stuff(8)

‘Guess what, mom was right about angels after all… they do exist. Too bad that all of them are giant dicks who don’t give a shit about anything.’

Castiel’s mouth went dry, his stomach sinking. He shouldn’t have gone through Dean’s old journals, he knew he shouldn’t have. But now that they were together and even shared a bedroom, Castiel had figured that whatever Dean didn’t want him to see was long gone. The page in question had been written years ago, that much Castiel could tell. Regardless, this was hurting.

Castiel was losing track of how long he’d been staring at that dreadful page, when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t even noticed it when Dean had entered their room, and he all but flinched when Dean touched him.

“Everything alright there, Cas?”

Castiel forced himself to look away from the journal, guilt taking over as he glanced up at Dean, concerned green eyes gazing right back at him as Dean squeezed his shoulder.

“I apologize, Dean,” Castiel muttered as he held up the journal in surrender. “I honestly didn’t mean to read it.”

Dean took the journal without saying a word, his eyes scanning the page, the expression on his face gradually going from confused, to anxious, to positively horrified.

“Cas, no… That’s not-”

Holding up a hand, Castiel interrupted him, knowing all too well that Dean wasn’t to blame here. “I know, I shouldn’t have read it. I got curious because I like to see what’s going on inside your head, it isn’t your fault that I found something that I rather wouldn’t have seen.”

They exchanged a lengthy stare, and Castiel didn’t dare to do as much as move. For a long moment Dean hesitated, before sighing and kneeling down beside the bedside table, pulling another journal out of one of the drawers. This one was smaller, black, and it looked fairly new. Dean flipped through the pages for a bit, then sat down beside Castiel on the bed, resting his head on Castiel’s shoulder as he pointed at the top of the left page.

“The stuff you just read… That was years ago,” Dean mumbled as he wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist, willingly offering Castiel the unconditional forgiveness that he hadn’t been sure he deserved after spying on Dean’s feelings. “This one here is my latest journal.”

Dean tapped his finger against the page once more, clearly determined to share his more recent thoughts. All Castiel could do while reading was smile and take Dean into his arms, never wanting to let go.

'So I might have been wrong about angels… I fell in love with one.’

After completely blanking on something to draw for @superirishbreakfasttea‘s rom-com challenge fic, I got to thinking, and realized that I have never drawn a Fitzsimmons kiss. How have I never done that? It’s unacceptable! I have let my fandom down! So I decided to draw a scene from the final chapter of her excellent fic Look On Tempests instead. And here you have it: Fitzsimmons face smoosh! It was a little harder than I anticipated, but I enjoyed the challenge and overall I’m pleased with how it turned out. Hope you guys enjoy it!

[Redbubble]

8

i know a lot about fear. you asked me if i’ve ever been scared on the battlefield. well, i was. when i was on the front line at one point, we were losing more men than we could bury. seeing things like that, it does something to your mind, fear takes over. one night it got so bad, i left. i got five miles away, then i realised what i was doing and i came back. no one ever knew. why did you come back? my men. my friends… however bad it gets you keep going for them… you don’t give up. fear has no power over you.

get to know me meme: 10/10 male characters ~ porthos (the musketeers)