strange and unnatural

A traveler stops to rest in a small village at the edge of a forest. All through the night, he hears rustling outside the inn, and the sound of mysterious creatures creeping among the trees.

The next morning, he asks the innkeeper about what he heard. The other man nods sagely. “Ah yes, the wood is dark and mysterious. The village has many stories, but to find the truth, you’ll have to ask the trees themselves.”

So the curious traveler packs some bread from the inn with his belongings and starts off into the forest. The ground slopes down, down, and the underbrush thins out but the canopy gets denser. The darkness is soothing like deep water. Here, there is no rustling–just a heavy silence.

The traveler spends the first night nestled in the roots of an enormous oak tree, and when he awakes, an acorn has sprouted into a robust sapling where it fell on his coat. His second night he spends in a ring of mushrooms that weave his dreams with light and song. His third night he crawls into a hollow log that smells sweet with decay and smoky with the memory of a long-ago fire.

The forest is strange and unnatural, but it does not seem threatening. The traveler speaks to the trees every day as he walks but they do not answer. Still, he knows that they listen. His path is laden with sweet fruit and herbs, for he runs out of bread quicker than he would like.

Finally, on his fourth day of walking, the traveler comes to a stump in the center of a large clearing. The earth around the stump is obscured by layer upon layer of dry, dead leaves, and the boughs overhead form a continuous ceiling. A hatchet sits embedded in the stump. As he approaches, the traveler sees the letters of a hundred languages engraved in winding script around the handle of the hatchet.

“What is this place?” the traveler asks, half to himself.

A soft voice emanates from the hatchet. “You seek the secrets of the wood, and here they lie. Ask what you will.”

So the traveler asks his questions. The hatchet weaves a story of enchantment and legacy, of the people who once lived among the trees and the people who now live alongside them, of the slow, even breathing of the forest and everything within it.

At the end of the hatchet’s tale, the traveler speaks up once more. “I was told that the trees themselves would tell me their story. Who are you, and why are you the one who holds these secrets?”

The hatchet chirps a little laugh. “As for why, that is too long a story for even me to tell. But who am I? I am the lore axe, and I speak for the trees.”

Alright, the “humans are the weird ones” story bits are just to fun so I’m going to keep doing them. They’ll all be tagged as “human aliens” on my blog. Today: aliens encounter a crazy cat lady.


General Xanaxi’na was wary of trusting their human guide when she offered shelter from the “mountain lion” in what the human referred to as her dwelling. Their disbatchment had already lost three soldiers to this creature, so if their human could offer shelter from it’s vicious claws, well, they’d have to take it. Besides, this human was old and the human culture dictated that elders were wise, kind, and to be trusted.

The dwelling was modest, hewn from wood stacked in a criss-cross pattern, and they traipsed up behind their human as she produced a slim metal object, rolling her eyes when the troops reacted as if it were a weapon. She made a show of placing the object inside a metal orb in the middle of the door and turning it, opening a portal into the dwelling as she did. Before any more thought could be given to the potential weponization abilities of the metal object and the orb there was a shuffling in the brush behind them and a shoving match broke out to make it inside.

No one was prepared for the horrors they found once they were within the supposedly safe walls. 

Strange balls of fur were scattered all over the room–nearly twenty of them in total–and all different colors. Each had a strange strip of jangly fabric around it’s neck, causing an immense racket when the furs came running towards the group. Bio-scans immediately indicated that they were of a similar make to the dreaded “mountain-lion” still prowling outside and the remaining troops scattered, attempting to find shelter, only to find even more of the furs in other rooms.

Their human watched with mild amusement and General Xanaxi’na demanded answers. How dare she lead them into a trap full of deadly creatures like this?

The human broke out laughing, nearly doubling over in her mirth; “they’re, they’re house-cats!” she gasped. “They’re pets.”

“…What is a pet?”

“You know, a small creature your ancestors domesticated so you could have something to cuddle with? That one is Mr. Ruffles,” she pointed to a large white fur that the general could discern no structure to, “and that is Dorthy,” a fat grey fur with a strangely flat face and unnaturally orange eyes. The human continued to list off names as she pointed to the different creatures, the general growing more and more aghast as she continued to speak. 

Finally she scooped up a grizzled looking fur covered in patches of black and white. It had one tooth hanging out of it’s uneven mouth, was missing part of an ear, one eye, and one of it’s rear-limbs. 

