stuff i find on the internets

also like….. how fucking sad is it that these people, mostly 25+ or even 30+, go out of their way to find random teenagers’ posts on the internet about being gay and working towards finding comfort in themselves, and try to argue against that point and then reblog each others’ posts with celebration emojis and shit like Wow You Really Clap’d That Kid Back Raeagaen! Excuse Me While I Go Stuff Quinoa In My Eye Sockets For Pleasure

10

I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during ‘About a Boy’…the soundtrack! I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just wanna know that they’re comfortable. I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers.

  • Lance: We're trying to find someone to perform our wedding but they're all boring or annoying or can't stop staring at the ladies.
  • Pidge: You should have one of us do it!
  • Keith: We're getting married-married, not sixth grade married.
  • Pidge: It's a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform weddings and stuff.
  • Hunk: I call it!

If you can’t distinguish fiction from reality or you think other people can’t then I’m sorry but this isn’t our problem. If you choose to be bitter about something other people don’t have a problem with, then go away. Turn off the internet.

6

he/him, even with the hijab picture

tagged by the amazing @hubris-but-no-writing

i tag: @somekindoffan @smoltinypumpkinchild @treblingbass @perhaps-im-indecisive @hailwicked @hamiltonandfluff @ineedsomuchassistance @alexangery @thellamaduo @fillertexted @pixel-potato

My local library has a service where I ca have a librarian try to answer a question for me or find a book on any subject over the internet any time. I requested magazines in Esperanto yesterday and I just asked how closely clams and fungus were related (close, but not as close as fungus and insects[I think]) and it is free! See if your local library has this, it is so useful!

  • Reggie [after being injected with 'truth serum']: I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during ‘About a Boy’…the soundtrack! I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just wanna know that they’re comfortable. [starts sobbing] I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers.

First of all, Columbus wasn’t the first to cross the Atlantic. Nor were the vikings. Two Native Americans landed in Holland in 60 B.C. and were promptly not given a national holiday by anyone. Columbus didn’t see the enormous significance of his ability to cross the Atlantic because it wasn’t especially significant. His voyage wasn’t particularly difficult. They enjoyed smooth sailing, and nobody was threatening to throw him overboard. Despite what history books tell kids (and the Internet apparently believes), Columbus died wealthy, and with a pretty good idea of what he’d found – on his third voyage to America, he wrote in his journal, “I have come to believe that this is a mighty continent which was hitherto unknown.”

The myths surrounding him cover up the fact that Columbus was calculating, shrewd and as hungry for gold as the voice over guy in the Cash4Gold ads. When he couldn’t find enough of the yellow stuff to make his voyage profitable, he focused on enslaving Native Americans for profit. That’s how efficient Columbus was – he discovered America and invented American slavery in the same 15-year span.

There were plenty of unsuccessful, mostly horrible attempts to settle America between Columbus’ discovery and the pilgrims’ arrival. We only hear these two “settling of America” stories because history books and movies aren’t huge fans of what white people got up to between 1492 and 1620 in America – mostly digging for gold and eating each other.

6 Ridiculous Lies You Believe About the Founding of America

1. honesty victor and yuri wear sweatpants most of the time but you will drag this joke about how phichit got yuri wearing shitty forever21 leggings and tops out of my cold, dead, grasping hands

2. another joke I’m not sure how to write but I’m definitely going to figure out is how phichit has a flashdrive full of yuri housework dancing and/or actually dancing and/or skating to things like “Nasty” by Janet Jackson or “Boyfriend” by Avril and is coldbloodedly bargaining for choreography with victor. 

2a. “is it the real goods?” says victor, suspiciously. he’s not going to be tricked into ponying up for just pictures of yuri doing stretches in JUICY sweats, which he can find on the internet. he wants the real good stuff, okay. phichit shows him thirty seconds of yuri shaking it like his mama taught him as the divine dame bassey pulls up lookin’ flashy in her Mercedes Benz. “there’s more,” he says. “OH MY GOD YOU TWO,” says yuri. “I’M DIVORCING EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM.” “what,” says leo, looking up

anonymous asked:

can you explain, in one comprehensive post with sources, what the deal with jontron is? me and a friend are super out of the loop and have no idea what's going on, and i want to be able to show them what's up in the most accurate way possible, and i trust you more than most opinion related blogs on this site... can you help me out?

Ok. 

