stupid assumptions

Today at school...
  • College peer:Hey, what's up?
  • Me (gesturing to my laptop):Both of my crushes are chatting with me at once, and it's kind of awesome.
  • CP:Both?
  • Me:*grin/nod*
  • CP:What do you mean both? I thought you have a boyfriend.
  • Me:I'm polyamorous.
  • CP:What does that mean?
  • Me:It means I'm not limited to just one romantic partner.
  • CP:Huh. I never thought *you* would be *that* sort of person.
  • Me:What exactly do you mean, "*that* sort of person?"
  • CP:I just always pictured you to, you know, fall in love with a man and get married and maybe go on romantic adventures with him.
  • Me:*slow jaw drop*
  • CP:*lists off more baseless and extremely personal assumptions*
  • Me:
  • CP:
  • Me:I don't have the emotional energy to deal with this right now. I'm going to go.
  • Me:*gathers my school things and leaves*
  • CP (calling out behind me):I'm sorry if I offended you.
  • Me:Thank you.
  • Me:*texts each person a brief apology for not saying goodbye*
  • One of my crushes:*texts back support*
  • Me:*feels the glow rekindle and evaporate the damp spots left by my peer's dousing*
Oh my god why.

I can’t find the original post to comment on, but.

Testosterone makes people aggressive, so it’s natural to assume males would be naturally aggressive even though that’s not the case. Even if they are, that doesn’t mean you should HIDE YO WIFE HIDE YO KIDS HE RAPIN’ ERR'BODY ALL UP IN DIS BITCH.

Especially male humans, who are perfectly capable of practicing self-control. Aggressive =/= rapist/murderer. Uuuuuggghhhhhhh.

I feel like I can only really play around or mess about as a Nigerian. I mean, my Nigerian-ness is the backbone of my jokes and bants. That’s why most (not Nigerians) see me as serious at the surface level. Assumptions are never good, though. I don’t really make assumptions about people when I first meet them, partly because I’m used to people making such blatantly off assumptions about me.

I used to be kinda vexed that people kept calling me serious, cuz it’s like, YOU DON’T KNOW MEE!!! YOU’RE NOT CORRECT!!! YOU GET NO SENSE!! If you really knew me, you know that I am someone that is forever laughing, at inappropriate times even! Like come on, son. Like, honestly, if you see me with bare Africans, or even one African, I’m more than likely laughing my head off, you know.

But now, it’s like, I don’t even care that much, cuz I know that it’s cuz these people no be omo Naija, omo Ghana, or omo Africa, lol. 

Plus my resting face does not help matters, I look unfriendly. I know this, and I’ve confirmed it with multiple people, but hey, what can I do? Be forever smiling?? Fun kini? I can never do that…I will smile when I greet you, I will smile when I’m talking with you, I will smile when I say goodbye, finish. 

I may be the only one hoping this, but I'm honestly hoping Jamie or Lily clear this whole situation up this weekend.

The amount of stress this whole debacle causes me is both stupid and unnecessary.

Like, I should be worrying and stressing more about the final grades of the first half of the summer semester, not about a fucking Hollywood relationship.  

I could easily be annoyed at the amount of people who misinterpret my self-love for either vanity, selfishness, ignorance or self-indulgence.

None of it is true and if anyone bothered to see beyond that, you would obviously know that I’m too damn chill to even be self-indulgent. I care too much about others. There is a difference. I celebrate my being and I love myself. I’m not up myself.  

I can’t stop anyone from making stupid assumptions about me but I can, however, decide on whether I choose to allow their perception to be of an importance to me. I have no mind over this matter. I have other things to think about and I’m looking forward to every single one of them.

Love yourdamnself because self-appreciation is just as important.

Annoying Day at Work

Lady: I need to get a cake.

Me: When do you need it?

Lady: uhhh, now?

Me:… uh, yeah, no.

Lady: Why not?

Me: I’m not the decorator.

Lady: It doesn’t look that hard.

Me: I don’t have the code to print out the image, but our decorator can make the cake for you in the morning.

Lady: Okay, I need it by 8:30 am.

Me: That’s not going to be possible, she doesn’t get here until 9am.

Lady: Fine, then like, 9:15am?

Me: More like 10am, since she will need to get everything together to make your cake.

Lady: *stare*… .  *exasperated sigh*

… .


anonymous asked:

Zina doesn't have a boyfriend, for what it's worth. She had one last year, but she hasn't been seen with him since late 2012. The photos from the D&G party of them kissing are from July 2012, not 2013. So yeah, just clearing that up: she's single. I honestly think Jamily is broken up, given Jamie's girlfriend history... and well, oh well. As long as they're professional about it, nothing should matter.

Before I say anything, I greatly appreciate you being very civil and nice in this message. After seeing some of the messages received by other blogs in regards to this whole hoopla, it really means a lot.

I’ve seen quite a few blogs that say she has one and saying that she was seen at the D&G event with him. This is the first that says otherwise. I personally didn’t see anything that said she did or did not have a boyfriend, so I really don’t know what to make of it.

I don’t know a whole lot about Jamie’s “record" when it comes to dating, but I am aware that he dates frequently and he started dating Lily not too long after separating from Bonny. Although I do frown at that, that may just be how he copes with heartbreak. I know that a similar coping method is encouraged when a dog dies: get a puppy. Granted, the circumstances are very different. 

I don’t really have an opinion on the matter of a breakup. If they separate, they separate. If they’re together and the whole situation is a giant misunderstanding, then that’s the case. In fact, And I do completely agree with you: as long as they’re professional, it should not matter. It’s also technically none of my business as it’s their relationship, not mine. I’m just tired of people saying “he’s a cheater", calling Zina a “slut", and boohooing over a separation that has or has not been confirmed or denied. 

All in all, thank you very much for informing me. It is very much appreciated. I apologize for this lengthy response (I more or less sorted out my opinion on the matter without really noticing at first).