stupid greg

One queer (two queer)

Red queer, blue queer

White queer, purple queer

Rose queer, donut queer

This one is a little car, many of them have a star

Say! What a lot of queers there are!

Yes. Some are red and some are blue

Some are old and some are new.

Some are sad

And some are glad

And some are very very bad

Why are they sad and glad and bad?

I do not know, go ask your dad.

Some are thin, and some are fat

(the fat one has a baseball bat)

From there

To here

From here

To there

Some are fast

Some are slow

Some are high

Some are low

Not one of them is like the other.

Don’t ask me why, go ask your- oh. sorry.

Greg is stupid about Shane P4: The editing and production

The continuation of this outdated scandal (because it’s Onision and this was replaced immediately by his debate). I want to continue this because the issues brought up are applicable to basically every one of his videos. Onision is a serial manipulator, right down to the back-end of his videos, and this video is a prime example of it.

The music:
The moment I turned on the video I was struck by the music. The music is well chosen and pretty well camouflaged. It’s a terrible ominous sounding sound designed to make you feel dread. It’s much softer than his voice and he leaves very few pauses so he doesn’t leave the music on its own. It’s also a piece of music that doesn’t change too many notes so if you don’t have an ear for it, you could completely miss it. Due to all this, the music can trick your brain into thinking the dread feeling is a reaction to what Greg is showing. A pretty common trick of movies and people not confident that their subject material will actually convey the emotion they want. (See the John William’s work on The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones)

The special effects:
Now this part is funny because unlike the well-integrated music, the effects are out of a B-movie or a failed skit Youtuber’s videos. So, while Greg is trying to tug at our heartstrings that he received so many terrible comments (that he only showed 3 of them at that dramatic point), he turned the video to greyscale with “glitches”. I think it’s to show how scary it is but honestly, Greg probably receives worse comments daily on non-attack videos. This was stupid but it might scare a 12 year old, which is his audience that he already considers to be a bunch of idiots (his words). He does it multiple times later as well but it’s done badly. It’s easy to see that he’s doing it to make the video seem more “serious” but it doesn’t. By the end of the video it’s practically every other sentence and overused but the intent to manipulate is still there.

The pictures chosen:
While saying the words “Shane Dawson’s videos promote obesity” (words I never thought could ever be spoken seriously), Greg shows pictures of Shane eating obviously unhealthy foods. I’ve looked through Shane’s channel and there were about 12 videos total in 6 months even involving food. Majority of which weren’t anything crazy like what Greg tried to show. 2 were actually him making tiny cakes for his cat (I may or may not have clicked on them because of how adorable it looked). I will go into specifics about the videos Greg shows later but the point is, Greg acts like Shane is running a terrible daily Muckbang channel when the video thumbnails he shows aren’t all even showing up as videos from 5 months ago. I’ve eaten steak a couple times this year and multiple times in my life, I don’t eat it everyday but if someone like Greg came along and only posted pictures of me eating steak it would seem like I only ever eat meat or steak. Even if that’s not a representation of the truth.
Greg also uses a body picture of Shane to prove a point that Shane is obese. Different angled pictures and different clothes show body shape differently. Here’s a recent picture of Shane from his instagram:

Not quite the dying obese man Greg is trying to show. Greg of course uses only one set of Shane’s body pictures throughout the video. These pictures are of Shane wearing a very baggy shirt and shorts that is not form-fitting at all. If you want to show someone’s body you need to actually show their body (or be a decent person and, well, don’t). One of the pictures Greg uses of course includes him in it dressed his best, hair styled, and obviously wearing his usual foundation to compare and contrast. One of the other pictures show Shane from behind which is obviously will not give us any idea as to how Shane looks. The shirt being baggy obviously makes him look bigger, especially from behind. 

The FAX pictures:
I swear this was a total coincidence but Greg actually one of the major citations I used in my previous post discrediting his description! This is actually amazing and makes everything super easy! Greg utterly misrepresented the facts and cherry-picked things that would support his belief! Greg uses the Death Stats of the United States and shows it as proof that obesity causes a lot of death. He leaves out a lot of information which I go over in my post. In my post I showed that all these causes of death can obviously be caused by obesity but obesity isn’t the lead cause of dying from these diseases. Also that anorexia can cause the same things. He shows heart disease and then says that obesity can lead to a higher risk of dying from heart disease leading his audience to believe that the highest cause of death in the United States was heart disease. Ignoring of course everything else. He also shows and compares stats that cannot be compared (and I cannot even all find)
For example, Greg uses a graph from the WSJ that has the year, his second graph with no citation does not have the year. They cannot be used to compare, hell, we don’t even know if the second graph is US-based. Coincidentally I could not find the WSJ’s graph on the CDC website and I also could not find this graph on their website. The only place I found it was on pinterest.

This is a very common tactic for anti-vaxxers, politicians, douchebags on facebook, new-age suburban moms, and the Alex Jones’ of the world. As his audience is mostly children who have not gotten to even 11th grade bio, they will see these stats, make the links, and assume he must be right because if you don’t have all the information it certainly looks that way.

