stupid response

reblog if ur tired of ryuji sakamoto being painted as the worst character because of his words to morgana

asthspace  asked:

If EBT could be used to buy anything, then what is the incentive to buy food with your own money? Why should the tax payers have to pay for welfare receivers to get luxury food???

Many people do not know this about me, but I have been on Snap benefits. I lost a job in 2009, shortly after the Great Recession, and I had nothing. I had to wait in lines at a food bank to get two small grocery bags of canned food, some toilet paper and a bar of soap a week and I applied for and received SNAP benefits. 

Let me tell you, there was no luxurious eating. Unless, you think a diet of pasta, rice, beans, canned veggies, canned tuna, peanut butter and bread IS opulent. If you think going down to the Wonder Bread factory and buying their expired products is lavish, being on SNAP is the life for you.

But even if I did buy as much expensive food as I could, who cares what anyone else eats? It is a set amount of money each month. If someone wants to blow all $126 they get a month on one meal, who am I to say no. They are the ones that are going to have to figure out how to eat for the remaining 89 meals that month.

Should we require that “Welfare” Recipients eat garbage so that you can feel better than them?

On average they get about $1.40 a meal in SNAP benefits. Basically, we are requiring them to eat garbage, but still, that seems like too much for you. 

- @theliberaltony


Just to stave off the stupid responses a bit: 

  • I spent less than a year on SNAP. 
  • Yes, I have a job now.

For the football fandom: Name one (active) player you wish you could bring back to your favorite club 🤔

3

Mon-El Appreciation Week: Day 1 ♡ the moment you fell in love with Mon-El  → Survivors (2x04)

Cheeky Bunny

 Hybrid!AU: Leopard!OC x Bunny!Kook
Length: 4.1K (lol is this even a drabble anymore?)
Genre: The Most Fluffy Fluff
Type: Disney Drabbles ☞REQUEST HERE
Recommended OST: (x)
Request By: @/kimtrain:“Don’t underestimate the importance of body language.“ love youuuu MJ so so much 
(a/n): IDK OKAY? I REALLY IDK WHY IM SO SOFT. But anyways I this is so frickin fluffy idk anymore (read: I screamed a lot and wanted to smash my keyboard) and any comments are always appreciated, my inbox is open for you lovelies. 

Summary: You’re a predator and he’s the prey, so what happens when the tables finally turn for our dearest bunny? 

Originally posted by jung-koook

“(y/n), you’re fucking drooling.” Taehyung lands a particularly hard pat against the nape of your neck, immediately eliciting a hiss from you and a chuckle from him; your attention now regrettably snagged away from your little crush.

“You brat, that’s not a good enough reason to grab my nape,” you hiss, your hands rubbing against the tender flesh. As felines, the neck area is off limits, it’s too intimate and oddly sensitive due to the period where parents would grab their litter my the scruff. So you find it absolutely necessary to repay to favor with a hard smack against his abdomen with your tail, causing a growl to bubble inside the lion-hybrid’s chest, his sunny demeanor evaporating and lips peeling back in act of dominance.

“Oh hush,” you dismiss, rolling your eyes and petting the thick fur of your tail, “You’re honestly acting childish, what are you? A big domestic cat?”

“Just because you are naturally a solitary breed does not excuse you from social norms, (y/n).” Taehyung firmly states, his ears twitching in his messy mop of golden hair. An involuntarily side effect of annoyance.

Well shit, you gone and pissed him off. Again.

Keep reading

stand up • monty de la cruz

a/n: i think that this is one of my fav requests bc i wrote the character based off of me a lil bit hehe. also, thanks for 700! 💓

warnings: swearing, smut, you already know what it is, my old sinner ways

you walk into school to be greeted by a chorus of “oh’s.” this wasn’t an unusual occurrence at liberty high, but it was an annoying one because every time it happened, you knew that there was some undeserving victim at the root of it all.

you sigh deeply and walk towards your locker, but you can’t quite make it all the way there because the hall is blocked by the formed circle. in the center, you see montgomery de la cruz taunting some freshman you’ve never seen before. the boy looks absolutely terrified, while monty chuckles. it isn’t long before monty has him by his collar and pushed up against the wall. monty is about to throw a punch, and you speak up, pushing yourself toward the center of the circle.

