how our conception of vampires has evolved.

My basic guess as to the course of said evolution? I’m obviously not the ultimate authority on the topic, but if you want my general impression of how we got from the Slavic folkloric being behind the European newspaper stories of the 1730s and what we have today, here’s what I’d propose:

Pre-1700-1800s: Slavic vampires are a thing. They’re not particularly vampire-y by today’s standards. They’re basically zombies with a different dietary restriction, and they also sometimes steal your corn pudding, spook your cattle, wreck your crops and generally do the sort of nefarious stuff in your community that might prompt you and your pals to exhume some bodies and stab them in the hopes that the effects of plague, famine, and misfortune might be averted. You can generally kill these puppies via decapitation or staking; they sometimes have issues with apotropaic plants, running water, and/or religious symbols; and they always always always flee back to their grave when you are not asleep and being attacked.

1819: John Polidori does the one sort of competent thing in his life in that he writes a totally incompetent story about how Lord Byron is a vampire and incompetently gets it attributed to Byron himself. Vampires are now sapient people that can pass as human and are also predatory, libertine aristocrats. They are no longer jerkbag corpses that you can never seem to spot up and about; they can now hang out with you, entice you into gambling and debauchery, and murder your sister.

1820s-1890s: Lots of vampire literature happens, but it isn’t Dracula. Lots of literary vampire trends come in and out of fashion, but we tend not to remember them because they aren’t Dracula. Something that we don’t remember is how literary vampires had to either get married to keep being vampires or get married to stop being vampires. We also don’t remember that vampires, instead of burning in the sunlight, used to recharge in the moonlight. Back in the day, you could shoot/stab/strangle/whatev a vampire, and it would have the decency to die… only it would pop back up like a daisy if cold moonbeams hit it. This is sort of interesting, because stuff like the marriage and moonlight rules aren’t folkloric; they’re literary conventions that have just gone out of fashion. We do, however, remember some of the literary conventions that developed during this time, partially because some had folkloric backing, and partially because they appear in…

1897: DRACULA! Okay. Carmilla probably should get a brief mention because it was obviously on Bram’s radar enough that he initially thought of setting his book in Styria, but sadly Carm’s vampire mythos contributions pretty much get overshadowed at this point. Dracula happens and then vampires change. While the novel includes a lot of folklorically-derived stuff (some cribbed earlier vampire works, some taken from authors like Gerard), Stoker introduces some elements that are new (having to sleep in special dirt, having to be invited in, having no reflection, being really upset about garlic in particular instead of any of the gazillion other herbs vampires hate, etc…). Despite the fact that he appears to have made some of this up or ganked it from the attributes of Mephistolfeles in a recent production of Faust, this is the stuff that becomes vampire gospel. Our concept of the “traditional vampire” now does these things because Dracula is that big.

1922: Nosferatu happens. Orlok shows up, dissolves at the cock’s crow, nearly gets erased from history by Florence Stoker, but nevertheless gives vampires their pernicious sunlight allergy. I’m not the greatest at twentieth-century vampire media, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this attribute isn’t really set in stone until Christopher Lee starts catching fire in the 50s-70s.

1931: Dracula is soldified as the most important vampire thing in the history of vampires. The suavity of vampirekind also might have gotten a little off course in the journey from Ruthven to Orlok, and Bela shows up and reasserts that vampires are aristocratic in bearing and generally aesthetically pleasing. Additionally, Dwight Frye as Renfield sets up people’s expectations for the archetypal vampiric ghoul/servitor/minion for like… forever.

1950s-1980s: If you weren’t painfully aware of the fact that vampires are all about assaulting busty hapless women, Hammer Horror hammers home that vampires are -in fact- all about that, and it does so in glorious technicolor. In the meantime, Barnabas Collins helps to start the trend of vampires actually secretly being sympathetic characters full of vampires feelings, a trend that continues through various 1970s Dracula productions and eventually finds its best known expression in Lestat’s boyfriend bemoaning how dark the night is into a tape recorder.

1980s-Now: Vampires get more sympathetic, more punk, more trenchcoaty, and more popular. Then they sparkle, and everyone acts like this is some sort of travesty, because their non-Slavic, sapient, sympathetic, aristocratic, invitation-needing, sun-susceptible, trench-coat-wearing vampires are the real vampires™ and not just another iteration of a monster that’s been continually changing in popular culture for nearly three centuries.

[…] Only the roar that greets Bette Midler’s entrance in Hello, Dolly! compares to the explosion in the Richard Rodgers Theatre when Javier Muñoz sings the words “Alexander Hamilton” in the opening number that bears his name. Granted, when you have waited so long, heard so much, and negotiated the soul-killing obstacle course involved in attending any Broadway show, you really want a spectacular return on your investment. In this case, however, the fact that I knew what was coming at almost every moment did nothing to diminish the feeling I eagerly shared with the audience. It was the exhilaration of collaborating, as every audience does, with a company on stage in creating something indelible, something transformative and something almost indescribably pleasurable.


Hamilton is in great shape. In the case of Muñoz, it’s not too surprising; he’s been with the show from the beginning as Miranda’s stand-by and performed the lead when the Obama family stopped by the Rodgers for a visit. Muñoz may be the better singer (Miranda is hardly shabby in that department). Miranda never let us forget the wince of an orphan’s insecurity buried deep beneath his layers of determination and self-confidence; Muñoz conveys tougher armor. I’m not going to declare one better than the other; they’re different and equally satisfying.


Indeed, it’s generally an odious critical gambit to compare performances. Who cares how many Uncle Vanyas I’ve seen, tell me about this one. There may be slightly more justification here because the original Broadway cast album is ubiquitous and many theater goers are familiar with the voices that created Hamilton. In this case they really are significant, but again, more because of their stylistic differences than because of any diminishment in the stature of the performances. Hamilton’s nemesis, Aaron Burr, is played by the exceptionally fine Brandon Victor Dixon replacing Leslie Odom Jr. The latter was steel cloaked in suavity, while Dixon is more severe in the opening number, which gives us both Hamilton’s back story and the seeds of a rivalry that will only conclude in a duel on the New Jersey shore many decades later. Delivering what is, to my mind, the show’s most astonishing number, “The Room Where It Happens,” Dixon’s another knockout.


