strutting my stuff

VLD as Moana Lyrics

Lance: watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough while I strut my stuff
Hunk: conSIDER THE C O C O N U T S
Pidge: at night we name every star, we know who we are
Keith: if I go there’s just no telling how far I’ll go
Shiro: i know it’s a lot, the hair, the bod
Allura: I will carry you on in my heart you remind me, that come one day I’ll know the way.
Coran (with the slipperies): IM SO SHINYYYY
Zarkon: it’s nice to see that humans never change
Slav: the village might say I’m crazy, or say that I drift too far

Oh Deer God.

Little backstory: I’m playing a game with my boyfriend and a few others who have been really wanting to play D&D for a while. My boyfriend is DM'ing so I’m playing a dragonborn paladin, and on the team is also a half-elf ranger, and a tiefling warlock. Well, after waking up from being dead (long story), we are now in a time when the world is ending, the gods have left, and everything is going to hell in a handbasket. We are led to the last bastion of civilization and we all go our own ways to do our own things. My paladin joins the guard because she just wants to help people, the ranger joins a group that goes out of the safe haven’s walls and scavenges for anything useful, and the warlock decides to do his own thing. This is the story of him doing his own thing.

Warlock: *heads to the druids tower to speak with the head druid who is a plant person* Hey, anything interesting going on here?

Plant person: Actually, I have this potion that I made that I’d be willing to pay you to test out. I have no idea what it does, but I’m fairly certain it’s safe.

Warlock: Works for me. *drinks the potion*

Plant Person: …

Warlock: …

Plant Person: … Well … how do you feel?

Warlock: Well … everything is tinged green … *turns into a deer and has to fight to keep his mental stats*

Plant person: Oh … huh. *takes notes* Um, can you understand me?

Warlock (OOC): I’m gonna fuck with him and pretend I can’t and- are there any plants in here?

DM: You’re in a druid’s tower. Of course there’s plants.

Warlock (OOC): Cool. I’m gonna start eating one.

Plant Person: Oh dear. Well … it should wear off in a few hours …

Warlock (OOC): Okay, now I’m gonna head outside and make my way to the infirmary.

DM: Okay, you make your way down the stairs and head outside, anything else you wanna do?

Warlock (OOC): I’m gonna strut my stuff.

DM (laughing): Roll a charisma check.

Warlock (OOC): *rolls a natural 20*

DM: The people believe that the gods have returned and that you are one of them walking among them. They throw money at your feet and start singing the praises of ‘Deer God’.

Me, the Warlock, and the Ranger (OOC): *laughing uncontrollably*

TL;DR: The warlock, in deer form, was so full of charisma, people started worshiping him as a god and it is now a running joke in our campaign whenever anyone says ‘dear god’ that we are now reminded of ‘Deer God’.

Strut Your Stuff

“Hey Ackles!” you chuckled as you watched him strut up to Jared with that sassy ass look on his face. “Did you ever audition for a part in Zoolander?” you chortled, getting both his and Jared’s attention. “Because with that sexy ass strut, and you’re blue steel look, Ben Stiller may never have gotten that part if you’d been there,” you teased.

Jared doubled over, laughter shaking his body violently.

Jensen however seemed unfazed as he continued his walk, the smirk on his face growing to the point that the little crinkles at the corners of his eyes appeared.

Your breath hitched in your throat as Jensen approached you. Your skin burned with the desire for him to touch you, but no one on set knew the two of you were together, so what you wanted most in that moment couldn’t happen. And man you wanted Jensen to shut you up with that talented mouth of his.

Jensen crowded your space, his left hand landing on your hip and slightly pulling you close to him, whispering in your ear.

“As I recall, you very much enjoy the way I strut my stuff,” he teased his breath hot on your neck as he slowly pulled away.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you went to shove him playfully. He caught your wrists in his hands, pulling you back to him, his lips inches from yours as he breathed you in. What he was doing, you had no clue, but everyone was going to figure the two of you out if he kept it up.

“Jensen,” you warned, half-heartedly before you were interrupted.

“Kiss her already, Ackles, or I’m gonna do it my damn self!” Misha called from offset.

You gasped and turned to give him a death glare, but suddenly Jensen’s hand was at the back of your neck, pulling your lips to his. Your were vaguely aware of the entire cast bursting into cheers, but Jensen’s lips on yours were so distracting that you grabbed two fistfuls of his jean jacket and pressed yourself against him.

“Cats out of the bag,” he smiled against your lips, chasing them as the two of you pulled away.

“Finally,” you breathed a sigh of relief, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him back to you.

