Waking up in the mornings


  • Up by 4 AM every day to do his hair and go on a jog
  • “An athlete can only be good as his diet lets him be!”
  • No, seriously, he eats almost enough food for the entire Miyagi prefecture every single morning and it’s the most disgusting thing anyone’s ever seen
  • Fuck him, he’s a morning person


  • Grumbles as he forces himself out of bed at 5 to go jogging with Oikawa with sheer willpower
  • Likes to spend his breakfast sipping coffee and reading whatever catches his interest
  • His favorite breakfast meal includes a bowl of rice, two fried eggs, and fish
  • Not a morning person, but 8:30 to him is the regular person’s 10:30 so it’s chill


  • Is an absolute force of bitter death and destruction until he gets a cup of coffee into him
  • Once at the Seijoh Sleepover™, Oikawa hid Makki’s coffee grounds and was consequentially forced onto the ground in a strangle hold until they were given back to him
  • He can function as a human being and deal with people’s (Oikawa’s) shit much better after a cup of coffee as black as his soul
  • Favorite breakfast meal includes toast with sides of butter and jam, boiled eggs, and juice


  • Wakes up almost-late every day
  • Laziest motherfucker on this planet #2
  • Would eat a piece of paper for breakfast and not care in the least
  • His tongue is as dead as Squidward’s hopes and dreams
  • Coffee doesn’t really affect him so he has to suffer through the drowsiness on his own, rip


  • Is the most adorable thing ever waking up
  • Makes tiny yawning and grumbling noises for the first 15-20 minutes of consciousness and is extremely embarrassed that everyone says its the cutest thing in the world
  • Has and will fight you for all the meat on the table during breakfast
  • @ the Seijoh Sleepover™, he stared at Matsun with such intensity that he handed over the last octopus sausage over without argument


  • Will punch you if you try to talk to him when he wakes up
  • Glares at people like they murdered his entire family
  • Yahaba’s cutesy act leaves him speechless and red in the face
  • Really fucking loves rice
  • Usually eats convenience store crap for breakfast so he get’s really excited when there’s actual rice and shit


  • “He’s probably a monster when he wakes up”
  • “There’s no way someone can be so happy all the time, after all”
  • Rises with a smile so bright it’s like Jesus blessed his teeth
  • Wakes up and greets the day with a warm “Good morning! Wow, I slept so great last night!”
  • #ActualChildofGoodness2k16
  • Will eat anything and everything and comment on how delicious it is, and then offer to do the dishes
  • Hanamaki once threatened to slap him for being too happy


  • Goes to sleep at a responsible time
  • Wakes up blinking and lethargic for three minutes
  • Afterwards is completely normal
  • Loves greasy food in the morning


  • Laziest motherfucker on this planet #1
  • Didn’t go to sleep last night until 5 AM
  • Favorite breakfast items include poptarts, commercial cereal, extra sugary coffee, and a jar of melted salt caramel, i.e. enough sugar to kill a medium sized water buffalo
  • Is a literal zombie until he gets to school, falls asleep through his first three classes, and then starts functioning normally around lunch time

Jesus Camp: A Full Documentary

As I always say, if you have to manipulate and traumatise children… to get your point across? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

How to become an angry little volcano: watch this… try not to practice your Darth Vader strangle-hold on the adults involved (especially the pro-life asshole).

Holy shit… you are talking about kids as ‘warriors’ who need to DIE for THEIR GOD.

If you are putting DUCT TAPE over kids (as young as 5/6)’s mouths to protest against abortion… something they do not really have a concept of other than your twisted ‘tiny fully-formed baby model gets murdered by heartless women who dared get pregnant’ spiel… that’s NOT OKAY?!

If you have kids in hysterical tears…

…if you have them CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR…

…if they are so emotionally distressed they have o idea how to cope with it and are physically ill…

…if you teach them they are nothing but blank tools for God to use… and tell them being indiviuduals/having your own thoughts is WRONG…

…if you have them apologising to your imaginary fucking friend, to the point they reach any of those stages… 


It’s brainwashing? What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


And the anti-Muslim spiel in the first 7 minutes… rude.
Pretty sure they DON’T make 5 year olds do Ramadan, nor women who are menstruating or pregnant. Nor do ‘They’ (bc clearly all Muslim people are a block of identical clothes).

She throws down the idea of child soldiers (Islamic children learn to use guns and teach kids to strap on suicide bomb belts, apparently)… but then she starts endorsing the idea of Christian children being soldiers for God…

“I want to see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel, as they are in places like Pakistan… because we HAVE THE TRUTH!”

