I remember the first hit,
It came from your mouth and not your fist
“You are just a stupid bitch”
That should’ve been the end of it.

But I couldn’t walk away,
So your words would hit me every day
Until your words were replaced
By the hands across my face.

I remember when you choked me
Your hands like rough fabric my tears were soaking,
I closed my eyes, silently hoping
That you would kill me- no more coping.

I remember that last hit,
Right before I called it quits
Screaming “I can’t fucking take this shit”
While my tears and blood dripped down your fist.

I managed to unlock this pen,
I packed up all my things and ran,
I finally escaped you then-
Never to see you again.

—  [s.bucks]
#25 // excerpt from a book I’ll never write
3

When Katya of Nizhny Novgorod oblast was a little child she was very happy one. She had mother that adored her. But when Katya was six her mother died. Katya was left with a father that had mental health and alcohol problems. When she was 15 years old Katya was placed in an orphanage because the child service staff decided that her father can’t take care of her. Katya was creating a lot of troubles for staff and other kids. She would cut her veins often and beat up other kids. She was very unhappy in the place and wanted to come back home to her father.  She even started to visit psychiatrist to deal with her aggression and other problems. But it was too late. On cold night of 5th February, 2017 15-year-old Katya strangled 7-year-old Vera (third picture) that was known as a very kind and ideal child. Katya was arrested. She didn’t confess to the murder.