Ok fine, this is a labor of love, because I don’t know Jontron, I barely know this little internet debate, and I really don’t care that much cuz Trump is the American president and that fact overshadows a lot of other stuff. 

But I will go out of my way to find the WHOLE story just for you, ok?

And only because you said you trust me more than most opinion related blogs.

So here it is. 

Youtuber Jontron reviews videogames and movies. He was a host and creator of Game Grumps. 

But he recently got into a livestream debate with Steve Bonnell in which he stated that Jim Crow laws had little to no impact on crimes committed by minorities today. He also claimed “There [are] like, 18-year-olds who are committing a disproportionate amount of crime and they were born after me. So how do you explain that? Is that Jim Crow? Nobody wants to get into the realistic things,” he said. “They [referring to progressives] just want to blame whites more and more.”

He asked: “I don’t understand why it is anyone else’s responsibility but their own. Do [minorities] not have agency?”

He also said that “anyone who talks about the subject from a dissenting viewpoint to be labeled a racist or a Nazi” and that he thought “more young people were feeling disenfranchised by the media and embracing views that would align them with the ‘alt-right’ because of the guilt tripping.”

So he essentially said, being alt right doesn’t make you a Nazi. 

He also defended Steve King, who recently caused controversy when he said:  “[we] can’t restore our civilization with somebody else’s babies” in regards to immigration.

Outright stating that immigrants and people of color are not a part of our civilization and never have been, and that someone else’s babies are just…undesirable because they’re essentially not human if they’re not like us.

Then Jontron said:  “Wow, how scandalous, Steve King doesn’t want his country invaded by people who have contempt for his culture and people! Nazi!!!”

Thus implying immigrants are invaders.

And not you know, fucking people.

And America, the great cultural melting pot, no longer wants to call itself that.

It’s just a pot full of unseasoned chicken piss.

Anyway.

In his debate with Bonnell, Jontron also asked: 

“Why is it bad for white people to resist their own demographic displacement?” 

But when Bonnell asked him why he thought it mattered for whites to have a demographic majority in the United States, he fumbled for something that wouldn’t sound racist.

Upon concluding that it was impossible, Jontron then said Japan is a shining example of a country that took active steps to preserve its ethnic majority.

“Wealthy blacks also commit more crime than poor whites. That’s a fact. Look it up,” he said.

He also claimed that racial discrimination did not exist in the united states anymore.

Cuz a white guy would know, right?

“Discrimination is wrong,” he said. “We’ve gotten rid of discrimination in Western countries… if you don’t think we’ve gotten rid of discrimination you’re living in a fantasy land.”

So there you  have it.

If you have the stomach for it, here’s the two hour, full thing. 

So yeah.

Jontron thinks discrimination doesn’t exist, black people are criminals, immigrants are just assholes who don’t contribute to civilization, and oh  yeah.

Discrimination doesn’t exist and if you experience it, you’re living in a fantasy land. 

@n-k-y @korracrat @marshmallowdonutsprinkles

Random Self Care Tips

I was looking around on Tumblr for this stuff and didn’t find everything that I wanted, so I looked around on the internet and found some things.

1) Epsom Salt is actually really cool and useful for a lot of things. Two cups of Epsom Salt added to a bath eases stress and relaxes the body. Stress drains the body of magnesium and increases levels of adrenaline, so when Epsom Salt is dissolved in warm water, it’s absorbed by your skin and replenishes the amount of magnesium in your body.  The magnesium helps to produce serotonin, which elevates your mood and creates a feeling of calm and relaxation. You can also use Epsom Salt to:

Exfoliate dead skin: In the shower or bath, mix a handful of Epsom Salt with a tablespoon of bath/olive oil and rub all over your wet skin to exfoliate and soften, and then rinse thoroughly.  

Exfoliate your face: Mix a half-teaspoon of Epsom Salt with whatever you usually wash your face with. Gently massage into your skin and rinse with cold water.

Relieve pain and cramping: Warm Epsom Salt baths not only benefit your mood, but also alleviate tension headaches or soothe abdominal cramps.

Foot soak: Put a cup of Epsom Salt into 2-3 gallons of water. This is supposed to relax your feet and soothe soreness.

Itchy/sunburned skin : Dissolve a tablespoon of Epsom Salt in to ½ cup of water and cool it down. Then spray it on itchy/burned skin or apply it as a wet compress to help relieve itching.

2) As time consuming and annoying as shaving can be, sometimes it can feel really good to just have really soft legs. I’m awful about remembering to shave, so I made this list of tips so when I actually do shave, I can make it count. 

