stupid hera

I don't understand why anyone would portray Hades as a villain I mean the Iliad is basically
  • Aphrodite:Let's see how bad I can fuck things up
  • Apollo:DIE YOU STUPID GREEKS
  • Athena:DIE YOU STUPID TROJANS
  • Xanthus:DIE YOU STUPID GREEKS
  • Hephaestus:DIE YOU STUPID TROJANS
  • Artemis:DIE YOU STUPID GREEKS
  • Hera:DIE YOU STUPID TROJANS
  • Ares:DIE YOU STUPID GREEKS
  • Zeus:FUCK YOU POSEIDON
  • Poseidon:FUCK YOU ZEUS
  • Zeus:NO YOU
  • Poseidon:YOU
  • Zeus:YOU
  • Poseidon:YOU
  • Hades:Can you guys please quiet down up there I'm trying to work

“Clone Wars is stupid!”

“Rebels is stupid!”

“Ahsoka’s a stupid character!”

“Kanera will never happen!”

“The space family headcanon is stupid!”

“Hera’s not even a good pilot!”

“Kanan is a horrible Jedi!”

“Ezra’s not even attractive!”

youtube

I found this yesterday and couldn’t stop laughing at how bad it is. Just a warning, depending on how pious you are, this could be fairly offensive, as it contains swearing, asshatery, and stereotypical Zeus comments.

Lyrics transcript, because I couldn’t help myself: 


Nick-

Girls! 

We’re gonna rap ‘bout Dee-oniss-sus

*incoherent mumbling something about Dee-oniss-sus*

Greek god of party and wi-

Robes

BIG BOOTY

Yeah,

Wine. [holds up glass of fruit drink]

It’s not- *incoherent*

UH! Di-on-ih-sus, I’ve been partying so long that- I don’t know what time it is; I’m a real G, all the haters wanna be me, man but they can’t even see me, and I’m sittin’ on top, you can call that shit a tipi

[kid makes the shape of a tipi]

had nowhere to go, as a fertilized egg, hiding from Hera, I was born from my father’s third leg

[guy points to his junk]

The god of grape harvest, alcohol and wine, I got the mortals dancing’, and drinkin’ on overtime; on top of Mount Olympus, the last to get accepted, I might be a young god but madness s’wat I’m blessed with

*mumbles something* UH! *wtf does he say here?* you ready for this? Zeus was my dad, gave me his mortal seed, might be a demigod, but that’s all people really need; got a lotta crazy followers, I’m giving’ them epiphanies, but when I pop a bottle, man my glory’s all you really see Uh! uh, uh.

…Yeah.

Mortals worship- my siblings, inhugeass temples but my followers party in woods in booze with tent poles; uh, my dad’s- main hoe Hera wasn’t pleased, to see me had… cheating’ on her with s-seh-mil! Man, I got a man hoe… for a dad

UH, yeah, yeah, les go

To get revenge, Hera unleashed the Titans on me, tore my ass to pieces, I was no longer meant to be, but Rhea-

Oh shit! [throws hat]

Used her god powers on me and brought me back to life… I’m the second coming, who needs Jesus Christ?

OOOooooh!

Ho ho! Fire!

Midas is getting’ thirsty, so I gave him a gold touch, it made me thirsty so he gave me a gold turd- itsa cup.

[duck face]

I bring joy and divine ecstasy, bitches drop their man just so they can lay next to me uh, or I bring brutal and blinding rage, with… the wine, you can’t even handle, my shit’s so good you can call it hot like the mantle.

[hushed] oh!

Oh man, its getting lit

WOOO!

All these ladies gotta do is give me a wink, and nod, then I’ll be with them, with my sweet bod, and my pinecone rod! I’m spittin’ fire hotter than Prometheus; drank a- fifth of wine last night, DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WEEK IT ISSSS!

YEAAAAAAAAAAHHH! 

Listen I don’t mean to be a dick picking on some school project, but this shit is funny I’m sorry