…you want to weaponise children.
No matter what cause, that’s wrong…

“Gotta take back the land.”

“The world is hostile to us true Christians…” 

…perhas because you’re just as fucking radical as ISIS at this point?!

‘Weaponise the children to die for God!’ she says, completely unironically as she condemns the ‘Islamic People/Muslims’ (they’re the same thing to her, apparently) for using children as soldiers.’



“Evolution is based on belief.”

…so… so is… your fucking religion?

“Global warming is a myth.”


This is why we still have racism, sexism and general human stupidity. 
Groups of radicals form communities, they teach their kids only Topic A, and that Topic A is the only thing that exists… anyone who believes Topics B through Z, are wrong (and going to hell).
It stops their ability to LEARN, to GROW and change.


“If you look at Creationism, you learn it is the ONLY possible answer to all the questions!” 

“Science doesn’t prove ANYTHING!” says the homeschooling mother, to her son. I am sorry the education system failed you so badly, madam… or did your parents not let you attend, either?

“Why would I send them to school, be away from them for 8 hours a day?” 
-so they can learn new things
-so they gain independance
-so someone can tell them rats-tails are so fugly
-so that they get sum lurnin’ in their noggins and don’t turn out like YOU


“I can go into a playground full of kids who don’t know Jesus, and in moments I can have them seeing visions of God… I can lead them to Jesus…”

Um, a) how fucking dare you approach other people’s kids wthout permission?
b) The metaphorical assumption all kids want to be taught about Jesus or ‘saved’. What if they had a religion already? Going to tell them they’re going to Hell over it? What if they decided they were atheist?
c) ‘Having visions of God/Jesus’… kind of sounds like you drugged them.
Stay the hell away from the kids.


The girl who keeps praying before she does ANYTHING… and keeps ‘conveying the messages of God to others’… that is not healthy.

“God just wants me to tell you…” (long rambling talk, to stranger lady who is humouring her bc what the fuck else do you do?)

The correct answer is a trip to the GP or psychologist

“I want to be a person who paints nails, so I could have someone there that I could then talk to about the word of the Lord…”
So, captive audience? You know they could walk out and tell everyone you’re nuts, yeah?

[It is annoying to be trapped omewhere and have someone start rambling about how you’re a sinner, and need to accept Jesus… I usually tell them I’ll see them in Hell, wink, and leave.]

She actually rings a lot of alarm bells, from a psychosocial assessment perspective; something else is going on for this kid.


The other kid who is told not to dance for fun, because if it’s not for God, it’s sinful. And believes it.

The same one who has to have a pledge of allegiance on the bible before every meal… that’s not grace, it’s like four paragraphs long.

Her mother:
“All children are on loan from God. And I said, Lord, you’ve given me this daughter, how am I supposed to train her? How am I supposed to take her to a place where she can learn these things? But the Lord told me what you have to train her in, is you have to train her in character…”
…character does not involve dancing unless it’s for God?


We haven’t even GOTTEN to camp yet…

[As you can tell, I have a long list of reasons I hate that this was  thing, and no matter how many times I watch it, I am still angry about it.]


Praying over pews (my really weird Gr 5 teacher used to pray over our individual desks every morning, it was really uncomfortable… esp when they -like he other teachers- reminded my non-Christian ass I was going to hell… detention for telling them I’d see them there, more than once).


“Let’s just walk out among the pews and stuff and  just pray over the seats… in the name of Jesus we just speak over every person that’s going to be sitting in these chairs this week, and Lord we just ask them to be covered with the blood of Jesus! Open Hearts, Lord! Open Hearts! Father we pray over the electrical systems, we pray the electricity will not go out in this building in Jesus’s name… because of storms or any other reasons and I just pray for this equipment. I just pray over this powerpoint presentations, all of them, video projectors, and we say Devil we KNOW what you love to do in meetings like this, and we say you WILL NOT -in Jesus’s name- you WILL NOT prevent this message from going out! No microphone problems in Jesus’s name, in the name of Jesus we SPEAK that, (babbling in something I think is meant to be Hebrew but sort of sounds more like a vocal exercise for singers when she says it).
Father we just ask you, in the name of Jesus that this will be a defining moment in their lives; Father I pray that Jesus will be glorified on this camp.”

-Weird Preacher Lady (who would probably never survive Ramadan, look at her… says I, a fat chick also). 