Greg’s hot vegan bod
Yeah, Greg’s body isn’t proving anything but he knows his audience thinks he’s hot. Also he’s showing it to us after using the most unflattering Shane pics he could find. Random fact: the kid’s series Dear Dumb Diaries had a subplot where the main character made sure to stand beside her ugly classmate or friend during some wedding or school dance once.

So what does this give us?
This thumbnail in dramatic greyscale, ending with a glitchy screen as a transition is literally Shane eating a burger from his video “trying hangover foods”, or as Greg puts it, “guaranteeing health problems in the future”. Eating a singular burger will not kill you or even leave lasting health problems or lead to them in the future. But given the tone of voice, greyscale, glitch transition, and underlying ominous music, I too am convinced to throw out my years of education and believe Shane will die for eating a meal made out of empty calories that will be burned too fast and fats that on their own will not make a lasting impact on his health. Oh wait, I just laughed hysterically

Just because he’s trying to make it manipulative doesn’t mean it’ll actually work

Uni!Lock-Greg’s Phone

Greg: I can’t believe I forgot my phone. I hope Sherlock liked his birthday present yesterday. Oh, he called.

Phone: You have 17 new messages.

Greg: What?!

Phone: Message 1.

Sherlock: Hey Graham, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. John can’t drive and I ran Victor’s Mazda into that ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.

Victor: You still owe me for that.

Sherlock: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Mazdas are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?

John: [Snoring]

Sherlock: John, you’re up! Talk to you later, Graham!

Phone: End of Message.

Greg: I’m not listening to all of these.

[skips to the last message]

Phone: Message 17.

Sherlock: Oh my god is he dead? Why did you put him in the car?

Victor: It’s Seb, you idiot! Just shut up and keep driving to the hospital!

Anderson: Sherlock, when are we getting to Chuck E Cheese?

Sherlock: Anderson, shut up! Greg, please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The show went south, so we decided to make our own, but… Oh man, oh man, pick up your stupid phone! Greg, go to my desk, open the dark drawer and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help the fire, you gotta do this, Greg!

Victor: Sherlock, eyes on the road!

John: Truck!

All: [Screaming]

Phone: End of message.

anonymous asked:

PLEASE tell me more about noah and gregory's friendship (relationship?) noah seems like a dick, greg is prob in love w him, it seems all very annoying jock boy relationship i just wanna know more have they drunkenly made out yet


basically… Noah is really intelligent but he’s lazy. Greg is like, Not Smart, and so uninterested in school, ‘cause whatever right? Not like he’s not going to inherit like half his dad’s fortune. Noah and Greg both had tough upbringings, they’re both privileged and white, their parents are never home, and they met during one of Noah’s dad’s parties. 
Noah’s dad owns a chain of big luxury hotels, one near Portland. (Peninsula Gardens) And he’s planning to open another one in Blue Crests. Greg’s dad is a business magnate. (miners.)
Typical lonely, rich boys. Greg’s dad was all, Approving of his friendship with Noah, and at first, Noah didn’t seem like he cared Too Much about Greg, but
see, Mr. Hawkins often berates Greg.
“Noah should have been my son. Why can’t you be more like him.”
“your sister is excelling at her school, look at you.”
Stuff like that. One time Noah overhears Mr. Hawkins calling Greg a stupid oaf for breaking something at their home. Noah immediately defends Greg, saying stuff like, “it’s not his fault, the vase was placed too near the edge!” 
And it made Greg go !!!!!!! 
because no one had ever defended him before. Ever since then, he’s rarely left Noah’s side. Even though a lot of the kids at Willow Grove call him Noah’s henchman, he’s the only one who can stomach how much of a snob and a “weirdo” Noah can be. On the field, Noah’s 5′10 height might seem unimpressive, but he’s Untouchable thanks to his bff.

someone: oh yeah, back off, from you and what arm-
Greg and his 6′5 ass: *glare*
someone: alright alright jeez
Noah: *huffing with pride* see that?? See that Greg?? He was so scared of me.
Greg: yeah, I saw it. You’re pretty terrifying.

Greg is stupid about Shane P1: the description box

Let’s start with the description because wow, it’s so wrong already.

“Shane Dawson’s weight, incredibly sensitive topic in 2017, but I talk about a skinny YouTuber? You guys praised me “

His weight isn’t an incredibly sensitive topic in 2017. You keep talking about it in 2017 and people hate you for it each time. No one else is talking about it. People also hate you for attacking Eugenia Conney and spurring your fans to send hate.
The fact of the matter is that Eugenia isn’t as popular as Shane so less people will click on a video with her name on it. Her fans already know not to touch your videos so we already have reasons why those videos will be more of an echo chamber. Despite you having gotten a lot of hate for it.

Shane is a name people know. Even those not subscribed know the name Shane Dawson and might be clickbaited into checking out your video. Probably thinking “what? Shane is not of normal weight?” or thinking “oh yeah, Shane has had weight issues, maybe this youtuber is trying to be supportive and has a new perspective on it”.

