stripping like a boss

poe has had at least one (1) complete break down over how beautiful finn is

jack merridew in ‘like a boss’

simon: mr. merridew, thanks for coming to your performance review

jack: no problem

simon: so you’re in charge around here, is that fair to say

jack: absolutely, I’m the bahss

simon: ok, so take us through a day in the life of ‘the bahss’

jack: well, the first thing I do is-

-

talk to choir mates (like a boss)

approve songs (like a boss)

lead my choir (like a boss)

remember pig routes (like a boss)

direct hunting (like a boss)

my own toilet bush (like a boss)

voice-cracking (like a boss)

where’s my c sharp (like a boss)

hit on ralph (like a boss)

get rejected (like a boss)

swallow sadness (like a boss)

sharpen spears (like a boss)

jack off alone (like a boss)

cry deeply (like a boss)

demand meat (like a boss)

eat more meat (like a boss)

harass the weak (like a boss)

no chief promotion (like a boss)

smelling pig shit (like a boss)

shit on ralph’s shelters (like a boss)

put the knife (like a boss)

to my throat (like a boss)

‘fucking shit, I can’t fucking do it, shiiiit’

pussy out (like a boss)

puke on ralph’s shelters (like a boss)

jump out the cave (like a boss)

suck roger’s dick (like a boss)

score some meat (like a boss)

crash my tribe (like a boss)

suck my own dick (like a boss)

eat some pork strips (like a boss)

chop my balls off (like a boss)

party in the woods (like a boss)

meet a giant pig (like a boss)

fuck his brains out (like a boss)

turn into a jet (like a boss)

bomb the island (like a boss)

crash into the sun (like a boss)

now I’m god (like a boss)

-

simon: aha- so that’s an average day for you then

jack: no doubt

simon: you chop your balls off and become god

jack: hell yeah

simon: and I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick

jack: nope

simon: actually, I’m pretty sure you did

jack: nah, that ain’t me

Inspired by blue-tigris who mentioned HIV positive Sebastian Moran

  • Sebastian being apprehended by some men who had it out for Jim, and they inject him with drugs via a dirty needle.
  • Sebastian making his way out of there and going to the hospital, asking to be tested. 
  • Getting the blood results back as positive, but he doesn’t tell Jim because he knows that it could just be a fluke, could be something slightly less bad, and he doesn’t want Jim to know yet.
  • Sebastian drawing in on himself and not talking to anyone, slowly pulling away from Jim because if he is infected then he would rather Jim think… he doesn’t even know, but he doesn’t want Jim to have to deal with him like that. A break would be easier.
  • The results come back positive a second time and Sebastian knows, and he goes home to tell Jim, to tell him that it’s over because Seb couldn’t live with himself if he got Jim infected too.
  • But Jim, who’s always a step ahead of every secret his tiger keeps from him is already standing inside of the door, hospital papers in hand, hands on his hips. “Were you going to tell me?”
  • Sebastian nodded, standing in front of Jim and feeling stripped bare. “Just wanted to make sure, boss. I don’t like giving you false information.” Taking a deep breath, Seb handing over his gun and his keys. “I can’t do this. Not like… not like this.”
  • “No.” Jim stalking forward, pressing Sebastian against the wall and pinning him there because he’s upset but he’s not crying. “No, you don’t get to leave me. HIV is not taking you away from me. I’m the only one who gets to decide when this relationship ends, and I will do so by putting a bullet through your skull. You hear me, Moran?”
  • Sebastian smiling softly because that’s practically an ‘I love you.’ So he wraps his arms around Jim and holds him close. “I hear you, Boss. Even through your tears.”
  • “Shut the fuck up, Moran.”

I had a really intense daydream a while ago about CL, Zico, Kris, and Yongguk. So, they all lived in a ghetto hood place with gang wars, drugs, and strip clubs and stuff, and Zico was like the “head” gangster so he bossed everybody around. He had Kris in his gang – but Kris didn’t like being bossed around so he rebelled against Zico a lot. Then Yongguk was the other “head” gang leader on the other side of the hood, and he had CL in his gang. They were like good ole’ ratchet buddies, but Yongguk was secretly in love with CL, but never told her. But, one night when they were in an underground club, CL stood up to rap against the almightly Zico, but Zico was astonished to find out that a girl was going against him, so he just laughed it off. But CL came out hard and blew the place into bits (not literally) and Zico immediately felt attracted to CL so he tried to hit on her after the rap battle, but Yongguk wasn’t havin’ that shit so he strarted to fight with Zico and CL was trying to stop it but Kris pulled her back and took her to his nice lamborgini and whispered sweet things to her, and drove her home and kissed her. It shocked CL so she immediately went inside her ghetto home and went to sleep dreaming about all three of them.

Random Frozen Head-canon Time...

I feel like it would have been interesting to see the plot twist happen a little bit differently. Say for example,

After having found out that the Queen was endowed with certain powers, the people of Arendelle imprison Anna as a precaution. After which, a caucus is called and it’s covertly agreed upon by all those in attendance, that Arendelle and its riches be divided up between the presiding dignitaries in secret.  With Anna out of the way and Elsa hauled up in a self-made prison on the outskirts of town, the foreign nationals elect that it would be wise to simply eliminate the Queen, should she later decide to reclaim her rightful rule over the kingdom. Hans, eager to prove himself worthy of his potential slice of sweet Arendelle pie, volunteers to lead the raid party. The mission is to kill the Queen, and return Arendelle to its former, rule-able glory.

Realizing that if he’s able to distinguish himself in this moment of mass hysteria, he may be able to cleverly lay claim to a much larger portion of the kingdom.  Even as reining King perhaps, granted he is able to win the public’s favor as well. Meanwhile in the castle dungeons, Anna somehow MacGyver’s her way out of her cell like a boss and strips the statues of Knights in the castle parlor for any usable weaponry.  She rushes off to save her sister, dressed in blemished, bad-ass medieval armor. 

I’M SORRY.