[…not unlike the morning, begin-class, end-class, before lunch, after-lunch, and home-time prayers f my weird cult-like private school (bf I transferred the fuck outta there)… which was why I nearly missed the bus all the time.]


“So we’re talking this week, about how the Devil uses tactics to destroy our lives. The first tactic that he uses, is to tempt you with sin. 
See when you first start out as a kid -cause see, that’s when all this stuff starts- see when you start out as a kid, sin just doesn’t seem ike that big of a deal…”

Well no, because they’re fucking KIDS… and should be worrying about being children, growing up, learning things and finding who they are… not worrying about apologising to some invisible old bearded guy in the sky for their existence and every second since?

Using the idea of burning alive for eternity is not a good parenting strategy?
Have you fucking HEARD of Super-Nanny?
USe a fucking NAugty Stool?!?!?!?!

“It looks kinda cute in fact, warm and fuzzy…” 

Well now you’re hurting your own cause, give me 40 of your SIN-ba the Lions Cubs… 

“…but sin is designed to destroy you. 
And you feed this baby long enough, and he’s gonna grow, in your life… until you’ve got yourself a tiger by the tail. And you don’t know which end is up, and what used to seem very innocent, now controls your life…
The Devil goes after the young… those who cannot fend for themselves, that’s why we’re trying to help you; we’re trying to warn you. 

[My favourite line from all of this mess:]

“ And while I’m on the subject, let me say something about HARRY POTTER!
Warlocks are ENEMIES OF GOD…  and I don’t care what kind of HERO they Are, they’re an ENEMY OF GOD… and had it been in the Old Testament, HArry Potter would have been PUT TO DEATH!”

Well thank fucking Christ Jesus said to ignore the Old Testament, then… huh? 

What fucking Witch or Wizard broke your heart to make you like this,you beetroot-cheeked, anti-magic galoot? 

…on the upside, it means Lucifer clearly has quite the extensive Potter library down in the Pit, so we all have something to read when we get there…

(same sermon, continued on after awkward clapping)

[How about you try to fucking stop me?!]

“This is a generation that is going to stand for PURITY, and righteousness and holiness, and you’re gonna serve the Lord all the days of your life!”

…that… that sounds a lot like slavery, the way you’re pitching it, tbh.

“And we declare all those things over you! I believe this so much, that I have given my whole life to see to it, that you get there…”



And now, the ‘Some kids here are liars, who dare to be different kinds of people when in church… and when at school with friends (where fanaticism is generally a leading reason for ostracism), so they are Christian liars!’ gambit.

“You’re a PHONY and a HYPOCRITE!”

…well I bet the Church tithes go towards your fucking kickass car, mansion and appetite you self-righteous bitch… you are trying to deliberately emotionally destroy a room full of kids to make them pliable to your agenda. WTF is your PROBLEM?

“ You do things you shouldn’t do, you talk dirty just like all the other kids talk dirty…  And it’s time to clean up your act… come up here and get washed!”

Yes, she does indeed have a water bottle. There are kids panicking to get washed clean. There are kids in tears…

“Because we can’t have phonies in the armies of God…”

Hold up, why must you perpetually refer to these children as soldiers?
It’s really disconcerting, how are the parents not seeing this shit as dangerous?
…also, God is supposed to be a peaceful, loving dude who forgives… why does he need an army? Why children? What sins are you hiding  she-of-the-pubic-coif?

 There are kids chanting, in trances,  in tears, having physical symptoms, having convulsions, falling to the floor, freaking out, so emotionally distressed… they CANNOT cope, swaying like they’re not in this reality…


“Father we wash them with the water of your word! We say Devil, no more! Say it boys and girls! Name it,repent! Name it! You know what you need to be forgiven for… name it, SAY IT OUT LOUD!”

…how… 1984 of you. 
What’s next? Rat-cages? 

Oh, look, kids are being lead out one-by-one to admit what they did wrong, and then pray under scrutiny… what the fuck…


Finally, that bit ends.

It’s storming… hah, the original anti-storm prayer failed.
Perhaps you should have left an offering for Ororo/Storm of the X-Men. 

Kids having fun in the dorms in the dark, being kids…

In comes asshole man, telling them not to have ghost stories because “Ghost Stories don’t honour God!” 



She’s editing a powerpoint… two slides… one says SIN, th othr DEATH… the latter she’s trying to augment with a font that allows it to look as if DEATH i dripping with blood.

