stuggle

no offense but why didnt we get to see the teams reactions to keith being galra how did he tell them i dont really care how allura feels about it we all already knew she’d stuggle lol i wanna know what lance thought just like … saying

Daily demons

TRIGGER WARNING? Im so done with my mind i want it to shut up i want to end the constant voices i feel like im going insane between anxiety depression and insomnia im struggling daily i feel like im sad and i have panic attacks but then when its over i feel numb or neutral i feel like i have multiple personalities (but i cant self diagnos) then it all starts all over again not only with my eating habbits but with daily life as well with my partner and my daughter and both our familys and her father my demons are constantly on me constantly nagging ana constantly telling me to stop eating then i eat anyway from shitty emotions then i look in the mirror and im a lard ass but i have everyone asking how i am and if im eating and if i need medication…. Maybe i do maybe i do need help but i wont ever admit it. My demons will fade away again until the next time they want to return….

Originally posted by satanicsubtle

Our idiots

Sirius Black x Reader

Request:  Hello me again! Could I please have one to do with being Lily’s little sister and Sirius flirting with you, James is wanting to protect the reader as she’s like a little sister to him but also to be wingman for Sirius? Very specific I know sorry thank you in advance!

It was a cold Thursday afternoon. The wind was so strong that it was a surprise the tower still had its windows, therefore everybody stayed inside. Lily and James were sitting on a couch with intertwined hands, Sirius, Remus and Peter around them. You walked towards them with a parchment, a quill and an ink in your hands, sitting on the armrest of the armchair where Sirius sprawled. Your sister and his boyfriend watched you two with smiles on their faces.

„Sirius, can you please help me with my Transfiguration essay? I stuggle with it and since you’re really good at it…” – you asked, head tilted to the right side.

„Sure.” – he said, standing up. „But we should go to my dorm because it’s really noisy here.”

The kind smile on James’ face evaporated quickly. „Absolutely NOT.” – he articulated, loudly but slowly. „Go to the library, that’s quiet too.”

You looked at Lily who shook her head and rolled her eyes. „Would you tell your boyfriend that he’s an idiot?”

„I tell him every day.”

You stood up from the armrest, but when you started to get going, James spoke up again. „Okay, you know what? We’re going too.” Before any of you could protest, he grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her up from the couch. You heard her whimper as they were right behind you, also every world they said. „You’re being ridiculous”, No, I’m not, she’s your sister”, „Yeah, and she can take care of herself”, „No she can’t”, „She’s not ten you idiot”.

Sirius choked back his laugh as you stepped into his dorm. You sat down on his bed, and he close enough to you to cause James to clear his throat.

„Prongs, I can’t help her if I had to sit on the other side of the room.”

„I know. Just keep your hands off.”

Sirius opened his mouth to answer something, but you were faster. „You know, James, I can’t wait to meet our dad.” Lily bit her lip to suppress her grin.

„And why?”

„Because he’s exactly as bad as you in this matter.” Sirius chuckled at your words and malicious smile, and Prongs finally stand down.

With your back against the headboard, Sirius was next to you in a half lying position, helping you with your essay. Lily sat between his boyfriend’s leg on his bed, and even if they were busy enough with each other, sometimes you could felt James’ eyes on you. After almost an hour you finished the homework, but the parchment was still in your left hand – so James couldn’t say anything to separate you.

You talked with Sirius in a low voice, almost a whisper so you had to be really close to each other, which made your cheeks burn. You ran you fingers through his dark locks, messing up his hair after he said something funny; you giggled, and Sirius placed his and on your knee. James cleared his throat again dramatically, causing Lily to hit him in the chest. You titled your head back with a big sigh. If these two wouldn’t be there…

The good friendship between you and Sirius slowly started to became more; both of you felt that. Lately you were constantly flirting with each other, and James sometimes behaved like it’s the best thing that ever could happen, but sometimes he was just simply too oveprotective. Lily didn’t mind it, she knew you can take care of yourself – just like her.

You stayed in your dorm with your sister after you left the boys. She watched you with a smile as you packed your things. „You really like him, do you?”

You straightened, clearing your throat. „Is that so obvious?”

„I assume it’s not your Transfiguration homework that made you smiling and blushing?” She lied down on the bed, you followed her with a dreamy look on your face.

„He’s so nice with me lately. I mean, he always was, but now it’s different.” Lily nodded at your words. „Do you think he is really likes me? Or just flirting…?”

„Likes you? He’s crazy for you.” You felt as your heartbeat fastened; an uncontrollably huge grin stucked on your face. „And – don’t tell him that – James said that sometimes he simply can’t stop talking about you.”

You giggled happily, covering your face with your pillow for a moment before you remembered your other best friend. „Speaking of James…”

„Ignore him. He’ll get used to it. Sooner or later…” – she smiled, but it’s not really calmed you down. He was like a brother to you, and for Sirius too, and you didn’t want the relationship between you became awkward because of his idiot behaviour.