Hiding your relationship with him had been stressful. Not being able to touch him, kiss him when you most wanted to.

Now, the secret was out. Jensen kissed you hard before whispering against your lips.

“I love you, woman.”

It was the first time he had said it, but you knew if he would say it here, in such a vulnerable way, that he meant it.

You were gonna marry that boy. You just knew it.

anonymous asked:

Isn't it weird to think that you were once a sperm and you beat thousands of other sperm by reaching your mothers egg. An entirely different person could have taken your place and you probably wouldn't be who you are. You could have been a female but that Y chromosome tho.

My sperm strutting her stuff to the front of the line

Originally posted by moonlightbx

  • Psychic: *reads my mind*
  • Me: Well, Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam
  • I was a drab little crab once
  • Now I know I can be happy as a clam
  • Because I'm beautiful, baby
  • Did your granny say listen to your heart
  • Be who you are on the inside
  • I need three words to tear her argument apart
  • Your granny lied!
  • I'd rather be...
  • Shiny
  • Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck
  • Scrub the deck and make it look...
  • Shiny
  • I will sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck
  • Just a sec!
  • Don't you know
  • Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb
  • They chase anything that glitters (beginners!)
  • Oh, and here they come, come, come
  • To the brightest thing that glitters
  • Mmm, fish dinners
  • I just love free food
  • And you look like seafood
  • (Like seafood)
  • Well, well, well
  • Little Maui's having trouble with his look
  • You little semi-demi-mini-god
  • Ouch! What a terrible performance
  • Get the hook (get it?)
  • You don't swing it like you used to, man
  • Yet I have to give you credit for my start
  • And your tattoos on the outside
  • For just like you I made myself a work of art
  • I'll never hide; I can't, I'm too...
  • Shiny
  • Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough
  • Strut my stuff; my stuff is so...
  • Shiny
  • Send your armies but they'll never be enough
  • My shell's too tough
  • Maui man, you could try, try, try
  • But you can't expect a demi-god
  • To beat a decapod (give it up)
  • You will die, die, die
  • Now it's time for me to take apart
  • Your aching heart
  • Far from the ones who abandoned you
  • Chasing the love of these humans
  • Who made you feel wanted
  • You tried to be tough
  • But your armour's just not hard enough
  • Maui
  • Now it's time to kick your...
  • Hiney
  • Ever seen someone so...
  • Shiny
  • Soak it in 'cause it's the last you'll ever see
  • C'est la vie mon ami
  • I'm so...
  • Shiny
  • Now I'll eat you, so prepare your final plea
  • Just for me
  • You'll never be quite as...
  • Shiny
  • You wish you were nice and...
  • Shiny
  • Psychic: the fuck
Weight loss. Or, lack thereof.

Okay, gang, let’s do this. Let’s write an honest and open post about my weight loss. Or, more precisely, lack thereof.  

In the past being disgusted with how I looked in the mirror drove me to take the required action to change something.  I’d cringe when I saw myself in reflections or photos, and in turn that would drive me to eat better and get my bum on a run or to the gym.

Today, at thirty two, I don’t have that same distaste for myself. In fact, I’m rather confident in my own skin.  Yesterday I spent the day at my apartment’s pool (which can only be described as Vegas in Detroit. Proof in my Instagram story: Lizclaire_ ) strutting my stuff around in my not-so-itsy-bitsy-tiny one-piece red polka dot bikini bathing suit and didn’t give two f*cks about what people thought about my jiggly thighs, or tummy. 

A., has noted many times he likes me for me and doesn’t think I need to change. I’m confident and comfortable around him too.  It’s a huge win for me, and I am thankful I’m at a point in my life where the number between my toes is just that, a number. It doesn’t define anything about me or the way I live my life. 

But. 

Because there’s always a “but.” 

The other day I was walking up stairs and my knees hurt. Wait, what? Because of my weight? And my dresses which sit around size 14 are too tight on my waste and it’s annoying me SO MUCH.  Especially as I have a wedding in two weeks and have soooo many perfect dresses for it, but they don’t fit. UGH.  (ps wedding guests dress suggestions welcome!). 

Each day I tell myself I’ll do better, and then I walk into my office’s breakfast and have a chocolate croissant (<– this may or not have happened this morning).  I keep telling myself I’ll start the My Fitness Pal app again, but then never bother to open it, and I keep telling myself I’ll exercise, but then sit on the rooftop of my building and drink wine (<— may have happened last night). 