Hang on, back the fuck up friends… is not the entire point of your religion… that if you do right, Death is NOT to be feared? There’s an Afterlife with Heaven and the like? Why make children fear dying?
Children die everyday around the world… and you, madam would make a fucking terrible terminal/hospice-styled social worker… 

[‘Well I’m sorry Timmy… you’re going to hell when the cancer comes for you tonight. You just wouldn’t take my aggressive religious propoganda to heart what with all this false-optimism and ‘enjoying your time remaining’ nonsense you keep pulling instead of reading the Bible and this book on Creationism I keep leaving here after every visit…’ 
Okay but seriously there are religious assholes who volunteer at services/hospitals for the terminally ill, and try to bully the patients into converting (to ‘save their souls’) which in no way takes into account the patients needs or care… it’s self-righteous nonsense and if I hear any of you are pulling this stunt… you’d better start running now.]


…and the punishment for a good, sinless life is ALSO death… what is your POINT here? She feels very technosavvy having mastered three slides… it’s kind of sad to look at.


“This generation,  particularly is a sight-and-sound generation… and so it’s very difficult for them to sit down with a book and a tablet and pencil and try to learn the way we’ve learned. ”

Alright, so if we’re the can’t-sit-still-to-learn generation… all of us, in a giant, genderless lump… what’s your generation? The bigoted, can’t-work-out-my-email-without-help-from-previously-ragged-on-younger-generation-member’s-help generation?

I just… why do adults perpetually do this.

She’s holding a fucking Barbie and Ken ‘Adam and Eve’ set… this is her version of Engagement. Try a laser pointer and some pixie sticks, it’ll get them moving…

“ They learn VISUALLY, They learn by demonstration…”
(shifts Ken!Adam and Barbie!Eve about to show them off). 

Oh god, she’s using a fucking balloon to symbolise God breathing ‘the breath of life’ into Ken!Adam’s nostrils… this hurts… she’s so SERIOUS…

“I tell the kids, ‘If you want to become a better Christian and have your spirit-man be STRONG, there’s certain things you need to do.. if you pray everyday…’” (pauses to blow balloon up more, it is our spirit apparently) “ ‘your spirit man will get stronger. If you go to church  and learn more about God…’” (more balloon blowing up), “ ‘your spirit is going to get stronger!’”

She now tarts to let the balloon deflate via the classy fart-iculation methodology. To emphasise what happens if you don’t read the bible, go to church or pray… which equal a weak-spirit-man…

For people who claim that transpeople don’t exist, she sure goes on about having spirit-men inside us… we’re all secretly dudes on the inside, huh? 
Et tu, hypocritus.


She has an arsenal of silly crap… I would misuse them all to be pro-sin…


Okay, her views on how kids’ minds work are hella offensive; like they’re idiots that can only be taught by shitty analogies. I would fight her. Immediately. 


During the morning grace, the man with the queerest voice I have ever heard (possibly on a pray-the-gay-away plan with the church) said the following to a room full of kids:

“And Lord Jesus we plead your blood over our sins and the sins of our nation. God end abortion, and send revival to America! Thank you Jesus, amen!”

…sir… sir I think you have some other things you may want to discover about yourself if you took a moment and put the religious propaganda aside… 

Not only that, but it’ not the first prayer, either. “Let’s pray again!” he shouts over the room. Some of the kids are trying desperately to eat in-between the never-fuckin-ending graces and prayers… let them eat, you dickbag. 


Ah, rat-tail boy is now preaching rising up with all your heart.

What if… I rose up and dealt with your rat-tail, son?  What does the Lord think on that one?


Oh, it’s ‘fun-time’ now… but like, why the ominous threat of ‘being different people after tonight’? that sounds like…  something very disturbing.

“How many of you want to be those who give up your lives for Jesus?” says the fat dude who probs wouldn’t give up his third burger to a starving homeless orphan. 

What fun?


“we’re going to break the power of the government! They came to your schools and they took Jesus OUT of your schools… but what they couldn’t do is take Jesus out of your hearts!” 

So your plan is to smash shit… because you are upset that school chose logic over fables? Um, okay, but anyone else who tried that sort of mindset, gets eithe th naughty stool or arrested. Great conflict-resolution ideas.

The ‘Holy Ghost Hammer’ smashing ceramic cups of sin… you couldn’t just play musical chairs? 

Kids making proclamations before smashing cups.


The chanting and swaying is back… kids are crying… one little dude on the floor seems to be having convulsions… little kids are highly distressed…

They’re breaking Satan’s power over the government.