“And this is Freddy. He fought that mountain-lion last year and won. Such a little trooper,” she said, smiling serenely as she held up the animal for the general’s examination. “Oh, and the lion’s name is Wilma.”

Clearly this human had gone mad.

* ( descriptive writing. )

Some words to use when writing things:

  • winking
  • clenching
  • pulsing
  • fluttering
  • contracting
  • twitching
  • sucking
  • quivering
  • pulsating
  • throbbing
  • beating
  • thumping
  • thudding
  • pounding
  • humming
  • palpitate
  • vibrate
  • grinding
  • crushing
  • hammering
  • lashing
  • knocking
  • driving
  • thrusting
  • pushing
  • force
  • injecting
  • filling
  • dilate
  • stretching
  • lingering
  • expanding
  • bouncing
  • reaming
  • elongate
  • enlarge
  • unfolding
  • yielding
  • sternly
  • firmly
  • tightly
  • harshly
  • thoroughly
  • consistently
  • precision
  • accuracy
  • carefully
  • demanding
  • strictly
  • restriction
  • meticulously
  • scrupulously
  • rigorously
  • rim
  • edge
  • lip
  • circle
  • band
  • encircling
  • enclosing
  • surrounding
  • piercing
  • curl
  • lock
  • twist
  • coil
  • spiral
  • whorl
  • dip
  • wet
  • soak
  • madly
  • wildly
  • noisily
  • rowdily
  • rambunctiously
  • decadent
  • degenerate
  • immoral
  • indulgent
  • accept
  • take
  • invite
  • nook
  • indentation
  • niche
  • depression
  • indent
  • depress
  • delay
  • tossing
  • writhing
  • flailing
  • squirming
  • rolling
  • wriggling
  • wiggling
  • thrashing
  • struggling
  • grappling
  • striving
  • straining

Appetite -

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse -

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault -

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful -

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal -

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly –

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal -

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous -

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark -

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious -

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy -

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic -

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic -

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp -

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded

Heated -

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger -

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry -

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense -

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid -

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe -

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan -

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving -

(exciting,) affecting, effective  arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need -

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain -

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful -

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted -

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile

Pleasurable -

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure -

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven


avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture -

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid -

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden -

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust -

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck -

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback

Torment -

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch -

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet -

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked -

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe -

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank

Living Next-Door to Teamiplier

This was fun to do. I couldn’t stop smiling while writing this! 
It’s pretty self-explanatory, this is a list of what it would be like living next to Mark, Ethan, Tyler, Amy and Katherine.  
Hope you guys enjoy!

Originally posted by murphranger

-You begin to question your neighbors sanity. 

-At first, you thought they were a bunch of hilarious nut-jobs. Maybe have a few screws loose and you should probably be worried for yourself. 

-But after meeting them personally and Mark explaining what he does for a living, EVERYTHING MADE SENSE! 

-After meeting everyone, you sort of fell into a sense of understanding and acceptance. 

-The first few times you caught the boys in dresses, you couldn’t help but laugh and crack jokes. 

-They flipped you off, jokingly criticizing whatever you were wearing at the time.

-Now, when you see Tyler in a massive turkey outfit, you just sip your coffee and wave at them from across the fence. 

-They’ve apologized many times for the weird noises coming from inside their house. 

-They give you some warning if they’re going to be doing stuff outside. Usually accompanied by Mark’s cooking because he felt bad about the loud music the night before.

-You actually went over and knocked on their door to make sure they were ok after hearing lots of screaming. 

-You found out they were just making a video. 

-They invited you inside to watch. 

-Funniest afternoon of your life. You still laugh about it weeks afterwards. 

-Amy and Katherine chat with you over the fence. They ask for cooking ingredients sometimes because Mark and the boys used it in their videos. 

-Anything you see through the windows, is entirely restricted to be spoken about between you and them. 

-You at first thought they were doing it for fun. (Which they were of course).

-But after watching a few of Mark’s videos and vlogs and live-streams, you’re safe to say you admire Mark and his work even more. 

-You donate to his live-streams and he shouts a thank you from the upstairs window. 

-You give him a thumbs-up from your side of the fence. 

-Ethan sometimes running to your house to hide from the others. 

-“They want me to do weird things, (Y/N)! Strange, unnatural things! Don’t let them find me!” 

-When this happens, you feign ignorance of Ethan’s location. 

