stumbling sober

anonymous asked:

For cassian prints maybe cassian telling nesta that they are mates.

It had been one hell of a day. He swirled his amber drink.

He was lucky and he knew it. He knew that even through the trials and tribulations that the Cauldron and Mother were looking out for him. It was just enough, the balance of shit and the balance of good. His wings would heal, he knew they would and the healers knew they would. It would have been easier for the damage to occur a hundred years ago or even during the first wave of the pending war. But convenient was not always a part of life.

He was still a commander. There was still a war to plan. Wings to heal. A mate to heal.

He knew deep down she was not as broken as Feyre or as broken as Elain had recently become. But there was still damage, it was her stubbornness that refused to allow her to break at the same level.

Cauldron a mate. If it was not for their mother, he would have never known Illyrians could mate. She had been the only Illyrian he knew to mate. He had a feeling that their backwards ways were to blame. Never leaving their mountains, even their clans.

Nesta Fucking Archeron was his mate. Equals … that they were. They both had walls. Hers were of the steel and ice type. His were full of arrogance and laughter. Squints and smirks. They lived and died to protect those they loved.

Speaking of the hell cat. He had to chuckle at that thought, yes was as much a hellcat as his mother was a wildcat. Neither took no for an answer.

“I see you are drowning your sorrows.”

“No sweetheart, just taking the edge off, care for a glass?”

“You would offer me a glass?”

He was a little shocked at her response. It must have read in his face.

“In the human realm females are dolls, only good for one thing. Alcohol is not something you waste on a female.”

“No better time than the current.”

They went glass for glass. And with each glass, the ice around Nesta melted. She was beautiful and behind that she was caring. So damn caring. He wanted to murder her parents, the so called family friends, and a very stupid human boy. He said as much.

“Why do you care?”

“Because Nesta, you are my mate and even if you were not, the people that hurt you deserve to be hurt. Because they never saw you. They never saw the girl that cared. They never saw that girl. They could not see beyond their selfish needs to see your heart. So instead they broke it over and over again, until you built walls so high, that you could only love Elain and Feyre.”

Shit. Did he say mate. Shit. Shit. Shit.


Well that confirmed it. Shit.

He stumbled over his own words, he would have stumbled sober. “You still have a choice. Just because we are mates, does not mean you have to accept the bond. And honestly, I do not want you to accept it until you are sure. I do not want you to accept it unless you love me. I would be honored if you chose me, if you accepted it.”

She paused a moment, contemplating, her nose scrunched just like Feyre’s. “I want the same from you.”

How did she not know?

“Sweetheart, I have loved you since you kicked me in the balls.”

Remind Me When I'm Sober

You stumble into the living room of the tower and laugh, louder than you meant to. It was Natasha’s Bachelorette party and things had gotten a bit out of hand. Nat had seemed fine but you were definitely drunk. You reach for a glass and watch as it slips slow motion out of your grasp. A silver hand catches it when it’s level with your belly button.
“Hey.” Bucky says softly, his eyes tired, “Are you okay?”
“Oh my god. Bucky. Buck Buck Bucky.” You loudly whisper. “Hi.”
“Are you okay?” He asks again looking concerned.
“Oh yes. I’m feeling floaty!” You giggle and grab his metal arm, “I love this thing. It’s so bad ass. Like wow. I mean wow.”
“Were you at Nat’s party?”
“Maaaaaaybe.” You draw out the word looking up at him through your lashes. “You are so handsome Bucky.” You admit poking his chest. You were kind of keeping that to yourself until now apparently.
“How much did you drink?”
“As much as Nat. Vodka. I love vodka.”
“Alright, let’s get you some water.” He says pulling the glass from the counter and putting it away. He grabs one of the plastic ones that Sam brought, the Avengers Edition ones from some food chain. It’s got Hawkeye’s face on it.
“Oh hey! It’s Natasha’s lover! I wish you were my lover.” You blurt as he passes you the cup. You drink from it then pass it back.
“All of it.” He commands giving it back to you.
“Buckeroo.” You say after taking a pull of the water, “I know you hate me but I love you. I think you’re so, so great. Like so great. And your metal arm is so sexy! And your long hair looks so soft I just wanna, ugh!” You admit and he stares at you in surprise.
“You, you love me?”
“Hell yes I do Buckers.” You affirm.
“What are the chances you remember this in the morning?”
“I dunno. I like it when you call me doll. Why don’t you do that anymore?” You murmur tracing a finger along one of the joints in his arm.
“Can you repeat this to me when your sober?”
“Remind me.” You say running your finger along the red star by his shoulder.
“Okay, I can say hey doll,” you hum in appreciation, “I know this might be embarrassing but will you tell me you love me again?”
“I like it when you call me doll.” You mutter and he laughs softly.
“Finish your water doll. I want to get you to bed.”
“We’re going to bed?” You look up at him hopeful.
“Yea, you in your bed. Me in mine.”
“I knew it. You hate me.”
“No I don’t. Quite the opposite actually but if I spend the night in your bed it’s going to be hard for me to keep my hands off of you. And there’s this thing called consent and you can’t give it when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.” You pout and he chuckles again.
“Yes you are doll. I’m pretty glad you are because now I know you love me.”
“Who told you that?” You demand in surprise.
“You did.”
“I did?”
“Yea doll.” He’s got a grin on his face that’s contagious, you smile back at him. “Did you finish the whole cup?”
“I don’t want more.” You pout.
“You don’t want a hangover in the morning either.”
“Will you cuddle with me until I sleep?”
“If you finish your water.”
“Okay.” You agree finishing the last of your water. You put the cup gently in the sink then take his arm and let him lead you to your room. Your feet don’t seem to want to cooperate like normal and you trip over the change from tile to carpet. Bucky keeps you upright then bends down with a soft sigh and picks you up, cradling you against him. When he enters your room he sets you gently on the bed and you peel off your shoes then the tight skirt you’d worn out. You glance up, only then remembering Bucky was in the room and see that he’s turned around, his back facing you. You giggle and pull the tight top and your bra off pulling your large tshirt on then flopping onto the bed to tug on your shorts you hear him laugh softly.
“Are you wearing clothes again?”
“Yes.” You huff and true to his word Bucky lays down next to you on your bed. You loop an arm around his waist and rest your head on his chest. He doesn’t seem uncomfortable. Maybe just surprised. You sigh contentedly then drift off to sleep.
When you wake your head is pounding and someone else is in your bed. Who is in your bed? You crack your eyes open and are stunned to see Bucky staring down at you.
“Morning doll.” His mouth turns up at your confused expression.
“Why are you here?”
“I tried to leave but every time I went to go you’d let out this sad little noise and I couldn’t leave. I felt too bad.”
“But why are you here?”
“You asked me to come. How much do you remember?”
“I remember the limo dropping me off and Jarvis letting me in. You gave me some water and we talked about-” oh god. You told him you loved him, and that you liked when he called you doll. Oh god. Oh shit.
“Hey doll. I know this might be embarrassing but will you tell me you love me again?”
“Shit. Oh shit Bucky, I’m sorry.” You say covering your face with your hands.
“Is it true? Or was that just drunk you?”
“It’s true.” You mutter.
“Good.” You look up at him in surprise and he presses his lips to yours. “I love you too.”

