Shit my patient says...

“UGH THIS TASTES LIKE ASS. Do I have to take it?” – regarding having to take their mycophenolate – an anti-rejection med for their organ transplant, which BTW was gifted to them from a family friend. Like, idk, maybe we should have told you that you’re going to be on these meds for the rest of your life?!? So like, idk, maybe you should learn how to swallow a fucking pill? Since you’re, ya know, a fucking ADULT?

Also overheard from this brat:

“Ughhhhh how do people walk ever again after this?” - same patient when I suggested that we get up to the chair for the second time today and maybe consider a walk in the near future if up to it.

“But I already got up once today!”

Also of note:  the patient had (I shit you not) “sunshine” listed in their allergy list. Not in the traditional sense (i.e. photosensitivity w/ rash, skin irritation,etc). Oh no no. This child (who is btw a twenty something adult similar in age, race, etc) has sunshine listed on their allergy list because the sunshine “bothers their eyes.” Pls, buy some freaking sunglasses.

Turf that turd to tha FLOOR. Sorry y’all who get stuck with them.