So I googled dumb things people have written in their APUSH DBQ’s:
At the Boston Massacre, colonists were throwing ice and lobsters at British troops.
The British started diseasing the natives with blankets covered in epidemics.
Obviously the British won because the French aren’t exactly known for winning wars.
Shaking up a Coke bottle is never advisable, especially if you plan to drop a Mentos inside. Unless you’re trying to cause an explosion, you’ll unpleasantly be faced with a large, sticky mess to clean up. Unfortunately, Coke and Mentos weren’t invented in 1763, so the British could not learn that lesson.
Franklin Roosevelt was a Rough Rider who fought in the French and Indian War who would later be elected president.
During the Boston Tea Party, the colonists bombed the harbor… with tea.
I think the South kept slaves just to make the North mad.
Those who could see the West began salivating.
Recent studies have shown that Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter. And everyone knows that southern planters were vampires using human slaves to do their bidding.
Harry Truman led many slaves to freedom.
Once they reached California they were called Sixty-Niners, which meant they were gold hunters.
One of the most well-known gangsters in the 1920s was Al Gore.
In response to the immigrants, they passed the Alien Seduction Acts.
It was hard to tell the Irish apart from each other, since they all had red hair and green eyes.
Immigrants brought diseases, but worst of all, they brought their religions.
The 1920s were like a lap dance inside an atheist rock bar.
The Kuts Klute Klan was very racist.
We became a nation where sex was a thing for fun and could be purchased. We went from “celibate” to “sell-a-butt.”
Many Irish and German immigrants came from Ireland
Eisenhower threatened massive retardation on the Soviets
Nixon was always throwing up peace signs – this says a lot about his foreign policy.
During the Civil War, both sides built nukes.
Nixon secretly dropped nuclear bombs on Cambodia.
The girl across from me has HUGE boobs. I can NOT concentrate.
(traces hand on the page) Hey AP reader… HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!
Dear fellow APUSH students, no matter how unprepared you are, just know that you’ll do better than these people.
Below are some questions pertaining to LGBT+ women, conveniently categorized. Have others send you random numbers (there’s 130 of them), or simply answer them yourself. Please reblog!
SEXUALITY & COMING OUT:
1. How do you define your sexuality?
2. What pronouns do you use to identify yourself?
3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?
4. At what age did you come to terms with your sexuality?
5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization?
6. How did your sexuality make you feel before you came out?
7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality?
8. At what age did you first come out?
9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?
10. Do your parents know about your sexuality?
11. How out are you?
12. Do you now identify as something different than when you first came out?
13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know?
14. Has coming out lost you any friends?
15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality?
16. How difficult do you find it to sympathize with straight women?
17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?
18. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay.
19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls?
20. Do you think it is possible to be a true 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed towards one gender?
21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl?
22. How accurate is your gaydar?
RELATIONSHIPS & DATING:
23. What is your current relationship status?
24. What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person?
25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl?
26. Are you a virgin? If not, what gender did you lose your virginity to?
27. What is your ideal first date?
28. What personality trait are you most attracted to?
29. How flirty are you?
30. Would you ever want to get married, if not already?
31 Do you want have children someday?
32. Would you ever want to give birth?
33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?
34. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you?
35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?
36. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters?
37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
38. Have you ever dated a guy?
39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you?
40. Has another girl ever hit on you?
41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?
42. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s significantly older than you?
43. Would you ever date a trans woman?
44. Have you ever had a profile on a LGBT dating website or app?
45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?
46. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?
47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to?
48. Is your nose pierced?
49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?
50. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where?
51. How muscular are you?
52. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy?
53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay?
54. Have you ever been mistaken as a dude?
55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often?
56. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often?
57. How much jewelry do you typically wear?
58. How much makeup do you typically wear?
59. How often do you wear a bra?
60. How often do you wear flannel?
61. Have you ever worn a suit?
62. Do you wear any shoes such as combat boots, Doc Martins or Timberlands?
63. Do you carry a purse?
64. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies?
65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?
66. Have you ever dressed in complete drag?
67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?
68. If you want to get married, do you think you will wear a dress?
69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?
70. Have you ever watched The L Word?
71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace?
72. Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race?
73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television?
74. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)?
75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers?
76. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed movie?
77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website?