Fix This

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories;
Sam and Dean Series            Requests and Stand Alones    
Lil Winchester             Heart Song
A Love She Never Knew          Dear Diary
High School Sweethearts       Reader Title Challenge
Enjoy my lovelies.
Fix This

Anonymous said to 5minutefanfiction:

Can you make an imagine where the reader kill Lisa in an accident?Dean(her boyfriend) gets very angry and say horrible things to her, like Lisa worths more than her?So she send her soul to bring her back, and when Dean discover it he feels very guilt

Authors Note:

WORD COUNT: some light Sunday reading, or Monday reading just not while your at school. :D 6400

Dean’s other, other cell rang and Y/N searched trying to find it. She had stayed behind from this last hunt due to recovering from the flu. While she was fine now, she was still a bit flat. She eventually found it under the bed, it looked like it had fallen from his duffle.

She frowned at the 12 missed calls, all from Lisa. She knew who she was and what she had meant to Dean. But from what he had told her it was over and there was nothing left between them. The phone rang again and Y/N answered, not knowing what else to do. To call that often was usually a bad sign.

‘Dean?’ a young male voice cried.

‘No, Dean’s friend. Who’s this?’

‘Ben. I need Dean.’

‘He’s not here, but I can try and find him. Have him call you?’

‘Do that. Quickly.’

‘Ben, are in you trouble? I can help. I work with Dean.’

Y/N frowned, she knew the kid had become attached to Dean, but something about his voice made her blood run cold.

‘You do what he does?’


‘Something’s after Mum.’

‘Ok, I can help with that. I’m going to get in my car now and come over. My names Y/N. Can you tell me more about what it is?’

Ben gave her the details, and from what Y/N could tell it was a demon. She gave Ben some instructions, grabbing her duffle from under her and Dean’s bed she packed up and headed out, calling Dean from the road. His cell went straight to message bank.

‘Baby, I need you to call me. Something’s come up and you’re not going to like it.’

She drove for an hour before calling again. It wasn’t like him not to take her calls. The guy answered even if he was in the middle of a kill. Not that it happened often, the two were inseparable and she was usually by his side. They had been together for a good couple of years, friends for longer.

‘Dean, please. Call.’

She called Sam’s mobile and he answered straight the way.

‘Where’s Dean?’

‘Here, why?’

‘All I’m getting is his message bank.’

‘Ah yeah his phone’s died. He was going to call you in a minute and let you know. And he’s lost his other cell.’

‘I’ve got that.’

Sam put Dean on.

‘Hey gorgeous, I’m so sorry. Hope you didn’t worry to much.’

‘That’s not what I’m stressed about.’

She sighed and explained the call. She heard the line go quiet.


‘You’re heading there now?’

‘Yeah. I’ve given Ben the basic run down on keeping safe. I’m about 3 hours out.’

‘Find a motel, sit tight. I’ll deal with it.’

‘Dean you’re at least six hours away. The kids scared out of his mind and I’m not sure how long he can hold this thing off.’

Dean went quiet.

‘Be careful Y/N,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can.’

‘Always. I know you will. I love you.’

‘Love you too Sweetheart. Keep me updated.’

‘Sure I’ll leave you a message.’

‘Smart arse,’ he chuckled.

She could hear him throwing things into his bag. He’d be there well before the six hours was up.

Y/N arrived and Ben let her inside. She found Lisa in the kitchen and she was a mess.

‘He tried, it tried. Oh my God,’ Lisa cried.

‘Yeah, these things do this. I’m sorry to bring it up but I need to know who it possessed last time it attacked.’

Y/N got more answers from Ben than she did Lisa. Which wasn’t surprising.

‘So her boyfriends trying to kill her?’ she summarised.

‘Demon boyfriend.’

‘What’s he like otherwise?’

‘A total douche.’

Y/N grinned, he definitely looked up to Dean.

‘Sweet ride,’ he commented looking out the window at her mustang.

‘Yeah, it’s not bad.’

She wrote down Sam’s number and handed it to Ben.

‘If anything happens, this is Dean’s brother. Dean’s with him, he’s just having technical difficulties right now with his phone. But he’s on the way here.’

They heard a crash and Y/N swore.

‘I forgot to salt the laundry door,’ Ben cried.

‘Run, hide, call Sam,’ Y/N told him, grabbing her angel blade and moving out.

