stupid-assumptions

  • so the first time Neil and Matt see each other in months is during Neil’s first year in the pro league
  • they call/text/skype/whatever, but they live so far away from each other and Neil was super busy with training
  • and also with snogging Andrew
  • but they have a game against each other
  • both teams walk out of their respective lockers and line up
  • the announcer starts with the names
  • and suddenly Neil Josten’s sprinting across the court
  • everyone’s thinking “oh no”, someone must have started a fight with this kid
  • but
  • he literally launches himself into the arms of the opposing team’s Matt Boyd
  • Matt catches him and spins him in a circle
  • it’s picture perfect
  • right before a match, with the audience and both teams staring, they hug it out
  • they’re clutching each other and Neil’s feet are dangling and inch off the floor
  • and then they just…let go.  
  • walk off to their respective teams like nothing happened
  • the press has a field day
  • someone instantly tracks down Dan Wilds in the crowd, asking dumb questions and making stupid assumptions about their relationship
  • she takes a page out of her baby striker’s book and roasts him
  • an entire period consisted of Matt and Neil being marks, the two of them wrestling past each other playfully but being super aggressive to anyone on either team who hits the other
  • patting each other on the back every time a foul/fight happens and just talking about their lives in between
  • waving their arms and gesturing at each other from off court
  • after the game Kevin climbs out of the audience and starts yelling at the two of them
  • and Matt just shoves his face away and asks Neil about how the cats are doing
I Got Caught - Storytime

It finally happened. I’ve been lifting on and off for 15 years and I finally got caught. I was sloppy and made stupid assumptions.

I’m going on my honeymoon soon, and I really wanted some pretty dresses, so I decided to hit up Nordstrom Rack. I had never lifted there before, but I figured I knew what I was doing (FIRST STUPID ASSUMPTION). I grabbed like 10 dresses to try on and I found a couple that I liked. I gave the rejects back to the attendant and headed to what I thought was a blind spot in shoes. As I was getting ready to conceal, I noticed a camera all the way across the store but I thought it was too far away to see what I was doing (SECOND STUPID ASSUMPTION). I put the dresses in my purse, stashed the hangers behind some shoe boxes, and grabbed something cheap to buy so I can get out. The SA who cashed me out didn’t act weird at all but I did notice a guy watching me. I thought maybe he was just checking me out (THIRD STUPID ASSUMPTION). I left the store and went into another store, at which point the guy who I thought was checking me out approached me with two other people, identified himself as LP, and asked for the dresses back. I complied instantly, and he asked me to follow him to his office. He took down all my information, took my picture, and had me sign a confession and a trespassing notice. I’m banned from all Nordstrom stores, including online, for 2 years. They’re going to send me paperwork in the mail, and I’ll probably get a fine.

After I left, I went into a few other stores to try and calm down, but I noticed this one girl kept showing up. She didn’t have a coat or purse, and she was everywhere. She was definitely plainclothes LP. I faked a phone call and left the mall.

I’m so incredibly mad at myself. I fucked up big time and I’m insanely lucky it wasn’t worse. I still can’t believe I was so stupid. Don’t be like me. Exercise extreme caution. Stay aware at all times. NEVER CONCEAL ON CAMERA I DON’T CARE HOW FAR AWAY IT IS! Wtf is wrong with me why did I do that?

What is this obsession with the top/bottom thing ?

Why on hell would every f/f ships ever be composed of immutable sexual roles ?

I can understand that some women like having defined sexual roles and that’s totally ok, but damn. This shit is going way too far. It’s like you’re all implying one has to always be the top, one has to always be the bottom… ? Why on hell would they not have the pleasure to switch, according to the situation, they desires, ect ? And moreover (and this is the worst thing about it), why do you associate top with “dominant” (and often assertive - or other traits considered as masculine) and bottom with “dominated” (and often soft personnalities - or other traits considered as feminine) ? This is sexist as hell. Why do you have to systematically, almost automatically, assume defined and immutable sexual roles based on stupid assumptions made on the basis of gender’s role adhesion ?