“monty can you stop being such a dick for once in your life?” you say and the boy turns his attention towards you. once he sees that it’s you, his expression softens a bit and then quickly turns into a smirk. “this is men’s business y/n, it’s best if you just butt out.” he says to you arrogantly. the crowd laughs. “you shouldn’t be partaking in it then,” you say, crossing your arms across your chest. “put him down.” the chorus of “ooo’s” rises again and you see monty’s nostrils flare.

“and if i don’t?” he questions. “then i’ll shove my foot so far up your ass, you’ll cough up
my size 5 vans.” you snap at him. monty looks stunned and shakes his head, putting the boy down. the crowd subsides and you walk to your locker. monty’s gaze lingers on you while you put in your combination. he walks over to where you’re standing and props himself against the locker beside you.

“size 5? tiny, that’s cute.” he says while you dig around your locker. you groan and close the door, still annoyed with him. “montgomery, go be a piece of shit somewhere else, maybe go to class for once? i don’t have the time right now.” you say trying to walk away from him. he stands in front of you, placing each hand on either side of your head. he’s dangerously close to your face, so close that you can smell the mint on his breath and feel it on your cheeks. you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t find him attractive. “leave me the hell alone de la cruz. don’t you have somewhere to be?” you spat at him, trying to seem confident. on the inside, you felt like you were melting.

“why do you hate me, y/n?” monty asks you while searching your eyes with his. you snap into reality and remember why you’re angry with him in the first place. looking him dead in the eyes, you begin speaking. “because, you’re an ass monty. you’re such a bully and i’m sick of your shi-” monty let’s his impulses take over and cuts you off by smashing his lips onto yours. he pulls away and stares at you intently. “how do you manage to piss me off so much, but turn me on at the same time, y/l/n?” monty says while gripping your wrist.

you giggle at his words until he presses himself flush against you. you can feel your breath hitch in your throat. “you think this is funny?”
he growls while grinding himself against you. you let out a shaky breath and then you smash your lips onto his. you didn’t know what was taking over you, but you weren’t complaining. monty yanks your hand and leads you into the janitor’s closet, slamming it shut and locking it.

his lips immediately attach to your neck and you shudder from his touch. “you’re stupid montgomery.” you moan breathlessly. “mmmhmmm.” he hums against your neck in response. “so stupid.” you moan as he lifts your shirt above your head. monty kisses you again, more forcefully this time. you can feel his hard on dig into your leg, so you glide your hand down to start palming him. he moans into your mouth and then grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head while he kisses you roughly all over.

monty sits down, pulling you on top of him. he grabs your hips and you start grinding against his erection, moaning from the friction. “fucking shit y/n, you’re so sexy.” monty groans while grabbing your ass to squeeze it. you smirk and stand up, and his eyes latch onto you. you decide to give him a show and take off your pants and panties painfully slow, without breaking eye contact with him. his eyes rake your body up and down and he takes his pants off too.

he walks towards you swiftly and has you pushed to the wall again in a rough, fiery kiss. you tug at the waistband of his boxers, and he pulls away. “jump.” monty breathed into your ear, and you felt chills go down your spine. you do as he says, wrapping your legs around his waist in the process. he uses one hand to pull down his underwear, positions himself at your entrance, and pounds into you hard and fast. the sudden contact made you cry out in pain as you bounced on him. his firm grip around your waist was sure to leave hard to explain bruises, but in the moment, all you can think about is the pleasure that you feel. your eyes roll back as you grip monty’s shoulders.