She moved into the back room and came face to face with six demons. She watched as one of them held Lisa by the neck, their grip tightening as she struggled.

‘Winchesters old slut and his new one, this will be a good night.’

Y/N smiled at them.

‘Well, its going to be fun, that’s for sure.’

A demon attacked Y/N from behind and she swung stabbing him in the chest. She engaged in a fight with the demons that were left. The fight was brutal, she had cuts and bruises, a stab wound to her thigh that just missed her artery, and several other near misses. Pushing it all to the back of her mind, ignoring the pain, she pushed herself. There was no choice. She had to save her.

Not realising that she was moving further away from Lisa. She looked up and saw the demon getting ready to break her neck. Knowing she wouldn’t reach Lisa in time, she threw her blade at the demon and whistled. The demon turned to look at her, the blade was on par to get him in the chest. But then tragedy struck, another wave of demons came through the door slamming it into Lisa, pushing her into the blades trajectory. She didn’t stand a chance.

Y/N screamed as it went into her chest.

‘Lisa!’ Dean screamed from behind Y/N, pushing past her.
Y/N dropped to the floor in shock. She had never taken a human life before, hell she struggled if they hit a rabbit on the road. And now she had blood on her hands, Lisa’s blood. The demons moved towards Y/N but she didn’t care. Dean looked back at her, nothing but hatred in his eyes. He turned back to Lisa and continued to cry over her lifeless body. Sam fought the demon’s off before trying to console Y/N.

Three weeks later, they had buried Lisa and sent Ben to live with his Grandparents. Dean had refused to speak to Y/N. He refused to talk to anyone. The only thing he did was drink.

Y/N knocked on the bedroom door, kicking her stuff to one side. Dean had thrown everything into the hallway. Their relationship was over. She opened the door and took in his appearance.

‘Dean, can you please let me exp-.’

‘Explain? You want to give me details on how you killed her?’

‘No, not like that. I wasn’t …I wasn’t aiming for her, the demon-.’

‘I don’t want to hear it Y/N.’

‘I fought to keep her alive Dean.’

‘Was that before or during the blade you threw into her heart.’

Y/N burst into tears.

‘Dean,’ she pleaded.

‘I can’t believe you killed her. She didn’t deserve to die Y/N!’

‘I know she didn’t.’

‘Did you? Because it certainly didn’t look that way!’ he yelled.

Y/N looked at her once loving, doting boyfriend. She got he was hurting. She knew she was the cause. But surely he saw that she didn’t aim for Lisa, that her death was an accident.

‘Dean,’ she cried, moving towards him.

‘Go to hell Y/N. I don’t want anything to do with you. We’re done. I should never have left her. Never have given her up for something so worthless.’


‘Yes worthless,’ he sneered. ‘She’s worth more, even dead. Than you will ever be.’

Y/N was hit with another wave of tears.

‘It should have been you that died Y/N,’ he growled.

She couldn’t take it anymore. Y/N left, she jumped in her car and drove off.

After another couple of weeks of drinking, Dean finally sobered up. Stumbling out of the room he tripped on Y/N’s stuff outside his bedroom door, he had no idea why it was there. He only remembered bits and pieces of the past few weeks. He knew they had fought, but he couldn’t remember much.

He walked into the library, to be met by Sam’s glare.


‘You’re a dick, you know that right?’


‘Telling Y/N she was worthless, that you wished she had of died.’

Dean groaned. He thought he had dreamt that.

‘You don’t think she’s suffering enough? Do you even remember what happened?’

Dean went to leave but Sam stopped him.

‘She threw the blade at the demon trying to kill Lisa, the demons barging through the door pushed Lisa in the way. If it wasn’t for that, Y/N would have taken out the demon and Lisa would have lived. Y/N almost died that day too. She was losing too much blood when we got there. If I hadn’t of sewn her up you would have lost them both,’ Sam growled at him.

Dean went looking for another bottle, he didn’t need to hear this. He didn’t want to hear this or face it.

‘We’re out.’

Dean went looking for his keys to go buy some more.

‘Check your messages first,’ Sam sighed. ‘At least while your sober.’

Sam left the room, leaving Dean looking at his cell. He dialled the message bank and listened there were two messages. The first one from Y/N.

‘She’s back.’

The second was a voice that brought tears to his eyes.

‘Dean? I got a message to call you. Said you would explain. What’s going on? Where’s Ben?’ Lisa’s voice came through his speaker.

Dean dropped his phone and slumped into the chair. Guilt washing over him. For Lisa to be back it only meant one thing. Y/N had made a deal. He threw his phone across the room. Anger and guilt washing over him.

After he calmed down a bit he found his other cell and rang Y/N, the phone call going straight to her message bank.

‘Damn it Y/N, how the hell could you be so stupid? What did you do? I never wanted this, you know that. I wouldn’t… not you,’ his voice started off angry, before he couldn’t take it anymore, he burst into tears. ‘Come home, we will fix it.’

He looked up to see Sam in the door way, watching as his little brother paled as he explained what Y/N had most likely done.

Sam got to work on trying to find Y/N. Dean left for Lisa’s. He wanted to explain it all in person.

He arrived and wrapped Lisa into a hug. It was so good to see her alive. He breathed her in and felt a stab of pain in his chest. It wasn’t the same. Not like holding Y/N. His heart didn’t skip a beat, his breath didn’t hitch, his body didn’t melt like it did with Y/N. The only thing he felt was guilt that is was Lisa in his arms and not Y/N.

He told Lisa what happened, all of it. The entire truth. She didn’t take it too well and kicked him out. Threatening to call the police if he ever came near her again.

Dean called Sam as he left, hoping he had a lead on Y/N. He had nothing. Dean prayed she hadn’t traded her life for Lisa, that it was a 10 year deal. That he had time to fix it. He knew though, even if she was dead. He’d fix things some how.