Oh, girls out the front are trying to use the Force. Someone keeps screaming JESUS, kids are crying… oh look, trance states… 

“Unlike Mcdonalds, this isn’t about how fast you can go through the drive-through, you gotta cook a little!” 
o… what you’re saying is you’re hungry right now and making shitty analogies based on food fantasies happening in your head rn? It happens to the best of us… but REALLY?

GOD I A HAMBURGER, MY FRIENDS, you heard it here first.



Sir… sir, I’m going to need to see your Working With Children Permit… NOW.


Kids are back to wardancing. There’s camo paint on their faces.

How are parents okay with this?!

She’s screaming THIS MEANS WAR over and over, empowering small children to kill for God.


Rat-tail boy says, “Whenever I run into a non-Christian, there’s alwayssomething that doesn’t eem right about them…” 
No offence son, but you look like your parents were related and can’t seem to make a sentence without including God, Jesus or Christian in it… they’re probably more concerned about whether you’re going to flip out and shoot everyone in the name of the Lord… 


Okay, so… why are Rat-tail boy one and Rat-tail boy 2 wandering around, alone, in caves (with camera crew, but they are not registered guardians) without proper camp counsellor supervision?


Oh god, I forgot this part…

SO THEY HAVE THIS CARDBOARD CUT-OUT OF GEORGE W BUSH… and they treat it like he’s alive and there. Encouraged to talk to him.

“Welcome President Bush, we’re glad you’re here” kids the prompting of this wrinkly old lady who looks like she missed Jesus’s call only by shear fact that her hearing aids weren’t on at the time (and she can’t work her new-fangled voicemail).

They’re blessing Mr Bush now, and she’s encouraging them to run around touching him… because he is Jesus’s avatar in parliament. 

Now she’s encouraging them to point at the cutout and remind him, “Mr President, it’s ONE NATION UNDER GOD!” 



The Part I Hate Most.

The Pro-Life, I’ve-Never-Taken-Biology-In-My-Life asshole, speaker.

Who the FUCK invites an anti-abortion avocate to a CHILDREN’S CAMP? 

WHO?! No one Normal?!

Most of these kids are young, and the rest have never received roper sexual education… they’re just fed ‘it’s a mummy/daddy thing’ and ‘all life is sacred/starts at conception’ crap… even if they have no concept what conception is. Most never get the heads up on periods or puberty, either, becauese it’s somehow shameful…

But this guy, I actually want to physically fight.


So here he is… he’s wearing a red t-shirt with a hand-written ‘LIFE’ on it.
Note: he’s a dude. Easy for him to be o anti-abortion/pro-life… he just has to ejaculate and his part is over… 

Everything he says, with actions:

“I’m really excited to be here tonight, I usually talk to big people, but tonight I gedda talk to probably the most important generation in American History. Whoa! And I’m not just joking, where’s the young man? The young man with the long-hair?”
(looking for Rat-tail boy in audience) 
“Come here son. Stand right with me, what’s your name?”
[Rat-tail boy: Levi]
“Levi? Wow that’s a great name, Levi… you like Levi’s name?”
[Audience agrees]

“Here’s the deal, before you were born… God knew you. Extraordinary, he said this, ‘he said he formed you in your mother’s womb’…”

Spoiler Alert: Most of the kids don’t know what a womb IS, asshole. No proper sex ed other than abstinence-only. 

“You’re not just a piece of protoplasm…”

[Apparently he watched ghostbusters instead of taking biology?]

“…whatever that is…”

[Cute, but we know you watched Ghostbusters, motherfucker, too late to back out now.]

“…not just a piece of tissue in your mother’s womb. You were created intimately, by God…”

[So uh, apparently the whole sex thing is a shame and reproduction as we know it is a lie… gonna do it anyway, but hey, God’s making all the babies from here-on-out]

(Keeps making creepy faces at audience, supposed to be clownish to engage the children… comes off ‘I will take you behind the shed-ish’. Not a joke, creepy)

“Isn’t that incredible?”

