stuck in purgatory

2000!!!!

Holy crap, there’s 2000 of you little lovelies, now! (I’ve been watching the number yo-yo between 1995 and 2000 for a couple of weeks.)

That means it’s time for a celebration!

Originally posted by ldrmas

As I announced previously, ya’ll get to ask for a Part 2, or a timestamp, or a drabble, or whatever you want, based on something I’ve already written. (You can find my masterlist HERE.)

So, say you read Soundproof or I Need More or First Impressions or Ours and you want to know what happens next. Or maybe you’ve read one of my long fics and want to know what happened later on. For example, maybe you’ve read Third Wheel and want to know how the Reader would deal with Sam in the mental ward or being stuck in Purgatory with Dean. Now’s the time to ask!

THE RULES:

First, I’ll give ya’ll until midnight Friday night to nominate fics and ask for what you want to see out of them. Just send me an ask with the fic and what you’re looking for. Be as vague or specific as you like. I’ll take something as simple as, “Cursed Or Not Part 2, please!” to something as detailed as, “How do Dean and Myka deal with MaryJo’s powers going insane when she hits puberty in Cracker Jack Prize?” VOTE EARLY AND OFTEN!!!

Originally posted by tredlocity

Sometime over the weekend (I’’ll be out of town, so I don’t know when), I’ll gather all of the nominations into one post and present them to you all to vote. The top three will get written.

Yes, that’s right, I will write all THREE of the top vote-getters! Everyone votes, everyone wins!!

Originally posted by kpophasmyseoul

Now, I know this is hard, but I have faith in you guys! You can do this! Ya’ll don’t follow me to just watch me reblog the same pics and gifs you can find anywhere else! You follow me to make me work! So, crack the whip, guys! Put me to work!

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Okay. This comic is great because it shows a lot of ups and downs for various characters, but naturally I’m going to hone in on McCree:

(Not to ignore Sombra being there; I’m fucking thrilled Reaper’s new star student is tailing his old one).

But. Let’s just talk about Jesse. Obviously we’re getting the most hamfisted visual cue imaginable that McCree is sad. The dude’s alone in a bar on Christmas, black-out drunk. Not generally how people spend their holiday.

Fanon has collectively painted McCree as an easy-going doofus, but if you think about it he has to be one of the most miserable, down-trodden heroes in the Overwatch setting. By the age of eighteen all of his major life choices were decided for him. From his conscription to just a few years before Overwatch collapsed his entire existence was Blackwatch. In ten+ years he didn’t venture beyond that. Being a Blackwatch agent was all he ever amounted to, and it was the only good he’d ever accomplished. It was his home and his family. It was the cornerstone of his entire identity. Through it, he thought he’d made up for the mistakes of his adolescence.

Turns out that even his “redemption” was rotten. Anything positive he ever did was washed under the tidal wave of public condemnation for all the wrongs, the manipulations, and the secrets. He can’t even look back on the years he spent atoning with Overwatch and feel proud of it, because everywhere he goes the debate still is whether or not the U.N.’s peacekeeping force was ever anything but a means for the corrupt to hold power. If they’re right, what is Jesse McCree but a man who’s never done anything but fire his gun for the bad guys?

The worst part is McCree is stuck in purgatory. Responsibly, he can’t answer Winston’s recall. This new incarnation of Overwatch is going to have a hard enough time overcoming global criticism and the failures of their predecessors – failings like those of McCree himself. If they want to win back public support then they can’t afford to be taking in wanted fugitives, least of all the former protege of Gabriel Reyes. The best thing McCree can do for them is stay the fuck away. In the meantime he’s got nothing going on save for thwarting occasional robberies and the odd train rescue here and there. He’s got no one he can count on without dragging them into his troubles with the law. There’s nowhere for him to rest his head. He doesn’t even have an identity beyond a “not good, not bad” mercenary who’s simply adrift. 

So here we have one Jesse McCree, drinking himself stupid on Christmas because he’s fucking lonely and he can’t go home. 

listen, cas

sunshine honeybee baby bird light of my life

i get where ur comin from on this, i do, honestly

i have no doubt that dean’s ween is a life-changing, perspective-altering, world-shifting experience

BUT 

if this is true

i feel bad for u 

u died a couple times

u were stuck in purgatory for a year

u exploded into goop, castiel

u were goop


u gotta love urself son

I am so sick of hitting rock bottom every few weeks it’s a constant vicious cycle of depression that comes and goes and it eats me up and breaks me down that little bit more each time til there’s nothing left and I’m paralysed, stuck in a kind of purgatory that exists only in the mind and soul.