Over the next month they heard stories of a new hunter in the game, one that was brutal, no remorse, nothing. Dean considered it was Y/N, but both he and Sam agreed based on what they had heard it was too cruel for her. Even they felt sorry for some of the things this hunter had killed. They weren’t always quick about it.

They continued hunting, moving around, taking cases that she would have. Hoping to find her. Nothing else was working and they were getting desperate.

They moved through the old house, looking for the vamps that had been on a killing spree through the small town. They spotted them all gathered in a room and were about to break through the door when they watched as someone dropped from the ceiling taking on the vampires, killing them with ease. The style was unique, and they would have picked it anywhere. The only thing that made them second guess it, was the look on the face of the woman now standing among headless bodies.

‘Y/N?’ Dean cried.

He watched as she gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. She’d changed. Her face was emotionless, her once long hair now sat just below her shoulders in waves. Her outfit was revealing. Not the normal tank top and jeans. This wasn’t the woman he loved.

‘Hey, great seeing you,’ she muttered, screwing up her face. ‘But if you don’t mind, get lost.’

Sam’s jaw dropped. Dean looked just as shocked.

‘We’ve been looking for you.’

‘Right. Not sure why, what you want’s in Battle Creek.’

Y/N turned her attention back to the victim in the room.

‘Hey honey,’ she smiled sweetly.

Dean watched as her face changed as she ran her eye’s over the young girl.

‘Can I go home, please?’ she cried.

‘Yeah, of course. I’ll call your parents and we can get you out of here and to safety.’

The girl sobbed with relief. Dean watched carefully, not sure what was happening. It sounded like Y/N. But her eyes looked like something different.

‘It’s probably better if you close your eyes though, while I clean up the mess, it will get pretty gruesome.’

The young girl no older than 16 closed her eyes, and Y/N swung taking her head off.

‘Y/N!’ Dean screamed.

‘What the hell?’ Sam cried. ‘She was a kid.’

‘Toughen up princess. She had been infected. I’m cleaning up the mess. God anyone would think you hadn’t hunted before.’

‘We have a cure, you knew that,’ Dean growled. ‘You’re the one searching for a cure for everything.’

He grabbed her arm and slammed her against the wall, really looking at her. Something was clearly wrong.

‘And how wrong was I? I mean seriously Dean, this is so much quicker and I have another hunt to go to. You know time restraints and all.’

She pushed him out the way and walked out. Leaving both men staring after her.

‘What the hell was that?’ Dean asked.

‘Who was that?’

‘That’s not my girl, Sam.’

‘No it wasn’t.’

‘Even if she cut a deal, she wouldn’t do that.’

Dean looked over at the young woman now lying in her own pool of blood. There’s no way she would do that.

They cleaned up and went to the local bar. Dean’s eyes darkened as he spotted her, dancing with some sleeze. His eyes widened as he looked at her outfit. Super short black leather skirt. Her shirt was sleeveless, loose and flowing, it crossed over at the front and showed her bra and breasts as she moved. Her heels making her legs look long and lean. Damn she looked hot. But it wasn’t her and he knew that. She didn’t even own those types of clothes.

He watched as the guy ran his hands along her body and Dean lost it. He stormed over there and grabbed her arm and pulled her with him. Not bothering to say anything.

‘Just cos she’s shut up shop doesn’t mean I’m willing to jump back in the sack with you Winchester,’ she spat, downing a shot.

‘That’s not why I’m here,’ he growled.

‘Why are you here?’

‘To fix this, you, us. I was a jerk.’

‘Apology accepted. Answers no. I’m actually loving my life right now.’

‘You killed an innocent girl Y/N. There’s no way you’d love that. No way, my girl, would love that,’ Dean hissed in her ear.

Y/N smirked at him and pushed herself into Dean’s arms. Dean felt that familiar pull to her he never got with Lisa.

‘I’m not your girl Sweetheart. You made that choice. You got everything you wanted. And now I’m enjoying what life I have left. So unless you are going to have me screaming your name tonight you need to piss off.’

She went to step back, when Dean tightened his grip around her waist, holding her against him.

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

‘I have plans and your ruining it,’ she spat, pushing him off her.

Dean watched as she walked back over the guy from earlier and climbed onto his lap. He watched as the guy pushed his hands into her shirt, followed by his face. Dean was gripping the bottle of beer that tight he thought it would break.

‘We need Cas,’ Sam frowned.

‘We need to lock her up.’

‘Good luck there.’

They watched as she led the bloke outside and down an alley. Dean followed and his jealousy got the better of him. He yanked the guy off her and decked him. Knocking him out with one punch. The look that Y/N gave him actually scared Dean. He called for Cas and had him transport them to the bunker. Where Dean tied her to a chair.

Cas moved to check Y/N’s mind, to see if she was ok, or under the influence of anything.

‘This is rather amusing and all, but I would have told if you asked,’ Y/N told them.

‘Fine. What the hell are you?’

‘Dead. Well, will be in oh a week. It’s rather poetic really, dying the day you are born. Now if you don’t mind. I have plans.’

‘What?’ Dean cried, his voice small and breaking.

‘You honestly think that Lisa came back all by herself? You’re an idiot. The strings I had to pull to get her here. I really do hope you are banging the crap out of her, Dean. Made it worth my while. Especially since because you hated me, I had no leverage. Taking my life wasn’t of benefit to anyone.’

Dean’s blood ran cold.

‘What did you do?’

‘Gave them my soul. Got my meat suit top side leave for a few months, tie up loose ends all that. Nothing major. How is Lisa?’

Dean felt the tears running down his face. She had sold her soul.

‘You sold your soul?’

‘Gave. Big difference. It was all I could do. Now untie me.’

‘Sorry Baby. I think it’s best if you stay put until I can figure this out.’

‘You’re funny. There is no figuring this out. I’m not even sure why you care. She’s alive, I’m almost dead. It’s exactly what you want.’