[Yeah, actually, incredible, un-credible… impossible given how the human body actually works, your words…]

“God wrote a book about your life, and he wrote… ‘Levi, Levi would be a god-seeker from an early age and he would become a voice that touched America. And he would not sell-out, in his teenaged years, he would go for God all those days and he would be a man of prayer and in his twenties he’d begin to shake things real strong for God within the nation. God’s dream -the novel of Levi’s life!- signed, God.’ “

[I don’t know where to start… planning out the kid’s life… telling him not to ell out when the speaker and preachers are all evangelists with fancy clothes/cars/houses and their followers are poor (wonder how that happened), the fact this reads like a letter I once got from an unmedicated, delusional, god-fearing friend before she ended up re-admitted for her own safety…]

“What do you think of that? Pretty cool, huh? You’re pretty cool!
Now listen to me you guys, since 1973 up to 50 million babies never had a chance to fulfil the dreams God had for them before they had a chance to live their lives. That sad, isn’t it…?”

[So… just abortions… or do we count the children dying all oer the world everyday?
What about infants who are carried to term and killed at birth by gvernmental iofficials in China and similar places? What about the mothers in Africa and India who are foribly sterilised after a certain number of children and left to die of infection?
What about the baby girls of China, of India, of Africa, of many impoverished or war-ravaged countries where their worth is not seen as great as that of a male child, who are killed at birth or abandoned? The mass female infanticide that has thrown off the population figures, because they cannot be fed, or are seen as a burden… and the girls who ARE rescued and placed in orphanages face, dim, awful lives in poor coditions… those ones are counted, yes?

Oh, wait, no… you’re talking about the handful of women/transmen/agender persons and young teenaged uterus-havers who have had an abortion for any reason whatsoever. 
Well fuck you, sir… you will never know the complex situation of being pregnant when you do not want to be, and those people DID. Some of them maybe even wanted to be pregnant but had to have medical abortions for their own safety/health… pregnancy is incredibly dangerous.

AND, in America, it’s super-expensive.

‘Give it up for adoption’ doesn’t count… unless you have a family lined up and waiting, who will pay the medical fees… it’s not feasible for some people? And what if baby isn’t the perfect little bundle of joy? Adopters will find some other pregnant teen with a healthy/perfect baby, and leave you with a child whose needs couldn’t have been met even if they were born as average as any inant.

Those teen mums that your kind always bitch about anyway, demanding they stop being sluts or get jobs… where you would once have talked them into having the infant over abortion… now baby is here, you couldn’t give a damn about it!
The theoretical child, the cluster of cells in a uterus you do not possess or have ownership of, is more important to pro-lifers than the resulting child. It’s so paradoxical it boggles the mind. 
Not to mention, abusers can often use pregnancy to trap a female/uterus-having partner into remaining in the relationship; a biological tether, as it were. Or maybe they have six kids already, and he won’t gt a vasectomy… but (as a controlling arse) won’t let her have a hysterectomy as it’s against god’s law… but she’s over having kids. Maybe it was rape or incest or something horribly traumatic.
Maybe it’s medical. Financial. Or maybe they just don’t want to be pregnant.

And, it’s the damndest thing but… that’s their fucking right as sentient human beings with bodily autonomy. Babies are medically, parasitical creatures… they form inside the host and steal nutrients; like any parasite; this can cause detriment to the host, which occasionally results in necessary termination.
There are a lot of factors to consider… or not, because if you don’t have a uterus, you don’t really have a right to say anything about it. It’s that simple????]


“…you know a third of your friends could be here tonight, but they didn’t make it…”

[Um, alright… where to start?
1 in 20 fertilised eggs form correctly/start cell division in a manner that might form into an embryo. The majority(19/20) end up flushed out in a period, and miscarriages happen all the time -which a lot of Pro-Lifers like to use as evidence that a mother was sinful or undeserving, the vultures.
Two, how the fuck are they friends if they are hypothetical?  They could be the next Hitler/Donald Trump, that was thankfully remove as a cluster of microscopic cells? How dare you pull this on kids?]

OUT COME THE BIOLOGICALLY INACCURATE EMBRYOS... NEWSFLASH, MOTHERFUCKER, we don’t start out as microscopic fully-formed babies that enlarge over 9 months and the fact you are knowingly perpetuating this bullshit is just sad.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small…”

Look at this bullshit:


“God has a dream for them, like he has a dream for you.
You ee that? It’s kind of awesome! Look at that! Seven weeks old!”

Fully-formed baby at 7 weeks:


“Tonight, I believe, something is gonna start tonight that is gonna change America. Seriously, kids I believe that you are the beginnings of a movement that can raise up in moral outcry and overthrow abortion in America. Would you like to be a part of that kind of company?” 