“o- oh my… fuck.” is all that monty can get out. you try to control your moans but with every thrust, all you can do is gasp out. you were never one to be speechless, but words couldn’t describe how you were feeling.

monty backs up and sits against the shelf so that you can ride him. your hips rolled effortlessly while you placed your hands on his chest. you felt your legs getting weaker by the second, knowing that you were nearing the edge. “fu- oh my god mont, i’m close.” you whimper. monty sits up so that he can kiss you, and you start to bounce on him faster. he moans into your mouth again and then pulls away to place wet kisses on your jawline, lacing his hand into your hair. he kisses behind your ear and then begins whispering to you.

“let it out baby girl.” monty says in your ear, causing you to shiver. “look at you, riding my cock. god you look so hot right now. i wish you could see it.” he continues. his words motivate you to bounce even quicker, and he hisses. your nails dig into monty’s back. your walls clench, and you come undone around him. before you have a chance to ride out your high, monty flips you onto your back. he rolls his hips into you and brings his thumb down to rub your clit. pleasure jolts through your body as monty goes to work.

your whimpers echo off the walls of the janitor’s closet while monty grunts. “shit y/n, i’m not going to last.” he breathes out. monty rubs your clit even faster and your eyes roll back. your vision blurs as you cry out his name, and your senses go into overdrive. monty puts his head in the crook of your neck, and after a few more thrusts, he comes, triggering your second orgasm. you both breathe heavily while trying to recover from the event that just took place.

“so,” monty starts, “wanna ditch? i mean we’re already hella late, and i have the house to myself. what do you say?” he questions you with a smirk.

Some CIS Peter headcanons

so someone pointed out that there are no CIS-Peter headcanons on @transpeter the other day, so I wanted to make some to help stop what this anon refered to as ‘ciserasure’ :)

  • Cis Peter finding out there are comic books about him and being super happy
  • Cis Peter finding out people headcanon him as trans.

  • Cis Peter shrugging and letting other people headcanon what they want because he knows those headcanons can make trans kids feel like they can be superheros too and letting trans people headcanon him literally negatively affects nobody in any way shape or form

  • Cis Peter thinking that all the hate replies at the trans Peter headcanons are fucking dumb

  • Cis Peter literally contributing to trans Peter headcanons by writing his own because he’s glad they make people happy

  • Cis Peter showing up at a trans pride parade to support trans people because he’s an ally

  • Cis Peter reading all the stupid transphobic responses to the trans headcanons and using his own blog to drag transphobes because headcanoning Peter as trans person literally harms nobody

  • Cis Peter understanding that even though lots of characters are headcanoned trans by various sources, it does not mean that trans people are just trying to ‘turn everyone trans’ because different people headcanon different characters as trans and that argument is based on the idea that what one trans person thinks MUST be what all trans people think and therefore as soon as one person headcanons someone as trans EVERYONE trans does it and that just simply isn’t true, and even if it was who the fuck cares??? Who the fuck. Why is it a big deal. LET everyone be trans on that person’s blog. Hell, make an Entirely Trans book/movie/tv show, there are PLENTY of entirely cis pieces of media so why the fuck not?? Hell, every fictional character ever is now trans. If that suddenly takes away your ability to empathize with and love that character, it’s because you’re the kind of transphobic asshole this post was made at.

  • Cis Peter being one of the cis people who isn’t a dumbass

Anyways hope this is good for the transphobic assholes!!! #stopciserasure

anonymous asked:

Stop responding with image macros just because you think someone's response is stupid. They might really just not know better, and won't know better unless someone explains it to them. I, for one, would love to see your elaboration instead of those silly images on some of your posts.

insidethepinfilledhat  asked:

Oldseph team Edward or team Jacob

(( dhfjghfg jamie how many people even remember the Twilight Fan Wars, good lord ))

  • Lirin: Good response to getting stabbed with a sword?
  • Gojyo: "Rude."
  • Dokugakuji: "That's fair."
  • Hakkai: "Not again."
  • Goku: "Are you gonna want this back, or can I keep it?"
I Know A Guy - Peter Parker x Reader

Originally posted by peterbparkerr

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Warnings: [N/A]
Fandom: Marvel

It was the end of Spanish class and Peter was making his way to his locker when he heard a familiar voice call to him from behind.

