stupid things heard at

Andrew Minyard’s Life Advice and Other Wisdom

  1. Flattery is uninteresting and gets you nowhere.
  2. Innocent until proven guilty fails on an Exy court.
  3. You’ll start having more success when you ask for things you can actually have.
  4. A man can only have so many issues.
  5. You can’t cut down someone who’s already in the gutter. You just waste your time and mine.
  6. Don’t have to anything.
  7. Reap what you sow or burn the field down, the choice is yours.
  8. What people want to think of me is not my problem.
  9. Revenge is a motivator only for the weak-willed.
  10. You cannot barter away the same thing twice.
  11. Children should be seen and not heard.
  12. Don’t say stupid things.
  13. Everything ends.
  14. Survival tip: no one likes a smart mouth.
what really happened during marauders era
  • Remus: PADFOOT WHAT THE HELL
  • Remus: PRONGS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
  • Remus: I DIDN'T ASK YOUR OPINION, SHUT UP
  • Remus: I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I STILL HANG OUT WITH YOU ASSHOLES
  • Remus: WHAT.THE.FUCK
  • Remus: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS
  • Remus: OH
  • Remus: YOU DID IT
  • Remus: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU
  • Remus: WHY ON EARTH-
  • Remus: DID YOU JUST-
  • Remus: I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING MURDERING YOU
  • Remus: YOU DID WHAT-
  • Remus: JAMES? SIRIUS? I DON'T KNOW THESE ASSHOLES
  • Remus: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU ABSOLUTE TOSSER
  • Remus: YOU KNOW WHAT? DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT
  • Remus: I'M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO COVER YOUR ASS THIS TIME
  • Remus: I DON'T KNOW WHY I STILL BOTHER WITH THIS SHIT
  • Remus: THIS IS THE MOST STUPID THING I'VE EVER HEARD
  • Remus: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS AGAIN
  • Remus: NO.FUCKING.WAY
  • Remus: NO
  • Remus: N-
  • Remus:
  • Remus: FINE!
  • Remus: I hate you guys so much.
  • James: He loves us.
  • Sirius: Definitely.
  • Peter: So adorable.
Dumb things said by 5th period math class

A compilation of stupid things I heard whilst in my math class last year.

“How’d you burn your eye?”
“Cleaning acid.”
“How do you clean acid.”

“Is it bad if I punch my grandma when I say slug bug?”

“Are you sure you’re not crazy and making up your family in your mind?”

“Did you just break your neck?”
“I wish.”

“There is no 21 wait I found it.”

“Does she have moodswings like she’s on her ACT period?”

“Have you ever stubbed your toe and got goosebumps?”

“What time is 2:15?”

“My tongues burnt.”

“Isn’t forgery the amount of days you can miss school?”

“What did you say? Everyone makes you feel like butter?” (Actually said everyone makes you fill out your planner)

“Dane how come you don’t call me on my shell phone anymore?”
“My phones broke.”

“Hey is an elbow like a bone? Or is it cartilage?”

“You can’t come to school you’re too ugly.”

“How do you make a dog stop humping stuff?”

“Do they have promethean boards in Mexico?”

“Where are you going? (College) farmers school?”

“My math teacher gave me his phone number.”

“In Florida do you use an alligator to catch another alligator?”

“Do animals get their periods?”

“What is bunk? Is that like a bunk bed?”

“There’s a spaceship outside the door.”

“I skipped number two of them okay?”

Girl: “no he annoys me”
Teacher: “he annoys everyone.”
Boy: “why do you think my dad beats me.”
Teacher: “you can’t say that then it’s my job to report it.”
Boy: “that’s okay take my dad away.”

“#ReadyForTheHolocaust”

“I have to fish this weekend I can’t have extra homework.”

“What if I teach it (panda) to eat tacos?”

“And it (panda) will have the munchies.”

This has to be the most childish and most irrational fandom ever. I started watching the show a few episodes into the second season and I was really enjoying it, until I came here. What’s with the Mon-El hate, seriously? Most of the reasons I’ve seen for hating him are absolutely irrelevant and calling him abusive has to be the most stupid and outrageous thing I’ve heard. It makes me think they were written by crazy hormonal teenagers who have never been in a real relationship mixed with petulant kids who didn’t get what they wanted. Get fucking over it.