-But Mark brings you over home-cooked meals and you give the blue-boy up instantly. 

-Ethan calling you over the fence because he doesn’t want to live with these “weirdos” anymore. 

-“I’ll sleep on the couch! I’ll rub your feet and clean! I beg you!”

-Him silently crying in your direction and mouthing, “Help” every time they shoot a video outside and you’re watching.

-Tyler is tall enough to see over the fence. 

-He leans over the top and chats with you while you’re gardening. 

-If you’re having trouble with something in the house, he’ll come over and help fix/move it. 

-Chica met you once and now escapes to go see you. 

-She’ll sleep on the front mat and wait for you to come to the door. 

-Tyler lifts her up so you can pat her over the fence. 

-You dog-sit when Teamiplier go away.

-The rest of the street think you’re all nuts. 

-Which is fine because you don’t like people coming uninvited to your door. 

-Except Teamiplier. 

-They pretty much treat your home like their own. (Within respective reason) 

-Mark knocks and enters.

-Ethan just waltzes right in. 

-Tyler knocks and waits patiently for you to open the door and allow him inside.

-Whenever something is thrown onto your side of the fence, the boys will try to clamber/jump over to get it. 

-This ends in a lot of swearing, sometimes a scrape or two.-Usually you throw it back over. But then it comes back a few more times. 

-So you sat on your side of the fence hitting whatever came over with a tennis-racket. 

-”Ignore the person on the other side of the fence!” Mark told the camera.
“They’re not important! They’re a nobody!” Ethan waved his hand in your direction.
“I’m keeping this ball now!” 

-Mark’s community have only seen glimpses of you. An arm or the top of your head peeking over the fence. 

-But you’re still a huge part of the channel since the boys call out for you in most of the videos that are filmed outside. 

-You answer them either with a loud, rude noise or a sarcastic comment that they all laugh at. 

-You had pretended to be annoyed when a stray foam arrow had flown through the open window of your kitchen. 

-But you couldn’t help but find the whole thing funny. 

-“Who the fuck just tried to assassinate me?” 
“Sorry! We’re really sorry!” 
“Next time aim better!” 

-Being Neighbors with Teamiplier is never dull. There is always something to smile or laugh at, and you have grown close to the bunch of weirdos over the fence.


Wynonna Earp [rewatch] ♪ 1x03 - Leavin’ On Your Mind

“You have seen a lot of strange things in Purgatory, unnatural things, so I do hope your mind is open.”
“Look, if you’re about to propose a threesome, I’m tired and I haven’t shaved my legs.”

Simmer // Archie Andrews

Summary: Archie and you have a fight when Veronica can’t seem to understand that Archie isn’t single but that doesn’t stop her from kissing him. During ‘Secrets and Sins’ some things you didn’t know are revealed causing a rift but with the sex be enough to convince you how much Archie cares?

Characters: Reader x Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper x Jughead Jones, Veronica Lodge, Kevin Keller, Cheryl Blossom, Chuck Clayton, Dilton Doiley, FP Jones, Jason Blossom (mentioned) and Ms. Grundy (mentioned).

Words: 3126

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Riverdale or the characters involved. Some parts of the dialogue from the episode has been changed to fit the fic.

Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, party, fighting, and smut.

Author: Caitsy

A/N: This was two requests I put into one!

Master List

Prompt List


Originally posted by riverdalesource

The minute Archie told you about Betty throwing Jughead a birthday party you knew it would go bad. When you were young Mrs. Jones would babysit you for extra cash, your parents doubled the average pay to her. That meant you grew up close with Jughead as if you were siblings or really close cousins and you knew how much he hated his birthday.

You were shocked when Archie allowed the get together build into a fill fledged high school part with two kegs in attendance. Your boyfriend was acting odd but refused to tell you why and you didn’t appreciated Veronica making eyes at your oblivious boyfriend.

Keep reading

Friends With Benefits: Bill Skarsgard... Chapter 1 (NSFW)

Life is good, great infact.

 I’m successful, I work on sets of movies as a make up artist and I’ve met some pretty cool people because of it. I have a nice apartment located in a nice area and I drive a real nice car. I moved away from my family home when I was only 18 and made a life for myself, I have more than most 20 year old kids and I only have myself to thank for it, hard work does pay off.

 I’m not the most social person and I’m not really that fond of letting people into my life, I guess I have pretty bad trust issues, hence why I’ve never really had a boyfriend, only casual flings.

