Hello Fanfic Writers, (and normal writers too, I guess) it’s time for a writing lesson.
Alright. I’ve recently read a slew of shitty fanfiction searching for a halfway decent Skyler Gisondo one. Not only did I not find anything that peaked my interest, I was able to compile a minimal list of suggestions for fic writers in general. So buckle up, because you’re in for some fun.
Okay so Serena apparently wrote this book about domesticated women and how these homemaker activities are feminist acts or something like that, but she literally doesn’t do any of them. She has a maid, a “martha,” Rita, who cooks and cleans and bakes bread from scratch, there are other maids who seem to do work when more people are needed. June does the grocery shopping, in episode 6 Serena says she is going to make their house a home, but all she’s ever done is cut dying flowers and knit some strange shaped thing. She can’t garden, she doesn’t do any housework, she doesn’t cook, she can’t get pregnant, what the hell kind of domestic goddess shit is this?? She’s just another rich bitch using other women’s physical and emotional labor to prop herself up. I’m sure she didn’t do any of these things when she had a job and was planning to destroy the government, things haven’t changed for her, she’s still a rich lady who takes credit for other women’s labor. Her whole way of life is bullshit, she’s a hypocrite who doesn’t even live by her own standard of womanhood.
so I saw this post (and it’s a super cute blog, 10/10 would recommend
if you like DA and weird modern aus) and it got me thinking
if Cole got the Inquisition’s hand-me-downs? Especially if you
consider how frequently the Inquisitor hoards new, better equipment
for their Inner Circle, there has got to be cast-asides, right? And
Cole just loves every single awful stitch of those hand-me-downs as
he builds himself outfits out of bits and pieces of all his friends.
Inquisitor gives him a sweater that proved to be too impractical for
someone who’s leading the Inquisition and is routinely wading in and
out of chaos. Or a pair of knit, strangely patterned socks that
their parents sent them but don’t quite match the “I am an
intimidating world power, respect and fear me” look that their
advisors are trying to encourage, and honestly mom there’s only so
many knit socks one person can own. Or just any of the various coats
and belts and rings and boots that they pick up along the way and
think yeah that’d be just about perfect…
gets a pair of Bull’s ridiculous pants that are so big on him that he
could just as easily use them as a tent, but he just cinches them
tight with a belt and runs around with them billowing behind him.
gets scarves from Varric when Varric catches him shivering one day,
just wearing his threadbare, patched shirt. (And if you want to go
further: didn’t Anders mention that he wanted to take up knitting?
Imagine a lumpy, weird-shaped scarf that Anders made him and that despite
everything Varric has held onto it all these years. But when he sees
Cole, displaced spirit who’s still trying to get use to the real
world and things like cold, he knows that Anders would want it
to do good for someone who needs it)
ruins a tunic training one day and instead of throwing it away she
lets Cole have it and he lovingly stitches it back up. (Blackwall
teaches him how to improve his sewing, because a man who’s travelled
alone for as long as Blackwall has he definitely knows a few tricks,
and he gets Cole some different, brightly coloured thread to use)
eagerly uses this thread to patch his clothes with bits and pieces
from all sorts of hand-me-downs that are too battered to be
scavenged. Just imagine all the plaidweave. Vivienne gives him some
of her own ruined robes to cut to pieces and use as patches just so
she won’t have to see anymore of that cursed excuse for fashion.
Cole takes to doing this, whenever Josephine gets in swatches of
sample fabrics from merchants she always passes them on to Cole when
she’s done with them so that he can have these various patches of
strange, exotic fabrics.
is all well and good of course, but Cullen also puts in an effort to
make sure that Cole at least has few pieces of real
armour among all this, or at least protective runes that can be added
to his clothes so that he’s prepared for all the people that tend to
want to kill you when you travel with the Inquisitor.
even ends up with some of Dorian’s old robes after he decides he
simply cannot be seen in them anymore, and Cole loves wearing them on
rainy days because the water slicks off the tough leather perfectly,
though he never manages to figure out all the buckles.
just becomes something that people do without thinking about it,
because old clothes need to go somewhere and Cole always seems
surprised and thrilled when he gets gifts. Eventually he has enough
that if you were to ever go to his little corner in the Herald’s Rest
and investigate the crates you’d find a couple filled with all these
hand-me-downs, lovingly folded and stored away for later.
end he looks like a positive rag doll but he loves it all with every
bit of his soul because it’s proof that instead of forgetting about
him, his friends think of him at random moments, see something and
think that he would like it, and lets him hold little bits of them
close to his heart.