After someone suggested I watch the first season of Supergirl to realise Kara is better with Winn, or James or even Lena, I did. Well sorry, but I just don’t see the chemistry there. Winn and James have more chemistry together than they ever will with Kara. Why aren’t you shipping them instead?

As many people pointed out Mon-El was basically raised to be an ass on Daxam and he’s changing and making efforts just for Kara. So if you still find something wrong with a man who’s trying to be better for the person he loves, then you’re freaking delusional. Now let me enjoy my show, go take some Prozac to get over it and go study.


Originally posted by leeminlimer

anonymous asked:

haha bitter zayn stan 😂 perrie makes zayn relevant. His two singles are about her hahaaa 😂

Perald makes Zayn relevant? Are you serious? Omg thank you for making me laugh so much. I wasn’t in a good mood but your message really cracked me up. I still can’t stop laughing. His singles were for her? Lol you don’t even understand what he was saying in those songs if you assume its for her 😂😂😂 You actually mean the only male to debut at no 1 who has 4x platinum certifications and gold certifications, a bunch of magazine covers and fashion deals and a number of people lobbying after him to model their stuff or just give them 2 secs of promo is relevant because of a girl group member who is a nobody in relatively the entire world except the UK (even there she’s known as Zayn’s ex fiance) ??? Thanks for the laugh anon 😂😂😂 Fun facts- Zayn made Petrie and Little Kids relevant not her so hop off @zavanrise look here 😂😂😂



AOMG-CEO’S reaction to you wanting to break up during a fight

Simon: “What the fuck did you just say?”

Simon would stop in the middle of his sentence, unsure if he heard you correctly. You were arguing over something stupid, things had escalated, though. You couldn’t handle the screaming and suddenly you thought about what things would be like after you got married. Would you fight the way you were now?

“Let’s call the engagement off”

He would be angry but most of all really hurt. He would most likely walk away and cool off for a few hours. Later he would try to talk things out.

Originally posted by jayparkfanboy

Jay: For days he would get home and not even five minutes later you guys would be in a screaming match trying to out-scream the other. The argument would be the usual “you’re never home” followed by “pay more attention to me”. This day, in particular, he would be sick of the fight and the same litany.

“Can you just fucking drop it? You’ve been such a fucking bitch all week.”

“You know what Jay? Fuck you. Fuck this. Fuck us. I’m done”

He would let you walk away, not really processing what the last part of your argument meant for your relationship. 

Originally posted by jaywalkerzz

-Admin Jen

Sorry guys, I was going to do everyone but then I realized I only really keep up with Jay and Simon so I don’t know everyone else well enough to make reaction posts for them. Anyway, I hope you like this!

i never know how to write stuff like this so i just wing it. i always wing it tbh

gif credit

[ more ]

Keep reading

Ok, folks! Now that the cover of my FanFiction is finally done, I would like to tell you all (waiting for it) a few things about this story:

First thing first, remember guys that is a FICTION, everything that I wrote into it, it’s NOT CANON  in the actual REAL CARTOON, so don’t get upset if something doesn’t exactly works for your headcanon ^_^ Again: IT’S JUST A FANFICTION.

I’m putting my hands before me, because I know most of the fandoms can be very touchy about argouments and headcanons…and SU’s Fandom is not better then the others, unfortunatly.

I heard terrible things about it…and for actual stupidities.

Very disappointing.

Second, once the story will be out and you will be finally able to enjoy it (I hope ^^) DON’T BOTHER me about the fact that my OCs have similarities in common with the canon characters.


“Why PencilTree?” you might ask.
Well, dear followers, because IT’S INTENTIONAL!!! XD
I wrote this fict as a Tribute for the entire cartoon of Steven Universe, so I wanted to put a lill bit of each canon character to be visible into my OCs.
For example:

   -          BlueGold has a lot in common with Rose Quartz.