 I have one best friend, the only person I thought worthy enough to come into my life. I trust him more than anyone else and I just know he’d give me the world if he could. Bill is the most incredible person I’ve ever met, and I just knew I needed him in my life from the moment I clapped eyes on him while he was working on the set of Hemlock Grove.  He’s selfless, loyal and one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Despite all these qualities, we’ve never seen each other in any other way more than friends, it’s just not us. We spend most of our time together, we have sleepovers, movie nights and even a key to eachothers places.


“You know, you should just start dating. Fully throw yourself into it, what have you got to lose?” Bill casually remarked, leaning up against my kitchen counter with his long arms crossed over his chest, a smile on his face.

 I snorted and shook my head, continuing to slice up some peppers.

 “I have no interest in meeting anyone, Bill. You might be a social butterfly, but it’s just not my style. I’m perfectly content on my own.”

 “Christ, Mya. You can’t just spend the rest of your life on your own, you’re 20 years of age. I bet you haven’t even gotten laid since moving here!’ He laughed, unfolding his arms and pushing back onto my counter, a big smile stretching across his full lips as he watched my roll my eyes.

 “I’ve met a few guys and it’s lead to a night together, I like sex but I don’t like dating.”

 “You’re more into the idea of friends with benefits than finding someone who you could potentially spend the rest of your life with?” Bill questioned, seeming shocked by my reply.

 I nodded.

 “Well, then find someone to have that relation with. I like sex too, nothing wrong with that.” He continued, picking up a slice of red pepper and shoving it in his mouth.

 “Bill, I’m not gonna just go out there and beg someone to have sex with me. It’s fucking weird, looks desperate and it’s 2016, I think guys are more into relationships than girls these days.” I muttered, throwing the chopped vegetables in a wok.

 “Liking sex doesn’t make you weird or desperate, Mya, it’s just sex. I fucking love sex, especially no strings attached sex.”

 “Then maybe you should just be the one I ask!” I joked, throwing my bleached white hair over one shoulder with a small laugh.

 Bill shrugged his broad shoulders, and rubbed his face. His long fingers curved along his structured jawline, rubbing softly at his cheek.

 “I mean it’s not a bad idea..”

 My mouth dropped open, Bill was prone to making jokes, he’s a funny guy but sometimes his remarks stunned you and you had to take a minute to process them.

 “I was fucking kidding.”

 “I wasn’t.” Bill replied, rolling up the sleeves on his grey t-shirt that fit him quite tightly and flattered his toned, elongated frame.

 I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him, but it seemed getting close in a way that wasn’t just friendly seemed messy and I wasn’t willing to lose my best friend, we’ve virtually been this close since we met a year ago.

 “Shut up, Bill.” I scoffed, turning my back to him and adding spices and garlic to the stir fry I was preparing for our dinner.

 In all honesty, part of me just didn’t want to look at him anymore, mostly out of embarrassment.

 He was right, and truthfully I was ashamed of being the way I was with people, sometimes I crave to be more like him. So affirmative, confident and attractive.

 I was so caught up in my thought that I didn’t feel his arms wrap around me, I gasped and looked down.

 “You’re gonna burn the food.” He murmured softly in my ear, his fingers grasping the stove’s dial and turning it down.

 I shivered at the feeling of his breath against the skin on my neck, and I could almost feel his lips turn upwards into a satisfied smile.

 He grasped me enough to turn me around back to face him, his eyes searching my face as I started right at him.

 He stepped back and relaxed, smiling casually like this situation wasn’t awkward at all.

 Bill has never made me feel like this before, there has never ever been an ounce of awkwardness within the friendship, until he basically offered to be my booty call.

 “Relax, Mya. I’m joking! Lighten up!”

 I gasped and smacked his arm, which only made him guffaw.

 “You scared me for a second, I full on thought you were serious. What would you have done if I agreed? Huh?” I retorted, placing my hands on my hips.

 “To be quite honest, I’d have dropped my pants right here and fucked you over the counter.”

 “You’re crazy.” I shook my head, his comment didn’t really phase me. Bill was blunt and just spoke his mind, he never really thought about was he was thinking, wether it was appropriate or not to say out loud.

 “I don’t know why you’re so against it, I’m single, you’re single. We’re best friends and it’s not like I haven’t seen you in your underwear before, I spoon you in it all the time!” He defend, waving his arm around.

 “We’re just friends, Bill. I’m grateful that you offered, it was kind and slightly weird but it was nice of you.”