Also, it has come to my attention that today is Shane’s birthday. Even more people are clicking through videos about Shane since they want to look back and see how far he’s come. So more people on the internet will view this bullshit you call a video.
PS: Shane’s fans nowadays probably don’t know who you are which is why they clicked. The funny thing about the past is it isn’t the present. You aren’t doing skits with Shane anymore, and never will again

The second description box section deals with a “fact” that is very long to explain so that will be in part 2. I did not expect his description box alone to be more than one part…


tell me more about jay halstead’s past [28/∞]

“nobody wants to hear me play.”
“i do.”

art trade thing with cuopere!! she asked me to draw wirt doing something casual/everydayish like hanging with beatrice/greg or something, so boop they’re listening to wirt’s tapes. i think i made this a bit too shippy haha i’m sorry cp :–(

AU where pearl calls out on rose's shit
  • Pearl: Do you REALLY want to attack the rebel base with just the two of us?!! They have a whole army there!
  • Pearl: Are you REALLY gonna grab that amethyst we dont even know can be taught anything??
  • Pearl: Are you REALLY gonna let this guy form a town and fill them with humans in the place where we live,putting them in danger by living close to us??
  • Pearl: Are you REALLY gonna make the password to this powerful weapon a stupid catchphrase from your human boyfriend that noeone will remember except you??
  • Pearl: Are you REALLY gonna give up your physical form just to get a fucking hybrid as a son??You can make a normal one without dying you know!!
  • Pearl: Are you REALLY going to end up with that stupid human who you know less than me?? Ok honestly this one im just making because im salty but STILL.

her-royal-crayness  asked:

I want so many of can't decide. ... um Pansy/Greg or Vincent/Daphne

okay but i am SO passionate about pansy and greg like honestly i’m getting to the point where i realistically ship it more than hansy???? what am i even becoming??? it just makes more sense with canon i guess idk anyway i don’t need to give an explanation as to why i am liking it more than hansy at the moment but i just feel GUILTY

but anyway we can’t get to the headcanons now lol

  • so after the war pansy is as bitter as you can get
  • i mean
  • she has always been bitter
  • but it is to a whole new level now
  • she’s not bitter because the dark lord is gone
  • no, she’s thrilled about that
  • she’s just bitter because everyone hates her
  • and she is bitter that she was so bitter during school and was such.. a well… bitch 
  • i mean, that’s the only way you can put it
  • so she sort of isolates herself
  • she decides to get a job in the muggle world since no one in the wizarding world will hire her
  • and for that, her mom disowns her
  • it was typical really
  • but that left pansy with nowhere to go
  • she contemplated going to either draco or blaise’s house
  • but neither of them really needed her there
  • they had their own problems now to deal with 
  • and they liked to handle things alone
  • pansy tried to act like she did but really
  • she just needed someone to understand
  • she needed someone to need her 
  • it was stupid really
  • stupid that greg came to her mind to go to first
  • he was always infatuated with her in school
  • and she turned him down multiple times
  • but he was still always there as her friend anyway
  • he was stable
  • he was constant
  • pansy needed consistency
  • she thought of his big bear hugs
  • and how he always listened to her complain late at night in the common room when no one else was awake 
  • she wished people would see him for who he really was
  • not just draco’s sidekick
  • and he had lost vincent
  • his true best friend
  • and pansy could not help but feel for him
  • she couldn’t imagine if she lost draco or blaise
  • so here she was now
  • at his front door
  • waiting to be there for him like he always was for her
  • and really at the end of the day
  • this was for her still
  • stupid selfish pansy, she thought
  • some things never change
  • his loft was small
  • and as she knocked on his door
  • she chipped her black nail polish and cursed to herself
  • and before she was done cursing
  • greg opened the door
  • he was wearing sweat pants and a white t-shirt
  • but he had matured since she saw him a few months ago
  • and she felt her cheeks flush and could not believe this was her first reaction to seeing gregory goyle again for the first time
  • “pansy?” he asked her
  • it was like he could not believe she was there and real
  • like she still actually existed
  • “hey,” she said weakly, “may i come in?”
  • he just nodded and moved to the side so she could make her way through
  • he didn’t even comment on her suitcase
  • she sat down on his couch and looked around
  • an old pizza box was on his counter
  • and his muggle tv was on but now muted 
  • she suddenly felt nervous
  • and she was never nervous around greg
  • he sat down on his recliner across from her
  • they didn’t speak for awhile
  • until he finally decided to ask, “what’s wrong?”
  • she just shrugged and went back to looking at her chipped nail polish
  • she decided to pick the rest of it off
  • “life sucks, doesn’t it? that’s why i’m here.”
  • she thought he would agree with her
  • he lost his best friend
  • he lost everything
  • but he surprised her 
  • “no, it doesn’t,” he replied softly, “it never has, you just have to have hope and be resourceful enough to move on.”
  • she looked up at him
  • his light blue eyes were piercing through hers
  • this was it
  • this was her chance
  • “can i stay?” she asked softly
  • she hoped he wouldn’t hear
  • but of course he did
  • greg always heard her 
  • “yeah, i’ve been waiting for you.”