The killer-comic dual roles of the Marquis de Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson, created by Tony winner Daveed Diggs, are now played by Tony winner James Monroe Igglehart [sic], who originated the Genie in the stage version of Aladdin. Where Diggs was sleek and carbonated with energy, Igglehart [sic] exudes a crafty jollity that’s irresistible in its own way, not so much playing to the audience as coercing us into abetting his antics. Lexi Lawson and Mandy Gonzalez have the formidable challenge of replacing Phillipa Soo and Renée Elise Goldsberry as Eliza and Angelica Schuyler, respectively, and they’re fully up to the task, singing gorgeously and plaintively. (I still wish someone would tell me what the hell happened to Peggy Schuyler, the Schuyler Sister Who Disappears, but that’s an old gripe.)


One extremely felicitous cast change is the return of Brian d’Arcy James as King George III. He created the role but had to leave while the show was still running at the Public to go into Something Rotten!. (He was replaced by Jonathan Groff and others.) Now he’s back and he’s great, especially in some deft interplay with Igglehart [sic] as Jefferson.


[…] this fourth visit to Hamilton allowed me to savor even more the truly astonishing work of director Thomas Kail and choreographer Andy Blankenbuehler (both Tony winners for the show, with Blankenbuehler repeating a few weeks ago for his choreography of Bandstand). Like Miranda’s score, which ranges restlessly from hip-hop to pop, blues to ballad to traditional Broadway belter, Hamilton itself is in constant motion, an organism whose multitude of parts (the company is fantastic) are seamlessly in synch in ways that just stop your breathing as one scene flows into the next, inventively, smartly, unexpectedly. That’s one of the things that makes Hamilton a truly great Broadway musical. But only one of them.

His Crimson ~ A Markiplier and Jacksepticeye Ego Fanfic

It’s time for some ROMANTIC DANTI YALL 😍 i’m so happy that this lovely little fic has been birthed from my subconscious👌there may be a bit of “implication” if ya catch ma drift BUT it is still filled with sfw lovey dovey floof with emo boi and the glitch bitch being absolutely cheeky goofs 😍 SO LET US BEGIN!

Let’s be real, they weren’t an ordinary couple. They didn’t go out for picnics in pastured scenery or for candlelit dinners at five star eateries or michelin star establishments. They didn’t need to, each of them just being themselves was enough for the other. Although they did partake in certain soppy things, in complete and utter secrecy of course. The figments known as Darkiplier and Antisepticeye did have very specific images to maintain. Not now though, since Anti was sat atop Dark’s lap as they both inhabited a comfy couch.

‘Open up…’

Anti grinned as Dark fed him a green grape, grinning as Anti yanked it off the stem with an exaggerated wink. Dark shook his head before pecking the giggly man with a light chuckle, the deep tone sending warmth down Anti’s spine; they withdrew, Anti with a gentle flush. The green-haired man giggled heavily as he nibbled his bottom lip, breaking off a piece of chocolate from the 75% cocoa bar he held in his hands. He held the piece up in between his fingers.

‘Okahay you nohow!’

Dark chuckled as he opened his mouth to let Anti slip the piece of chocolate into his mouth, his eyes glittered deviously as he pretended to try and nip at Anti’s forefinger.

'AH!’

Dark laughed melodously at his boyfriend’s yelp, smirking widely as Anti narrowed his eyes with a gentle pout.

'Well that was rude…’

Dark snickered as the chocolate melted in his mouth, he swallowed lightly with a teasing grin.

'You loved it really.’

Anti sneered as Dark smirked teasingly.

'Shut up.’

Anti stuck his tongue out and went to break off another chocolate piece, but Dark placed his hand under his chin gently. Their eyes met and Anti found himself leaning forward until their lips met, Dark ran a hand through his messy locks and caressed the back of his neck. They hummed as they kissed. Dark’s eyes fluttering shut as he let Anti push him down deeper into the couch, said man was enamoured at the bittersweet taste that coated Dark’s lips. Anti withdrew only to peck lightly down Dark’s jaw, he let his lips trail up to his ear, but then Dark seemed to…flinch?

Anti leant up to look at him, and was made curious to see him biting his lip harshly.

'You okay Darky?’

Dark swallowed gently before setting his expression into that of a calm suavity, he smiled.

'But of course, don’t stop now…’

Anti was still a little unsure, but he smiled back before going back to his neck and relishing in Dark’s relaxed sighs. But….his curiosity was insatiable. Anti let his eyes fix on his lover’s face as he moved to the back of his ear, and he grinned when Dark flinched once again as the corners of his lips twitched. Oh my god, this was priceless.

’D'ya like this spot Darky?’

Dark cleared his throat as he kept his eyes shut, his lips twitching as Anti’s lips traced the shell of his ear. He didn’t want his composure to break, he didn’t want Anti to find out about his…sensitivity.

'It’s fi-ine…’

Dark cursed the little blip in his voice, but Anti rejoiced in it as all the puzzle pieces fell into place in his mind. Dark, his brooding and sulty Dark, was ticklish. Anti would be damned if he didn’t have some fun with this, he giggled and felt a wave of exhileration when Dark shivered fractionally.

'Are you suuuure?’

Anti smirked before nuzzling behind Dark’s ear, which made the owner jump in surprise before breaking out into a stream of chuckling.

'Ahahahantihihi!’

Dark tried to clamp his mouth shut as he fought the urge to scrunch his neck, but Anti’s soft lips and rough stubble meant he couldn’t stop himself. Anti giggled furthur as he nipped teasingly at the shell of his ear.

'Yes Darky dearest?’

Dark cackled as more vibrations spread through his ear and down his spine.

'Stahahap thihis ihihimmehediahatly!’

Dark felt his cheeks going a light pink when Anti laughed loudly and mischievously before rearing up with a feral grin.

'Oh baby I’m just getting started…’

Dark gulped when Anti took hold of his wrists tightly before pinning them under his knees, Anti was straddling his thighs now with a strong excitement.

'Now Anti, there is no reason for you to do this-’

'Oh I can think of plenty!’

Dark bit the inside of his cheek as Anti’s wild irises darted over his torso, he shivered as he felt like he was being scanned. Anti placed his fingertips on Dark’s sides and stroked with a curious grin, which only grew when Dark descended into gentle laughter.

'Why didn'tcha tell me you were so sensitive?’

Dark’s chest shook as he tried to force away his mirth, but it was no use.

'Fuhuhuhuckihing guehehess!’

Anti cackled at Dark’s frustrated state, he hummed in thought as he moved his hands so they could scratch over Dark’s belly. Dark yelped and flushed as his laughter jumped up and transformed into highly pitched giggles. Anti was shocked, but infinately more gleeful.

'Awww, you’re so cute like this! All giggly and giddy at my touch….’

Dark avoided his boyfriend’s taunting gaze as his flush worsened, his giggles flowing freely as sparks and spirals shot through his abdomen.

'Shuhuhuhut uhuhuhuhup!’