Persephone {pt.4}

Type: Miniseries Continuation; 7th Sense | One | Two | Three | Four | Five (FINAL) |
Genre: Drama, Fantasy, Fluff, Suggestive (NO SMUT), Demon!AU, Witch!AU
Member: Joshua/Jisoo
Word count: 1,973
A/N: It’s been exactly 4 months since I’ve updated Persephone. Sigh…so sorry for the long wait.
©


Joshua stared at the tile wall, eyes pink and swollen from all the tears. He lay in the ice cold water, his arms draped over your wilt body that rests on his chest. He was completely drenched from head to toe, but he couldn’t be bothered by that.

His throat felt dry as fuck from all the screaming.

Joshua begged you to come back to him. He begged and begged, desperately whispering sweet words into your ear as he held you in his arms. When that didn’t work, he tried tracing your soul.

He used up all his energy to summon your soul back to your body before you could reach the final destination.

He could feel you, but couldn’t find you.

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Who You Should Fight: Kingdom Hearts Edition
  • Sora: You could fight Sora, but why would you want to? He only wants to be your friend. Why are you trying to hurt him? Why are you so mean?
  • Riku: This child has seen enough shit. He doesn't need you to make his life worse. Besides he'll probably just kick your ass. He is a Keyblade Master after all.
  • Kairi: DO NOT FIGHT KAIRI. She will kill you. I know she has a pure heart but that will not stop her from jamming that flowery Keyblade down your throat. ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU TRIED TO FIGHT HER TWO BEST FRIENDS. AVOID KAIRI AT ALL COSTS.
  • Naminé: Why do you want to fight this precious cinnamon roll? I mean you'll probably win, but why do you want to hurt her? Why?
  • Donald: Fucking fight this asshole duck he'll probably forget to heal you anyways.
  • Goofy: I don't care. Fight Goofy. Just understand what you got in to.
  • Roxas: I wouldn't fight this kid. He's got an army of powerful beings behind him that can kick your ass for him. Besides he doesn't need your shit, he's got enough problems as it is.
  • Xion: DO NOT APPROACH XION. DO NOT EVEN LOOK XION IN THE EYE. THIS KID ORCHESTRATED THE ENTIRE DOWNFALL OF ORGANIZATION XIII. SHE WILL NOT HESITATE TO KICK YOUR ASS. Besides you probably won't even remember the fight even if you win.
  • Ansem/Xemnas/Xehanort/Master Xehanort: They're basically all the same person. Fight them. They are fucking assholes that ruin children's lives and need to be taken down a peg. Do it. It's not likely you'll win but just fucking do it.
  • Xigbar/Birag: This asshole needs a punch to the face. I mean you'll probably lose, but it'll be fucking great.
  • Xaldin/Dilan: This motherfucker uses FLOATING SPEARS OF DEATH. Avoid at ALL COSTS.
  • Vexen/Even: Do it. Fight this crusty nerd. I would. Just be careful of his ice attacks, and his giant fucking shield.
  • Lexaeus/Aeleus: No you'll die.
  • Zexion/Ienzo: This child lost his parents and now you want to fight him. Alright. You monster.
  • Saïx/Isa: I mean you won't win but I'd still try. He's kind of as ass to his friends and he needs to know you don't do that. Fight him.
  • Axel/Lea: Don't fight the trash can lid dad. He's just trying his best.
  • Demyx/???: FIGHT THIS PUNK WHIMP DO IT DONT LET YOUR DREAMS JUST BE DREAMS JUST D O I T
  • Luxord/???: Don't fight the Ticky Tock Card Shark. Play a game with him. It'll be much more fun, plus he'll critique your strategy when you lose and tell you how to get better. He's a p cool dude.
  • Marluxia: I don't man know he has a scythe I wouldn't go near him.
  • Larxene: Not if you don't want to get shanked by an electrified kunai.
  • Ansem the Wise/DiZ: He is a weak old man and not long for this earth. Punch him.
  • Terra: This sloppy child is stuck in an enteral purgatory because he was a such a sloppy child, and you want to fight him? K.
  • Ventus: Don't. He is too pure for this world. Don't. Besides he's sleeping. Don't wake him. Shhhhhhhh.
  • Vanitas: Fight the jealous evil Sora. He's a child but he could still use an ass kicking.
  • Aqua: Do not fight her what the hell are you doing she's a fucking Keyblade Master and the fucking Queen of your shit you shitwad she'll kick your fucking ass.
  • Eraqus: Why do you want to fight Luke Skywalker.
  • King Mickey: He's called King for a reason tbh.
Shattered

Author: Emmy

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,600+

Warnings: Bad language words maybe? Idk I can’t remember.