 “Come on, Mya. You just said you wanted sex, not a relationship. I’m so up for it, and yeah, we are best friends. But that’s not a bad thing, it might be awkward at first but that’ll soon go! Think about it…” He urged, staring into my eyes.

 I bit my lip.

 It could be fun…

 I shook the thoughts away, and ran my fingers through my hair.

 “Things would be awkward, I can’t lose you..” His light eyes moved over my face, from my eyes down to my lips.

 I sighed, slightly surprised that I’d even considered using my best friend to take out all my sexual needs on.

 Bill took in a sharp breath and took a step towards me, making me back up against the wall of my kitchen.

 “I bet I can change your mind.” He whispered.

 My breathing hitched slightly as Bill was really close to me, his hands on either side of my head. He was pretty tall, over 6 feet. But I was also pretty tall, he was probably about 5 inches taller than me.

 We were really close together but I couldn’t bring myself to push him away despite how crazy this sounded.

 Before I knew what was happened, his lips were on mine and I was eagerly responding. My arms moved up to his hair, running my fingers through the length of it, tugging ever so slightly.

 There was a sense of urgency within his touch, his large hands moving down my sides to my hips where he clutched them almost painfully.

 It didn’t feel particularly abnormal for me to be kissing him, after all we were both after sex.

 I removed my hands from his hair and moved them to his cheeks, with one hand on either side of his face, I detached our lips.

 Our eyes met and we were both breathing heavily, almost panting.

 I couldn’t deny the fact I was aroused and Bill definitely couldn’t.

 “Why did you stop?” He questioned, frowning.

 “I don’t know if this is a good idea, Bill. I’m really worried things will get strange, once we have sex, we can’t just forget it. I don’t want our friendship to change, you’re the only person I can count on.”

 Bill shook his head in disagreement, he glanced at me for just a second before hastily pinning my arms above my head and moving his mouth to my neck.

 I let out a soft moan.

 “Okay fuck it.” I gave in completely, I crumbled under his touch. I was horny and he was too, that’s all that was required in this situation.

 Bill didn’t need to hear anything else because within seconds our hands were all over eachother, mine were tugging his shirt over his head and his were confidently unbuttoning my plaid shirt, pushing it back over my shoulders and revealing my black, lacy, see through bra.

 He groaned and moved his mouth to my chest, he payed particular attention to my cleavage and had a strong grip on me as I hastily undid his belt, practically yanking his black jeans open.

 Bill paused for a second and I momentarily freaked out, hoping he hadn’t changed his mind. If he had, it was certain that I’d be taking a very long shower and attempting to satisfy my needs myself.

 To my relief he only stopped to yank my leggings down my legs and I responded by kicking them off, as he also did the same with his skinny jeans.

 Bill and I were left in our underwear, him in his black boxers and myself in very revealing underwear. I watched as he looked me up and down, running his thumb across his plump bottom lip. His stare was hungry and dark, but there was something comforting about it, I wasn’t scared of him, not at all.

 In a flash Bill had picked me up and set me on the counter, his lips were on mine once again and he hands fought to undo the clasp of my bra, I hadn’t even noticed he’d gotten it off until his mouth moved from mine, I let out a quiet noise of dissatisfaction until he’d moved to my pierced nipples.

 I grasped his hair again, arching into his touch.

 “Your piercings are so sexy, fuck.” He muttered, pulling away and observing my almost naked state.

 He ran his fingers back through his hair, making it even more dishevelled.

 He bit his lip as he watched me remove myself from the counter, pressing my bare body against his.

 I could feel every inch of him, I could feel the heat radiating from his body and I could sense the excitement of what was to come.

 This didn’t feel strange or unnatural, it just felt good.

 “You’re beautiful.” He spoke, running his fingers down my arms.

 I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his comment, I was never one for compliments and he hated that.

 He kissed me gently and gripped my waist before pulling back with a smirk.

 “So, do you wanna do it here or in bed?”

 I sucked in a quiet breath, not quite believing we were gonna be doing this. I wasn’t that confident but at that moment I’m unsure what possessed me, because I stood up straight and smirked.

 “My room.” I answered, pulling on his hand, leading him out of the kitchen and away from the clothes that were scattered all over.

 I could feel Bill’s eyes on my backside as we walked to my room, him behind me as I seductively pulled him inside.

