Results of the poll are in! Thanks so much to everyone who participated! <3
The next sandwich I’ll be drawing is the “Sadist sandwich,” alternatively “Demon Lord sandwich,” consisting Victor x Yuuri x Phichit ;D It’ll be in the same style as the Russian sandwich because I’m aiming to create a sandwich set ^v^)b
I’ll likely hold another poll once I’ve started that one! I had a lot of fun and felt it was pretty successful, and it was nice being able to promote one of my less visible social medias ^ ^ If you so feel like it, check it out and participate in the next one!
(part one here) (frankly you people frighten me) (@edielovespie demanded more)
TED: And we’re back for the entree round. Please open your baskets. You must construct an unforgettable entree using live monarch butterflies, chocolate sandwich cookies, vegan tenderloin, and hubcap. You have thirty minutes. Clock starts now.
MADAGASCAR: The judges were really nice to me in spite of the blood in the first round, so I need to step it up if I want to continue. I get the cream filling out of the cookies and put the cookie part aside for a crostini later.
ANGELA: The tenderloin tastes kind of like pork, so I get some fish sauce and oranges and cornstarch from the pantry to get it coated for an Asian-inspired Kung Pao technique.
JUDGE AARON: Now, the real challenge in this basket are those live butterflies. They are poisonous in every way, especially the wings, which are brightly-colored as nature’s warning sign.
JUDGE SCOTT: I was thinking the hard part would be the cookies, it’s got that double sweetness that has to be balanced just right in a dish containing tenderloin of vegan.
BILL: I overhear the judges talking about butterfly wings, so I spread them on top of my tenderloin like a puff pastry. Gonna make a Wellington. We do that a lot at my restaurant, though honestly I never thought to put it with a hubcab.
TED: Fifteen minutes remaining.
ANGELA: I’m hacking at the hubcap with my carving knife, but I just can’t seem to crack it open. I know the center of these things is a rich, creamy sort of muscle like a scallop, and I’m hoping to use it like a surf-n-turf pairing.
ANGELA: I look over and I see that the fryer wasn’t even turned on! My cutlets are ruined, and I’m so short on time I can’t start over. I throw the bits onto the grill and hope the’ll cook in time.
MADAGASCAR: I grate some of the hubcap into the sauce to give it some brightness. It’s turning this really shiny metallic grey, not very appetizing. Meanwhile, my spring rolls are ready to roll up but these aren’t the kind of wrappers I’m used to. I think they’re made of, like, rice or something?
BILL: I’m watching the time just slip away, and I hope my Wellington isn’t overdone. They really didn’t give us a lot of tenderloin for this round. (laughs) Maybe they’re all from the same vegan? (laughing stops, sudden realization dawns)
TED: And this is your last minute! Finish what you can and get it one the plate!
(small fire erupts behind Angela)
MADAGASCAR: MY COOKIES!
TED: And five (Madagascar throwing spring rolls onto a square dish) four (Bill frantically just pulling the tenderloin out of the oven) three (Angela drops one of her cutlets on the floor, swears) two (Bill delicately spooning something wet and pearly onto the plate) one, please step back. (Madagascar throws both hands in the air)
ANGELA: This is probably not my best work, but it’s so important that I make my parents proud, it has to be good enough.
MADAGASCAR: I’m looking at the other dishes and it’s pretty clear nobody knew what to do with a hubcap.
BILL: (says nothing, frowning with growing concern at the bloodied paper that held the vegan tenderloin)
TED: Chef Bill, please describe what you made.
BILL: Um…Well it’s monarch-wrapped tenderloin in the Wellington style, with a sandwich cookie sauce and served in a hubcap. I’ve never worked with imitation meat before, haha.
JUDGE AARON: Imitation?
JUDGE SCOTT: I like that you used the cookies as a chocolaty sauce, it sort of lends a mole flavor to things, or would if you had seasoned it differently. The butterflies add a lot of bitterness, though that might be the poison starting to wreck my body.
JUDGE ALEX: Mine’s a little undercooked? But I like the chocolate as well, inspired.
TED: Chef Madagascar.
MADAGASCAR: Before you I have a vegan tenderloin spring roll, with a pickled arugula and butterfly salad and a chocolate hubcap dipping sauce.
JUDGE AARON: There are so many flavors here.
JUDGE ALEX: The butterflies add a nice crunch, I like that you pickled them and really used their toxicity to your advantage, but I kind of think this isn’t enough to call an entree. It’s more of an appetizer.
TED: And finally, chef Angela.
ANGELA: I’ve made for you an oil-braised and grilled tenderloin, with a ginger hubcap cream sauce and a red wine chocolate cookie crumble.
JUDGE SCOTT: You’re the only one who used the inner muscle of the hubcap. This is the most perfectly cooked hubcap I’ve ever had, but (pokes at it with fork) I just don’t like the seasonings.
TED: Angela, what would winning mean to you?
ANGELA: My parents made it pretty clear they didn’t approve of my love of cooking when I came out to them as a chef when I was thirteen. Until that time we had been a strictly food-free household. I guess winning would prove to them that I’m doing what I truly love.
TED: Chefs, please give us a minute to deliberate. (chefs file out of the kitchen)
All I can think of is that creamy seafood center.
(In the sweat room)
BILL: Does anyone else think the vegan tenderloin wasn’t actually for vegans but made of vegan?
ANGELA: Cow is vegan.
BILL: Yeah but what happened to Gooseberry?
MADAGASCAR: I think it could go any way here. We all made pretty great-looking dishes.
MADAGASCAR: It’s going to be me. Bill’s freaking out and Angela’s a wuss.
BILL: I have to win this. Whatever I said before, now I have to just so I can go home and tell my wife I love her. I…don’t feel safe.
(the chefs reconvene in front of the judges)
(TED PULLS AWAY THE COVER TO REVEAL ANGELA’S DISH, MORE MUSIC)
TED: Chef Angela, you’ve been chopped. Be well.
BILL: Angela…I’m so sorry.
ANGELA: I know my parents are proud of me anyway. (leaves down the hall)
TED: Two chefs remaining! Who will take home the ten thousand dollar prize in the dessert round, and WHO (Bill sweating) WILL (Madagascar folds arms defiantly) BE (close up on exactly how much Bill is sweating) CHOPPED?
I work in an assembly-line style sandwich shop. The other day, somebody shat on the dining room floor WHILE STILL IN LINE ORDERING THEIR SANDWICH then paid, grabbed their food, and ran out before anyone noticed. Turns out this guy’s been banned from a few other fast food places in the area for doing the same thing. Fuck customers
i got some beautiful mantou (chinese steamed bread, it’s v fluffy and lightly sweet!) at the market yesterday.
halved, buttered, and thrown on the skillet…
and topped w cheddar, salami, and poppy seed dressing.
this sandwich was so unspeakably delicious i already feel like i need to make five more. the mantou was so tender, contrasting with the buttery crisp edges, and the western-style sandwich fillings worked surprisingly well. i wanna put some cucumber and maybe dill in the next one i make!