stretch for the splits

9

DCTV Ladies Meme: [1/15] ladies; [1/5] ladies of color: Dinah Drake (Arrow)
I thought people like you only existed in the movies, you know, two guys trying to overcompensate for their lack of manhood by taking it out on a defenseless woman.

anonymous asked:

Please, imagine: Victor and Yuuri lose Yurio in a crowd. As concerned parents they start calling him and suddenly Yuri sees it "...Is that a foot" Well why yes, Yurio is, indeed, doing a split stretch. When they get to him Victor asks why didn't he just raised his hand and all he gets is "Shut up, I was busy texting Beka"

masterlist.

est. 5/17 | primarily rated m for mature.

JJK

〚 givenchy & gold (m.) | multishot | completed
The fun part is hiding it, getting to hear Jeongguk whisper to you in the dark corners of the store where no one can find you. Someplace where you’re completely hidden from view with only his eyes and hands on you. You love feeling him on you, in you, all over you in places only a select few others have explored.
read here

KTH

fate of the fast & furious (m.) | oneshot | completed
There’s always that surge of adrenaline you feel in your gut whenever Taehyung kicks into those higher gears and goes a little too fast on the home stretches of city roads. For those few split-second moments, you realize why he’s so destructive, into such a taboo sport that other drivers curse at. You can only imagine what 150 miles an hour feels like, and the loud echoes of bike motors on the walls of underground tunnels, and the adrenaline rush that it brings a person.
read here


the cold | drabble | completed
You love being nestled against Taehyung, the flat plane of him, the warmth of his baggy t-shirts that seem to drape breezily right off his collarbones. His scent—something powdery and flower-like, probably cheap detergent, but it’s him, and that’s what matters.
read here

PJM

trick shot (m.) | multishot | completed
Jimin looks concentrated as hell, hair fallen into his eyes, but he looks through it. You make it look easy, like an art form, but to him it’s brand new. You step aside, watching him pull back on the cue with his dominant hand. Watching him bent over the pool table, ass tight in those slacks, and suddenly it’s hot in here all over again. A thirst not even the water in your glass can quench.
read here

KNJ

gutter sluts (m.)
coming soon!

JHS

signal (m.)
coming soon!


the night shift (m.) | oneshot | completed
The real finish line is the view of Hoseok, partially nude in nothing but telltale boxers. The sheet is the only thing pulled over his lower half, giving a tease of the idea that he may as well have absolutely nothing on. A view you long grew accustomed to before your nightshifts started and when you guys actually had time to fuck at night like a normal couple in heat. He’d fall asleep in nothing and you’d wake up to just his soft skin. Raking your fingers over the bones in his upper back because he always sleeps on his front.
read here

MYG

7:30AM (m.) | drabble | completed
This morning Yoongi’s got his arms around you, your favorite morning fog to wake up in. A mess of sheets and limbs. There’s no special occasion other than his lethargy, probably exhausted of waking up so early every damn day just for the sake of video editing, and you’re not complaining.
read here


rule of thirst (m.) | oneshot | completed
You hate that he can suspect emotion even from a mile away. Not even in a charming sense—the kind of knowledge you gain from living with someone in close proximity for so long and being able to read them from the inside out. He can literally read you like an open book, actually hear your pulse accelerate with strain and interpret your emotions like a codex. You can’t hide anything from him anymore.
read here


insemination wars (m.) | multishot | incomplete
Exhaustive research, careful planning, using calendars for things you never thought you’d ever have to use a calendar for. It all becomes a norm to your busy schedules. Except busy is an understatement and how the fuck are you supposed to put aside time to conceive a child when you don’t even have enough time to finish a taco salad at lunch?
read here

KSJ

restoration | drabble | completed
The bold truth hurts, but you’ve got to get it out of your head. Nothing could have convinced you enough to stay, not even Seokjin who had you around his finger from the start. He drowned you out of his mind so easily with his job, making you seem foolish for ever convincing yourself he’d be different and he’d show you more eventually.
read here    


only for a second (m.)
coming soon!


facets of greed (m.)
coming soon!