Anti’s eyes widened. This was so much better than he’d first thought, Dark wasn’t just really ticklish…he was embarrassed about it too.

'Why? Don’t you like my voice?’

Anti pouted in mock upset as he skittered over Dark’s waistline, immediatly smirking joyfully at Dark’s rapid bucking.

'Dohohohohon’t!!!’

Dark was blushing forcefully and tugging at his arms, but he was already beginning to tire from Anti’s torture as well as his embarrassingly effective teasing. He glanced up at Anti for a moment, which he immediatly regretted.

'So hot and flustered, I quite like it when you’re like this. All trapped and all mine…to do with as I please…’

Dark let out a strangled noise as Anti’s eyes bore into his teasingly, his teeth gleamed out through his devilish grin as he circled a fingertip round his navel…before dipping it in.

'STAHAHAHAP THIHIHIHIS!’

Dark’s laughter bounced through the room in echoing cackles as Anti burrowed a finger into his belly button, swirling and scratching deviously.

'Coochie coochie coo! What a ticklish little thing you are…’

Dark grunted and growled as Anti demeaned him, he tried to glare through his wild laughter.

'IHIHIHI’M GOHOIHING TOHOHO GEHEHET YOHOU FOHOR THIHIHIS!’

Despite Anti’s position, Dark’s words still sent shivers through his nervous system as his intimidating demeanour flickered for a moment. But Anti soon smirked and leant over him.

'I might as well make the most of it then!’

Dark squealed harshly as Anti suddenly flew under his shirt and dug into his ribcage, he belly laughed as Anti worked over and in between the bones.

'NAHAHAHAHA FAHAHAHACK!’

Dark shook his torso about, but nothing could halt Anti’s devious fingers as they rubbed and pinched endlessly.

'Tickle tickle Darky!’

Dark threw his head back at Anti’s childish teasing which, much to his annoyance, only darkened his flush. Anti soon reared up again.

'Oh where oh where to go next?’

Anti pondered out loud as he trailed his hands over Dark’s chest, feeling his own heart swell at the feeling of Dark’s beating rapidly.

'Hohow abohout nohowhehere?’

Anti grinned with a fond edge as Dark spoke imploringly, he let it dim to a gentle smile as he leant over his lover. He kissed Dark’s lips softly which surprised him, but he still reciprocated gently. Anti’s lips however, soon curled into a smirk as he spontaneously rubbed his thumbs over Dark’s hipbones.

'AHAHAHA YOHOHOHOU LIHIHIHITTLE SHIHIHIT!’

Dark squeaked and laughed into Anti’s lips making the latter smirk, he moved his thumbs to the deep bowels beside the bones and massaged slowly. Anti pecked little kisses over his burning cheeks as he teased.

'You didn’t reaaally think I was done did you?’

Dark bucked heavily as Anti’s thumbs teased the soft bundles of nerves, he yipped furthur as Anti’s lips trailed over his cheeks.

'AHAHAHANTIHIHI PLEHEHEHEASE!’

Anti was taken aback, was Dark actually begging? He softened his touch and gazed lovingly at him as Dark gasped and took in oxygen heavily, his eyes were lidded as Anti still hovered mere inches above him; Dark nibbled his bottom lip nervously.

'So beautifully sensitive….’

Dark opened his mouth to speak, but closed it with a slight grimace which made Anti snap to attention.

'Hey….hey what’s wrong? Do you really not like-’

'I-It’s not that….’

Anti kept silent as Dark collected himself, there was a moment of silence before the suave man spoke quietly.

'You don’t think this….makes me weak?’

Anti felt his heart shiver at the genuine shame lacing Dark’s voice, he narrowed his eyes harshly as he steadied his voice.

'Now you listen. You are not weak. This….thing…’

Anti flapped his hands about which brought a gentle smile to Dark’s lips.

'Is beautiful. Y'hear me?’

Dark nodded gently as a new smirk grew on Anti’s face, Dark gulped and shivered when Anti reared back up slowly.

'Good, besides…now I know about this…’

Anti traced a finger over Dark’s jaw and flicked it under his chin, humming contentedly when Dark giggled lightly.

’….you’re never going to hear the end of it.’

Dark’s eyes widened as Anti suddenly affixed his lips to the shell of his ear and blew harshly.

'WHAHAHAHAT THEHE FUHUHUHUCK IHIHIS THAHAHAT?!’

Dark wailed as Anti withdrew, licking his lips gently with amazed confusion.

'What? You’ve never had a raspberry before? I’ll have to fix that…’

Dark couldn’t utter a protest in time before Anti blew continuous raspberries over his ears and neck, overjoyed at the deep, desperate cackles.

'IHIHIHIHI FEHEHEHELS WEHEHEHEIRD!’

Anti snickered as he whispered into his ear, nibbling at his earlobe.

'Ohh just wait till I go to your other tickle spots-’

'NAHAHAHAHAHA!’

Dark shuddered and grinned nervously as Anti withdrew, smirking as he shuffled down towards his torso. Luckily for Anti Dark was clad in a simple grey t-shirt and shorts, he pushed the fabric up and bent down to kiss Dark’s belly.

'Ah-hmm….’

Anti felt his chest swell as Dark giggled and hummed, clearly enjoying the light affection as he shut his eyes. Anti snickered against the quivering flesh as he took a deep breath….and blew.

'NAHAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAP!’

Dark was wrenched from his dazed state as he twisted and shook, the vibrations and shivers from Anti’s lips swept throughout his torso and round to his spine….and he couldn’t escape.

'Mmmmm what a yummy tummy you have, I think I’ll keep it….’

Dark yelped and cackled as Anti knawed and nipped at his tummy, giving special attention to the rim of his navel which rewarded Anti with wild screeches.

'DOHOHOHOHON’T DOHOHOHOHO THAHAHAHAT!!!’

Anti snickered before growling harshly.

'I thought you liked my biting Darky….’

Dark stammered and spluttered whilst trying to hide his deliciously crimson cheeks, Anti hummed again as he pecked over the sensitive area. He flicked his eyes towards Dark who was eyeing him nervously, Anti grinned as he took Dark’s wrists in his hands.

'What are you….going to do?’

Dark almost cringed at the way his words wavered as he gazed at his boyfriend, whose eyes glimmered and jumped with joy. He shivered gently, not with fear, but with security. He knew he was at Anti’s mercy….but he was just fine with that. The trust that was built between them was unlike anything else in the world….but he was still enraptured with anticipation.

'Something agonisingly torturous I hope….’