“Peter hey! Wait up” he turned to see you, one of the prettiest girls in school, not to mention Of of the smartest waving at him. To be honest Peter was surprised you even knew his name. He even looked around to see if there were any other Peter’s around just to make sure you were talking to him.

“M…me?” He stammered once you approached. You let out a sweet laugh at his flustered reaction.

“Yeah you doofess” you said playfully hitting him in the arm. If he could without looking like an idiot Peter would have punched himself in the face. What a stupid response.

Peter’s liked you for a long time. Like he’s already said you’re pretty, smart, but also down to earth and really nice. You sat beside him in math and history and always said hi to him but because of his own awkwardness the conversation would never go past a greeting. Jesus Christ he’s never even heard you say his name because no matter how much you tried he never tried to talk back to you, just because he was too scared of looking like an idiot. Things were going to be different now though, becoming Spiderman has given him a new sense of confidence. He wasn’t going to run and hide anymore. He was going to have an actual conversation with you like a normal guy.

“So anyway Peter” you continued “heard a rumour that you’re friends with Spiderman. Is it true?“.

He takes back what he just said, now was a good time to run and hide. Peter instantly felt himself start to start to sweat at your question. This was all Ned’s fault. If he hadn’t blurted that out in front of the entire gym this wouldn’t even be happening. Yet again, if he hadn’t he probably wouldn’t be talking to you outside of class either.

Peter stumbled upon his words for a second or two but after taking a deep breath he managed to give you a clear and proper answer. <br>
“A…ah yeah I do. It’s no big deal” he said shooting you a nervous grin “he’s a nice guy”.

“Really? That’s so cool-”.

“Don’t listen to Parker” Flash Thompson said appearing out of no where and wrapping his arm around you’re neck. You and Peter both cringed. Flash was the opposite of you yet he acted like you two were dating. It made Peter’s blood boil. <br> “Come on, this is the guy who I heard was going to build the Death Star out of legos after school one day-”.

“Death Star? You like Star Wars?”.

Once again you found a way to surprise Peter. Smart, pretty, nice, down to earth, and a nerd. You were becoming even more appealing by the second. <br>
“Oh yeah” Peter chuckled “me and Ned are building it”.

“Cool”.

“That’s not the point” Flash interrupted once again “Parker’s a nobody. Why would a guy like Spiderman give him the time of day? He’s obviously lying”.

“Oh please” you replied with a roll of the eyes “I mean Peter’s probably the nicest guy that goes to this school. He’s probably never lied a day in his life. I believe him” you finished shooting Peter a sweet grin that could have made anyone’s heart start to beat out of their chests. His cheeks went pink at your words. He couldn’t help but feel guilty because that wasn’t true. The past few months of his life have only been a lie.

“Whatever so [Y/N] want to get something to eat after school?” Flash asked with a smirk.

“Er ah Flash I would ah love too… but I have to do something after school, sorry?”.
Peter couldn’t help but feel somewhat smug as he watched Flash walk away looking defeated, he immediately felt bad for it though. Once Flash was gone you turned to Peter. “If you couldn’t already tell I’m not actually doing anything after school. Maybe you can ask your friend Spiderman if he’d like to stop by my place?”.

“Ah [Y/N] I don’t think I can…”.

“Jeez Peter I was joking” you laughed “no dear god don’t ask Spiderman to show up at my house. I don’t want to look like a crazy fangirl. But… you know I’d actually really like it if you stopped by tonight. We could hang out? Talk about that Death Star of yours?”.

He felt as if he couldn’t breath. You of all people were inviting him over to hang out? This was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him. Well besides being bit by that radioactive spider…

“Y…yeah that would be awesome!… I mean s…sure why not?” He said desperately trying to act as casual as possible.

“Fantastic, you know where I live right?”.

“Yeah of course I do… Crap that sounded really creepy what I meant was that I’ve been there a couple times for parties and stuff. I’ll be there around six if that’s okay?”.