‘No it’s not. I was mad Y/N, I was stupid. I never should have said it. I would never want you dead. You know that.’

‘Sure. If you’re not going to untie me can you at least kill me. I’m not wanting the whole mutt thing.’

Dean paled, ‘No!’

‘There’s just no pleasing you,’ she growled.

Dean walked out, he couldn’t take anymore. It was all too much.

‘Crowley?’ Sam suggested.

They went off to call him and try to convince him to fix this. Y/N had helped him out of a few predicaments in the past. They were hoping they could cash it in. They didn’t have much luck. It wasn’t that he was unwilling to help, it was that whoever took her soul and had a claim over her body was a rouge demon.

Dean went back into the dungeon and found it empty. He swore and ran through the bunker looking for her. But it was too late, she was gone.

Crowley came through after a while, handing Dean a jar with Y/N’s soul in it.
‘She owes me,’ Crowley warned.

‘I’m looking forward to you trying to collect,’ Dean threated him.

Crowley smiled at Dean.

‘Her contract?’

‘Went up with the traitor.’

‘The rest of the contracts.’

‘I took them over.’


‘Alive and well. I can fix that though, if you wish.’

‘Get out, Crowley.’

Dean tried calling Y/N but all he got was her message bank. Cas went looking, locating every evil thing he could find. Eventually finding Y/N going after a group of demons.

‘There’s 14 of them,’ Cas warned. ‘She won’t survive it.’

‘I think that’s the point.’

The men geared up and Cas transported them out. Dean looked at Y/N. Black leather pants, heels, black lace corset. Her face emotionless. She was already in a fight when they got there. There were dead bodies laying across the floor. Dean and Sam jumped into help. The bottle with Y/N’s soul in it in Dean’s pocket. The second this was over he was putting it back in her. Cas helped where he could and things started to come to an end. Dean attacked one of the few demons that was left, but it grabbed him and threw him into a wall, the glass bottle in his pocket smashing, Y/N’s white soul moving through the air to return to it’s body.

It entered through her mouth, throwing her head back, causing her body to stop amid the chaos. Dean screamed for her to move as he watched a demon attack but it was too late. The demon pushed a knife into her stomach and turned it. Smiling at the now whole hunter. The young woman who had no idea of where she was or how she got there.

Dean watched as her jaw dropped in shock and her face screwed up in pain.

‘Y/N!’ he screamed, pushing his demon blade into the bastard that stabbed her. ‘Baby,’ he sobbed, catching her as she collapsed.

She tried to talk but all she managed to do was cough up mouthfuls of blood. Dean pushed his hand into her stomach wound, trying to stop the bleed but it was too late.

‘Cas!’ he screamed.

Castiel came over and looked at her, the blood now flowing between Dean’s fingers, the trails of blood from her mouth. He watched as the life left her eyes.

Dean watched as her chest stopped moving, her gurgled breath now quiet and he fell apart. Screaming at Cas to bring her back. Fix things. Make it all better.

Cas lent down and placed his hand over the stomach wound on Y/N. It was bad. The worst he had seen. He could fix it but it would drain him. He looked at Dean and saw how shattered he was. He could feel Y/N’s soul watching, questioning why Dean cared so much. It broke Castiel’s own heart. Human emotions were strange and complicated.

‘Cas?’ Y/N called, her voice fading in and out as they tried to pull her to heaven.


‘I don’t understand. Is Lisa ok?’

‘She’s fine.’

‘So why is he sad? He got what he wanted.’

Cas looked at the woman sadly. Dean loved Y/N, he was her soul mate. The pair chosen by cupid. They were always destined to be together. And yet this horrible turn of events may have ruined fate’s plans. And they weren’t going to be happy with it.

‘He never wanted this Y/N. It’s time you come home,’ Cas told her.

‘No Cas. I fixed it, let it be.’

‘She doesn’t want to go back Dean,’ Cas said softly.

Dean’s heart broke, that can’t be.

‘Baby, please. Come back. I never meant it, I need you,’ he sobbed over her body.

Cas healed her body, pulling her soul back into it’s vessel once again. Despite her protests.

Dean shifted as she gasped and threw herself forward. Her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She had barely registered that she was alive when Dean smothered her in kisses.

‘Where? How? Oh my God, what the hell am I wearing?’ she panicked.

‘It’s a long story but everything’s ok. You’re ok. That’s all that matters,’ Dean cried kissing her again.

‘Do you remember anything?’ Sam asked.

‘I had the flu?’

‘Yeah,’ Dean agreed quietly. ‘It played havoc with your mind, sorta screwed things up a bit.’

Sam and Cas looked at Dean confused, but didn’t say anything. They would discuss it later.

‘Come on baby, let’s go home.’

Dean helped Y/N stand up and gave her his jacket. Not that he was complaining about the outfit. It looked hot, but the blood covering her bothered him. He couldn’t keep looking at it, knowing how close he came to never holding her again.
They drove back to the bunker in Y/N’s car. Dean came up with another excuse for all of Y/N’s gear on in the passage. She looked at him funny but didn’t question it.

For the next week Dean barely left her side, she still hadn’t remembered anything and Dean was grateful.

Y/N was walking towards the kitchen when she heard the boys talking.

‘You need to tell her, Dean. She has a right to know. It’s going to be better that she finds out from you rather than someone else.’

‘She doesn’t need to know. Do you think she would have done any of that if she had a soul?’

‘It’s not just that, what about Lisa?’

‘Don’t go there Sam.’

‘Is this to protect her or yourself?’ Sam questioned.

Y/N frowned. She didn’t like the sound of this.

‘This has nothing to do with me.’

‘What about what you said?’

‘Shut it Sam.’

