stupid stupid human

theauraking  asked:

So it seems Clint and Steve both seem to be a bit lacking? Yeah lacking in intelligence. But who's done the dumbest thing since being thawed out

i am not even gonna consider this question, because if i start thinking through all the stupid nonsense clint and steve get up to i will hurl myself out a window purely in self defense. 

none of the avengers should ever spend time together. separately, theyre reckless to the point of idiocy; together, they fight crime. and cause massive amounts of property damage, and have reduced several psychologists to tears. it wasnt pretty.

but you know, fate of the world and all that nonsense. 

(to be fair to them, none of the avengers are stupid. they just get sucked into each others bad-decision vortexes)

in the interests of preserving that most blessed of coping methods, denial, i will only consider what steve and clint have gotten up to in the past two weeks. 

which still gives me a horrifying wealth of options.

dumbest thing steve has done? accepted clint’s challenge to a spicy-food-eating contest. captain triangle torso has enhanced senses. he takes his NORMAL food underseasoned, because his taste buds are extra-sensitive, and he took a spiciness challenge from clint, who spent his developmental years eating literally anything. last week i watched him pour pineapple juice into his hot chocolate. it was terrifying. i have seen clint drench jalapenos in ghost pepper sauce and eat them.  i have seen him put chocolate on pizza. there is nothing that man will not eat. 

nothing.

steve got one bite in to one of clint’s ghost pepper chicken wings and his whole face swelled up and turned red. he kept eating. his eyes and nose were running. he got three bites in and was leaking from his whole face. he looked like he was gonna die. he drank a gallon of milk and was in bed for over a day. his fancy supermojo can fight off toxins but not ghost peppers, apparently. he said it was the most painful thing he’d ever felt, the supersoldier easy bake experience included. 

clint finished his bucket of ghost pepper hot wings and played mario kart for three hours. which is what he usually does on wednesdays. 

dumbest thing clint has done lately? “borrowed” natashas favorite dagger set. her vengence was swift, brutal, and left clint sans eyebrows and with tony’s goatee drawn in sharpie, refreshed nightly for a week. talk about shame.

she is a ruthless woman.

as to which of these was stupider? i honestly cant say, and thinking about it makes me regret so many decisions. 

so many. when did my life become this nonsense

Cursed child actors in TV shows

Just a little fun post J I was actually quite surprised by some of them as i always loved watching series like Doctor Who and Merlin and i watched these episodes so often and never realized the cursed child actors were in it!

1)      Alex Price (Draco Malfoy)

Alex has the biggest list of TV appearances and i’m still laughing that i’ve seen him so often on TV and never realized it was him!

a)      Merlin

You can see Alex in a beloved series of mine, Merlin. He is in season 2 episode 2 and plays a farmer called William , who has to take Athur’s place in a competition. It’s incredible how much he has changed since then

 

b)      Doctor Who

Alex is in one of the most loved British Television series, Doctor who. You can see him in season 5 episode 6 playing a vampire-like alien. A VERY ironic fact: He is in this together with Helen McCrory, who played Narcissa Malfoy in the movies and this makes a VERY funny mother-son dynamic in Doctor Who!

c)       Being Human

(Dance it Alex! I feel VERY sorry if anyone can’t take his Draco serious anymore xD)

If here are any Being human fans i don’t think i have to say more than „Gilbert fun“! In season  episode 3 he plays the „iconic“ and lovely character of a ghost called Gilbert.

 

d)      Penny dreadful

 In this rather dark TV series he played the second „creation“ of the iconic Dr. Frankenstein and he was SO adorable in this! (season  episode 1 and 2)

Alex was in a lot more TV shows like Casuality, Father Brown, Doctors etc.

 

2)      Noma Dumezweni

I was very surprised to see that my beloved Hermione actually was in a few TV series, especially in one of my favourites, Doctor Who!

She played Captain Eriso Magambo, a UNIT officer in Donna Noble’s parallel universe. You can see her in the episodes „Turn left“ and „Planet of the dead“.

Other TV shows she was in are Shameless, EastEnders etc.

 

3)      Anthony Boyle

Anthony really didn’t do a lot before cursed child, but i found one VERY interesting TV appearance! He actually was in Game of Thrones! You can see him as one of Ramsay’s guards in season 4 episode 6, although i REALLY wouldn’t watch it if you are a big Scorpius fan! It broke my heart seeing him getting killied

 

4)      Sam Clemmett

 He wasn’t in a lot of things i know either, but i found out that he was in the British television show The Musketeers, that i watched a few episodes of! You can see Sam in season 3 episode 1.

 

I’m sure there are some more, but these are the most striking to me as these are some of my favourite TV series.

rinse the blood off my space toga

“Can I see? Wait, there’s no shafts? it just.. grows in two colours?”
“Er. Not exactly.”
“The other humans’ plumage isn’t near this bright. Are you a born leader?”
“HAH. no.”
“It signifies caste, then? Or a mating display?!”
“Not even close. I went out and paid an artisan to apply a harsh chemical to rip out my natural colouration, then apply this artificial one.”
“That sounds.. unpleasant.”
“Yeah it burned like a <<dog?>>, my scalp was tender for days after.”
“If it doesn’t create any advantages, what’s the point?”
“Ah, it just looks <<rutting>> <<cold>>. What other reason do we need?”
“..humans are weird. .. .. .. do you think it would work on feathers?”

Humans Are Weird - Sarcasm

What if Aliens didn’t know what sarcasm is. Like sarcasm is different from person to person some people don’t use sarcasm and some have really dark sarcasm. Like would that confuses aliens.

Sarcasm Ex.

Human Vlare: Ugh I have to go clean the dragon litter

Human Kit: that’s sounds so fun

Alien: You like cleaning?

Human Kit: No I was being sarcastic

Alien: Sarcastic?

Human Kit: it’s when you say something but you don’t mean it so I say sounds fun in a sarcastic voice and I really am joking"

Alien: …

Alien: add that humans change voice to tell lies to one another to the manual