strolling goats

optomisticgirl  asked:

"Why are there goats in our house?" - CS with a side of CC? ;p

“We’re back, love!” Killian announced, head still stuck in the file in is hand as he entered the house. “It appears one Jack nimble is detained and…”

He trailed off when the clip of animal feet caught his attention. He looked up to see two goats stroll past him and towards the kitchen area as if they’d lived there all along.

He turned his bewildered face towards the living room where a nervous Emma grinned as him. 

“Hey babe!”

“Love… why are there goats in the house?”

“I can explain.”

David chose that moment to enter behind the pirate and comment on the livestock roaming free. 

“There was a mix up with an oder.” she began.

“What kind of order?” Killian asked, unable to comprehend just what Emma had ordered to result in farm animals taking up residency in their home.

“Well..” a series of grunts and clucks voiced from behind the basement door.

“Just… don’t go down there.”

“Swan, when we talked about getting a pet, this wasn’t what I had in mind. A dog or cat or something, not a whole pettingzoo- that git is eating my cress!”

Killian charged into the kitchen area to try and save the cress he’d been growing from the mouths of the goats.

David approached Emma, eyes begging for an explanation.

“You remember that feud you had with Bo Peeo?” David nodded at her. “Turns out she’s not over it.” 

Before David could respond, another outraged cry came from the kitchen.

“Bloody hell- Emma! This filthy fleabag has done a whoopsie on the tile!” 

flutter-butters  asked:

💛

Peer into my muse's memories
💛 = A memory that makes them feel angry

Ah, the mountains. They were about the only good thing there was to Yak-Yakistan. Now, mountain climbing wasn’t much of a threat to Discord, since he was able to fly with just a single thought, but he got a thrill out of it anyway. After all, one never knew what would happen.

It was great to get away from the Yakistanian palace, too. Celestia had once again beaten him for the trillionth time in chess, and the Yaks were getting on his nerves with their yelling and their stomping and their constant demands for Yakistanian perfection. The food wasn’t all that great either, and oh, don’t even get him started on the beds!

So it was good for him to have a day to himself to do whatever he wanted, and today he felt like climbing up the highest mountain he could find and plant a flag there with his head on it. No…Climb ALL the mountains and put flags with his face on it! They could be everywhere!

The thought of such a ridiculous thing excited him, and he made his way up the mountain on a tiny trail, where one wrong move could send a pony falling off the side. 

That was, unless you were a mountain goat.

And with as long as Discord had lived, Fluttershy wasn’t the only one who could speak to animals. Discord had enough experience with them to know what they were saying.

‘You look like a goat. Are you a goat?’ 

Discord sighed. This ALWAYS happened. “I am not a goat.”

The goat followed him from behind, eyeing him head to toe. ‘You don’t look EXACTLY like a goat, but your ginormous head is kinda goat-like. You sure we aren’t cousins?’

A growl this time. “I’ve gone over this with many others of your kind. No, I am not a goat. I’m much, MUCH better than that.”

‘But you have a beard like a goat, and a gray coat like a goat. And that horn kinda looks goat-like. Kinda-sorta.’

This was getting annoying. “My horn is NOTHING like a goat’s.”

But the goat ignored him. Instead, he turned from behind and shouted, his head looking somewhere farther up the mountain. ‘HEY, HEY FRANK! C’MERE! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS WEIRD GOAT!’

Now Discord’s blood was beginning to boil. This goat needed to get lost. He turned to the goat, put his face right up to it’s face, and jabbed him in the chest.

“I. AM. NOT. A. GOAT.”

The goat blinked.

‘…You LOOK like a goat.’

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

So much for a day to himself. One goat became two goats, then three, then five, then a whole herd of goats were following him.

And they were all convinced that he was part goat, even as his entire coat turned red from fury.

He had to cause several avalanches that day just to keep himself from sucking them up in a giant vacuum, throwing them in a trashbag, and send them tumbling down into a dumpster.

And all throughout the day, Yaks kept hearing the same distant scream far from the mountains.

“I AM NOT A GOAT!”