Y/N walked back into the room her and Dean shared and found her iPad, she went and sat in one of the spare rooms so she could have some privacy and started googling. It didn’t take long to find things. Lisa’s obituary, the announcement she was back from the dead several weeks later. The piles of dead bodies after. Y/N still didn’t remember much but she knew somehow it was her that was responsible.

She gathered her purse and keys and decided to head out.

‘Babe? Where you going?’ Dean called, watching her go past.

‘Pharmacy. I need to fill a script. Run some errands.’

Dean nodded and got up.

‘Want company? We can pick up dinner, head somewhere after,’ he smiled, kissing her.

‘As nice as it would be, I think I just need some me time. I might hit the book store. I know you’re not up for that.’

Dean frowned at her, her voice was emotionless. There was nothing there.

‘I’ll be back later.’

‘You ok?’


She left and Dean stood staring at the garage. Sam waited for Dean to come back to the table before he spoke again.

‘She knows.’

Dean paled, ‘What? No, she…son of a bitch.’

Dean ran into the garage but it was too late, she was gone. He called her but her phone was off, he drove into town checking the pharmacy, the book store and couldn’t find her.

Y/N sat outside Lisa’s house watching her and Ben through the window. The tears flowed down her cheeks as got flashes of what happened. The blade she threw that killed the poor woman. Dean’s words to her afterwards. Her giving up her soul, the promise of death in exchange for Lisa’s life. Cas bringing her back despite her pleas to let her be. All of it came flooding back in flashes.

She drove to a motel and booked in, she had no idea what to do. What to think. She had killed people, innocent people that could have been saved, should have been saved. She killed Lisa. And then there was Dean. He hated her, but at the same time acted like she was the love of his life. Was it an act?

After almost three weeks of crying, of self hatred, of wishing Cas had of just left her to die. She headed back to the bunker. Everything was just too much and she wanted out. She had decided to pick up her gear and go. Find some small town to hide in or a city to get lost in.

Y/N parked out the front and attempted to enter the bunker as quietly as possible. However, when it come to the bunker door there was no such thing. She walked down the stairs and saw Dean rushing into the room, his eyes red raw, his face wet, his nose a similar colour to his eyes.

The look of relief that washed over his face almost made Y/N believe that he did love her. But then his words replayed in her mind and she walked past him, not even bothering to talk.

Dean followed her to their room and watched as she packed her bags.

‘Talk to me please.’

She continued in silence.

‘I didn’t tell you, because it wasn’t you. You wouldn’t do that kind of thing. You hate killing, even hunting bothers you.’

He watched as the bag continued to grow in size. He couldn’t take it anymore. Each item she added was another piece of his heart being ripped away. He moved in closer and took her hands in his.

‘Stop, please. Tell me what you’re thinking? Talk to me?’

‘Is the reason you’re here because Lisa kicked you out?’

‘No. I’m here because it’s you, because I love you.’

‘It’s hard to love something that is worthless and should be dead.’

Dean’s face crumbled. His heart shattered. She had remembered what he said.

‘I didn’t mean it. I was upset, drunk and mad at myself for not getting there earlier.’

‘That doesn’t cut it Dean.’

‘No, it doesn’t.’

‘And you lied to me. You kept this hidden, you pretended none of it happened.’

He listened to the anger that seethed through her words. It took a lot to make her angry.

‘I am so sorry. Once I sobered up I went looking for you. I swear. I wanted to apologise. Then when I found out what happened, I tried to fix things.’

‘This didn’t fix things Dean. I would have been better off dead,’ she said quietly.

‘Like hell you would have been. There’s no way I was going to let you die,’ he yelled. ‘Call me selfish but I love you far too much to let that happen.’

‘No, you hate me enough to pull me back into this bullshit life. The only thing you love is watching me suffer,’ she screamed.

Dean looked at her in shock. He couldn’t believe she thought that. He couldn’t believe she raised her voice. She never did that. He felt knives pierce his heart as he saw the pain in her eyes.

‘I never…I wouldn’t do that,’ he whispered. ‘Since I met you all I’ve ever done is fought to make you happy. To keep you happy. Safe.’

‘You know what keep it. I won’t need it anyway,’ she tried to walk out past Dean but stopped her.

‘You have no idea how wrong you have it. How much or how deep I love you,’ he said quietly through the tears. ‘You’re my world Y/N, and without you in it. I might as well be dead.’

‘Lisa’s your world. I’m just some girl you screwed because I was replaceable.’

She yanked her arm out of his hand leaving him there in shock. He realised what she had done and chased her down, finding her outside by her car.

‘Bullshit,’ he growled. ‘I have never thought that about you. My feelings for Lisa are complicated, but it’s not love. Not like with you. How I felt when I realised what you’d done, it scared the crap out of me. When you died in my arms, I died with you. I still see it every damn time I close my eyes. The only thing that kept me going was knowing when I woke up in tears you were next to me. You were alive. Now I don’t even have that. I can still smell your blood on my hands, still feel it.’

‘I should have stayed dead Dean,’ Y/N told him quietly. ‘Cas should never have brought me back.’

Dean watched as she started to cry. He pulled her into his arms as she fell apart. The guilt over what she did becoming too much.

‘I don’t deserve to live, not after what I did,’ she sobbed.

‘Oh Baby,’ he kissed her head, his tears wetting her hair. ‘None of that is your fault.’

‘I killed people, not monsters. People. I killed Lisa. I…’

‘Shhh,’ Dean soothed, smoothing her hair down. ‘Baby none of that is on you. Lisa was an accident. I’m so sorry for how I acted. I saw one thing and one thing only, and it wasn’t it. Your blade was going to get the demon, the others pushed her in the way. It was an accident.’

She continued to cry, her legs eventually giving out on her. Dean moved to the ground with her and continued to hold her while she let it all out. The wind picked up and the rain came down, Dean continued to hold her while she cried. It wasn’t until the lightning flashed nearby that he got her to move inside where it was safe.

