So.. random plot bunny (which is a term that is not used enough anymore):
Barry gets hit by lightning. He falls into a coma.
When he wakes up, he has been replaced at the CCPD.
He gets a different job while Joe and Singh try to get his job back. During this time, he starts dating a guy called Len. One day he is Len’s +1 for some fancy party. (Len sells antiques or something… he doesn’t talk about his job much.)
Only someone gets murdered, who happens to be part of the hosting family. Who apparently blames one the visitors. Barry then points out how that isn’t possible because the wound is wrong for the height of the suspect and the body has been dead for xx time at which the suspect was in the other room with them.
And that’s how Barry gets hired by Central City’s underworld to solve a murder. Because apparently his boyfriend is actually a world class thief (and Barry is not sure if he is more mad or sad for being lied to, mostly he is just overwhelmed) and the other criminals might not trust him, but they know him well enough to know he wouldn’t be involved in a murder like that, so the cute ex-CSI he has *obviously* turned to the dark side is the perfect choice to figure out the murderer.
Afterwards, Barry is trying to get his job back, but keeps getting hired by criminals who don’t want the police involved. He tries to say no, but usually the mysteries are too good to pass up or it’s clear there will be no justice if he doesn’t help… So he kinda keeps accepting. Len is proud of him and keeps sending Barry cute gifts for every solved case, and while he is trying to be mad for being lied to, it doesn’t work for long.
When Iris finds out, she bullies Barry into opening a detective agency with her. Joe is not happy.
(Could be powered or un-powered)
forget the fake dating plots, give me the fake engagement plots because it’s a hundred times more angst i mean?
when muse a has been telling their parents they’ve been seeing somebody and finally say they’re engaged to get them off their back, and then surprise!! the whole family ships out to meet the lucky person and they gotta suddenly scramble for a fake fiance/fiancee
when the person they ask is their friend and muse b has been secretly hiding that they actually have feelings but say yes just to get close to muse a and hopefully get rid of the feelings but god knows that doesn’t work
the moving in together and having to get used to sleepy faces and sleeping in the same room and awkwardly brushing their teeth in the morning but it eventually becomes very familiar and natural
meeting the family!!! listening to embarrassing stories and cute naked baby pics while muse a sits around moping bc “mooomm why are you showing these i asked you to burn these”
having to practice being affectionate so it looks real
“what do you mean kiss? right now? in front of the whole family?”
“kiss me right now in front of the whole family”
what becomes normal hand holding and touching even when they’re not in public
mom/grandmother bringing their old wedding dress and insisting muse b trying it on and it’s huge on her but the mom/grandmother is crying and muse a comes in and the dress is literally falling off muse b and their family members are crying in the corner
the family throwing a bridal shower and the couple casually cheating to win the newlywed game
actual bridal dress shopping!!! when muse b tries on ‘the dress’ and everybody is like omg…and muse a is like “shit shit these are real feelings ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION”
when the family leaves and the two try and go back to normal but deny there are any real feelings :(
when muse a starts dating somebody else and their family is like “they’re okay but i liked muse b better”