WARNINGS: Slight smut. Language. There is mention of a baptism but i don’t go into full detail so I won’t offend anyone.
“I’m glad you invited me to this party.” The blonde chick from
yesterday said to him as he kissed her neck, “Yeah.” He mumbled
not really paying attention to what she was saying. “You’re really
hot.” Happy heard her whisper as he kissed her jaw. They were
currently in his dorm on his bed while Natasha slept in her playpen,
there was no way Happy was leaving his daughter with someone else
that could get drunk and forget about her.
Happy trusted Gemma but not enough to watch his kid at one of these
parties, but he would never tell her that…yeah he probably would.
Happy leaned back on his legs and pulled the chick’s shirt off,
having forgotten her name, then attached his mouth to her neck again
while spreading her legs. “Mm.” She moaned, “Be quiet.” He
growled with a glare. He made quick of removing her pants and
unzipping his quickly, not in the mood to fully undress since his
daughter was in the same room as him. She grinned when he ripped her
panties tossing them to the floor, he sat on the edge of the bed and
she moved quickly to her knees in front of him. “Fuck.” Happy
hissed quietly through his teeth as she licked him from his shaft to
his tip, his hand going to the back of her head pushing her to hurry
up. He hasn’t had sex in four fucking months since his life consisted
of feeding, changing diapers, and bathing the baby, no time for sex,
Happy hasn’t even been on a run.
And instead of freaking out, you start singing “Someone call the doctor~”I continued this here ‘cause I hate long titles
Thank you again for requesting, @rapunzelmw, you’re fantabulous!♥
At first, Baekhyun would judge you pretty hard for doing something so
strange, but he’d quickly realize that it was a serious situation.
Chanyeol knew the situation was serious, but he wouldn’t be able to
suppress his laughter at how cute you were trying to be. “Wh-What
was that, Jagi-ya!”
Chen would just stare at you for several moments, his head
ever-so-slightly shaking from side-to-side. “You really should
leave the jokes and stuff for me, Y/N, they’re not your strong suit.
Now, let’s go.”
Kyungsoo would definitely go along with it, laughing with you just to
keep you happy. He’d know you were just trying to make light of the
situation, and would want to help if he could.
Kai would look at you, lost and confused by your strange outburst at such an odd time.
“Are you going to be okay, Jagi-ya?”
Kris: Kris would try giving you a judgmental look, but his smile would shine through because of how adorable he actually found it. “Are…are you serious, Y/N? You’re so odd.”
Lay would chuckle at your actions, but he’d be entirely consumed by
the thought of them, forgetting that he would actually need to take
you to the hospital. You’d likely have to remind him in a more
Luhan might actually get a little cranky with the situation, but only
because he would be freaking out about the whole thing. “This isn’t
a joking matter, Y/N!”
Harsh judgement would be the only thing coming from this bratty maknae. “Omg, this girl must be delirious. If you’re going
to keep this weird stuff up, you can drive yourself to the hospital”
*sassy af, but he’d rush you there regardless*
Suho would likely scold you for trying to make a joke out of the
situation. “Stop messing around, Y/N, this is serious stuff!”
Poor Tao would have a hard enough time handling a situation like this
without your strange antics, so they would just be another confusing
hurdle for him to get over.“So…I need to actually call the
Xiumin wouldn’t believe what his ears had heard, so he’d just give
you a strange chuckle, knitting his brows together in confusion.