78. Do you read any LGBT magazines?
79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations?
80. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn?
THIS OR THAT:
81. Boobs or butts?
82. Beer or wine?
83. Ellen or Portia?
BEING (SOMEWHAT) RANDOM:
84. How much do you like cats?
85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?
86. How many LGBT friends do you have?
87. Do you have any LGBT relatives?
88. Have you ever used any words (or variations of) such as lesbian, queer, gay, or homosexual as a password?
89. How outdoorsy are you?
90. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or pickup truck?
91. How many rainbow items do you own?
92. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11)?
93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?
94. Have you ever attended a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) type of club?
95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?
96. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding?
97. Have you ever been part of a softball team?
98. Do you skateboard or longboard at all?
99. Do you play any video games?
FROM 1-10, HOW ATTRACTIVE ARE:
100. Muscular women?
101. Women who wear glasses?
102. Women who are covered with tattoos?
103. Women who are covered with piercings?
104. Curvy/plus-sized women?
105. Women with short hair?
106. Highly intelligent women?
107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)?
108. Masculine/butch women?
109. What does equality mean to you?
110. Do you consider yourself a feminist?
111. Do you eat meat at all?
112. Are you religious at all?
113. Did you vote for Hillary Clinton?
114. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends?
115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic?
116. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, homo, or tranny?
117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use?
118. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military?
119. Have you ever been called a gay slur?
120. Have you ever been queer bashed?
121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain.
122. Does it really get better?
123. How did you feel on June 26, 2015?
124. How accepting of LGBT people is the city/community you live in?
125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”?
126. How annoyed are you with how heteronormative society is?
127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?
128. Is there anything about the LGBT community that you wish you knew before coming out?
129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?
130. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to come out?
as someone with developmental disabilities who has been called the r-slur many times over the course of my life, imho, okay, and this is an opinion,
there is no way that dumb/stupid/idiot are ‘slurs’ i mean they can be ableist in context but they are not something you need to censor or ask others not to use (unless it is against someone WITH disabilities)… that’s just. pushing it
I totally understand the whole feminism and equal rights thing and it’s totally awesome that women are finding this confidence within themselves and each other but there’s a serious issue when you’re tearing down one gender to boost your own. Some feminist are fucking insane and just come off sounding like feminazis. I get it you don’t need a man in your life and I totally agree with you, but that doesn’t mean that you should just start saying that “ALL MEN ARE PIGS! ALL MEN SHOULD DIE! ALL MEN ARE USELESS!” because that just means that you’re making no progress for your cause. Once you start spewing hateful and ignorant shit like that it makes me question what you stand for. Everyone should be treated equally, no ifs ands or buts about it, but don’t think just because you think you’re fighting for a good cause that you can just start saying bad shit. It makes you look bad, and it makes the cause look bad. I understand that women need feminism, but do it in a logical and peaceful way.
Behind closed door - Bruce Wayne x Reader (NSFWish)
I feel absolutely awful, and for some reason, writing smut is oddly comforting, so here we go for some Bruce smutty story ! (with feelings, like the story is actually mainly relationship things between Bruce and Batmom and a little smut around there ;-)). Sorry again that I haven’t posted in a while, I just…had a major change in my life and wasn’t feeling fit to write if that makes sense. Anyway, hope you’ll like it :
THIS IS NSFW ! It’s SMUT. Meaning there will be a graphic depiction of SEX. Please don’t read if those sort of things makes you uncomfortable and blahblahblah. I have plenty of stories that are SFW without any of those “dirty stuffs”, so you can read those instead if you wanna :-). You can find said stories here : My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com
Behind closed doors, Bruce Wayne was different. Of course, it takes time to get him there, to crack his shell and for him to allow him to be that man, only behind closed doors.
Behind closed doors, Bruce Wayne was different. He could be himself…Finally.
The first time it happened, it was rather early on in your relationship.
On the anniversary of his parents’ death, to be exact.
You had been together for, technically, eight months by then.
Officially though ? Only 4 months. Half of your relationship has been spend hiding from paparazzis and people in general.
Hell, even Alfred didn’t know anything about you !
You understood why though. He was the famous Bruce Wayne ! He had a reputation to keep ! He couldn’t date a nobody from a poor part of town like you ! He couldn’t seriously date anyone ! Especially not you, a way younger girl who wasn’t even that beautiful, intelligent or famous ! (Bruce would argue that you were the most beautiful and intelligent woman he ever met though, but he was always so nice to you…).