Author’s Note: It’s been a gazillion years since I’ve written anything so I’m sorry if this is actual garbage but at least it’s completed garbage so there’s that. Also, I didn’t edit this. Partially because my back hurts too much to keep sitting at this computer desk and partially just because of who I am as a person (I’m lazy). Let me know what you think??

Originally posted by wintersthighs

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ASKS - The Theatre

Asks sent to my main, answered here. Theme - the theatre department, theatre majors, Midsummer Night’s Dream

cleonibbles said: Oh god the poor stage technicians. Half of them are probably actual ghosts stuck in an endless purgatory of trying to wrangle actors and directors and *fey* and they don’t even realise they’ve been dead for twenty years. A newbie backstage says the name of the Scottish play mockingly and all the techs (alive and dead) start shrieking, and the newbie soon joins the ranks of the jaded wraiths.

I can’t stop laughing at this mental image.


marithehighpriestessofmoloch said: As a theatre major I can confirm that backstage is DEFINITELY a liminal space and we also have a basement full of old costumes and set pieces and stuff like that next to the dressing rooms, and it’s called the catacombs. I found what I’m 99% sure is bloodstains down there. Sometimes we use it for extra dressing rooms when there are too many actors, and it’s the creepiest place I have ever been and I could imagine the fair folk hanging out there being nostalgic over old productions tbh


archerfox said: Do you think the superstitious nature of actors would help them? And would their non-fae superstitions have weight at elsewhere?

Superstitions are a knife with another knife for a handle. The nature of belief at unreality means that if you follow the superstitions around theatre (or anything else) because you have total faith they will keep you safe, then you will be safe. The play will go well. Nothing will break.

But. If you believe in the superstitions heart and soul (and as a collective, the theatre department of Elsewhere University absolutely does), then failing to adhere to them will have genuine consequences, without fail. 


thatgoldensky said:Based on the last theater ask, do the gentry like a midsummer night’s dream or have they made it abundantly clear that they do not approve. I’m honestly not sure which is more likely as they are attracted to the lights and glamour of the theater and it is mostly safe to show films featuring the fair folk if they are not negative portrayals. On the other hand may but take too kindly to the bard’s version of their king and queen.

They love the glitter of the show and the madness of the backstage; it’s got a peculiar kind of magic all its own. They take no real offense to the portrayal of the king and queen because the Royalty are honestly so far and away from Shakespeare’s portrayal that there’s not even the possibility you will catch their attention (and thank every god you can name for that small grace). In general as long as the portrayals of the Gentry are neutral shading to positive the play is safe to perform; because they enjoy the theatre so much there is perhaps a little more leeway in what you can get away with.


huinsutt99 said: Okay the comic mentioned the Court being present in the theatre and I have to ask - what do the Gentry think about the theatre students? Not just the performance related people, but all of the technicians and people who work backstage?

They feel about theatre tech the way most students feel about magic. Objectively there’s no magic present at all, and yet…

5/5 Stars.

I devoured this book in a frenzied state of awe, feeling grateful each moment to be experiencing something so beautiful. I’ve never read anything like it.

The entire story takes place in one night. Abraham Lincoln’s young son, Willie, has died, and grief-stricken Lincoln returns to the crypt several times to hold his boy’s body.

The narrative is entirely unique: a combination of brief excerpts from historical texts (mostly real, I believe?) about Lincoln and a cacophony of voices from the ghosts in the cemetery where Willie has been laid to rest. It takes some getting used to at first, but it’s brilliant.

The ghosts—and now Willie—are stuck in purgatory, and Willie’s arrival will change everything for them as they seek to help him transition to what comes next.

It’s a dazzling and deeply moving work of speculative fiction that delicately confronts the most profound topics: death, grief, love, sorrow, loss of a child. It’s tender, humane, funny and wildly inventive, written in prose that flows like poetry. I ached for the characters and felt such deep compassion for them, as Saunders clearly did, too.

I can’t think of a more beautiful and affecting meditation on love, life and death. Reading this was a gift and I’ll be surprised if there’s a better book this year.

i. here’s a story: there’s a boy and he keeps dying and he keeps dying and he doesn’t want to die anymore and his body doesn’t know how to be a body anymore and you’ve never liked the way this story goes.

ii. you keep turning yourself slaughterhouse, keep turning yourself killing floor, and there’s always blood in your mouth. you never did mind the taste.

iii. you keep looking for absolution in other people’s mouths. you keep begging them to tear your body apart in search of something holy. you still don’t know that’s not how this works.

iv. you’re the kind of holy that even gods are terrified of.

v. shh, shh, this is just a story. 