“C'mon, you strange, little thing, let’s get you to the hospital.”
Requested by anon:
i thought about an imagine of bbc sherlock where he gets a team with this woman who is so clever that he even tolerates her, and they have a mission so she has to seduce the enemy with all the red lips and dress and that stuff but when she’s at it ++ he discovers himself being so jealous that he even has to cut her off and when she gets mad at him for ruining it, he starts yelling his feelings for her, like being mad at himself for loving her lmao idk if that makes sense
Not my gifs: If gif(s) are/is yours, please let me know so I can give you credit.
A/N: So sorry this took so long to post! I hope you like it!
She was entirely impossible to him. The way she would always have a witty comeback, the way she was like him in the way that they didn’t have to ask each other what the other meant by the deduction they had just made. How he found her, he had no idea, but he was sure as hell glad he did.
The case you two were working on had led you to a sort of gala, and currently Sherlock was on the other side of the room watching you talk to your target at the bar, sitting on a stool next to the enemy and flirting with him. He couldn’t stand to watch you talk to another man like that with your perfect red lips and the black dress that hugged your curves perfectly in every way.
Why was he thinking like that? Like this? He shouldn’t have these thoughts about his friend, should he? Is that what friends did? He didn’t think of John that way, well not anymore. Maybe he should ask Mrs. Hudson about how he was feeling. No, she would probably just say it was love. Was it love? Was the great Sherlock Holmes in love? No, that’s impossible. He couldn’t love, his mind was a machine and he was married to his work.
Sherlock was brought out of his thoughts by a sudden cry of laughter that rang out over all the noise, which caused the place to grow slightly quieter. He looked over only to find the source was you. Furrowing his brows, he wondered what possibly could have been so funny to make you laugh like that.
He didn’t know what made him do it, but he rushed over there to you and pulled you away from the man all the way outside. It all happened so fast he didn’t even realize what he was doing until he felt the cool air against his skin and your voice.
“What the hell was that about, Sherlock?! You probably just ruined our one shot of getting that guy for good!” you exclaimed. Why was he acting so strange lately?”
He knitted his brows slightly. “I… I don’t know.”
“I don’t know,” he said a little more loudly than before.
“You have to know or else you wouldn’t have done it! Was it something I said? Are you jealous? Tell me, please,” you said and with each word your voice gradually grew louder.
“I LOVE YOU, OKAY?” You were taken back by his outburst, but remained quiet so he could continue. “You do something to me I don’t quite understand and it drives me insane every single day. Everytime I look at you, I get this feeling in my chest and my brain shuts down and I can’t concentrate. I am married to my work, I am a machine, I am not supposed to feel. I am completely in love with you, (Y/N), and I honestly don’t know what to do. ”
You stared at him in shock, surprised he had felt that way about you. You didn’t realize you were staring at him and hadn’t said anything until he waved a hand in front of your face. You shook your head and got out of your daze. “Sorry, um it’s just I wasn’t expecting that. At all,” you told him. “But I’m glad you said all of it, because I love you too.”
“Really?” You nodded and gave him a small smile. “Good. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t love me back.”
“Getting cocky now are we?”
“Yes - well, no - it’s just -”
“I know what you mean, Sherlock,” you told him as you wrapped you arms around yourself, noticing how cold it was outside and how few clothing you had on. You felt something drape over your shoulder and found it was Sherlock’s suit jacket. You smiled wider. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied. You rested your head on his shoulder. “Let’s get back to Baker Street, I’m sure our target is already gone.” And with that, the two of you went home.
Hephaestus stood in the midst of the bustling activity of their strangely tight-knit community ( as immortals, their problems were the same, as were their enemies ), wondering if perhaps he ought to set up a booth with a huge sign displayed above it, Will Work To Cure Boredom. Shrugging, he said - loud enough to be heard by anyone in the near vicinity, “Any requests I can handle? Will work to cure boredom … Oi! Wait. Didn’t mean to say that out loud.”