Plagues Against Mankind That We Shouldn’t Have To Deal With At This Point What The Huck

  • When your hair looks beyond amazing but no matter how many pictures you take it looks bad on film so you’re left alone in your room at 4:43 am suffering because you’ll now never have photographic evidence of the time your hair looked like it was styled by the angel’s themselves just in time for you to rush off to the Royal Ball. Only you will ever have this knowledge. You know the hair will be a mess by the time you see another human being again. Cursed.
  • Un-skippable ads in the MIDDLE of videos. what the hell.
  • When you order a Bloody Mary but it just tastes like straight tomato juice and nothing else
  • When you’re romantically frustrated and No One Wants To Take One For The Team And Just Date You Already
  • M. Night Shyamalan announcing a live action Avatar: The Last Airbender Two in 2017 the Year the Lord Abandoned Us, Apparently
  • The unseen forces that walk and jump on your roof all night long. They sound too heavy to be squirrels or raccoons. You never see anything up there when you check outside. You go back inside and the noises immediately resume, only this time you can now hear them laughing at you. Why Cant The Invisible Edgelords Remain Calm
  • Those birds that just dive right in front of your moving car
  • Owls in places and times where there Shouldn’t Be Owls
  • Donald Trump
  • When the dude living in your walls won’t stop blasting his techno bop music 
  • Having to use your rock pet to kill attacking bugs because you have no other means of defense 
  • the fact that I don’t know how to access podcasts and if I ask I’ll sound stupid
  • When your glasses are always smudged or dirty no matter what the hell you do seriously how the hell has no one invented something to stop this yet
  • When the Slurpee machines are always out of blue raspberry 
  • When people reference ‘the office’ while talking to you but you don’t get the joke because you’ve never seen ‘the office’ and when you tell them that you’ve never seen ‘the office’ they look at you as if you personally skinned their great grandmother alive
  • That…the fricking,,,,,,warm thing in the air that makes my body moist. Why that there. unnecessary attack from the planet. why. I want sweaters not sweat 
  • the fact that I Have No One To See Spider-Man:Homecoming With And I Am Distressed
  • When the wild rabbits don’t pick up on your psychic communication that you are one of them and they run from you
  • When the wine is expired 
  • When your favorite flowers only bloom for like one week a year
  • The fact that you are currently not eating chocolate 
  • Donald Trump
  • The fact that there currently is not Buffalo Chicken Dip entering my body
  • Those people that walk up moving escalators 
  • The guy that dresses up as Sulley in Disney World that grabbed my ass when I took a picture with him
  • Every Villain Is Lemon 
  • When all of your facebook memories are boring or depressing
  • The Cicadas That Are Laying In Wait
  • Those people that are rude to waiters and waitresses 
  • When you wanna write something but you’re hit with the overwhelming feeling that no one will ever wanna read it so What’s The Point
  • Batteries dying
  • The Vampire That Twerks Behind You Every Time You Look In A Mirror But You Can’t See Him Because He’s A Vampire But You Have The Overwhelming Feeling Of Knowledge That There’s A Vampire Twerking Behind You
  • The fact that Owen Wilson will never truly know we Value Him
  • When you’re not even making noise but a random old man complains about how much noise you’re making
  • The fact that there isn’t a 24/7 Law and Order: SVU channel 
  • People who can’t make up their minds about Dr. Phil
  • Cramps
  • really just wanna circle back here to the fact that my hair looks amazing right now I look like a 16th century maiden who is escaping her tower to attend the ball where she must slay the beast to save the kingdom this is my authentic past life coming through to make my hair look effortlessly gorgeous but the camera is not cooperating and No One Will Ever Truly Know 