- BOY AS SLAUGHTERHOUSE

Vernon/OFC: I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you (m)

Originally posted by sneezes

Genre: Fluff/Romance/Friendship/Angst/Implied Smut

Word Count: 6588

Characters: fwb!Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, various Seventeen members

Prompts: fwb!Vernon, five times kissed + one, friends-to-lovers, gratuitous use of film, music and book references.  

(a/n) My Christmas gift to my lovely followers. It’s not necessarily Christmas themed, but I hope you guys like it all the same. Much love!

The first time was Begin Again.

He was just fed up. Fed up with his perpetual writer’s block, fed up with how behind he was in education, and all over just wishing for some peace. Vernon missed sleep. He longed for how easy it was back in middle school to fall asleep, to collapse on his bunk and have a full eight hours to happily ponder over absolutely nothing. Now, whenever he did get around to sleeping, he was stuck in a purgatory of being infinitely restless. He felt nervous whenever he closed his eyes, thinking about what kind of packed schedule he’d face in a couple hours’ time, or that he could be spending this time perfecting his lyrics.

But the movies helped.

It was sometime around the end of winter that this whole thing started. Some random neighbor waiting for the elevator to open, who had about two or so boxes stacked so high he couldn’t see her face. When the elevator just didn’t want to help her out, she wedged her sneaker between the emergency exit to the stairwell.

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Giving Up

Pairing- Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader

Sam came out of the bathroom and sat on one of the motel beds. It started out calmly you were talking with Sam about what to do. You opened up to him about how you felt, and that you missed Dean and that you wanted him back.

You and Sam needed to find a way to get Dean back. “That’s not a good idea Y/N.” “Why not, Dean’s saved you a bunch of times, and you’ve saved him more than once. Why is this time different?” 

“It just is.” Sam was telling you to move on when Dean got sent to purgatory and you were saying you can’t. “Dean made me promise, you need to too.” “I can’t go on without him Sam.” You pleaded with him, but he wouldn’t listen. 

“He’s stuck in purgatory, you need to get over it. Get over him. He’s never coming back. I’m done with hunting, I’m done with this life Y/N.” 

Sam was already packing his bags to leave. “So you’re going to leave just like that. You’re not even going to try and save him?” 

“No and neither should you, get over him!” “I CAN’T” you yelled at him. “You’re glad he’s gone aren’t you Sam?” “You can’t just give up on this life Sam.” “Watch me.” He grabbed his bag and he left.

“If you’re leaving you aren’t taking the impala, you chased down the hall. That car, stays with me. It’s for hunting, and I’m going to continue hunting.”

You continued to argue on the steps. “I don’t want my little sister hunting on her own.” “Too bad, you want out, I’m doing it on my own.” “Whatever, I’ll call and check in.” “Okay” you agreed. He threw you the keys, and left.

You continued the hunting life, you tried everything to get Dean back. You even tried to sell your soul.

You haven’t heard anything from Sam since he left you only got 2 phone calls. You drove out to where Sam was to see if he was okay. When you got there and you got to the window, you saw that he was more than okay. 

He has a girlfriend and a dog. Wow, that’s why he never called me, or returned my calls. ‘Whatever’ you mumbled to yourself and walked back to your car. 

“Y/N wait” you turn to see Sam. “Save it I don’t want to hear it.” “Just look at me.” You turn to look at him. His girlfriend came out and stood next to him. “I have to go.” 

You got back in the car and went to one of the cabins that Bobby had. You got in you spent a few nights there. You found a case it was a werewolves, simple enough.

You went in and got it. You came out with a few cuts and bruises. It scratched you across the shoulder. You were tending to your wound when someone came through the door.

You looked it was someone who looked like Dean. “What the fuck.” You got the Holy water and splashed it on him. nothing. Silver Nothing. “Dean!” “It’s nice to see you too Y/N” he told you. 

“Where’s Sammy.” You looked away. “Y/N where’s Sam?” “We got in a fight, he gave up this life. He doesn’t want to be a hunter anymore Dean. He left.”

“He left you here on your own!” “He told me that you made him promise you wouldn’t try to bring you back, so he didn’t. He told me I shouldn’t either and that I should just get over you because you were never coming back.”