By this point she was so tired, so mentally exhausted she lay on the sofa and sobbed herself to sleep. Dean covered her in a blanket and sat on a chair near by and just watched her.

Both hunter’s guilt ridden, both feeling the affects of it. The sick stomach, the tight chest, the grief. Each blaming themselves for the events that had transpired. For their actions that caused it.

Dean ran through her words over and over again. He was so scared she was going to do something that can’t be undone. That he was going to lose her, not just as his girlfriend but from this Earth.

Sam came out to see if there was anything he could do. He was grateful to see she was alive. That she was home. Although based on what Dean said, he wasn’t sure for how long. The two boys decided they would lock her up if they had too. She was not leaving their sight. Dean’s especially not while she was feeling like this.

Y/N stirred and groaned when she realised where she was.

‘How are you feeling?’

Y/N shook her head at him.

‘Baby, I don’t know what to say. This whole thing, everything that happened. It was one mistake, after another. I should never have said what I did. I’d do anything to take it back.’

Dean watched as she buried her head in her hands. She was a wreck. He had never seen her like this and it worried him.

‘I’m going to use your shower,’ she said quietly.

She came out later and gratefully took a coffee Dean made her.

‘I want out,’ she spoke quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

‘Please, not us?’ he panicked, his chest heaving as his panic set in.

‘I can’t stay in this life Dean. Emotionally I just, I can’t do it anymore.’

Tears started to fall again, and Dean watched as she shakily put the coffee cup down.

‘So we will take some time off, heal, regroup and go from there. No pressure to come back into it,’ he said, trying to sound positive.

He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it. He didn’t care if she hunted again or not, as long as she stayed with him.

‘I don’t know if there can be a we, Dean. I screwed up, and you got angry. I understand why, I don’t blame you for being hurt. But what you said, it’s changed things. I’m not sure if I can believe what you say you feel. I don’t know if I can trust us.’

Dean felt his own tears falling.

‘Baby,’ he said quietly.

He wanted to say so much more, but had no idea what to say. She raised her eyes up from the table and looked at him.

‘I love you, I promise you that. I want and need you. And I will do whatever it takes to get you back. To get us back. To fix things. Just give us a chance,’ he pleaded.

She dropped her gaze back to the table and took a shaking breath.


‘Stay here, please. Take time out from hunting, rest. Find another job if you need, but just don’t leave.’

Dean ran his hand over her head, and across her cheek.

She stood and picked up her coffee.


‘I’m going to move into one of the spare rooms.’


‘I’ll stay Dean, for a couple of reasons. But at this point, we need to work on the trust and I can’t do that and be with you. And you need to figure out what you want. And you can’t do that and be with me.’

‘What I wanted never changed.’

Y/N looked at him sadly and walked off. Dean letting her go, he didn’t have a choice.

Over the next couple of weeks, Y/N kept her distance. Locked herself away and struggled to cope with what happened. Her biggest reason for staying was she didn’t trust herself to be alone. She knew that will the boys constantly checking on her she wouldn’t do anything she shouldn’t.

Cas watched from another dimension, his fear of the two of them being separated only grew. There was nothing to show that they were going to fix things. That their relationship would get better. It got too much for the angel so he called Cupid in.

‘I need you to shoot them again. Make them fall back in love.’

‘What? Why?’

‘They need to be together. They have to be.’

Cupid stood with his brother and watched the pair. He watched as Dean came and told her that the pizza had arrived, how her convinced her to come watch a movie with them. He watched the small smile that appeared on Y/N’s face as Dean made some stupid joke. How They both struggled with sitting next to each other on the sofa.

While Cas struggled to comprehend human emotions, Cupid recognised them. The stolen glances, the smiling eyes. Most of all, the healing.

‘They will be fine. There is still love there. More than I can ever give them.’


‘Give them time brother. They will fix things. They just need time.’  

anonymous asked:

What do you think about a drabble where tha Avengers and Buck are playing the "I've never..." and reader is way too innocent so she wets drunk and at the end Bucky takes care of her because he likes her and carry her to bed and is all fluffy?

yikes i didnt know what this game was so i had to google it (hopefully its the right one)

Originally posted by nadinpu

Natasha, Tony, Bruce, Clint, Thor, Steve, Wanda, and Bucky surrounded you, sitting in the white fold out chairs that Tony had set up. You felt their eyes bore into you as they waited for you to say something. You began to feel nervous with everybody staring at you, and sweat began to gather near your hairline. You bit your lip and pondered what you could say.

“Oh! I have one now!” You exclaimed, thinking of something that could at least get Wanda to move. “I’ve never been drunk.” You triumphantly announced, waiting for Wanda to hop out of her seat.

Instead, you were met with radio silence. They were frozen in their seats and they all stared at you with their mouths slightly open.

“What…the fuck?” Clint finally said, breaking the silence.

“Wanda? You’ve gotten drunk before?” You asked, knitting your eyebrows together.

“I’m young, not dead.” She responded, crossing her arms with a small smirk on her face.

Tony looked over at Thor, “Got any of that Asgardian mead left over?”

He laughed, “For me, yes. For her, there is another substance I have in mind.”

Champagne. That was Thor’s mystery substance. A bottle later, and to say the least, you were hammered. Never having been drunk before, you were very susceptible to the power the drink had. After Tony, Clint, and Thor made it their mission to get you drunk, the group moved to the family room were it was more intimate and you guys could have better conversation. It was around two in the morning, and you were beginning to feel sleepy.

“I’m heading of to bed.” You hiccuped, slightly slurring your words. “G’night.”

You picked yourself off of the couch and walked one step before your surrounding started to look blurry.

“Woah,” you giggled, pressing your hand against your forehead, “everything is blurry.”

“Someone should help her.” Nat commented, slightly drunk herself.