 As soon as we entered my room Bill slammed the door shut, span me around and picked me up, My legs were wrapped around his slim waist and our mouths were fighting for dominance once again. Bill had obviously been in my bedroom so many times before, but not quite like this. What we were doing now was bit of a step up compared to eating snacks in my bed while we watched a shitty film on the flat screen that he’d mounted to the wall for me. He knew where to take me even with me block his view, and before I knew it he’d practically thrown me onto the grey bed sheets.

 He had nothing but a pure expression of lust on his face, I propped myself up on my elbows and I ignore the sudden feeling of awareness that I was lay on the bed, in just a sheer pair of Brazilian knickers infront of my best friend who was 6 years older than me.

 I was so invested in my own panic that I hadn’t noticed Bill move onto the bed, he managed to knock me onto my back gently.

 His eager mouth went to my throat, kissing and biting down gently. My hips bucked unintentionally and Bill let out a dry laugh against my skin, his hand wondering down between my breasts, over my stomach and to the waistline of my underwear where he paused before pushing his hand down under the material.

 I let out yet another moan and his fingers explored while he began to kiss me once again.

 “Please.” I begged against his touch, between kisses.

 “You sure about this?” He questioned as he pulled away and kneeled at my feet, and I bit my lip in response.

 I hesitated slightly, could our next move ruin everything?

 Bill didn’t give me a chance to properly reply before he’d yanked my underwear off, well, ripped them off and buried his face between my legs.

 This time the noise that escaped my body was something I’d never let out before.

 His mouth worked magic, he knew every spot. He licked and sucked every part that made my body convulse in pleasure and writhe, he knew what made me weak.

 I wanted the feeling to last forever, it had been a long time since I’d felt touch like this. Infact, I’d never felt the way that Bill was making me feel.

 A sound of disappointment left my mouth as I felt his tongue move away from where I wanted it most and he leaned back over me, wiping his full lips.

 I tugged eagerly on his boxers.

 “Off.” I pleaded, pinching the elastic between my manicured fingers.

 Bill complied, standing up from the bed and watching me intently as he pushed his underwear to the floor.

 My eyes dropped to his impressive length and I mentally gulped, it had been a considerable amount of time since I’d had sex, weeks, months even.

 “Get on your hands and knees.” Bill demanded, his voice strong and confident.

 “Wait, Bill… promise me this won’t change things between us.”

 “Chill, Mya. It’s just sex, remember? No strings, no feelings, just two friends fucking. Now do as I ask, turn around.”

 I complied and was soon on all fours, facing away from him. I could feel his fingertips lightly tracing out my spine, moving to my ass where he slapped it pretty hard.

 I smirked, I wasn’t unfamiliar with what Bill was into. We’d shared those details a few times before, and he’d told me after he hooked up with a few different women.

 Jealousy cursed through me when he used to tell me, because I never got to feel the way those women felt. I felt like a stranger to pleasure, like I’d forgotten what the touch of a man felt like.

 “You’re still on the pill, right?” He asked and I looked back with a timid nod, this was happening now.

 It felt like a lifetime since we’d had the conversation of being friends with benefits, but in reality it had probably been about 10 minutes.

 And within seconds, I felt him rub against me while he stood behind me, one hand pressed to the small of my back.

 “You’re literally dripping wet, I like that.”

 I can’t explain to you the feeling of having Bill inside me, pounding away while one hand was tangled in my hair and the other clawing at my back.

 It felt like there was shocks of electricity cursing through my veins. I have no idea how long we were doing it for but I do know that I finished multiple times and we explored many positions.

 Before I knew it I was riding Bill, while both his hands cupped my breasts, sheer satisfaction was plastered across his beautiful face as I rode him, moving my hips against his.

 His lips parted and he clenched his fists before moving them to my hips, his eyes tightly closed for a second before springing open.

 “I’m close.” He let out between clenched teeth and this only encouraged me to spur on and grind against him harder as he was deep inside me.

 One hand left my hips to clench at the sheets, balling them up in his tight fist.

 “I’m coming.”

 My head dropped back as I continued to move while he finished, the feeling was indescribable.

 I slowed down completely and just sat onto of him as he gained composure and rode out his orgasm.

 “Fuck.” He breathed out between pants, both of our chests heaving.

 I braced myself against him, my hands flat on his chest. My red gel polish created such a huge contrast against his milky skin, and I took a moment to observe him.

 “Thank you.” I whispered and he let out a little smile.

 Bill had made me feel alive and I’d forgotten how much I missed sex, and even just the touch of a man.