Anti shifted and rested his chin on top of Dark’s knees, the latter fixed his focused gaze on him. However, as soon as Anti’s lips met with his knees and thighs he was lost. Dark utterly melted at the gentle, innocent kisses and nuzzles which lulled him into a state of relaxed oblivion. All the while Anti plotted his finishing move.

The green haired man tightened his grip on Dark’s wrists as he paused at the back of Dark’s knee….and took a deep breath. Dark’s reaction was instantaneous.

'NAHAHAHAHAHA FAHAHAHAHA!!!’

His entire body jolted and a scream flew from his throat as he laughed and wailed, Anti raspberried maliciously behind his knees as he slowly moved to nibble at his thighs.

'Such wildness from you Dark, and all from a little tickling….’

'FUHUHUHUHUHU YOHOHOHOHOHOU!!!’

Dark was incoherent and slowly beginning to wheeze amidst his insane mirth, in that moment it was all he could feel. There was nothing else in the world except that. Anti could see his ravished state and diminished his torment to mere pecks on his inner thighs.

'What ticklish thighs you have….I think I’ll keep these too!’

Dark giggled and smiled widely as Anti peeked at him and gave him a teasing wink, ecstatic at how he reduced Dark to such a rough mess.

'Buhuhuhut thehey’re mihihine!’

Anti laughed at Dark’s childishness as he still giggled wholeheartedly, he sneered and kissed both thighs warmly before pulling away.

'Not anymore they’re not!’

Anti’s bouncy giggles joined Dark’s deep ones as he released his wrists, but despite that, Dark let them lie at his sides as Anti crawled over him.

'This is mine…’

Anti left a sloppy kiss on his tummy as Dark grinned bashfully, the former crawled closer as he kissed different parts of his body. Anti was blushing just from his unadulterated happiness as he leant forward to smooch Dark’s blaring cheeks.

'These are mine too!’

Dark chuckled, finally back to his regular cool state as Anti’s hyperractiveness swarmed around him, making him buzz internally. He narrowed his eyes before leaning forward and capturing Anti’s lips forcefully, he grasped the t-shirt he wore as he took back a glimmer of control.

'So just so I know….is there anything I get to keep?’

He murmured against Anti’s lips, the owner of which shivered before grinning cheekily.

'Yeah….me.’

There was a short silence as Anti’s words sunk through, Dark broke it with a gentle laugh as he muttered gently.

'I think I can live with that.’

They both giggled before kissing again, so passionately and so happily that one would think that maybe they were an ordinary couple. But let’s be real…they were so much more than that.

Whooo boi another long one and I AM HAPPY WITH THIS MY DUDES 😄 tell me if you are too and yeaaah, luv yous xx

Early in the morning, with the important paper in the bosom of his embroidered coat, Laurens, accompanied by his secretary, presented his name at the door of the audience chamber of the Count de Vergennes.  According to agreement, Dr. Franklin was waiting; he was sitting and listening, with his benevolent smile, to the polite words of the minister under whose influence, it must be confessed, the worthy old gentleman had been so moved to patience and inaction.  As Colonel Laurens entered the apartment, Franklin and the Count rose, the latter all suavity and politeness.  Franklin opened his snuffbox, and appeared somewhat nervous.  It was the first time that Laurens had found a chance to plead his cause in the way he wished to, and he opened fire without preamble.  He began to present his facts, and urged passionately the necessity of compliance with his views.  Count de Vergennes listened smiling and unmoved.  At last, as the young American was finishing a sentence in which he rather gave way to the bitter feelings that filled his bosom, the Count raised his hand, and interrupted.  He threw himself into an armchair, and his smile was sarcastic as he began to speak.  ‘Colonel Laurens,’ said he, ‘you are so recently from the headquarters of the American army, you forget that you are no longer delivering the orders of the Commander-in-Chief, but that you are addressing the minister of a monarch who has every disposition to favor your country.’

Laurens, who had seated himself, rose at once.  He controlled himself with difficulty.  After striding across the room, he turned.  ‘Favor, sir!  The respect that I owe to my country will not admit the term.  Say that the aid is mutual, and I will cheerfully subscribe to the obligation.  But as the last argument I shall use with your Excellency—the sword which I now wear in the defense of France as well as my own country I may be compelled within a short time to draw against France as a British subject, unless the succor I solicit is immediately accorded.’

— 

From “The Man for the Hour” by James Barnes

I believe @ciceroprofacto and I mentioned this display of Laurens’s temper and frustration in our recent podcast, so here’s the full context and the supposed dialogue.  This article is hardly an academic source and should not be taken as complete fact, so this event may have been apocryphal.  However, it does sound like something Laurens would have done, so I can’t deny its plausibility.

Thinking back, there were so many red flags warning me to stay away from you yet something about you, whether it was your suavity, your deep brown eyes, your smirks, something just kept me within your fingertips. I was enamored by you and even now I am still trapped between the memories we made together. Sometimes I wonder whether you miss me or regret those words you spoke to me that night. I hope you do, because it is finally time for you to start missing me. After all, I just lost someone who didn’t care about me while you lost someone that loved you.
—  annoymous 2016

anonymous asked:

my real question is what reasons 1-75 are

owlgirl1998 reblogged your post and added:

3) Where’s Patagonia it sounds lovely?

ALRIGHT PEOPLE LISTEN UP

PATAGONIA IS THE SOUTHERNMOST PART OF SOUTH AMERICA, A REGION THAT INCLUDES BOTH CHILE AND ARGENTINA

IT’S THE MOST FRIGGIN GORGOUS PLACE IN THE WORLD

NO SERIOUSLY IT’S BEAUTIFUL

I SHIT YOU NOT THE SKY IS BLUE

LIKE YOU THINK YOU KNOW THIS BUT MY GOD YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT THE SKY IS BLUE UNTIL YOU’VE SEEN HOW FECKING BLUE THE SKY CAN BE

AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT THE OUTSIDE WORLD IS A FABULOUS FABULOUS PLACE BUT IN THE TOWNS THEY HAVE A GREAT APPRECIATION OF (A) SUBLIME CHURCHES AND (B) CHOCOLATE WORTH KILLING FOR NO JOKE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES IN THIS HOT CHOCOLATE BUT I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S STRAIGHT UP AMORENTIA BECAUSE MY GOD

GLACIERS MY FRIEND BIG ASS GLACIERS THIS FUCKER IS PERITO MORENO GLACIER AND IT’S OVER 70M TALL M E T E R S 70 METERS

AND YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT NO ONE GOES TO PATAGONIA IN WINTER BECAUSE IT’S COLD AND TRANSPORT STOPS WORKING AND YOU GET RANDOMLY SNOWED IN WITH FOOD SUPPLIES DWINDLING BUT MY FRIENDS THESE FAIR WEATHER PEOPLE ARE MISSING OUT BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE WE SHARED THIS GLACIER WITH???