And before some smartass use the “you’re not LGBT+, you therefore don’t have the right to speak about that” card, I am a woman who only loves women and I am just trying to understand this trend on Tumblr because trust me, this is starting to get me worried as hell. If LGBT+ communities start to value defined sexual roles and to promote them as “THE gay way of having sexual relationships” (instead of promoting the liberty of roles and the conscious about how our behaviors, desires, change according to the person, the relationship we have with them, the context, our emotional state, ect.), I find it really problematic for the youth mental (and sexual) health. This is basically putting them in boxes and keeping them there (especially since they’re so young here). Again, I can understand that some women like those defined roles, and I’m not judging them, everyone invest their sexuality in their own way. My problem come from how automatic thoses roles are used throughout f/f fandoms and what this reflect to the young about sexual relationships between two women. I wasn’t in one single fandom where the identity of the top and the bottom was not a huge discussion.

On Top of the World - A Jack Gilinsky Imagine (Requested)

Y/N POV

“Jack I’m over this conversation. You literally overreact to every single thing. You need to learn to stop being such a drama queen.” I yelled as I folded my arms across my chest.

“Sam was all over you though, that’s not okay.” Jack yelled back.

“He was just sitting next to me, are you seeing things because nothing fucking happened.” I said as I turned away from him and headed to bed, over Jack and his stupid assumptions.

A couple of hours later I stirred from my sleep as I felt a hand rub my back. I groaned not wanting to be woken up.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You’re right I was overreacting, I was just jealous.” Jack said as he continued rubbing my back.

“Good, you finally admitted it.” I huffed.

“You know no one else could make you feel like I do.” Jack said seductively.

“The way I touch you.” He said running his fingers down my legs and between my thighs.

“The way I kiss you.” He said kissing the side of my face.

“The way I lick you.” He whispered in my ear.

“Oh fuck it.” I said feeling so turned on.

Jack turned me on my back and crawled on top of me. As we made out, his hand rubbed between my thighs, already making me wet. I could feel how hard he was against my thigh.

Clothes came off, our bodies were sweaty and were wanting to become one.

Jacks lips met mine and our bodies moved in sync. The only reason he broke apart was to make sure he could put himself in.

Once he pushed into me, I forgot every reason as to why I was pissed off at him. He just felt so unbelievably amazing. His thrusts were strong until he was going to reach his peak. I swore each time we fucked, it was like clockwork, we always came at the same time.

After riding out our highs and feeling like we were on cloud nine, Jack laid next to me. I rested my head in the crook of his next like I always did. His arm draped over my body, bringing me closer to him. Even when we were simply cuddling it felt amazing. No matter how much he pissed me off, I could never forget the times like these where Jack made me feel like I was on top of the world.

“I love you Jack.” I whispered feeling my tiredness catch up to me.

“I love you more Y/N and I promise not to jump to conclusions next time.” Jack said with a tiny laugh.

“You better not, or I’m dumping your gorgeous ass.” I joked.

“You and I both know that’s not true, because let’s face it the sex is too great between us.” Jack smirked.

6

I feel completely in control of everything in my life. How dare you make these stupid assumptions about me. You don’t know anything about me. I work hard. I take care of my son. I know what’s right and what’s wrong for him. No one pushes me around. I control my own life. I’m in total control of my own life. I have a lot going on.

I have a lot to deal with, but I do not feel powerless. Ever!

Today at school...
  • College peer: Hey, what's up?
  • Me (gesturing to my laptop): Both of my crushes are chatting with me at once, and it's kind of awesome.
  • CP: Both?
  • Me: *grin/nod*
  • CP: What do you mean both? I thought you have a boyfriend.
  • Me: I'm polyamorous.
  • CP: What does that mean?
  • Me: It means I'm not limited to just one romantic partner.
  • CP: Huh. I never thought *you* would be *that* sort of person.
  • Me: What exactly do you mean, "*that* sort of person?"
  • CP: I just always pictured you to, you know, fall in love with a man and get married and maybe go on romantic adventures with him.
  • Me: *slow jaw drop*
  • CP: *lists off more baseless and extremely personal assumptions*
  • Me:
  • CP:
  • Me: I don't have the emotional energy to deal with this right now. I'm going to go.
  • Me: *gathers my school things and leaves*
  • CP (calling out behind me): I'm sorry if I offended you.
  • Me: Thank you.
  • Me: *texts each person a brief apology for not saying goodbye*
  • One of my crushes: *texts back support*
  • Me: *feels the glow rekindle and evaporate the damp spots left by my peer's dousing*
Annoying Day at Work

Lady: I need to get a cake.