Besides, you also thought that the reason you guys always went on secret dates, the reason for Bruce to sneak in your room quietly, or for you to “infiltrate” his office to go have a quickie on his desk, the reason you guys kept thing hidden…was because he didn’t want you to think this…”thing” you had between the two of you was something serious.
He didn’t want you to think he wanted to actually date you.
And if it was known that you and him went on little dates (or worst, if anyone heard about how you often went to just have sex with him in his office, or how the famous Bruce Wayne would sneak into your apartment complex to fuck you everywhere in your apartment…Well, it was a bit unrealistic and crazy to think anyone would know that but what if ?) and such, then you’d become his “official girlfriend”, and the day he’d want to finish this “thing” you had ? The day he’d want another girl ? …Then you’d be humiliated. You’d just be his woman toy and everyone would talk about you for days. The woman who wasn’t just a date, but a regular booty call…Of the great Bruce Wayne ! Surely, this would be all over the news for weeks.
You knew Bruce enough to know that he wasn’t that kind of man, he could sometimes be a bit insensitive and such but you knew him…No matter what he liked to say right after he slept with you, when his defenses were a bit down and he was trying to convince you he wasn’t good for you, he was actually a good man.
Sure he was known to be a womanizer but every women who ever went out with him knew what “this” was, they knew they probably wouldn’t stay long with him, even if they had hope about it. They knew that the next week ? They’d be out.
Sometimes, you thought about how, four months later, you were still not “out” but at the same time, you knew, just like those women he dated that you were probably just a phase. You were already so amazed that a man like Bruce Wayne would have any interest in you so…But yes, despite what he said about himself, and what the news sometimes portrayed him like, he was actually a true gentleman (thanks Alfred). So he kept it hidden, he kept it to himself because…It was just fun casual sex right ? Right. No.
Prompt: Your smile was a bit too wide, a bit too cheerful. Considering everything that had happened recently, Dan had every right to be concerned.
Pairing: Dan Howell x Reader
He was concerned. And rightfully so. Normally people who went through what you just went through, weren’t so… so happy. So cheerful. So okay.
Dan didn’t understand why you were. Why there was such a bright smile on your face as you chatted with Phil or him, there was no reason for it to be there. At first he’d like to think it was because of how supportive him and Phil had been, that that sweet and beautiful smile of yours was worth it and was much explained. But now… he wasn’t too sure.
Your smile was just a bit too wide. A bit too cheerful.
So, Dan had decided he was tired of watching you try to cover up your sadness, or at least that’s what he thought you were doing. He didn’t want you faking your happiness for him or Phil. He wanted your smile to be genuine, no matter how long it took.
There was just something so beautiful about your smile, it took his breath away.
So one evening, after dinner, Phil had said he would clean the dishes and you quickly excused yourself to your room. Did he mentioned that you lived with them? Anyways, he was a bit pensive about how quick you had scurried off. Almost as if just being in another’s presence was too difficult.
Nonetheless he had thanked Phil, and followed after you. As soon as he came to your door, he noticed it was shut and that there was rumbling in your room. He pressed his ear up against the door, feeling guilty but also determined, and his eyes widened when he heard the soft whimpers of your tears. He opened the door, concerned and upset, but noticed you hadn’t heard him and instead were sat on your bed. Back facing him with your head in your hands.
And Dan didn’t do anything. At least not right away. Instead he felt frozen in spot, just staring at your back in worry and sadness. He hated seeing you sad. It crushed him more than it probably crushed you.
The deepness of your sobs wretched at his heart, and the way you tried to make yourself quieter by biting in your arm sleeve made him feel sick to the stomach. Dan was so engrossed in his thoughts, he didn’t noticed you snap up and turn around, eyes red and puffy from crying, until you asked him; “how long have you been standing there?”
And he replied with a simple; “longer than you’d like.” Before he finally unfroze and walked over to you. His steps were tense and forced but only because he was scared he’d only make you more upset.
He sat quietly beside you, back straight as you sniffled, rubbing your arm against your nose. You laughed sarcastically, “pathetic aren’t I?”