FOUR. FOUR OTHER PEOPLE. AND WE DIDN’T LIKE SHARING SO WE WALKED DOWN A BIT AND GOT OUR OWN PRIVATE STRETCH OF GLACIER WHERE WE COULD HEAR THE ICE CREAKING AND SINGING AND CAN YOU DO THAT WITH CROWDS? I THINK NOT FUCKERS

AND ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE ESTEEMED KING PENGUINS WITH GIANT FLUFFBOMB CHICKS LOOK AT THEM AND WEEP BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU I WAS SOBBING UGLY TEARS AND IT WAS SO DAMN COLD AND WINDY THAT I GOT BLOWN OVER AND FROZE TO DEATH BUT I’D DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT BECAUSE ACTUAL PENGUINS

WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED IF THE EAGLES OF MANWE CAME WHEELING OUT FROM BEHIND THE FITZ ROY??? YES FOOLS BECAUSE THOSE LIVE IN NEW ZEALAND IT’S CONDOR COUNTRY OVER HERE AND HOLY FUCK CONDORS CAN MOVE THEY’RE LIKE SUPER FAST AND HUGE IT’S AMAZING

BY THE WAY WE DID TRY AND CLIMB THE FITZ ROY AND IT WENT BADLY BECAUSE THE WEATHER WENT FROM THE LOVELINESS YOU SEE ABOVE TO THIS ARSECRACK OF A DAMP SQUIB

AND IT KEPT GETTING WORSE UNTIL WE HAD TO TURN AROUND AND LEG IT AND WE GENUINELY THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO FALL OFF AND DIE BECAUSE WE COULD SEE ZIPPO ANYWHERE IT WAS HILARIOUS

IS THIS A LLAMA NO IT IS NOT BAMBOOZLED AGAIN IT’S A LLAMA’S WILD COUSIN THE GUANACO AND THESE THINGS DEFY PHYSICS I SWEAR BUT ALSO MEGA CUTE

AND INCIDENTALLY

THE FOOD

I DON’T HAVE A PICTURE BECAUSE MY HANDS WERE BUSY EATING BUT THEY DO LAMB IN A BIG WAY AND YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN QUANTITIES OF MEAT UNTIL YOU’VE SEEN QUANTITIES OF MEAT LIKE THE SOUTH AMERICANS SERVE IT IT CAUSED ME ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN TO EAT THAT MUCH FOOD BUT I WOULD NOT STOP IF YOU PAID ME

SO IN SUMMARY FRIEND

IF YOU EVER HAVE HERMIT DESIRES GET THYSELF TO PATAGONIA PRONTO AND MAKE SURE YOU GO IN WINTER

YOU WILL GET SNOWED IN

YOU WILL SPEND OVER AN HOUR WALKING AROUND A MOSTLY DESERTED TOWN TRYING TO FIND SOMEWHERE OPEN THAT SELLS BREAD

YOU WILL BUILD AN ALTAR OF SOCKS TO THE FIRE AND TAKE OUT THE KNEECAPS OF ANYONE WHO DARES STEAL YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE

YOU WILL STAND ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN WITH YOUR ARMS OUTSTRETCHED AND THE ONLY OTHER HUMAN BEING YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE IS THE GOOF YOU DRAGGED WITH YOU

YOU WILL WALK APPROXIMATELY TWENTY MILES A DAY AND MOST OF IT WILL BE UPHILL

YOU WILL SORELY MISS TREES

YOU WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HOW FUCKING BLUE THE FUCKING SKY IS

OR HOW PRETTY IS IT

IN SHORT

GET THYSELF TO PATAGONIA

AND CRAP I FORGOT TO MENTION THEY HAVE FLAMINGOS AND FOXES AND SEA LIONS AND BIRDS AND ALL OF THAT

AND CULTURE AND HISTORY THE PEOPLE OF TIERRA DEL FUEGO DIDN’T WEAR CLOTHES BECAUSE WET CLOTHES? EEEWWW SO THEY JUST PUT ANIMAL FAT ON THEIR BARE SKIN  AND WHEN THE EUROPEANS ARRIVED THEY WENT WTF???? WHY AND BROUGHT SOME OF THE PEOPLE BACK WITH THEM TO EUROPE TO TEACH THEM TO BE “CULTURED” AND THESE PEOPLE LEARNT THE LANGUAGE AND WORE THE CLOTHES AND DID EVERYTHING THEY WERE ASKED BUT WHEN THE EUROPEANS TOOK THEM HOME TO TEACH THEIR FAMILIES THEY STRIPPED RIGHT BACK OFF AND WENT BACK TO BARE SKIN AND FAT AND THE EUROPEANS JUST WENT NO WAIT WHY SO THEY SAID “WE’VE HAD OUR TIME AS SAVAGES NOW WE’RE BEING ACTUAL PEOPLE AGAIN SO PISS OFF YOU BARBARIANS” WELL NOT IN THOSE EXACT WORDS BUT MEANING STRONGLY IMPLIED AND THE EUROPEANS HAD TO ACCEPT THAT THEY WERE BARBARIANS WHO COULDN’T COMPARE WITH LOCAL SUAVITY AND STYLE

AND AND AND THE MAGELLAN STRAIT LIKE HELLO HISTORY BEAGLE CHANNEL LET ME JUST LIE DOWN ON THIS DECK AND DIE

PATAFUCKINGGONIA BITCHES

Why was Watson friendless?

“I had neither kith nor kin in England.”  “I had no friends who would call upon me and break the monotony of my daily existence.”  “I had begun to think that my companion was as friendless a man as I was myself.”  – Watson, A Study in Scarlet

Something was going on so that 29-year-old Watson didn’t look up men he knew from University of London and elsewhere.  If only for the couple weeks before meeting Holmes, he found himself “a lonely man.”

Speculations:

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javiermofficial: It takes some suavity to make a doorman uniform look cool 😏 One the multiple jobs my dad kept to raise his four boys was being a doorman. The man never stopped working for us. Cancer survivor, Olympic torch carrier (1980’s), carpenter, electrician, painter, abandoned by his stepmother when his father passed my dad attended seminary until he met my mother (she was a looker!). Strong in his faith and family is everything to him. He always said if he can get out of bed then he can go to work. A hero, a champion, a warrior, never too proud to do what needs to be done but stubborn AF with a passionate temper to boot. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and I am grateful for all of it.  For dad and all the fathers out there in your many forms: #happyfathersday

A Harlot’s Guide to History: Mythbusting the Great Seducer (Episode 5)

Giacomo Casanova (1725-1798) has made his mark on history as a beacon of suavity, charm and smooth operation. His name is a by-word for a lady-killer and a seducer. The truth, of course, is far more complex. The Lady takes some of the most widely held misconceptions about the Great Seducer and turns them on their head. A young boy prone to the most ungainly nosebleeds, a witch, an angelic vision, and a feeling of perpetual inadequacy: it all served to make the man a legend.