Me: When do you need it?

Lady: uhhh, now?

Me:… uh, yeah, no.

Lady: Why not?

Me: I’m not the decorator.

Lady: It doesn’t look that hard.

Me: I don’t have the code to print out the image, but our decorator can make the cake for you in the morning.

Lady: Okay, I need it by 8:30 am.

Me: That’s not going to be possible, she doesn’t get here until 9am.

Lady: Fine, then like, 9:15am?

Me: More like 10am, since she will need to get everything together to make your cake.

Lady: *stare*… .  *exasperated sigh*

… .

WHAT THE FUCK LADY. YOU SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED YOUR 3 YEAR OLD GRANDCHILD’S BIRTHDAY. NOT MY FAULT DUMBASS.

External image

I feel like I can only really play around or mess about as a Nigerian. I mean, my Nigerian-ness is the backbone of my jokes and bants. That’s why most (not Nigerians) see me as serious at the surface level. Assumptions are never good, though. I don’t really make assumptions about people when I first meet them, partly because I’m used to people making such blatantly off assumptions about me.

I used to be kinda vexed that people kept calling me serious, cuz it’s like, YOU DON’T KNOW MEE!!! YOU’RE NOT CORRECT!!! YOU GET NO SENSE!! If you really knew me, you know that I am someone that is forever laughing, at inappropriate times even! Like come on, son. Like, honestly, if you see me with bare Africans, or even one African, I’m more than likely laughing my head off, you know.

But now, it’s like, I don’t even care that much, cuz I know that it’s cuz these people no be omo Naija, omo Ghana, or omo Africa, lol. 

Plus my resting face does not help matters, I look unfriendly. I know this, and I’ve confirmed it with multiple people, but hey, what can I do? Be forever smiling?? Fun kini? I can never do that…I will smile when I greet you, I will smile when I’m talking with you, I will smile when I say goodbye, finish. 

PSA

•Don’t assume someone is straight just because they’re dating the opposite gender
•Don’t assume someone is gay/lesbian just because they are dating someone of the same gender
•Don’t assume someone is repulsed by or incapable of sex just because they’re asexual

Don’t make stupid assumptions about one’s sexuality, or lack thereof. Stop “forgetting” that bi, pan, asexual and others exist.

I remember I posted a picture a few months ago of the two boy mannequins and suggested that maybe Jason has the twin and then an anon basically attacked me for my stupid assumptions, told me to just delete my blog, and then I got insecure and deleted the post. Well now I’d just like to say a big FUCK YOU to that anon.

4

BodPosFeb Day 7 - A quote on your mirror that makes you feel confident.

“She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it.”

The above post is about Granny Weatherwax, a witch in the world of Discworld.

Not only do I love the psychology and mental fortitude of Terry Pratchett’s witches, but the diversity of female characters than they include. In particular I am fond of Nanny Ogg, who may appear to be a foolish old woman to anyone stupid enough to make assumptions, but it perhaps the most powerful witch on the disc. (In large part because she’s the only one who can survive Esmerelda Weatherwax for an extended period of time). At the bottom, she’s pictured in her youth on the left, and more ‘chronologically experienced’ on the right. She’s had four husbands and a plethora of children, and extremely practical, but always up for a laugh.

“Do these women really want to be with their husband one day and he can just look at them while they’re naked without feeling anything? It’ll be so common to see boobs and everything that men will become desensitized.”

This comment is so dumb as to hurt me physically. Heteronormativity and other stupid assumptions aside, if seeing a lot of breasts hurts your ability to get aroused, that’s nobody’s problem but your own, @minorflaw.