Dan immediately turned to you, “no.” He said, before his eyes turned soft and he lamely placed his hand in between the two of you. He wasn’t use to this. Comforting people. He only really had to comfort Phil, and he was close enough with him to understand how he worked. He was close with you… but he’d always liked you differently. More. More because you were beautiful and Dan thought you deserved the world, and he sucked at giving you that.
“Is this about him?” He made sure not to mention any names.
You nodded, your hands falling your lamp before sighing. “I thought-” Your voice cracked, “I thought that maybe I could smile my way through and pretend… pretend it doesn’t hurt. But… oh God, Dan does it hurt.” You let out another sob.
Dan scooted closer, looking at your with pity. You hated that look. “I mean… what did i do? He said he loved me and then… Am I that worthless?”
“No!” Dan shouted, shocking the both of you. You stared at him, shocked and confused by his outburst. He seemed embarrassed by his outburst. And almost as if he wanted to change what he said before he sighed, and placed his hand in yours. You blushed from the contact, not use to being this close with anyone other than… him. “Y/N, you are not worthless. Or dumb. Or stupid. You’re none of that and rather the opposite, he’s the dumb, stupid, worthless idiot.” You couldn’t help but giggle a little at his words.
Dan smiled, happy he was able to make you laugh. You stared at him, thinking something. He stared back at you oddly, before you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was quick and short and it wasn’t long before you were facing him again, both with blushes on your cheeks. It seemed odd to place a kiss there, but you didn’t care. You needed to.
Dan seemed gaze as he smiled dreamily and stared at your eye; “I love you, and it’s killing me.”
Bound to Happen (Part 4), Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader
Prompt: The chronicles of being Lin’s assistant to maybe something more.
Author’s Note: Alright, I know this is no ‘try to assassinate Charlie, also happens to shoot Josh’ kind of drama, but this is the closest I could get with this setting. This covers the Rosslyn shooting events and a bit of what follows (the flashback Josh has of his father dying). Hope you enjoy and that it’s not too angsty.
Warnings: As always, a slow burn. Death and a broken wrist.
Usually a call from an unknown number in the middle of the afternoon on your day off would elicit a curse and a hard press to the decline button.
As your phone buzzed in your hand you couldn’t help but feel like you needed to answer it. Sighing as your thumb pressed quickly against your screen, you answered with your typical professional greeting.
“We are contacting you because you were listed as an emergency contact for a Lin-Manuel Miranda.”
The phone nearly fell from your hands. As they blabbered on about the location and his condition your mind could only tell you one thing.
Get to Lin.
You snatched your purse from the rack by your door, forcing on the first matching pair of shoes your frantic hands could find. You were out the door and hailing a cab before you were even off the phone.
You never felt more cheesy 90′s drama-esque, sprinting down a long hallway of the emergency room trying to find anything that resembled a receptionist’s desk.
Three nurses were perched around a few computers, typing away as they gossiped about doctors and patients like they were straight from Grey’s Anatomy. Panting for breath, you caught the eye of the first one.
“Can we help you?” He asked, voice strong and level.
“I got a call.” You nearly weeped, trying to steady your breath. “Lin-Manuel Miranda.” You managed, using the desk to steady your legs.
He smiled, let out the smallest laugh and you nearly reached over to slap him for mocking your worry.
“I’m sorry, they didn’t tell you over the phone?” The other nurses hushed as he spoke, wanting to know everything to know about the hysterical girl who stormed into their emergency room. “Broken wrist, nothing to worry about. The painkillers prescribed requires someone else to check him out and he specifically requested you.”
You collapsed against the desk, head lightly banging against the smooth surface. Your unshed tears immediately dried and were replaced with a sense of relief.
“I’ll show you to his room.” He grabbed a chart and moved around the desk, giving you a very nice look at him.
“Y/N!” Lin cheered happily as you approached, you glared as you stormed past the nurse, giving Lin a few good slaps to his shoulder, “Hey!”
“You are stupid and dumb and an idiot and I can’t believe you!”
The nurse stood back, stifling a laugh which was silenced when you turned your heavy gaze on him.
“It’s nothing, It’s a broken wrist!”
“You had me scared half to death, sprinting through the city streets!”
“I was gonna call my mom but I didn’t worry her-”
“So you call me to worry me?” You found home in the visitor’s chair perched next to his bed. “How did this happen?”