                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m really proud of this one, guys! It’s kind of the intro to a series I’m going to do on Casanova. Also, I’m just putting a general NSFW warning on this as I discuss a lot of adult themes explicitly.

Made with SoundCloud

Our Bond ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

This is gonna be a continuation of the sfw Bim x Dark stuff I’ve been doing and there’s gonna be a big-ass build up in this one and a bit of simple bondage 😍 it’s gonna have our lil Bim bein a bit cheeky and having to endure some serious consequences 😳 but there will be some eventual romantic floof…let’s begin 😈


Bim Trimmer was….in a certain mood. He was in a mood where the feeling of his own clothing on his skin made him shiver and gulp. His mind was awash with scenarios with wandering hands and teasing smiles…he wanted to be tickled. No no no, wanted is the wrong word…he needed to be tickled. To be made safe and yet incoherent at the same time, he exhaled sharply at the very thought.

But how to ask? When his lips quivered at the very first syllables of his desire, when his vocal chords refused to stretch and call out for what he craved and loved. Bim was stuck. However, it is well known that actions speak louder than words…and Bim was so delirious with need that there was no hesitation.


He’d scoped out the area, and it was clear. He approached the grey door and knocked softly….there was no reply. Good. He slipped in quietly and was already smiling with the incredulousness of what he was doing, he let his eyes roam over the familiar bedroom. Dark’s bedroom. Bim felt a gentle flush rise up at the mere memories of what had happened here in days gone past.

The little sessions that he and Dark had were some of the best moments he’d had recently, and as a result a certain bond had developed between them. Bim was unsure what it was exactly…but he had other things to think about now. He padded over to the tall wardrobe that took up one of the walls, he pulled the doors open and his eyes widened.


The plethora of sharp suits was breathtaking, linings of expensive silk and soft linens were soft and pleasant to Bim’s touch as he trailed his hand over them. But those weren’t what he’d come for. Bim’s eyes caught sight of a small drawer in the bottom section of the wardrobe, he reached down a pulled it open. There it was.

Lying flat, it was like a special artefact as it resided in it’s own special solace. Dark’s crimson tie. Bim picked it up, running it through his fingers before shutting the wardrobe carefully. Ideas ran through his mind, he knew Dark was very particular about this tie…if anything was going to provoke him, it was this. Perhaps he could try wearing it-

‘Who’s-oh, Bim what are you doing here?’

Bim jumped at the sudden voice, eyes darting about as a small yip flew from his lips. Dark stood at the doorway…the open doorway; Bim cursed himself internally for forgetting to shut the door, but part of him was slightly glad at this turn of events. He blinked heavily as Dark looked him over carefully.


‘Is that…my tie?’

Dark interrupted coolly as his gaze loitered over what Bim held in his hands, an intimidating gleam grew in his eyes as Bim suddenly moved to put it behind his back.

'Maybe….’

Dark narrowed his eyes as he looked Bim over, the man was slightly flushed with dilated pupils and his form seemed to shiver. Oh. Dark knew precisely what was going on here. He took a step forward, holding out one of his hands with a firm and intimidating stance.

'Give it to me.’

Bim bit the inside of his cheek, the corner’s of his lips twitching as his grip on the fabric tightened.

'No.’


Dark’s eyes dimmed at his response, he kept maintaining his calm suavity despite the fact that a need was rising within him. A need to pounce on Bim and reduce him to a perfect, hysterical mess.

'Allow me to reiterate. Give it to me, now.’

Bim gulped as his heart fluttered in his chest, his eyes were locked with Dark’s and he very nearly wavered under their intensity. But he didn’t. He took a deep breath as a small smile reached his lips.

'Make me.’

Dark was silent and stoic for a few moments, mind whirring as he fixed his sights on Bim’s quivering form. He closed his hand before bringing his arm towards him, he suddenly sneered heavily.


'Gladly.’

Dark started pacing towards him slowly, a predatory air about him as Bim backed away. He looked at where he was, and tried to make his escape. Bim bolted and tried to duck away from Dark’s eager arms, the adrenaline surging through his veins. With the tie in one hand, he so nearly reached the door…but a firm, cold hand latched around his wrist. Dark’s hand.

'Oh Bim….’

Dark almost spoke in a disappointed tone as Bim turned to look at him, eyes bright and fearful in the face of his rapt determination. He snapped his fingers, making the door slam shut.

'You’re not going anywhere.’

Bim gasped and whimpered as Dark pulled him closer, his contact rough and insistent. He stumbled into his chest as a result, Dark chuckled lowly as Bim looked up at him with a little whimper. Dark hooked his other arm under Bim’s knees and lifted him in a bridal style, Bim giggled nervously as Dark strode to the bed.

’D-Dark Ihi-AH!’


Bim yelped when Dark threw him onto the bed haphazardly, he snarled as he crawled over the flustered man. His eyes were glazed as he pressed a finger onto Bim’s lips to silence him.

'You don’t get to speak….’

Bim shivered with wide eyes, he was like a deer in the headlights as Dark traced over his bottom lip momentarily. Dark ground his teeth together as he plucked the red tie from his limp hand, Bim was far too pre-occupied to even think about resisting. Dark’s eyes flickered dangerously as he licked his lips gently, encaptulated by his position.

'Do you have any idea…of what you do to me?’

Bim was entranced as Dark’s words washed over him, Dark’s eyes were flickered and animated as their owner spoke.

'When I see you like this, there’s a feeling I just cannot describe….’

Dark extended his hand and traced his fingers down Bim’s chest, letting them trail lightly over his belly. Despite the intensity in the air Bim couldn’t halt the light giggle he elicited, along with a gentle flinch. Dark smiled lightly, leaning down to whisper.


I am going to ruin you…’

Bim’s felt his eyes flutter shut as Dark’s word’s swirled and echoed in his mind, despite his fear and anticipation…he couldn’t deny how much he wanted just that. To be ruined. Dark reared up, smiling with a deft smugness at Bim’s needy state.