“He told you that?” “Yea, I was surprised too.” “When he left I chased him out. I told him he wasn’t taking the impala. I told him that it stays with me, it’s for hunting.”

“He just gave you the keys.” “After a little arguing, he told me he would call to check in, that only happened 2 times.” “Why?” “He met a girl, and a dog.” “Wow.”

“How long have I been gone” Dean questioned. “A year.” “Sam did nothing to bring me back?” “No he told me you made him promise you, and that he wanted out.” 

“Did you?” “I tired everything Dean, Sam told me not to. He told me to get over you and to forget about you. I was so lost without you Dean. I made the mistake of opening up to Sam like I did you.” “Sam cares about you but-” “But he doesn’t have the bond that we do.” You interrupted. 

You were the middle Winchester child, and had the strongest bond with Dean.  “We need to go knock some sense into him.” “He doesn’t want us Dean” you told him.

Dean just sighed, shaking his head. “Where is he?” You told him, “are you going?” “Not right now, i’m going to spend time with my sister” he smiled and hugged you tightly.

You smiled and hugged him back. Finally happy to have your brother back in your arms. You spent the rest of the night talking. “I know you probably won’t want to, but if you want to talk about what happened while you were in there. I’m here for you Dean.”

“I know you are Y/N” he told you and grabbed you and hugged you again. “It’s getting late you should get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us. “What are we doing?” You questioned. “I found us a case.” 

“Don’t you want to rest?” “No way I feel great, and I will get rest tonight.” “Okay, if you’re sure.” “I am Y/N.” “Okay Dean, goodnight.” “Goodnight Y/N” he told you.

You went to sleep, and he laid down to go to sleep. You woke up in the middle of the night. He wasn’t asleep on the couch. 

“Dean” you called. You searched the cabin. He wasn’t in there. You searched outside. The impala was gone. “Shit” you mumbled to yourself. 

Fame, Harry's Style

Of the five, original members of 1D, Harry has been, by far, the most vocal about fame and its pitfalls.  He’s always been an enigma, of sorts - very open in the early years, but still guarded about his family and any truly private information.  To survive in the public eye, sensitive Harry had to build a shell around himself (something most people do well before they reach the age of 16.)  He had to learn that being famous and being known are two very different things.  I don’t think he (or any of the lads) were prepared for life in the spotlight.  I fondly remember a younger Harry who enjoyed tattling on himself - Tweeting when he got some deep heat in an unfortunate place, or mistook a tube of something for toothpaste.  This openness faded over time.  Harry was almost always on duty while 1D was active - often out stunting with a female while the other’s had an all too short break.  He was among the most over-exposed celebrities of the era and it took a toll on him.  

Harry loves attention, he loves to perform.  He doesn’t love people always wanting something from him - always taking, never giving - looking to devour him as if he were made of cake.  That’s what slowly drains the spark, life and soul out of so many in entertainment.  All celebrities project a certain image, they don’t share all of themselves openly - not if they hope to survive.  Harry’s image in 1D was one he hated, however.  He openly rebelled against his womanizer image, even in very early 1D interviews.  The image stuck, however, and he was stuck playing a character he wanted no part of.  Over the years, Harry has been trying to find a way to balance his love of performing, his desire to be known, his artistic drive, with his need for privacy.  Gradually, his womanizer image has faded.  Even though “relationships” with Taylor Swift and Kendall Jenner are still brought up, the idea of him bedding hundreds of women is usually not.  Today, he’s trying to move past his old image, be honest, authentic and maintain much needed privacy.  This is no easy task in the best of circumstances, but much more difficult for a closeted person.

I believe that Harry and Louis would be out now, if it were up to them.  For that matter, I believe that Harry could come out right now.  That said, he won’t come out without Louis and he probably shouldn’t in the middle of launching his solo project.  (http://old1ddude.tumblr.com/post/159198085792/gay-singer-harry-syles)  What he can do is continue what he started during the last 1D tour.  Harry, I think, is a very casual guy most of the time, but when it’s time to dress up he’s not interested in portraying himself as traditionally masculine.  Everything about his appearance during MitAM promo, in Another Man, his album cover, on SNL, on Graham Norton stands in direct contrast to his old image and even leads reasonable people to question if a straight man would really dare to dress like that.  To deal with the dichotomy of honesty, authenticity versus living in the closet and basic human need for privacy - Harry has taken a page from past stars - mystery.