His shrug was enough of an answer, you wouldn’t be getting that story for awhile, and you weren’t about to force it from him.
“I’m just glad you’re okay.” You pushed yourself from the chair and into his arms, tucking your head into the crook of his neck, “Usnavi is gonna look so stupid with a cast.” You mumbled, a smile cracking across your face when you felt the rumbling of his laugh against you.
You only needed to sign a few papers and listen to the doctor drone on about the treatment plan. The nurse walked you through some things, standing just a bit too close for your liking.
You flipped to the final page, hand moving to flourish your signature.
“I noticed under your relationship to the patient, it was listed as ‘co-worker’.” He started, just as Lin made it out of the room with the doctor in tow. “So there’s nothing romantic-”
“Dude, does it look like I’m remotely in the mood to be hit on right now?” Your hand pressed the pen down harder as you practically carved your signature into the desk. “Can we go?” You asked Lin, who smirked and nodded.
You thanked the doctor and refused to meet the eye of the nurse, hustling down the hallway with Lin meeting you stride for stride. You could feel his gaze on you, and you glanced over to see him beaming in your direction.
“Nothing, I just like it when you reject losers who are clearly not worth your time.”
“Don’t think for one second that you are out of the clear, Lin-Manuel Miranda.” He winced at the harsh delivery of his full name, “We’re gonna have to sit down with Tommy and Andy and the producers and lawyers and everyone in Puerto Rico just to come to the conclusion that you’re dumb.”
He nodded, deciding he more than likely deserved the verbal beat down you were giving him, though he would feel better about it if his wrist wasn’t itching so badly.
“But you were pretty worried about me.” He pointed out as you approached the exit, “That definitely means you’re in love with me.” He grinned as you made it back to the street, ready to stuff him in a cab and return to your much deserved day off.
You hummed a response to fill the silence, waving your arm to catch the attention of the first driver you could.
“Really, Y/N.” His free hand moved to brush your arm. “Thanks for coming, I’m sorry I scared you.”
“I just-” You started, the panic settling back into your stomach, “I really thought something horrible had happened to you and maybe if I worked today you’d be fine-” His arms were around you again, pulling you close.
He shushed your whimpers, his lips hovering by your ear, whispering quiet reminders.
Suddenly his shirt was soaked with tears you didn’t want spilling.
It’s not your fault.
Opening weekend of In the Heights was one of the most frantic of Lin’s life. Interviews and parties and spotlights all shined on him and the cast that surrounded him.
The only reason he was able to stay at all grounded was you.
With a strict schedule and a million deadlines, you were his lifeline. He depended on you to remind him to breath in and out and everything else.
The only true time you spent apart was when he was on stage (I’m sure I can figure something out? Just hide under the bodega counter and read my lines to me!) and when he went home to sleep.
Even then, it was constant texts and emails with reminders and not-so-gentle suggestions for him to eat.
After their third official performance he led the cast offstage and readied himself to walk the familiar path back to his dressing room where you would surely be waiting for him.
He was surprised to see you waiting just off stage, not typing furiously on your Blackberry or taking frantic notes that he couldn’t really read.
He realized you were crying.
“What’s going on?” This was met with a choked sob.
“It’s your grandfather, Lin.”
He never needed you more than in that moment and the days that followed. It would be another few performances before he passed, and he was never able to get through ‘Alabanza’ without choking down his sobs for a month after.
You found a picture of them together when Lin lived in Puerto Rico for a summer and taped it up on his dressing room mirror.
Everyone offered their condolences to him, not certain of what else they could offer.
You certainly didn’t know what he needed - and he never asked for anything. All you could do was make sure you were waiting for him off stage, absent of anything business related, just to be there for him.
Lin never spoke of his grandfather’s death to you, he would only tell stories about him that were a bit hazy from the years.
It was the first time you had seen Lin face death up close. After, you watched Lin continue to be non-stop, death but a motivator to continue living.
He insisted you spend the day together - as if you hadn’t spent the previous day and will spend the next day attached at the hip. You obliged as he pulled away, the brush of his cast reminding you to cherish every second you had with him.
“Come on. With all the shit I put you through, the least I can do is buy you lunch.” With a laugh, your tears were wiped away and forgotten as he hailed a cab for the both of you. His loud whistle had a taxi pulled up in a second. “Where do you want to go?”