stunning robin

I just got back from seeing the Lego Batman Movie and I just got a stunning realization.

Robin was convinced that Batman and Bruce were two separate people and were roommates kinda. And Batman even said that the two were “sharing custody” while Robin said that he had “two dad’s”.

So during the whole first half of the movie, Robin could have been imagining Bruce and Batman together as a married gay couple.

That’s astonishing.

10 LGBTQA+ reads to pick up in 2017

1. Our Own Private Universe—Robin Talley

This stunning novel from Robin Talley drops at the end of January, and follows fifteen-year-old Aki as she explores her sexuality. She’s always known she was bisexual, but so far has only dated guys. When she goes on a four-week youth mission trip to Mexico with her BFF, her mind isn’t on dating, but then she meets Christa and everything changes. This book will wrap itself around your heart and squeeze until you are left with nothing but gooey feels.  

2. History Is All You Left Me—Adam Silvera

When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend Theo dies in a tragic drowning accident, his world is flipped upside down. Even though Theo had moved on—heading to college in California and seeing someone new, a guy named Jackson—Griffin had always imagined they’d find their way back to each other. This book explores grief and its effect on Griffin’s OCD…and what happens when the only person who could possibly understand you is the person who stole away your ex.

3. Dead Little Mean Girl—Eva Darrows

What really makes a mean girl tick? Quinn Littleton was a skinny blonde social terrorist in stilettos, and now she’s dead. Proud geek girl Emma had been enjoying a quiet life playing video games and staying off the radar until her mom announced she was happily moving in with Quinn’s mom…and Emma’s new nightmare of a stepsister. Now that Quinn is dead, Emma is finding out there was more to Quinn than was obvious at first bite. Eva Darrows busts stereotypes in this novel, including what the traditional family looks like. Look for it on bookshelves March 28.

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Robin Hood is actually a video game player that isn’t good at stealth games.

So, like, the reason he became an outlaw is because, one time, there was this archery competition at Nottingham, and he was like “well I sure know how to shoot an arrow from a bow, might as well go get the gold and some panties”, but in the way, he happens upon some foresters, the Medieval equivalent of “sheriff but there’s too many of them”, and they see Robin, a rather scrawny lad, and they are like “there is NO WAY this little twerp has the meat to even DRAW a bow, what a NIMROD”, so Robin doesn’t exactly like their tone, and he takes issue, telling them “alright man, you see that deer over there 100 yards away? I bet you fifteen Medieval Currencies I can shoot that sucker right between the eyes” and the foresters are like “there is no fucking way mate” but, it turns out, there was a fucking way, mate, ‘cause Robin nailed it like a champ.

The numerous sheriffs were less than graceful and basically said “RIGHT-O, SO YOU EITHER LEAVE OR WE SHOOT YOU”, to which Robin said “k” and he left EXCEPT HE DIDN’T, THE SUBTERFUGE-FILLED EEL, he just camped nearby and tailed them. Turns out, it is a Poor Decision to piss off someone who can shoot deer from 100 yards away, because they tend to have GOOD AIM, which ol’ Robin demonstrated time and again by blasting their heads open with arrows.

Now this is kinda weird but he like tied a rope or something to his last arrow, intended for the last forester, it’s not exactly clear, but the thing is, he BROUGHT the guy to him with a shot from his bow, making Robin the first Roadhog main in history. While he lay vulnerable and stunned before Robin, Hoodie basically says “BITCH” and splits his head open with an arrow.

THE PROBLEM: This happened near Nottingham. so people heard. Robin killed those people too because Leave No Witnesses is a tried and true tactic. THE PROBLEM 2: PEOPLE KEPT HEARING, PEOPLE KEPT COMING, ROBIN KEPT KILLING THEM. My guy killed about half of fucking Nottingham by the end of it. After THAT kinda butchery, not a lot of career paths are open for you except “psychopath” and “outlaw”.

Long story short, Robin Hood is a very violent Metal Gear Solid 3 player.

@annytecture You asked me for a fic where Zelena curses David, Robin, and Killian to be without shirts and Cruella ogles them…so, here’s some nonsense for you. Enjoy!