'But first…shirt off…’

Bim fumbled and trembled with the article of clothing hurriedly as Dark gazed at him amusedly, Bim was about to move it from his shoulders when Dark reached forward and moved his hands away. Dark grasped and dragged the material down and away from Bim’s arms slowly, relishing in the intense goosebumps he left behind, before tossing the shirt away.

'So obediant….’

Dark mumbled absently, making Bim flush and his smile widened with his growing excitement. Bim lay back down with an unabashed eagerness as Dark looked over his bare torso….hungrily. But Dark wasn’t done yet.

'Give me your hands.’

Bim’s breath shattered down his throat.

'Wh-what?’

Dark growled heavily from his throat, fingers almost twitching impatiently.

'Your hands. I won’t tell you again.’

Bim was shocked at Dark’s sharp tone as his face dropped a little, but he offered his hands nonetheless. Dark touched them gently. He ran his thumbs over Bim’s inner wrists, because despite the intensity he wanted to project; he needed Bim to know he was safe. Bim nibbled his lip and relaxed at the contact, his smile returned gently.

'Such a good boy….’


Bim averted his gaze from Dark’s tease as he went silent, only to gasp as he felt something being wrapped round his wrists….binding them. Bim looked briefly…it was the tie. Dark affixed Bim’s wrists comfortably, before pushing them up and tying them to the headboard. He yanked them as he smirked at Bim teasingly.

'Those won’t be coming down any time soon…’

Dark snickered at the mix of shock and joy in Bim’s expression as he shuffled off the bed and stood at the side, admiring his handiwork. He circled the bed for a moment, his heart was pounding as he spoke slowly.

'You know…you look stunning like this. All restrained and vulnerable…your willingness is simply exquisite.’

Bim was completely enticed and speechless as Dark came back to him, straddling his thighs as always and leaning down to his neck.

'Let’s get started…’

Dark started to carefully, and torturously, nuzzle into Bim’s neck as he let his fingertips rest in the hollows of his underarms. Bim fell into whimpering giggles almost immediatly as Dark teased his nerves.

'Dahahahark-’

'Hushhh now….you’ll get your chance to speak soon. After I’ve had my turn.’

Bim squeaked as Dark’s fingertips started to brush slowly, playing and wandering in his hollows as Dark grinned.


'So…you wanted to antagonise me did you?’

Dark smirked as Bim squirmed amidst his bonds, giggling rapidly with bright pink cheeks.

'Nohohoho-’

'Ohh yes. I know you Bim, you were just trying to goad me weren’t you?’

Dark’s fingers started to scratch faster and faster as Dark nibbled at Bim’s neck, making his stubble brush horribly.

'Nohohohoho Nohohohohoho!’

Bim was enraptured by desperate joy as he tugged at his arms, but they were well restrained; and the reality of it crashed down on Bim as Dark dug into his underarms.

'NAHAHAHAHA DAHAHAHAHARK!’

Dark chuckled gleefully as he let his fingers dance, sighing with relaxed joy as Bim’s chest shook and jittered. Bim’s mouth was grinning madly as Dark mumbled again.

'Why do you protest? I know that you just adore this….’

Dark’s fingers moved down to rub his ribcage before he vibrated the pads of his fingers roughly, Bim bucked and cackled as his words spewed out of him.

'THAHAHAHAT’S NAHAHAHAT TRUHUHUHUE!’


Dark scribbled over his bones malevolently as he reared up away from Bim’s neck, and he felt his heart jump at Bim’s intense, flustered nature; to think this was only the start too.

'Deny it all you want….I will always know the truth.’

Bim’s hair was heavily mussed and his spectacles were slanted over his face courtesy of his mirth, Dark reached forward and picked them up carefully. He folded them and set them down on the bedside table delicately as Bim watched him with a bashful, and yet grateful smile. Dark turned back to him, and his heavily lidded eyes reaffirmed Bim’s anticipation as his fingers stroked torturously over his sides.

'Ahahahaha frihihick!’

Bim giggles were bubbly as Dark smirked again.

'Too ticklish to handle even the lightest of touches….’

Bim squealed as Dark’s fingertips fluttered across his tummy, he tried to hide his burning face in the crook of his elbow…but Dark wasn’t going to have that. Bim gasped as a hand cupped his face and forced him to look straight ahead, straight into Dark’s eyes.

'I expect you to look at me when I’m talking to you.’

Bim yelped and cackled as both of Dark’s hands suddenly dug into and scribbled over his ticklish tummy, Dark’s eyes were gleaming mischievously as Bim’s words flowed out like an estuary.

'NAHAHAHA IHIHIHIHI’M SAHAHAHAHARRY!’

Dark hummed with satisfaction as he started flicking and scratching Bim’s waistline, relishing in his wild bucking and screeching.

'Oh not yet you’re not, but you will be…’


Dark chuckled at Bim’s almost violent shiver at his words, he paused his torment as he reached over to the small drawer in the bedside table. From it, he removed and teasingly twirled a familiar little thing. A jet black, stiff feather. Bim gasped at the sight of it, which made Dark grin ferally.

'Oh yes, I know how you especially love this little tool.’

Bim squeaked when he flicked it under his chin playfully, Bim’s eyes shot between it and his belly; but that wasn’t the feather’s destination…not today at least. Bim watched confusedly as Dark moved away from him, but then shuddered and tensed in realisation as Dark perched on his ankles.

'Nohohononono dohon’t!’

Dark sneered as he looked down at Bim’s socked feet, ever such ticklish things they were. He peeled Bim’s socks off as he gazed at his victim in his nervous state, tutting with a grin.

'Is someone beginning to regret their actions now?’

Bim nibbled his lip harshly as Dark lowered the feather, and let it drag down his left sole. Oh shit.

'NOHOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEHEASE!’

Bim snorted and laughed as Dark let the feather work its soft fibres up and down Bim’s soles, alternating over each foot so as to keep Bim guessing.

'Awww tickle tickle tickle….’

Bim wailed at Dark’s relentless teasing as the feather flicked and fluttered over his arches, ironically making him arch his back as he tugged at his legs fruitlessly.

'IHIHIHIHIT’S SOHOHOHO BAHAHAHAD!’

Dark’s grin was maniacal as he used his fingers to hold Bim’s toes back, a strangled noise came from said man’s throat as the feather sawed under his toes.

'It’s just how you like it then.’


Dark was smirking heavily, mostly from his own rampaging joy at what he was doing to Bim. There were no words to describe how happy it made him, or how much of an adrenaline rush it provided him with to hear Bim’s desperation.

'NAHAHAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!PLEHEHEHEHEASE!’