„You know what? I’ll ask him out. Tomorrow.”

„Yes! Do it!” – Lily yelled happily, and you were completely confident.


Until the next day, when you stood in front of Sirius at the corridor.

„Morning, love. Lily said you were looking for me.”

You gulped, trying to collect every bit of your self confidence. „Yes. So… you know, I was wondering if we maybe can go together to Hogsmeade on this Saturday? I mean, just you and me.”

„Sure, it’ll be fun.” He grinned, embracing you by your shoulders while you started to walking on the hallway. „Except if Prongs kills me before Saturday.”

You rolled your eyes. „I’m really close to lose my patience. Can’t you just talk to him?”

„Do you think I didn’t try? He’s like „Oh, it would be cool if you would be together… but yeah, don’t touch her, she’s too pure for you.” – he said, imitating James’ voice, making you laugh.

„It’s actually cute, he cares for me so much.”

„And annoying. I wanted to kiss you so much yesterday, after I helped you, but… why are you looking at me like this?” He stopped, eyes narrowed after your face was red and your botton lip between your teeth to prevent yourself from a childish smile.

„Nothing just, you wanted to kiss me?”

He gulped and looked bothered for a moment, like he didn’t even realize what he just said. You went on.

„Well… James isn’t here now.”

The corridors were less crowded now; in fact, only a few people were there. Sirius smiled before he turned his whole body towards you, held your face with one hand and pulling you closer by your waist with the other. He leaned on and attached his lips to yours – the soft kiss made you weak, your hands were shaking as you ran your fingers through his dark hair.


The rest of your day passed quickly as you were happier than ever. You smiled and smiled all of your classes, even when you’ve got just an „A” on Potions; it was so unimportant now, when Sirius just kissed you.

After your last class you headed back to the Gryffindor tower, stepping into the common room with a fast heartbeat. Your sister and her friends were already there in their usual place, and since there were no empty seat, you sat on Sirius’ lap. He wrapped his hands around your waist and you gave him a quick kiss on his lips before both of you looked at James. He avoided your gaze, and you could tell he fought badly to not saying anything.


There was a little party later in the common room as it was your friend’s birthday today. You spent the evening with them, but later you wanted to join to Sirius and the others. As you stepped closer to them, Lily stopped you and nodded at them – Sirius and James were in a deep conversation, sitting next to each other in a couch, a bottle of firewhisky in Sirius’ hand.

„But you know I care about her. I really do. I’m serious! I’m so Sirius.”

You choked back your laugh so they couldn’t notice you and Lily standing behind them.

„Yeah, yeah I know. But I also know how you care about other girls.” – James replied, grabbing the bottle from Sirius.

„She’s not like othe girls.” – he snorted.

„I KNOW!” – Prongs yelled, the alcohol made his voice out of control.

„Look at these idiots.” Lily said, shaking her head.

Our idiots.”


Masterlist

Request 22- Boredom

Nothing.

There was absolutely nothing on th t.v. that was worth me watching. I stared at the window in the hope the rain had stopped. It hadn’t. It was too bright and cold for me to fall back asleep. Phil was out getting some cereal after finishing Dans. Sure, I could’ve re watched Yuri on Ice but Dan and I agreed to do that together. Daniel, my loving boyfriend, was filming a video so he wasn’t around to help.

The sky grew darker as the time went on. Soon I had been sat alone for almost an hour and I still stuggled to find anything entertaining. Minutes felt like hours as I scrolled through tumblr seeing mostly Dan and Phil related things. The reminder of my boyfriend drew the final straw. I stood from the warmth of my blanket and made my way to the kitchen.

I sighed as I tugged my thick black hoodie over my ponytail and pulled my hair from down the back. I knew it wasn’t the best idea to disturb Dan but he knew I had my tendencies. Yawning I stirred the milk into my tea and his coffee and made my way to his room. The smell of coffee took over my senses and the tea warmed me immensely.

My lips formed a smile as I watched Dan talking to the camera. Each time we caught eyes both our smiles would widen.
“You all know my wonderful girlfriend y/n” he smiled to the camera as I sat beside him holding my mug close to my chest. I gave a small wave to the camera before focusing my attention on Dan. “Y/n was bored and lonely downstairs so I’ve decided to let her be apart of the video” he smiled placing his hand on my knee, sending a shiver down my spine.

Leaning down from the bed I placed my now empty mug onto the floor. I then fell back on our shared bed and stretched my arms above my head. As I looked up I saw Dan looking at me like I’d gone totally mad. Sighing again, I sat up, my face no longer showing pleasure.
“Dan, can we do something together?” I asked, it was clear I had returned to my bored state. His response was simply “We are” which  earned another groan from me. 
“Nooooo” I whined pouting a little “I wanna watch anime or….. do something else” Dan was now the one sighing in response to me.
“Come on y/n. Just wait please?” His fingers wrapped gently round my forearms pulling me up from laying down.