They were standing in the middle of the street, in that sad excuse for Storybrooke, all dark corners and ruined edifices. Zelena’s laughter rang out against the buildings as she waved her hand in the air dramatically. Suddenly, their shirts disappeared in three clouds of green smoke, leaving them exposed from the waist up.

“What the-?” Robin asked.

“Bloody hell woman, give us back our clothing!” Killian yelled, his face twisted into a scowl.

Zelena just stood there smiling with her hands on her hips, as her eyes made a cool appraisal of their half-naked forms, her little black hat tilting down as her head moved.

“Now why would I do that? I’m just trying to improve the scenery around here. You can’t argue with that now, can you?” She gestured to the town.

The boys all looked at one another, sharing annoyed glances. Cruella, in all her stark black-and-white finery and crimson lips, came sauntering up behind Zelena, resting one hand on her shoulder.

“Well done, darling. I must say the scenery is greatly improved,” she purred as the ladies smiled at one another.

Then she turned her attention on the men. “Sheriff Chiseled-Chin, I had no idea you had such a chiseled chest as well, or I would have demanded you show me all your qualifications much sooner.” She eyed him up and down, biting her lip as Charming crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously.

“And who knew that Forest Rangers had those guns hiding beneath their shirts?” She tsked at Robin. “Must have been all that bow and arrow action, absolutely stunning darling.” Robin only turned his head away, exasperated.

“But, I must say, Captain Sexyhook might be the finest, don’t you agree, Zelena?” She walked right up to him and Killian stood his ground, unflinching.  “All that glorious chest hair, leading down, down, down over washboard abs…” She dragged a pointed nail down his torso, before Killian caught her hand and squeezed it roughly. “And so very feisty!” she noted, shaking her shoulders back and forth as if she were pleased with herself.

“That’s enough!” Charming cut in. “We can find ourselves new clothing, but this is ridiculous Zelena, just give them back.”

“Ah ah ah, not so easy boys. You forget we’re in the Underworld and there aren’t exactly clothing stores open.” She laughed at her own joke. “I’ll leave it up to you to figure out how to break the curse. Until then, it’s not as if you’re going to get cold, we are in Hell, after all.”

She gave them all one last admiring glance before turning away, laughing. Cruella followed suit.

The boys stood there dumbfounded, looking at one another.

“Captain Sexyhook?” Charming deadpanned, and Robin chuckled.

“I’m not the one who goes around calling himself Prince Charming,” Killian countered, gesturing to him with his hook.

“Come on, boys, let’s go find Regina and your ladies and see if anything can be done about this,” Robin offered, clapping Killian on the shoulder.

“I have an inkling what they might want to do about it,” Killian said, breaking into a smug grin and raising one eyebrow.

They walked for a bit before Charming turned to Robin, eyeing him. “Your biceps really are pretty ripped, Robin. Nice work.”

“Thanks, mate. Your chest is impressive as well,” he offered with a smile.

They both turned to Killian.

Killian ran his hand down his torso in the same path Cruella took. “I know, I know. I’m ridiculously handsome. But I’m afraid it’s hands off for you boys.” He shook his finger at them.

Charming groaned, rolling his eyes and Robin just laughed, shaking his head.

“Worst. Curse. Ever!” Charming exclaimed.

I keep seeing headcanons where Cass Cain has a bare room with no decorations, but allow me to go in the opposite direction…

-Cass Cain’s room is a fucking mess. Blankets and clothes thrown everywhere. There are 5 and a half pairs of shoes under her bed.

-Posters hung up everywhere. She doesn’t care what half of them are about, she just likes the way they look.

-She has a manilla folder full of her favorite drawings Damian has done. He doesn’t know she has this folder. He has no idea where his art is going.

-There’s a rose in a glass vase on her dresser, which she takes perfect care of.

-She also keeps the golden angel statue Azrael gave her on her dresser.

-She has a secret chest in her closet full of random superhero shit. Some of Bruce’s batarangs, one of Dick’s wingdings, some loose bullets she stole from Jason, a spare mask of Damian’s, an old utility belt of Tim’s, Steph’s old thigh pouch, one of Harper’s smaller stun guns, and Duke’s Robin jacket. Among other things that belong to other heroes.

-Three separate dog and cat themed calendars are hanging on her wall.

-A small whiteboard that she uses for writing practice sometimes.