“Sounds great” you said giving him one last smile “I’ll see you then” with that you turned away. Peter didn’t take his eyes off you until you completely disappeared down the hall.


 Peter arrived at your house thirty minutes late. He got held up stopping a bunch of bank robbers and showed up at your house still in his suit, which he had to change out of behind a bush in your backyard.

Once he successfully stuffed his costume into his backpack, he raced to your front door and rang the door bell. A few minutes later you were in the doorway grinning back at him.

“Hey look it’s Peter I suck at being on time Parker” you teased not looking actually upset. In fact maybe Peter was imagining it but you looked almost relieved to see him, as if you were scared he wouldn’t show up. As if he’d ever do that. He’d have to be crazy to stand you up.

“I’m so sorry I had to help my aunt”.

“Don’t worry about it just come inside” you said ushering him inside. Peter gave your parents a quick greeting then you lead him upstairs to your bedroom. Your house was really nice, definitely better then his apartment in Queens. Peter couldn’t help but look at the family photos hanging on the walls. After all these years your smile managed to stay just as pearly white. There were a lot of photos of you and your friends from school too. You really seemed to have it made.

“I’m happy you came over Peter” you said once you both entered your bedroom and you shut the door behind you “you’re in a bunch of my classes and I’ve always wanted to hang out, you seemed really nice. I’m happy we’re finally doing it now”.

“Me too” he replied sitting down on your bed. Soon the smile on his face faded into a frown. He wasn’t being honest with himself. No way someone like you who had a nice house, such good looks, and so many friends would want to be around someone like him.
“Look I know you’re only talking to me because I know Spiderman or whatever” he finally muttered making your smile vanish as well.

“Are you joking?! Peter the Spiderman thing was just an excuse so I could start a conversation with you. I mean all we’ve ever said to each other before was hello. I really like you for you. You’re smart, funny, sweet. Honestly I would have tried to talk to you before but I didn’t think you liked me. You know because whenever I try to talk to you you hardly respond”.

Peter went red.
“Oh that. That was really only because I was nervous about talking to you”.

“It seems like we’ve both have been wasting a lot of time huh?”.

“Yeah”.

“Well I don’t want to waste anymore time then” you said popping down on the bed beside him “tell me about Peter Parker and for gods sake don’t bring up Spider-Man. I just want to know about you”.
Ironically if Peter was to tell you truthfully everything about himself he’d have to bring up Spider-Man but just as you requested he skipped through that part.

You two talked for what felt like hours. He told you about his Aunt and you made him promise to introduce you to her. He learned a lot about you too. You both laughed a ton, turns out you were really funny. Another thing to add to the list of things that made you amazing.

Eventually your dad knocked on the door and announced that it was time for him to go so reluctantly you walked him downstairs to the front door.

“This was fun. Really Peter I can’t remember the last time I met someone so easy to talk to. Thanks for stopping by”.

“Trust me it was my pleasure. Thank you for putting up with me for this long” he chuckled making you laugh once again. Did he mention that your laugh was cute because it was. If he could have it as if ringtone without it being creepy he would. “See you tomorrow Pete” you said and too his great shock you leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Even after you closed the door he was left standing on your porch blushing like a maniac. He said before that being bit by a radioactive spider was the best day of his life. That was lie. Today was by far the best day of his life.

some anon asked me to draw tony and pepper, but i accidentally deleted the message, sorry!!!! (⊙︿⊙✿)

♡ You are my hero ♡ (Part 1)

A/N, this will probably be a two part story because A: I’m tired, and B: I’m a sucker for Drama. (For those who wished to be tagged: @emo-space-trash @fandomsandanythingelse @suchtrashwow and @sunshinelollip0ps )



The first time Patton saw him, no, not when Logan popped into existence, with angled eyes and a sort of… little brother way about him, but actually saw him as more than that…

Logan had been young, trying to get Thomas to study harder for an eminent test. In that moment, he had been but a pair of peeking, chocolate eyes, watchful over the giant stack of paperbacks he carried.
Patton remembered the last moment he’d ever think of Logan in a platonic way, how the other paused in their communal lounge, re-gripping the bottom of the stack.
Patton could almost see the moment in his mind, hear his own voice offer to take a few, ‘lighten the load’, so to speak. But with bare movement, Logan shook his head.