  • Good tv shows getting cancelled 
  • People that unironically wanna have sex with Bill Cipher 
  • Being awake at 5:36 in the morning
  • The glowing orb that refuses to move out of your sock drawer 
  • Those little green men that sometimes escape out of jars in your cabinets and you gotta battle them for dominance of your own kitchen or else they’ll add too much paprika to all your meals…like, what’s their deal?
  • cats that don’t love you back
  • papayas 
  • Clovers that don’t have four leafs 
  • When you have to have matching socks to look professional 
  • ageing 
  • the T-Rex that insists on stomping down the street every time you’re trying to sleep
  • Aliens being hidden by the government 
  • When you rhyme by accident 
  • When you try to rhyme on purpose but can’t think of anything 
  • The fact that I just had to google how to spell ‘rhyme’
  • Gender Stereotypes 
  • The decreasing firefly population 
  • 7th graders that constantly stick their fingers through circles as a means of silently making sex jokes
  • Weeds that are taller than me I must be the Dominant Inconvenience
  • Fahrenheit vs Celsius
  • Telemarketers
  • Those guys that come up to your house to try to get you to buy Verizon Fios 
  • We’re Running Out Of Chocolate 
  • When John Oliver Steals Words Out Of Your Mouth Before You Can Even Think Them Like The Creature From Midnight
  • Zac Efron not showing up to the HSM 10th anniversary party
  • People who just really causally do splits or impossible stretches while your tensed up immobile ass is forced to watch
  • When You start doing squats but it starts making your butt get smaller and you grow distressed
  • People that are, like, unironically mean to other people. What the f o c k
  • All my socks developing holes in them
  • Crushes that go nowhere
  • the fact that no one ever thinks to respect the soft, gentle Molepeople that have been quietly helping our civilization along without reward for hundreds of centuries 
  • Werewolves getting mistaken for Skinwalkers 
  • The giant ball of flesh under the ocean that’s just waiting to destroy us all
  • People Who Don’t Get Your Sense Of Humor 
  • No one acknowledging your selfies
  • Hunters and Cryptozoologists not taking the hint that Bigfoot simply isn’t interested 
  • The fact I can’t figure out a clever way to end this post



  • Mankind Becoming the Plague Itself 
  • Conan O’Brien and his immense hidden power that everyone chooses to foolishly ignore. One day, he will reveal his true form and strike.

anonymous asked:

Ok but like imagine Yuuri and Viktor stretching and Viktor looking over and seeing Yuuri doing the splits ALL THE WAY DOWN. Like he just fucking freaks out. After Viktor's calmed down a bit Yuuri decides to be a little shit and tell him the other things he can do, like put his legs behind his head, etc.

OHMYGOD YUURI U TEASE

The Price of Privilege - Part 1 (A Kyungsoo Series)

Genre: Romance Fluff/Angst/ Future Smut - Arranged Marriage / Royalty AU

Characters: Kyungsoo X You

Description: Your time has come to marry the man your family has selected to take your hand. As royalty these important matters are arranged for you, but when you meet your soon to be husband, he is nothing like you expected.

A/N: I conducted a poll and Modern won over Historical so this story is a Royalty AU set in Modern times Starring Do Kyungsoo.

The Price of Privilege: Royalty AU - Angst/Fluff/Smut - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, Part 6


It came with the territory. You had been groomed for this for as long as you could remember. It happened to your three older sisters already and it had always been just a matter of time before it happened to you. Your younger cousins looked at you with wide, impressionable eyes that absorbed your mood and influence as you talked about it to them, just as your older sisters had talked about it to you.

You were lucky.

Everyone said so. Lucky for something so fortunate to happen to you.

Keep reading

8

“Do you remember what I said to you when you told me you were a lesbian?”
“’Thank god you finally said it’?”
“After that.”
“…’You better find a girl who deserves you’.”
“Yes! That! And this might be so shocking to you, but a murderous vampire isn’t what I had in mind!!”

Carmilla + Favorite Familial Relationship: Laura Hollis+Dad (requested by @bi-dominusrex)

[Send me a fandom and a number]