Use conditioner for shaving cream/gel: I’ve been doing this for over a year now and I love it because it softens and smooths your skin. I use hypoallergenic shampoo because I’m allergic to non-hypoallergenic stuff, so it doesn’t irritate my skin when I’m rubbing it on my legs. I personally really like the coconut conditioner by Organix (which is evidently popular) because it’s generally really cheap, it comes in a big bottle, and it’s really good quality stuff. 

Shave downwards, then upwards: Okay, yeah, I get that this kind of sucks because it takes a long time and I honestly don’t feel like shaving with the grain doesn’t do much, but it’s a really good way to make sure you don’t get razor burn and it’s super good for sensitive skin. So, take the ten extra minutes and just shave your legs both ways, it might be worth it. 

Don’t be afraid to try men’s shaving stuff: I started using a razor made for men on my legs like, last week, and I think it’s better than the razor I bought to actually shave my legs. Also, these razors are cheaper than the ones I was buying. They don’t come in pink like my old razors, but it’s still worth it because the shave is better, and I’m saving a few extra bucks. Who knows what other men’s products work better than women’s?

Rub down with Baby Oil first: This makes the hair AND your legs softer, making the shave easier and leaving your skin softer. I would suggest rinsing it off your legs before shaving, and then applying shaving cream/gel/conditioner/what have you. I’ve heard of shaving your legs with baby oil, but personally I did not like it because the shave didn’t feel as close as it does with conditioner and I had to rinse my razor a lot while doing it because it made the blades super oily. 

Rubbing Alcohol or Witch Hazel: You can dab this on after shaving to kill bacteria and help pores close. It may burn a little bit if you have some little cuts but it goes away pretty quickly.

Use Unscented Deodorant: This is evidently good for after shaving your vag. I don’t know, man, but it might be worth a shot, so liberally apply to prevent razor burn or chafing. Make sure this is not scented deodorant. Please be careful, and make sure you aren’t like, putting this IN your vagina because that’s probably painful and not beneficial at all. 

Apply Aloe Vera: So this firstly makes your legs smoother, and then it also helps cool down redness or razor burn.

Also, fun fact: Egyptians shaved their eyebrows to mourn their cats. For real.

Please note: You do not have to shave. Don’t let the media and other people influence what your ideal hair situation should be. Your body hair is nothing to be ashamed of. Figure out what is right for you.

3) Baths are amazing. They improve blood circulation, help release toxins, lower blood pressure, clean skin, reduce headaches, help cure colds, lower anxiety, and a bunch of other really cool awesome stuff that explain why we should be taking baths, like, at least every two weeks, even just for twenty minutes. As amazing as a plain bath is, here are some things you can add to a bath to help relax your muscles and relax your mind. 

Green Tea Bath Recipe: Drop 5-10 green tea bags in the bath while it’s filling. 

Benefits of a Green Tea Bath: The minerals in green tea are well known for their powerful anti-aging benefits, which will replenish & restore balance to your skin. Green tea also has natural antioxidants, which aid in detoxing your body from natural pollutants.

Honey Bath Recipe: Pour one cup of honey into your bath while it’s filling. 

Benefits of a Honey Bath: Adding honey to your bath will moisturize, soften and sooth dry skin. The natural antioxidant properties in honey will help detox your body while you soak.

Olive Oil Bath Recipe: Add 3 tablespoons of olive oil to your bath while it fills.

Benefits of an Olive Oil Bath: When mixed with water, olive oil has the ability to soak deep into your tissues and rejuvenate them. Olive oil baths aid in building a stronger immunity to viral and bacterial infections. Olive oil will help maintain the collagen in your skin, keeping skin looking supple for longer. This reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

Lemon Bath Recipe: Squeeze and drop 5-6 lemons into your running bath. If you don’t have lemons, ¾ cup of bottled lemon juice will work just as well. 

Benefits of a Lemon Bath: Lemon baths are especially refreshing in hot weather. The healing agents in lemons will refresh and revive tired skin. Lemons will also cool the skin, and help tighten pores.

Ginger Bath Recipe: Add one tablespoon of fresh, chopped ginger to your running bath. 

Benefits of a Ginger Bath: Bathing in a bath of ginger will ease sore muscles, eliminate toxins from the body. The natural anti bacterial properties in ginger will help sweat out colds, flues, and congestion.  Adding ginger to your bath on a cool day will raise the temperature of your skin and make you feel warm and toasty.