I need that burst of motivation I used to get naturally.  I need to get my oomph back. I need to get healthier and fitter and not have sore knees(!).  So in the spirit of blogging about weight loss again, here I am, vulnerable to the Internet, in the hope that I can hold myself accountable through regular updates, honesty, and holding myself accountable. 

So… Operation Lose 10 lbs:

  • My Fitness Pal: 1,800 calories a day
  • Walk an average of 10,000 steps/day each week
  • Run/sweat/move at least twice a week
  • At least one update a week on this blog (with numbers and honesty)
7

Parenthood Review…

Simmersss,

Can we take a moment to understand how much I enjoy this little tid bit of the pack? (JOURNALING). I remember a time in my cc days when I use to strut my stuff over to ModtheSims to grab Plasticbox’s journal mod. Just so that it would appear that I was “nostalgically” writing in my notebook. This is EVERYTHING. I literally, live for the little things in this pack. 

Crazy as this may sound, This time around, I wasn’t too keen on the clothing; and the furniture had me at the kitchen build|buy mode, mostly. But if you are questioning the genuine gameplay of this pack you better grab it! I adore all the animations thus far. 

Remember those days when the thrill for TS4 kept you up until the wee hours of the morning- gaming and exploring every little crevice and it’s entirety? This brings you back to that friends! You are not going to finish this in one night. 

Here’s my 2¢’s on what I think about this pack from a semi cc-free game’s perspective. Here’s My A++’s.

  1. Packed Lunch
  2. Journal
  3. Legos
  4. Goodnight Kiss
  5. Clutter!
  6. PLACEMATS! (Can you believe it?)♥

So, do I like it?

I give it: ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ 

Creature Feature: Niffler

The Other Slytherin (Series)

Masterlist

Newt Scamander x Reader

Summary: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Niffler.

Originally posted by mugglenet


It had been a few weeks or so since Newt moved in and your life had changed quite drastically. First and foremost you had to get used to sharing your space with another human being, so that meant changing how some things were placed and organized. You and Newt fought a bit on where certain objects should be placed since you were more partial to organization, while Newt was partial to efficiency.

You also had to set some rules around the house when you learned that Newt was the ‘organized chaos’ type. He knew exactly where everything was, except they weren’t done neatly. You, however, were the neat, ‘everything-has-its-place’ type. It drove Newt mad that you were so particular on placement but he complied when you argued that you compromised with having several and possibly dangerous plants inside your home. You would have preferred to keep all plants on the balcony outside, which you had been doing before Newt moved in, but Newt insisted that some plants thrived better indoors, he even switched out your fake vines for real ones.

Both of you had made an extra effort to teach Dougal about all the plants inside the flat, from those he could safely nibble on and those that he was absolutely forbidden to go near. Dougal picked up on anything he was taught quickly, so it made things easier.

You and Newt were finally getting into a natural rhythm as the days passed, but one day, something quite peculiar occurred. 

“What in the world…” You muttered as you stared at the empty drawer that was supposed to be filled with your silver utensils. You checked the other drawers to see if perhaps Newt had moved them again, but you were baffled when each drawer you opened was either empty or had things missing. 

You could feel your breath quicken and your heart start to hammer in your chest as you even checked your cupboards for any of the silverware, only to realize some of your pots and pans were missing too and then something even worse occurred to you. You ran to your china cabinet opening it gently, despite your haste and opened a large, ornately decorated box. When you saw that all contents of the box were missing too, you screamed.

Newt came rushing from his room, wand at the ready as he had Dougal cradled in one arm, he nearly tripped over himself upon entering the living room. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Newt asked in a slight panic as he walked to your side. 

You couldn’t even form words as you just shook the empty box in front of him.

Newt stared at the box, unsure of what you were trying to convey, “Is it a boggart?”

You gave him an unimpressed look as you shakily told him, “My spoons, Scamander. My collection of decorative spoons, given to me by my grandmother, all of them, gone! All our silverware is gone! Even some of the pots and pans are gone! We’ve been robbed!”

“That’s impossible. Your wards are practically impenetrable.” Newt tried to reason, and that’s when you realized, that he was right. You made sure that no other human, muggle or wizard could enter your home unless they were invited in and you wards easily reflected simple spells, such as a summoning charm. You narrowed your eyes as you looked around, replacing the box back into your china cabinet.

“No human being can get past my wards and summoning charms are virtually null, so that can only mean that some manner of creature stole my spoons!” You angrily declared as you took out your wand and quickly revised your wards to prevent any creature from entering or leaving. 

“Do you think whatever stole from us is gone?” Newt asked you as he looked around, seeing if anything else was stolen.