Mystery is good for celebrities - they are more interesting when we don’t fully understand them.  Mystery allows him to show authentic facets of himself - allows him to be known, in part, while keeping a healthy portion of his life away from prying eyes.  For the time being, I think Harry will primarily express himself through his art and fashion.  (Fashion when he’s on duty - he’ll probably continue to wear “donut” hoodies when he’s on “free time.”)  I don’t think he’ll hide his goofy, dorky side that makes him so relate-able - though it will probably only come out in the occasional interview and on stage.  Time will tell how mysterious he’ll be when, eventually, he and Louis come out.  I think he’ll maintain it, largely - fame nearly ate him alive before.  That begs the question:  Why, if he’s going to be mysterious and express himself primarily through art, does he wear a Randy’s Donuts hoodie, pride pin and send out other signals that he and Louis are a couple?

I can not imagine Harry, or Louis queer-baiting the fandom.  I’ve been observing them too often and too long to believe they are capable of such cynicism, or manipulation.  Honestly, I believe Harry and Louis see the core of their Larry fandom as part of their (distant, second and third cousins) extended family.  They know most of us don’t badger them or their families with, “is Larry real?” comments, etc..  Some have been “alongside” them from the X-Factor days.  Larries validated Harry and Louis love - confirmed that many fans weren’t there because of sexual fantasies about the lads.  When an entire industry was telling them NO - the larries were telling them YES, “We love your love.”  It would have been much easier for them to go deeper into the closet, but I think they craved validation.  Harry and Louis want to keep their “extended family” in the loop.  The casual, average fan couldn’t make heads or tails out of Mr. R.B. Bear and company they were staged for the larries.  The song lyrics Harry tweeted left most in the dark - the larries figured (some of) them out.  They wrote a love story on their skin, most have ignored the obvious messages.  They haven’t been alone in their struggle, so I believe they deeply appreciate that.  We don’t know how much push an pull remains - when they will finally be out.  When we do get a little hint from Louis or Harry (even Niall or Liam for that matter) it’s not intended for the general public - it’s a little message for us.  I don’t believe they’re playing with our sympathies.  They’re kind of stuck in purgatory right now - the glorious light of “heaven” is visible, but they’re not there yet.  They are doing the best they know how.  For that matter, I don’t know if they want to come out with some glorious fanfare - time will tell.  I firmly believe they’re tired of hiding, however.  Harry want’s his Wiki bio to name Louis as his spouse and visa versa. 

It’s been little sad watching Harry hide more and more of his lovely self.  He will do what seems best for himself and Louis.  Harry is very young - trying to figure out how to share of himself and be known, without spending himself - giving too much of himself away.  He’s going to have missteps.  Some of his promo will likely make us cringe.  The press will continue hanging on to vestiges of his old image and stunts.  Even while being mysterious, he’s sending some very clear signals for those willing to listen.  Whatever works for Harry (and Louis) they don’t really owe us anything.  Things will change when they come out, but we shouldn’t expect them to start live Tweeting their whole lives at that point.  I’ll be here, offering my support, for however long it takes.

anonymous asked:

What if Santi really did kill himself with Molly and he's just a ghost wandering around being tormented forever because he's stuck in purgatory

ok so…thematically that’s pretty much true lmao. i’m just gonna throw any “santi is actually dead/in a coma” theories out the window because he is in fact very much alive– but in what way? 🤔

(santi’s present day story up until this point has pretty much just been him moving through the different circles of hell as he relives his past and it becomes increasingly more and more nightmarish…he’s been stuck there for a while, but when will he finally escape? 🤔🤔 )

A History of Love

12x12 coda, 1.8k

[ao3]

Objectively, Castiel knows what love is. It would be impossible for him to spend his existence watching humanity without gaining some understanding of it. For the humans, it drives and defines their lives – sometimes, it seems to be the only thing they think about, talk about, write about. Castiel sees it everywhere in his father’s creation. He sees it in Lily Sunder’s grief at losing her daughter. He sees it in Jimmy Novak’s pleas to protect his wife and daughter.

He sees it in the way that Dean Winchester looks at his brother. He sees it in the way that Bobby Singer looks at his boys.

(Nobody has ever looked at Castiel in that way.)

Objectively, Castiel knows that love is a powerful force that even the humans struggle to comprehend. He knows that, as an angel, it is not his duty to love. He protects humanity, but he does not love them. He knows he is supposed to love his father, but if that feeling is love he does not know why the humans hold it in such high regard.

Castiel walks upon the earth like a man but he holds it at a distance. He doesn’t know how to love like the humans do. He doesn’t even know if he can.

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