Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Characters: Jim Kirk, Chris Kirk
Pairing: Background McKirk
Warnings: Stupid assumptions
Kirk is in his office again.
And clearly not by choice, if the horrific pout on his face is anything to go by.
“Cadet,” Chris greets neutrally, thumbing the door shut behind him and stepping forward to hook the strap of his satchel over the arm of the small couch.
“Captain Pike,” Jim huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“To what do I owe the pleasure this time Kirk?”
Kirk scowls and scuffs at the floorboards with the toe of his boot. Chris strides past him and flicks his desk monitor on, undoing the top magnetic buckle of his jacket as he stands back up straight.
“Well spit it out son, I don’t have all day.”
“I got another demerit,” Kirk mutters all most too quiet to hear.
“Colour me shocked,” Chris deadpans, sitting down with his annoyance plastered clearly on his face. “What did you do this time?”
“I mentioned that Cadet Poldo is hot in front of Commander Poldo. I hadn’t even realised she was there until she suddenly started screeching at me about “being inappropriate”.”
Having heard of Commander Margaret Poldo’s reputation, Chris suspects Jim might actually be using sarcastic air quotes correctly for once in his life. He decides not to mention it though, lest he accidently bolster the boy’s ego further.
“Cadet Poldo?” Chris asks instead. “I didn’t know Margaret Poldo had a daughter.”
Jim looks at him bemusedly.
“Erm, she doesn’t sir?”
“But you just said-?“
“That Cadet Poldo is hot. Anthony Daniel Poldo, the Commander’s eldest son.”
Chris really wants to say something intelligent, but unfortunately his brain and mouth seem to have temporarily disconnected. And Kirk watching him gape like a naive Plebe is not helping matters.
“So… Not a girl then,” he finally manages to get out just as Kirk starts to snigger out loud.
“Sorry- it’s just that-” Kirk gasps out, breaking into full blown laughter. “Oh my god your face.”
“Oh shut-up son,” Chris grumbles, thoroughly embarrassed. “I’m supposed to be telling you off.”
“How could you forget non-heterosexual people exist when you’re flagrantly pansexual!” Kirk howls through his tears of laughter. “You’re married to another man and you just- oh god, I can’t!”
“I thought you were straight!” Chris exclaims indignantly. “I know it probably wasn’t particularly sensible of me, but I just assumed!”
“23rd century,” Kirk hiccups, still shaking mirthfully, “and he just assumed! Nova, was the shameless flirting with you and anyone else sapient not obvious enough for you? Hell, you caught me trying to shove my hands up Bones’ shirt that one time, and it still didn’t occur to you!?”
“Wait is that what you two were doing in my teaching room last term!? Oh god I’m going to have to bleach everything.”
Jim pauses and then breaks out in a fresh peel of laughter.
“Oh just get out of my office you menace,” Chris sighs with his head now in his hands.
“I’m gonna start calling you Captain oblivious,” Kirk snickers loudly, leaning down to pick his bag up.
“Out!” Chris barks with a finger pointed at the door.
“Actually,” Kirk smirks as he walks out backwards, hands in finger guns “I think you’ll find that I was already out, but you just didn’t notice.”
Chris throws his pan-pride coloured stress ball at Kirk’s head.