Well, my friends are gone and my hair is grey I ache in the places where I used to play And I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming on I’m just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song
I said to Hank Williams, how lonely does it get? Hank Williams hasn’t answered yet But I hear him coughing all night long Oh, a hundred floors above me in the Tower of Song
I was born like this, I had no choice I was born with the gift of a golden voice And twenty-seven angels from the Great Beyond They tied me to this table right here in the Tower of Song
So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll I’m very sorry, baby, doesn’t look like me at all I’m standing by the window where the light is strong Ah, they don’t let a woman kill you, not in the Tower of Song
Now, you can say that I’ve grown bitter but of this you may be sure The rich have got their channels in the bedrooms of the poor And there’s a mighty judgment coming, but I may be wrong You see, you hear these funny voices in the Tower of Song
I see you standing on the other side I don’t know how the river got so wide I loved you baby, way back when And all the bridges are burning that we might have crossed But I feel so close to everything that we lost We’ll never, we’ll never have to lose it again
Now I bid you farewell, I don’t know when I’ll be back They’re moving us tomorrow to that tower down the track But you’ll be hearing from me baby, long after I’m gone I’ll be speaking to you sweetly from a window in the Tower of Song
Yeah, my friends are gone and my hair is gray I ache in the places where I used to play And I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming on I’m just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song
Campbell Newman, Liberal politician and known turtle-person, has lost his seat of Ashgrove in the recent Queensland state election.
“Well, that sucks.” He said as he chewed on some tadpoles he had just caught from wetlands he had recently poisoned in anticipation to the widespread destruction to the Great Barrier Reef he had wanted to inflict on the state.
“I guess I didn’t say "stronger Queensland” enough times? Isn’t that how you win elections? You repeat the same lie over and over despite all the facts going against you and hope people have short term memory loss.“
"Maybe it was the inflection…” he pondered to himself as he shoved more live tadpoles into his mouth. “Stronger Queensland. Stronger Queensland? STRONGER! queeeeeeeeenslind. Strongah Quinslond. Stronedict Cumbersland. Stronger Queensland!”
“Just go home already!” yelled a frustrated ABC journalist who had been covering Newman live for the past hour as he had reached into his seemingly unending bucket of tadpoles. “It’s over! IT’S OVER!”