Baking Soda Bath Recipe: Add 4-5 tablespoons of baking soda to your  bath. 

Benefits of a Baking Soda Bath: Baking soda acts as a gentle, soothing agent which will sooth & calm irritated skin. 

4) Baking Soda is really awesome and doesn’t get used half as much as it should be. It’s generally always kept in the kitchen, which is pretty dumb, because it’s really beneficial for skin and hair, too. So, here you go, some uses for Baking Soda that aren’t for the kitchen:

Washing Hair: You can add volume to your hair just by mixing a quarter size of baking soda to your daily dollop of shampoo. The baking soda will help remove impurities, leaving your hair lighter and full of volume.

Teeth Whitener: It tastes pretty bad, but once a week/month/whatever works for you, try wetting your toothbrush, sticking it in baking soda, and brushing your teeth. Again, this tastes gross, but it cleans and whitens your teeth really well. 

Face Scrub: Add a tablespoon of baking soda to your usual facial cleanser and form a paste. Massage into your skin in circular motions to help exfoliate and leave skin feeling soft.

Foot Wash: Mix two to three tablespoons of baking soda with water for a soothing foot soak. Soak for 20 minutes. Then, scrub your feet with a paste of baking soda and water to help exfoliate rough spots.

So, there you go! Some interesting information and some cool new things to try out. Do whatever works for you, and just make sure you’re taking care of yourself to stay healthy and happy. Xoxo

2

overwatch: favorite skins

ra & nomad

this is apropos of nothing but can I just say it’s so awesome that the internet is a thing now???? Like oBVIOUSLY, sure, but specifically from the point of view of kids who grew up right before it was a thing.  Like say you had an old video game or some toy or something you were fascinated with, but you knew nothing about it, and it was impossible to find any info on it, because maybe none of your friends were familiar with it, your parents wouldn’t know the fuck you’re talking about, there was just stuff that existed and there was a certain mystery to it.  And now it’s like… okay, for example, not only do I now know that Ecco the Dolphin was NOT just a fever dream of mine, but I can tell you definitively which Pink Floyd album the soundtrack was inspired by, and that’s fuckin’ BONKERS to me man

Fairy Pouch

This is a pouch to attract fairies as a companion. I will warn you that the Sidhe are fickle creatures and you must always be on your toes when you deal with them. They will try to turn against you and play you for their own devices even though they cannot lie. So do this at your own risk. I will also say that this goes really well in conjunction with my fairy attraction spell. 

Items:

  • Purple Cloth
  • Thread
  • Rose Quartz
  • Pentacle
  • Blessed Water
  • Sea Salt/Burdock Root
  • Floral Incense
  • Wand
  • Lavender Colored Candle
  • Briar
  • Elder
  • Hawthorn
  • Hazel
  • Marigold
  • Nettle
  • Trefoil
  • Orris Root
  • Alder

(Please note that you can use any combination of the listed herbs, or any that you might find more suited for your purpose.)

Timing: a Friday, Midsummer Eve, or November 11th. Waxing to Full Moon. 

Steps:

  • Make a pouch. You can find various tutorials of pouch making on the Internets. 
  • Stuff with herbs, crystals, etc. 
  • Light candle
  • Pass pillow through the Elementals while reciting:

I call upon the Powers of the Elementals to enliven the magic and stir the energies into this charm that it may call the Fair Ones to me! By Earth (sprinkle with salt), Air (pass through incense smoke), Fire (pass through candle-flame), and Water (sprinkle with water), I consecrate this pouch to my use! SO MOTE IT BE! 

  • Set pillow/pouch on pentacle, wave wand overhead in circle while reciting:

I gather thy energies to work this spell and do my will, SO MOTE IT BE! 

  • Touch the pillow/pouch with wand while reciting:

Be though charged, pouch of Fairy, to gain Fairy companionship! It is done! SO MOTE IT BE! 

  • Store in a dark place until Full Moon. 
  • Place pillow in light of Full Moon 

Recite:

Come to me Fair ones. 
By the light of they Faerie Moon!
Bless this charm and grant my boon,
With this pillow, Fairy companionship comes,
May ye ever abide in friendship with me,
That As I Will, SO MOTE IT BE!

  • Let the pillow stay in moonlight for 1 hour. 
  • Then place where desired. 

Good Luck and stay crafty!

Source: “Grimoire for the Green Witch” by Ann Moura