I  began twiddling with my y/c/h hair to pass time. I knew for a fact over 10 minutes had passed and we were still filming. I searched the room for something to entertain me. Soon I got a glimes of his famous potato sack jumper and a smile returned to my face.

“Y/n! What the fuck?!” He exclaimed as I pulled his jumper over my hoodie.
“It smells like you” I giggled innocently smiling up at him. I watched him roll his hazel eyes clearly getting annoyed by my behaviour. “And its cold in here”

Dan signed off the video in his usual manner as I stood behind him on the bed. My arms wrapped around his shoulders; my hands falling on the exposed parts of his chest.
“SHIT love you’re freezing!” Lifting his hands away from me, he turned the camera off. I sat down in the middle if his bed and shrugged my shoulders.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were cold?” He asked giving me a confused look.
“I came in here with tea, coffee, a thick hoodie. I put your jumper over the top and spent about half an hour in bed.”
“I’ll have to edit this now, the phandom want a video” He mentioned pulling me into a hug.

Turning off my phone I leaned into Dan and pulled the blanket up to my shoulder. Phil sat on the other end of the sofa. “That was a really great video” Phil mentioned after going through some notifications from the video. I felt Dans hand fall to my hip as I drifted into a deep sleep.

I woke up in the soft bed sheets that covered mine and Dans bed. Looking over my shoulder I saw Dan staring over at me. I smiled at my brown haired boyfriend. Out the corner of my eye I could see his laptop. I sat up to read the page.

“Y/n is so cute I can’t” was the first thing I read. I looked up to Dan with a suspicious grin. “You didn’t”

After watching the video I felt a warm heat rush to my face.
“I can priv-”
“Its cute, don’t worry about it” I cut him off smiling from ear to ear. I watched the 40 minute video of me and Dan from earlier in the day. He’d titled it ‘my girlfriend’. It mainly involved me being slightly annoying when I interupted Dan.

“Dan” I whispered.“go to sleep babe.” I placed my hand on his arm and looked up to him through hooded eyes. I watched his dimple appear as he smiled down to me closing his laptop. A shiver ran down my spine when Dans arms pulled my body towards his.

I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was. I think that’s why she always struggled…And I think that’s why she also struggled with love. She couldn’t touch it. She couldn’t hold on to it and make sure it never changed.
—  Carrie Ryan, The Dead-Tossed Waves 
On Not Being Afraid to Struggle

Pre-meds and medical students are a high achieving bunch. Maybe high school was a breeze, maybe you aced Orgo, or maybe you got an amazing score on the MCATs. Maybe you didn’t, and that’s OK. 

I am not the student who eased through life and woke up one day to find myself in medical school. Sure, I did well in high school where no one was challenging me, but once in college I realized that there are a lot of really smart people out there and that among smart people I am pretty average. I found myself working really hard only to walk away with a B in Orgo I. I came close to failing Orgo II and ended up re-taking both classes after I graduated from undergrad. My first time applying to medical school (before retaking Orgo) I got ZERO interviews. My second time applying I got two, after which I was wait-listed at both schools. Just when I had started to reassess my life goals I got a call telling me I had been accepted. 

Since starting school I have struggled with the transition from the intellectual curiosity that predominates the liberal arts, to an academic environment based on multiple choice tests and memorization. There are days that I love everything about medicine and days that I wish I were still capable of carrying on a non-medical conversation. Despite all the ups and downs I cannot imagine doing anything else. The deeper into this whole medicine thing I get, the more convinced I am that this is the place for me.

The road to medical school is long; the road to becoming a practicing physician is longer. At some point you will struggle and will doubt yourself and your ability to succeed. Don’t panic or give up; buckle down figure out what’s important and work as hard as you can.

-wanderlustmed

Twenty One Pilots - What does the logo stand for?
—  Tyler: It means Twenty One Pilots, the logo does. Why it means Twenty One Pilots, is it really goes along with one of our songs called “Kitchen Sink.” The whole concept of that song is that I feel that humans are always struggling all the time when it comes to purpose, trying to figure out their purpose is, what purpose even is, what’s the point, justifying your own existence. A lot of kids and people my age struggle with “what’s the point,” and with the logo, what it really means is it’s an encouragement. When someone asks me what the logo means to me, the logo means something to me because I made it mean something to me. That’s the point. The point is that I created something that only I understand and whether or not I decide to disclose the meaning of it, that’s the beginning of purpose for me. The meaning of purpose for me, is by creating something, if it be by writing lyrics, painting a picture, by expressing yourself through art if it’s photography or music or theater, or whatever it is. It doesn’t have to be artistic, but if you create something and only you know the meaning of it, that’s the beginning of purpose for you. When you’re in the room by yourself trying to decide whether to stay alive, you can tell yourself “I should probably stay alive because I’m the only one who knows the meaning of that thing,” so the logo is an encouragement for people to create. That’s what it means.