“I got it.” Bucky sighed, lifting himself off the couch and coming over to you. “Come on (Y/N).”

He placed one hand on your shoulder and the other one on your elbow, attempting to steady you. It worked until you made it to the stairs. One step up and you came tumbling back down.

“Ouchie, my butt.” You frowned, standing up off the ground.

“You know, you’re cute when your drunk.” Bucky commented, before walking over to you and hoisting you up into his arms. He carried you like a baby, his metal arm pressed against your back. You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes.

“You’re cute all the time.” You breathed, a small smile on your face.

“Glad to know you feel the same.” He laughed, smiling down at your small body in his arms.

Bucky reached your room and kicked the door open, carrying you to the bed. He plopped you down, and was about to turn around and leave before you stopped him.

“Wait.” You called out, causing Bucky to stop in his tracks. “Put on my pj’s.” You asked, lifting your hands in the air.

“What?” Bucky stumbled, a small blush creeping on his lips.

“Gimme your shirt, it looks comfy.” You smiled, reaching your arm out and making grabby motions.

“I-uh-okay?” He said, peeling the shirt of his body and tossing it to you.

“Nice abs.” You commented, walking into the bathroom to change.

You stumbled out, sobering up only slightly. Bucky stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, missing his shirt.

“This is comfy.” You confirmed, grabbing the soft grey material in your hand.

You sauntered over to your bed and crawled under the cool covers. Letting out a sigh of content, you shipped your head around and looked at Bucky.

“Come on.” You giggle, patting the spot next to yours. “Big bed, only me, we share.” 

Bucky looked confuzzled for a moment, not really believing this as happening.

“Fuck it.” He sighed, taking off his pants so he only remained in his boxers and crawling into bed with you 

You snuggled into his chest, the sound of his heart pounding in your ears. He tensed up for a moment, unsure of what to do with his hands, until placed them around your body.

“G’night.” You hiccuped, the feeling of his warm body making you even more sleepy.

“Goodnight doll.” 

The feeling of your brain pounding against your skull was what woke you up. You stayed their for a moment, until realizing that your legs were tangled with someones else’s and there was something hard underneath your face. You sprang up, looking all around.

“What the fuck happened last night?” You asked, slightly wincing from your massive headache. Bucky still laid in bed, all wrapped up in the covers. “I mean go me fore getting you into bed, but like, what the fuck?”

Bucky’s eyes were still closed but he let out a little snicker.

“Champagne Doll, champagne.” 

Beer Bottles & Broken Hearts: Part 1

Another hunt, another bar, more bottles. Some of the only constants in your life, besides Dean, Sam, and Cas. You and Dean started dating six months ago and you were happy. Well, as happy as you could be. You’re worried about your boyfriend.

The past few hunts haven’t been successful and Dean’s barely talking. You’ve asked Sam what to do and he said to wait it out. After a couple victories, he was sure his brother would come around. Despite the reassurance, you were worried. How long would it take?

Two months later and nothing changed. You may have slept in the same bed, but his side felt as cold as when you slept alone. You’ve had enough. Getting out of bed, you knocked on Sam’s door.

“Sam? Can I talk to you?” After a moment of no response, you were going to go back to your empty-feeling bed.

“Y/N, yeah, come in.” He held out an arm for you, inviting you into his room. You went straight to his bed, flopping down onto it with a huff.

“It’s about Dean, isn’t it?” The look on your face spoke volumes. “It’s been two months, Sam! Two months since you said he’d be fine!” You shouted, not caring if you woke Dean. In fact, you hoped he would so he could hear you.

“Y/N, I guess it affected him more than I thought. But have you tried telling him?” Sam’s question pissed you off.

“I’ve tried almost everything I could think of! Being gentle did nothing! Yelling and shouting just pissed him off! I am tired of feeling like I’m sleeping alone!” You let out a choked sob and Sam pulls you into a hug, saying nothing. Once you can coherently speak, you decide to tell Sam what you called Your Last Resort.

“I’m leaving, Sam. I can’t stand this. I love him and don’t want to see him drinking himself away. I miss my Dean, our Dean. The one that combined names of things in the silliest ways. The one that sang obnoxiously loud to the same five tapes and gets us to sing along with him. I just miss him.”

“I do, too. I miss him too.” Sam rubbed your back as you let it all out. You thought you felt him cry, but you had no clue where tour tears ended and his started.

“Is that how you both feel?” Dean’s voice came from the hallway. His eyes were bloodshot and he was sniffling. You were so close to being sympathetic, but then you noticed the bottle held in his hand. Sam noticed too, you thought as he tensed his hold on you.

That amber bottle of beer awoke a rage you didn’t know you were pinning up.

Breaking from Sam’s hold, you went to Dean and snatched the bottle from his hands and threw it at the wall behind Dean’s head.

“Now you decide to feel bad? To speak for the first time without being on a case or asking for booze? How dare you, Dean Winchester! Put your brother through this, it’s like you’re more dead now than you ever have been! You kiss beer bottles more often than you kiss me, and it’s not even the same bottle! I am done with this, Dean! Consider me gone!”

You shoved your way past him, headed towards the room you occupied before making things official with Dean almost nine months ago.

“And this is for taking my whiskey.” Rearing back your hand, you punch him solid in the jaw. He stumbles more than a sober Dean would, almost landing in the shards of the shattered bottle.

Sam’s torn. He doesn’t know whether he should go to you to calm you down, or to comfort his brother.

“Sammy, how do I fix this?” The words left Dean’s mouth in a broken tone.

“I don’t know if you can fix it this time.” Sam stood, bringing his big brother into his arms, the two of them embracing each other in the hallway.

anonymous asked:

Fratboy Clarke™ seems like the type of person to dance on a table, stumble and fall and Sober Lexa™ would catch her on the way down... like prince charming but in a more sexy-daddy commander of the 12 clans sort of way.....