“No, whatever stole them is still here. There’s an enchantment on one of those spoons that prevents it from leaving my vicinity without my knowledge. My initial panic made me forget about it, but it’s definitely still here in the flat.” You explained.

“You must really love these spoons,” Newt observed.

“They are family heirlooms, Scamander. Passed down from generation to generation, each spoon made by the current matriarch of our family. Reminding us of our humble beginnings as silversmiths.” 

“I never would have thought spoons could have such a rich history. So how do you plan on tracking down this mystery creature?” 

You turned to Newt a bit perturbed at his question. “Track? There is no tracking needed.” You waved your wand effortlessly as you cast a spell, “Accio, Regalia Spoon!”

Within seconds something came hurtling towards you and Newt was quick to react, shielding you as he encased the object in a bubble. However, it was no object that was caught in his bubble. It was a creature as you had guessed, a black, fluffy creature with a long snout and webbed, clawed feet. It tried to escape the bubble to no avail as it simply kept bouncing off the walls. It tried to run, hoping to roll the bubble with it but it remained stationary. Soon enough it grew tired and just stared back at you and Newt.

“Aww. It’s fluffy.” Newt cooed.

“It’s a thief!” You growled, scowling at the creature; it shook in fear of your furious tone and demeanor. “Return what’s mine, little thief and perhaps I’ll consider not turning you into a purse!” You threatened the shaking creature as it quickly dug deep into a pouch on its belly and began to dump the contents. You and Newt were gobsmacked at the number of items that kept coming from the creatures pouch, some of them weren’t even yours. There was even several hundreds worth of galleons and jewels that could even make the Queen of England envious.  “Merlin’s beard! It’s a criminal!”

“I think I actually know what this creature is,” Newt said as he continued to stare in fascination at the creature who was still emptying his pouch.

“Are you being serious right now? You are more concerned with the kind of creature it is, rather than the fact that it is literally dumping millions worth of stolen property on our floor!” You exclaimed in incredulity as you watched the pile of treasure at your feet continue to grow.

“It’s his nature, he can’t help taking such things.” Newt calmly explained.

“He? And what do you mean ‘such things?’” You asked as you waved your wand, commanding the pile to organize itself. Seeing the mess irked you and you made sure to return what belonged to you, back to their proper places. Everything else organized itself from coins, jewels, miscellaneous kitchenware, small weapons and what you could only guess to be potion ingredients.

“Shiny things. This creature is a Niffler. I’ve seen them before in Gringotts. Furry little creatures, notorious for being attracted to anything glittery.” 

“If this thing came from Gringotts, then we should return it to them, along with this mess.” You said indicating the pile of items that now occupied your floor. As if understanding your words, the Niffler began to shake his head furiously as he made begging motions with his paws.

“I don’t think he likes that idea.” Newt interpreted. 

“Why ever not?” You asked, indulging him.

“Maybe they treat him poorly?” Newt guessed, to which the creature nodded in earnest. The creature then turned to you and widened his eyes, making them shine with crocodile tears as he repeated his begging motion.

“What’s it doing?” You asked Newt, a bit perturbed at the creature’s actions. 

“I think it’s begging you not to turn him in,” Newt replied, the creature nodding again as it pleaded with you. “Aw. He’s apologizing. Can’t we keep him?”

“Keep him? What, like a pet? Oh, absolutely not! That thing–”

“Niffler.” Newt corrected.

“That niffler, stole from us!”

“But he’s sorry! See? Look at that face, how can you deny that face?” Newt pouted along with the creature as they both looked at you with doleful eyes, even Dougal, who had been a silent observer to the entire thing, mimicked them. 

Your eye slightly twitched in frustration and soon enough you sighed exasperatedly. Newt tried to contain his smile at your wordless acceptance. You turned from the three of them and returned to the kitchen to continue what you had been planning on doing before the entire mess began, to start dinner. 

Newt smiled at the little Niffler as he popped the bubbled it was encased in and carried it and Dougal to Dougal’s playpen. 

“That mess better be cleaned up by the time I’m done the cooking, Scamander! Or so help me, I will turn the both you into decorative baggage!” You exclaimed and Newt winced at the threat as he looked towards the assortment of items. There was no real way to return them all to their rightful owners so the only thing he could do was to submit everything anonymously to the Ministry’s Lost and Found.


A/N:  Shiny! Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough, strut my stuff; my stuff is so Shiny! *dances to the beat* something a little less adventurous and more comic relief lol

@sinuhmyn-apple @myrtus-amongst-the-stars