   -          The relationship between BlueGold and Opalite looks a lot like Ruby and Sapphire’s.

   -          Opalite has similar powers then Lapis.

   -          Obsidian might remember a bit of Lapis too.

   -          GoldStone has something from Jasper

Ect. Ect…

It’s all intentional guys.

For the fact that BlueGold has things in common with Rose Quartz, please please PLEASE I don’t want you to think that I wanted my character to be better then her XD as this (again) is a FANFICTION and everything that’s wrote there, doesn’t exsist in the canon cartoon.

I hope that made things clear to most of you ^^


I didn’t mean to sound aggressive if that’s what you thought of me, just wanted to anticipate a few things and explain some stuff before I actually pubblish the story and MAYBE upset someone with things that arent real in the canon cartoon. ^^
Don’t get upset guys, again, it’s fiction.

ALSO, this story I wanted to write from a very long time now…as it’s very significative for me.
The title “The Soul Mates” and the subject the story tells about, weren’t choosed casually. It tells about what the real power of two soul mates can face, because nothing can separate two soul mates, not even time and space; the other part of soul will always be able to find or comunicate with the other, somehow…and believe me I know. J

Hope I didn’t bother you too much with those chats, but they were necessary. ^^
Stay tuned for the story, there will be illustrations on it too.

Thank you.

Art and characters are mine.
SU is Rebecca Sugar’s


Theme song of the story right here –> www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGKPJI…

Things I have actually heard fellow girls at my school say and my reaction:

“Feminism is unnecessary these days”

“Transwomen aren’t women”

“White women are just as oppressed as women of color”

“I support gay men but lesbians are gross”

“Girls who don’t shave are disgusting”

“I love Dan and Phil!!!”

xx // xx

Understanding Scorpio

Scorpios can be extremely off put by people displaying “neediness”, we see it as weak, especially if we are the one displaying the need.

However, we are extremely needy creatures, usually for power/control or love, sometimes both. When it is love, we need our significant other to need us the same way we need them. Our need is like a craving. We crave to understand, to know everything: your true character, your dreams, your fears, the things you burden yourself with, what you ate for breakfast, what stupid thing you heard walking down the street, etc. Scorpio, if open to love (many Scorpios, especially while young, ignore or “turn off” their emotions and may be quite resistant to emotion, especially love) views it as the ultimate commitment, the merging of two beings. As long as two people love each other and fulfill each other’s needs, they can accomplish anything, they are fearless when in love…but to be in love, they must feel needed, they must feel  wanted, they must feel loved -which, for Scorpio, is drastically different than being told you are loved.

i’m going to run down why i love this line so much

  1. wilson says a lot of stupid, corny, whiny and/or juvenile stuff. he is bored and under the impression that no one can hear him. because maxwell stranded him in the woods.
  2. maxwell could hear wilson saying stupid, corny, juvenile things. all along. 
  3. maxwell DID hear wilson saying stupid, corny, juvenile things. when you clicked on that ice and wilson said ‘ice to meet you’, maxwell heard that. when you saw your first pengulls and freaked out maxwell saw that. when you thought you could get away with smacking a frog just this once and fifty more frogs were offscreen just like always, maxwell saw that (hypothetically speaking)
  4. when you clicked on a maxwell statue or a pitchfork and wilson said something passive-aggressive about maxwell, maxwell heard that
  5. maxwell memorized things. maxwell remembers the stupid things your character said and did
  6. maxwell is out in the world because someone else is in his nightmare chair with the nightmare powers. who that is may vary, but on my current playthrough its wilson. wilson is in the nightmare chair. ergo
  7. WILSON CAN HEAR MAXWELL REPEATING THE SILLY THINGS WILSON SAID
  8. MAXWELL KNOWS WILSON IS IN THE CHAIR AND HE KNOWS WHAT THE CHAIR DOES
  9. MAXWELL KNOWS WILSON CAN HEAR HIM
  10. MAXWELL KNOWS WILSON CAN HEAR HIM MAKING DEMEANING COMMENTS ABOUT SILLY THINGS WILSON SAID