Dark hummed as a few tears slipped down Bim’s cheeks, he withdrew his soft utensil and stowed it in a pocket as Bim’s breath shattered from him. The man was in a daze as Dark crawled up to him, and for a moment Bim didn’t register what happened next. He soon realised however, that Dark’s thumb was wiping his tears away; as well as lingering over his cheekbone.

Soon enough, Dark’s lips were on his. It was brief, experimental. Bim blinked a few times as Dark’s rusty irises gazed at him, as if asking for permission; he smiled gently and leant up to grant it. Dark hummed happily as he traced Bim’s cheek with his hand absently, almost completely losing himself in the pure and utter bliss of everything. Soon they parted however, Dark bore a gentle smile as he looked over Bim’s dazed joy.

'You look lovely when you’re all flustered and breathless.’

Bim gasped and blushed heavily at the bold compliment, he was still trying to recover from the kiss dammit! Well….at least he knew what that special bond was between them, and he certainly wasn’t disappointed. Dark grinned as he started distributing little pecked kisses over Bim’s chest, moving down to his tummy slowly.

'Thahat feels reheally nihice…’

Dark blinked a few times as he looked up, and felt himself smile at Bim’s joyous expression. Bim hummed, giggling as Dark kissed in a careful fashion over Bim’s belly; relishing in Bim’s enjoyment.

'Does it indeed? Hmmm….well how about this?’

Dark smirked as he suddenly started to nibble and nip harshly at Bim’s skin, causing him to cry out and squeal in surprised desperation.

'NOHO WAHAHAIT WAHAHAHAIT!!’

Dark chuckled as he sneered malevolently.

'You didn’t think this was over did you? You little naïve thing…’


Bim flushed and screeched rapidly as Dark tormented his tummy with his mouth, before he then started squeezing and pinching at his thighs. Bim was in glorious hysteria.

'NAHAHAHAHAHA FAHAHAHAHAHA!!!’

Bim’s light jogging pants offered no protection as Dark tormented him, digging into the muscled flesh as he blew ravenous rasperries over his navel. Bim’s mind was in another dimension, Dark’s touch was all he could feel…he wondered whether it would ever stop.

'NAHAHAHAHAHA PLEHEHEHEHEA!!!’

Dark growled as he spoke, his own breathing was raw with his own euphoria.

'Now then, I think I deserve an apology. For your incessant goading and tempting….’

Bim screamed and wailed as Dark blew and bit across his delicate waistline, Bim could only shake and babble madly.

'SOHOHOHOHORRY IHIHIHIHIM SAHAHAHAHA-’

Bim could speak no longer. His face was soaked with tears and his very bones seemed to ache and numb, Dark stopped. What…did you think he’d continue? Of course not, Dark knew when to stop and where the boundaries lay; which is always the most important thing. Bim was staring at the ceiling with glazed eyes as Dark moved to wipe his cheeks.

'I’m so-I…I-’

'Shhhhh….take your time.’

Bim breathed deep and slow, he started flicking his eyes around a little and almost jumped at the sight of Dark looking down at him. His gaze was gentle, and he had a light smile on his lips as his eyes shone with adoration.

'I’m sorry I took your….uhm…’

Bim trailed off as Dark’s smile grew, he tilted his head as his thumb trailed over Bim’s cheek.

'Yes?’

Bim’s flushed darkened as he smiled nervously.

'I’m sorry I took your tie.’

He whispered as his eyes fluttered to meet with Dark’s, the owner of which leant forward with a chuckle as he pecked his forehead.

'It’s quite alright, I’m actually rather impressed…’

Bim gasped as he felt his wrists being unbound, Dark’s fingertips trailed over his wrists as he sat up. Bim looked up at him with light confusion.

'Impressed?’

Dark grinned and hummed in confirmation as he used his arms to bring Bim closer, Bim looked up at him as he leant his head against his shoulder.

'You were bold enough to ask for what you wanted, it may have been indirect and…rather risky on your part….’

Bim giggled gently as Dark sent him a light smirk, he licked his lips before continuing.

'But you’ve nevertheless overcome something, and I am proud of you for it.’

Bim smiled so wide that the sun itself would diminish in respect for it, and Dark didn’t bother holding himself back any longer; he kissed Bim passionately. Bim responded with just as much fire and joy as they held each other so close and so tight, that they might as well have been one. Or at least, there was a hell of a bond.

done….wow there was a lot more profound shit in here than i planned but what can ya do 😂 let me know what ya think, luv yous xx

//ok but i think a Larry/Miles fusion would be the funniest thing ever because he’d be the most inexplicably charismatic guy 

like Edgeworth has his odd allure to every lady on god’s green earth (and a fair amount of lads as well) and Larry actually seems to have skill with women (managing to pick them up anyway) and people in general. 

so like they join forces to become this monstrosity of suavity and persuasion (though he gets into internal arguments about whether to use this power for police work or to finally score the girl of his dreams and subsequently splits apart)

oh but downside there’s like 2x the self-loathing 

something about nasal spray

yeah i can’t think of a title for this lmao

self ship fanfiction?? really?? wowie wowie

ah anyway, this ended up being a bit longer than i wanted, but i’m still kinda sorta proud of it seeing as i haven’t finished a story in like,,,ever. this is also the first time i post my writing so yay for me i guess

i also finished it in like three days so that’s pretty cool, sorry if it’s a little rushed at the end but i still feel kinda happy with this (i also wanted to add another flashback between the two last pieces but it was already getting so long)

also sorry if something looks/sounds weird, english isn’t my first language!! also sorry if any of the characters seem ooc or smth idk im apologizing way too much wtf

alright enough of that. earnest/milliz, earnest’s p.o.v. things in italics = some sort of flashback thing

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“Place people in sight of the pyramids of Egypt, and they will tell you, ‘Here has passed a grand and barbarous civilisation.’ Place them in sight of the Grecian statues and temples, and they will tell you, ‘Here has passed a graceful, ephemeral, and brilliant civilisation.’ Place them in sight of a Roman monument, and they will tell you, ‘Here has passed a great people.’ Place them in sight of a cathedral, and on beholding such majesty united to such beauty, such grandeur to such taste, such grace to such delicacy, such severe unity to such rich variety, such measure to such boldness, such heaviness in the stones, with such suavity in their outlines, and such wonderful harmony between silence and light, shade and colour, they will tell you, ‘Here has passed the greatest people of history, and the most astounding of human civilisations: that people must have taken grandeur from the Egyptian, brilliancy from the Greek, strength from the Roman, and, beyond the strength, the brilliancy, and grandeur, something more valuable than grandeur, strength, and brilliancy—immortality and perfection.’”
— Juan Donoso Cortés