“Thank you for the offer, Patton, but I am quite capable of handling myself,” and with an affirmative nod, he departed.
Patton never quite understood, why at that moment, his heart beat against his ribcage as if it wished to escape, how the scent of old books and ink and detergent did not swamp his mind with ‘boredom’ any-longer, but with a fluttering feeling that made him lightheaded.
Now, Patton knew he wasn’t exactly the smartest of the sides. But he knew emotions.
He knew what this meant.

Patton knew that he was, with no other words for it, fucked.

It was no coincidence, that after that time, he began acting a little more bubbly, often border-lining on air headed around the more logical side.
He hoped it served good contrast between the other’s fairly boring day-to-day being.
He hoped it didn’t annoy Logan too much.
Because, if he were completely honest… Patton had no idea how to feel anything other than the bursting bubbles of joy around Logan.
And, somehow… he didn’t really want to.

So, for the longest time… Nothing changed.
Until…

The voice came from behind him, just as he’d set a pan of fresh muffins on the counter, and more importantly, right after Logan had left the room.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
Patton whirled around at hurricane speeds, making himself slightly dizzy and nearly burning himself by accident.

“W-W-Wh-What??? No, of course I’m not!” Patton exclaimed, cheek twitching as he mentally reprimanded himself for lying.
Patton plucked off the pink oven mitts, if only as something to do with his hands.

“Really?” Anxiety, or as he would be called in a years time, ‘Virgil’, asked. The raise of his eyebrow fluid, yet testing.

“O-Of course I’m not in l-l-l-love with L-L-Logan, that would be, I- I don’t even, why, I would, I can’t even imagine-” the sweet baked smell of muffins did not provide any kind of comfort, in fact, somehow, the scent felt strangling. And the normally hug-like warmth, spilling fourth from the oven, felt overwhelming to his fraying nerves.

“M’kay,” Anxiety gave a shrug, knowing when to back down, but also, when not to.
“‘Cause, hypothetically, if you were, you’d be in big trouble,” he moved to the counter where the muffins were set, taking out a paper plate and a pair of metal tongs.

“I-I mean we’re so different anyways so-… wait, what?” Patton turned.
“Why would that be bad?” Patton asked, to distracted to even warn Anxiety against eating the still-far-to-hot muffins. Anxiety turned his head to watch the other, a calculating expression on his porcelain mask.
“Hypothetically of course,” Patton was quick to amend.
Anxiety nodded.

“Well, hypothetically,” Anxiety obliged, “if anyone were in love with Logan, it would be bad news.” Patton was about to ask ‘why’, again, but Anxiety only raised a hand.
Patton’s words died in his throat.
“Because,” Anxiety clicked, “He’s logic.” At a raised eyebrow, Anxiety continued.
“He doesn’t do, emotions, or love, or any of that. ‘Thinks it’s all stupid and illogical.” Anxiety waved his hands in the air as he tried to explain, but eventually, the silent conduction of his thoughts flowed to a halt, and his hands dropped to his sides.
“So, whoever that imagined person is? They’d just get hurt, and Logic would get confused, and it would be awkward.” Anxiety turned back to the muffins, using a pair of tongs to lift two of the still steaming muffins onto his plate.
Behind him, Patton’s figure was hunched, a shadow of his usually beaming self.
Anxiety turned and cursed his empathy, before placing an uncertain, unsteady hand on the other’s shoulder.
Patton looked up at the contact, earthy brown eyes watery and shifting with emotion.

“Look, I’m not saying feelings are bad, it’s just…” Anxiety sighed, “I… I don’t want you to get hurt.” Patton nodded, thanking the darker side for his advice and retreating into his room to curl into his covers.
Patton cried that night, not because the words particularly hurt in any way, but because the reasoning was sound, and it all seemed far too… true.
And that stung more than any name they could call him.
So, Patton didn’t get up again until the next morning, didn’t eat any of the muffins he’d baked that night.