Kids delightedly cheering. All attempts to teach them biology in future will fail. 
[I wonder how super-religious pro-life couples cope during their first sonograms… 
‘Um, where’s the baby?’ 
‘Ma’am, that is your baby, it’s only 8 weeks, though.’
‘No, it’s supposed to be a baby…?’ demands the father. ‘What is this thing?!’
Sonographer stares at ceiling bc they are sick of re-educating pro-lifers… gets out set of biologically accurate fetus moulds. ‘Okay, so when conception starts…’]

NOW hE PULLS OUT ALL THE STOPS… This is the part I disagree with most… to get them to show their dedication to not having abortions/allowing others to have abortions… he, creepy pro-life dude, pulls out RED DUCT TAPE.

What does he do with it? Scrawls ‘LIFE’ on a piece with a permanent marker, and then starts slapping them over the mouths of children.




They repeat it louder.

And the girl (pictured above, weird needs-a-psych eval girl) starts shouting they need Blood, Blood, God demands Blood….

After a lot of chanting about Abortion is sin… the fat preacher lady returns:

“You made a covenant with God, tonight, that you’re gonna ray to end abortion in America. Don’t take that lightly, don’t be a promise-breaker, on’t be a promise-breaker… be a history-maker.”

Wow, fuck, they’re all kids and you lay THAT on them!


Magically fully-formed from conception fetus + pro-life/anti-abortion band:

These kids are so brainwashed it’ll take years to iron out the kinks.

Oh, and I was right, JUST AMERICA.

Screw the people in the other countries, it only matters if uterus-havers in america (people with their own minds, rights and sentience) dare to choose not to be pregnant or cease being pregnant for whatever reason…

How dare you (a bonafide human being with needs and a future) offend a bearded dude in the sky who may, or may not even exist…  by choosing to exercise your right to bodily autonomy?!


And then they go on to watch an evangelist in a mega-church (who clearly is far richer than his poor congregation… hmmm, wonder where he got all that money?), he talks to rat-tail boy.  
Rat-tail boy and some others LEAVE The ChURCH CAMP with Pro-Life dude (and seriously where are the halth and safety people on this, he could just take them anywhere? He can just check out kids like library books for any purpose? Are the parents aware?)  to go protest abortion in the snow, highly inefectively. 

Then cut back to preacher-lady talking about the success that the camp was, proud of herself, etc.

A memo that the camp was investigated and shut down for child-related abuse/issues after this was shot. And that fat preacher lady clearly continued to do youth-based preaching after anyway. 



We made it to the end, Fam. 

They say demons own Los Santos, blackened souls running the city of saints, painting the streets with blood. They have a strangle hold on the city and all its inhabitants, have crowned themselves victors and refuse to be shaken from their throne, omnipresent and all but impossible to kill. Some call them lucky, deviously opportunistic, others cite stories of divinity or claim ill-begotten immortality. Most just call them the Fake AH Crew.

There’s the ringleader, the big boss, the undisputed king of America’s most dangerous castle. Understated danger, the presentation of clean-handed upper-management undercut by the slink of a predator. He exudes calm control, playing the game with smooth professionalism, but woe to any who disappoint him; rumours of his efficient brutality echo for miles outside the city.

There’s the right hand, driving like a bat out of hell but never out of control, inhuman ability to always be in the right place at the right time, never lost, never cornered, always two steps ahead of the game. A careless laugh whipping through the open window of a speeding car, the sure-handed grip on a sawn-off shotgun, an ever-present voice in the ear of the leader.

There’s the mercenary, wearing death as a mask, armed to the teeth and every part the king’s executioner for all his lack of  guillotine. The most frequently recognised despite his facelessness, a living nightmare, the real life reaper, as terrifying as any hollywood monster. He was long known to be a lone wolf, as unsuitable for teamwork as he was uninterested; unpredictable, untameable, a constant risk to any who try to control him. And yet.

Then there’s the pack of young ones, all sharp teeth and disturbing synchronisation, overeager and hungry for blood. The brawler who never goes down, brass knuckle bones and dynamite veins; the grifter who bends the world to his will, silver-tongue playing pied-piper with pyrite promises; the born-and-raised all-rounder who knows the city like the back of his hand, as stealthy and street-smart as any Los Santos survivor. The sharpshooter who never misses, the fire-starter who guides from the shadows, the thieves and hackers, arms-dealers and baby assassins. All astoundingly talented, all bizarrely invested in morbid amusement over quantifiable power, all somehow undyingly loyal to this one gang, one city, one man. To each other above all else.