 He tugged on my wrist, urged me to lie by him. I awkwardly removed myself from him and lay down beside him as he managed to manoeuvre the sheets so that they were over us.

 “That was so good, you have no idea. This is gonna be so much fun, I just know it.” Bill grinned, pushing the hair from his face and turning his head to look at me.

 I rolled my eyes playfully.

 He was right, this was gonna be fun.


- Just a quick little note, this will be a story with mutliple chapters but I’ve had this idea for awhile and just needed to get it onto paper, I wanna see what feedback it gets before I do Chapter 2, I worked quite hard on this and I hope you like it :)

8 types of kisses || jim kirk

word count (all together): 5072

summary: jim kirk x reader  the types of kisses in a relationship.

author’s note: based on this post. these aren’t in any order of a relationship or anything. also, there are a few cuss words.. (sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes) enjoy! :)

Keep reading

Vampire King

Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Filth
Rating: Mature
Written by xoxoTheQueenOfHearts
Wrote for my Unnies


The knife came away from your neck and a singular dark figure you couldn’t make out was sheathing a blade. Then suddenly, the lights went out.

You woke with a start sitting bolt upright and breathing heavy. You were confused by your surroundings. You were in a bed, in a room that had only a closet, a dresser, and a singular large window which moonlight poured into.

“Sleep well?” Cooed a mans voice.

You spun to face him while jumping away from the voice kicking the blankets off of yourself. The man sat crossed legged in a ornate chair with a slight smile dancing on his lips. He dark hair and eyes with a strong jaw that rested just above a black mask he had pulled down around his neck.
“Who are you?” You asked quickly feeling a sudden sense of urgency to escape.

Something about him felt strange, unnatural, and it scared you. The man stood up straightening his collar and removing the mask. “My name is Jimin, and this is my temple,” he said with a smile. “What is your name darling?”

You eyed him suspiciously before answering his question with a question. “You said it’s YOUR temple?”

He frowned slightly before smiling again. “Yes it is my temple, you see I am a god.”

You furrowed your brow thinking about this. Of course you knew there were gods who walked among men, you just never thought you would be in the presence of one.

“You’re a GOD?” you looked him up and down examining him and realizing that he was casually getting closer to you so you took a step back. “A god of what?”

At this he smiled more but didn’t answer. “I’m also a king.”

You started to grow uneasy as he was getting closer and you were backing away. “A king of what?” You said quickly as your back hit the wall.

He shook his head as he stopped right in front of you gently taking your hands in his.
“First,” he said. “Before I tell you those things I would like to know your name little lady.”

You shivered slightly wishing you could get away, melt into the wall, or something. “Okay fine. My name is Y/N.” You said taking a breath.

His lips curled into a smile and he brought your hands to his lips and gently kissed them. “Nice to meet you Y/N.” he said.

You immediately pulled your hands away and tucked them behind your back straightening up your posture and puffing up your chest to try and look confident and unintimidated by him, even though he was at least six inches taller than you. “I answered your question now answer mine.”

He chuckled at you trying to be brave. “You’re a feisty one aren’t you.” He curled his lips into a toothy grin to show two sharp fangs amongst his regular teeth. “I’m the King of vampires…darling.”

You barely dared to breath but tried to remain calm. “So…what are you the god of?” At this point you weren’t sure id you wanted to know but still you asked.

Instead of answering though, he laughed and got closer pressing himself against you and whispering into your ear ever so softly with his hands holding your waist. “I don’t think you’re ready to know yet.”
He then stepped away just as you were trying to push him away.

He looked slightly confused that you rejected him. Him being that close like that had rattled you. Half scared and admittedly half thrilled by his actions you shuddered and crossed your arms scowling. “What do you mean you don’t think I’m ready to know yet?”

“It’s nothing.” He said blankly eyeing you in a strange manner. Like something wasn’t right with you. “You’re still covered in blood, there’s a change of clothes for you in the closet.” He spoke softly, his strange sense of confidence suddenly having evaporated. He turned away from you and walked across the room pulling open the door and exiting the room. Leaving you, dumbfounded, to yourself.

You left the room shortly after you had changed. There was no way to escape the temple from that room due to the fact it was about five stories up and the walls were slick with rain.
Besides it was still dark and the woods were dangerous at night.

You walked through the halls alone examining the lavish temple. Your new clothes, a simple white and flowing shirt and dark jeans felt nice and you were sure you’d never worn something so expensive.