So, taking Anxiety’s words with a grain of salt, Patton continued to smile and laugh around the logical trait. Making jokes, asking him what he was reading… mostly just engaging him in conversations, if only to hear the calming drone of his voice.
And, after a month of sideways looks from Anxiety, and the occasional raised brow from Prince, it seemed he was due another time for another, uncomfortable conversation about his life choices.
Wonder-bar…

“So… you and Logan… huh?” For the embodiment of Thomas’s romantic and dramatic emotions, he sure did have an interesting way of broaching such a subject.
Nonetheless, Patton went rigid and faltered, then stuttered out a violently stupid response.

“I-I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about! W-What about me and L-L-Logan?” His voice was unsteady, eyes franticly searching for a way out.
Roman was pretty sure, with all the stress the fatherly trait was putting on his pencil, it would snap.

“Oh come now, it’s pretty obvious you’ve got the hots for Mr. Cool, hm?” Roman laughed with a full bodied, head-thrown-back laughter that somehow made the awkwardness seep away.
But, Roman did not admit that it had taken him seeing Patton, with his own two eyes, doodling love-hearts around him and Logan’s name just a moment ago, to truly connect all the dots.

“So… when are you gonna become Mr. And Mr. Nerd? You know, pop the question?” Roman nudged him, not terribly gently, with his elbow. Patton, giving a well meaning titter, ran a hand through his hair.

“Honestly? I don’t think I should, I mean…” Patton sighed, “I have no idea if he even likes me that way, or if he even feels romantic feelings at all… Really, I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable, o-or-”

“Wait wait wait wait wait…” Roman interrupted, hands shaping an invisible snowman in the air.

“You two love-doves aren’t even dating?” Roman asked, head cocked dramatically to the side.

“U-U-Ummm, no?” Patton’s eyes darted left, shrinking away from the dramatic trait.
Roman grabbed the other by his shoulders, staring deep into slightly frightened cinnamon eyes.

“Alright, listen close doll, ’cause we’re about to get you a man.”


(Sorry about bad quality, I’m tired AF)

Oikawa is tired of hearing Hanamaki complain about his state of singleness. If he hears one more over dramatic lament of ‘ya boi needs to be dicked down’, he’s going to beat the living shit out of his best friend with a dildo to make sure that he’s down for good.

“What if I introduce you to someone?” Iwaizumi sighs, shoving his head into Oikawa’s neck to try and drown out Hanamaki’s whale noises.

“No offense, but you’re dating Oikawa, an awful person, and I don’t really trust your judgement.” Hanamaki rejects.

“I’m dating your bestfriend.” Iwaizumi reminds with an eyeroll.

“Yeah.” Hanamaki agrees which doesn’t make sense as a response but Iwaizumi continues anyway.

“I know someone with the same disgusting 2010 ‘i’m so random’ personality as you.” Iwaizumi looks pained.  Oikawa pieces together who his boyfriend is talking about and takes on that same haunted expression. “He’s exactly like you.”

“That is by far one of the most offensive things anyone has ever said to me,” Hanamaki addresses Iwaizumi, hand held dramatically to his chest and continues, “He sounds hot, when can I meet him?”

“I’ll call him” “this is a bad idea” Oikawa and Iwaizumi speak at the same time.

Keep reading

  • Fushimi: *scoffing* Boyfriend? I don't want to be Misaki's boyfriend!
  • Kusanagi: *cleaning a glass in the bar* Well, what do you want then?
  • Fushimi: *slumps down and hits head on bar* I don't know. I just want to be with him. All the time. I want to hear about his day and tell him about mine. I want to hold his hand and smell his hair. But I don't want to be his stupid boyfriend. Because Misaki is stupid. And HOMRA is stupid. And you're stupid. And Captain is stupid. You know who else is stupid? Everyone. Everyone is stupid. Stupid Misaki won't even look at me. And another thing-
  • Kusanagi: ...