A deal with the Fake AH Crew is not so dissimilar from signing away a soul, an inescapable countdown overseen by an unavoidable force, all slick condescension and cruel smirks.  There is no room for defaulted payments, no backing down or renegotiations; consequences will be enforced and one way or another the FAHC will have their pound of flesh.

There are criminals, bad men and women alike, and then there is this. These paragons of wrongdoing, masters of their craft who walk the walk and talk the talk but shimmer with something more, something almost etherial if not for the shadows. The crackling sparks of flames, the air of something dark and twisted, the strange impression of impending pain, of endless misery, of brimstone.

The realisation, when it comes, is much too late to bring about any salvation. The slow creeping dread of understanding; the rumours had it wrong. There are no demons in this city, no messengers of evil, low level servants of misdeeds, no. The Devil itself is alive and well in Los Santos, split between several bodies but no less potent for the treatment. Alive in Ramsey’s eyes, deceptively bright and gleefully unforgiving, in Pattillo’s slow chuckle and the Vagabond’s scarred hands. In the looks the young ones send each other, grins gone sharp and hungry as they circle their prey, sharks tasting blood in the water, skin washed red by the city’s glow.

  • Elias: So do you guys have any special skills that could help us out tonight?
  • Azusa: Like what?
  • Elias: Like, you know, Yukiya's good with knives, Luca has a bonus nipple, I got a burro, Klaus is good at strangling.
  • Azusa: I can hold my breath for six minutes.
  • Randy: Well, I can play the piano with my dick.
  • Klaus: Well, we're unstoppable then.

Cancer can feel simply exhausted by the harshness and negative qualities of humanity, that for all the compassion and empathy they put out there it isn’t changing the world fast enough. Reality can feel like it has them in a strangle hold, that it is uncompromising. They are prone to disappearing for days at a time, needing solitude to recharge and think over everything they have recently experienced. Simply taking in moments with no time to contemplate and rest will leave them full to bursting. 


It struck me on first watch how familiar Root’s moves were and then I went back and watched Shaw’s fights and what I saw seem to support the headcanon that Shaw must have thought Root how to fight.

Root’s movements were a little stilted but she seems to work on the same thing, evade, get a hit in (preferably a knee strike to the body or face– maybe someone more knowledgeable help me out!) and then strangle the other person until they pass out.

Root mixed it up and started with a strangle hold before she used the knee strike. On the other hand for Root and Shaw the strangle hold seems to be their go to move when they’re beyond pissed.

(Also, watching Shaw fight, I can’t help but note how smoothly Shaw moves, she flows into one move to another and it feels like her punch and knee strikes have weight behind them. I really believe when Shaw throws that punch, a grown man would fall back. And she really gets into the fight, closing the distance being very up close and personal.)

How to train your Mika; by Ferid Bathory.

Includes a variety of techniques to acquire a calmer, more obedient Mika - such as the popular “Horribly murder his family right in front of him.” method and the basic “Calming strangle hold.”

Buy now and get an extra chapter on the most effective times to comment on his obviously romantic feelings for Yuuchiro.

30% of profits go to Crowly’s hair dye fund.

Two people in the same situation. Two reactions. 

Emma looks shocked, downright horrified and cramps up. 
Regina stands perfectly still and displays nothing apart from some discomfort. 
She’s used to it. She’s been held in a strangling hold like this so many times in her life that the automatic reflex to struggle against this hold has diminished. This is the sad testament of years of abuse under Cora’s thumb. This is a woman who got so used to this choking hold that she hardly even reacts. 


very small thing i wrote for @herosdoppelganger

very small. strangulation, blood, lil violence? they’re enjoying themselves tho

The feeling of Jack’s dick pressed up against his ass is enough to startle Rhys into releasing his strangling hold on Jack’s neck. Instinctively, Jack gulps down the much needed air and ends up coughing from the effort - it doesn’t diminish the fucking hard-on he has, though.

Keep reading
Abbott government extends renewable energy investment ban to solar power
Clean Energy Finance Corporation banned from investing in small-scale solar projects in move industry claims is ‘revenge politics’ that will strangle the sector
By Shalailah Medhora

If the Government stops letting any alternate energy sources be manufactured we will have to rely on coal. This in turn will continue to keep as many of our coal mines open as possible.

Shitty news for the environment, shitty news for all present and future generations who’ll have to live with the ruined environment, shitty news for our economy since no effort is being made to investigate ANY other options to keep our economy strong while the rest of the world leaves coal behind.

This attempt to put our renewable energy sector in a strangle hold is more selfish, out of date, short term thinking that we’ve come to expect from the Government.