“How in the hell do I get out of here?” You muttered to yourself quietly.

Suddenly a voice sounded behind you with equal quietness. “Why do you want to leave so badly?”

You cringed and stopped walking slowly turning to face Jimin who looked at you with curiosity.

“B-because,” You stammered. “Why would I stay here?”

“Why wouldn’t you? Where else do you have to go?” He asked you. You thought about his words. He had a good point.

You were wanted in seven different states and two or more countries for thievery. You were low. You were nothing and had nowhere to go. And he knew it.

He cautiously took your hand and smiled at you. “I wouldn’t mind the company, it’s lonely here with just the monks and I.”

You looked up at him and frowned. “I’ll stay…for the night. Just one night, while I make up my mind.” You said.

At this he smiled, a genuine smile, and squeezed your hand lightly. “As you wish Y/N.”

After giving you a full tour of the temple, Jimin insisted you let him make dinner for you and since you were feeling rather hungry, didn’t refuse.

You sat up on the table looking around while Jimin prepared chicken of some sort. The clock on the wall told you it was midnight and you yawned stretching your arms.
“Don’t you get tired?” You asked brushing hair away from your face.

He barely glanced over at you and shrugged. “No, I don’t get tired, I don’t sleep.”

You said nothing more and merely watched him cook. He had changed his clothes, he was now wearing a plain black tank top that showed off his muscular arms and what looked to you like they could have been yoga pants or something. It was a far less intimidating outfit then his previous dark leather clothing that he had been originally wearing.
He noticed you staring and looked back at you holding your gaze.

You realized you had been staring and quickly looked away pretending to be very intrigued by the table you were sitting on.

You heard him chuckle before saying, “How are your injuries?”
You absentmindedly reached up and touched your neck where it had been cut to feel that the blood had dried and hardened into a protective layer.

“Um, it’s fine. I forgot about it honestly.” You said with a shrug.

He put down the cooking utensil he had been using and strode over to you. You eyes him wearily unable to tell if his actions were threatening. He gave a reassuring smile and gently lifted your chin upwards with one finger to look at the cut. “I tried to heal you…with magic I mean but for some reason, it didn’t work.” He brought his hand away from your face and looked at you with his eyes full of curiosity.

You were unable to meet his gaze and stared off at a distant spot on the table and merely shrugged.

“Why couldn’t I heal you?” He asked as he gently traced a finger along the side of your face.

“I dunno.” You muttered and tilted your head away from the touch of his hand.

He merely looked thoughtful as he took a last long gaze at you and then he turned and went back to cooking.

You entered the room Jimin originally had you in about a quarter past one in the morning after eating a good meal in which Jimin merely watched you the entire time. It was weird.

Yawning and unable to keep your eyes open, you collapsed onto the bed looking up at the ceiling. The world seemed to spin and you fell into sleep…

You woke with a start laying flat on your back looking up towards the ceiling, no blankets to cover you. Your thoughts were cut off by a loud howling sound from outside the window. You looked over, faint light flooded through the curtains and you felt very cold.

You swung your feet off the bed and walked over to the window pulling open the curtains to see a horrendous snow storm raged outside and your heart sunk. No way could you leave and go out into that.

And yet…a part of you was glad and you weren’t sure why.

You made your way down the halls shivering as the winds howled outside. You felt alone and cold as your bare feet padded down the hall, you started to worry.

What if Jimin had left? Your worries were soon put to rest when you stumbled upon a door that light poured out from underneath. You sighed with relief and put your hand on the door, hesitating before pushing it open.

When the door was open it felt like summer had suddenly washed over you. You were now standing in a beautifully lit and comfortably warm bathhouse.
A couple monks wandered about moving towels and such.
You approached one cautiously shutting the door behind you.
“Ummmm, excuse me have you seen Jimin?”

The monk nodded and pointed to a stall looking thing which a curtain was drawn across.
“Thanks.” You said politely and made your way over.

You weren’t sure why you were looking for him really. I guess you just didn’t want to be alone.
You took a breath pushing the curtain aside and stepping inside.

“Jim…oh.” You started to say his name then stopped as you took in the sight before you.

There was an elegantly designed hot tub built into the floor and Jimin stood beside it with only a towel around his waist.

“Very sorry I didn’t mean too barge in like this I’ll just uh…” You had quickly turned your head away towards the wall as your face flushed and turned red.

Jimin was caught off gaurd slightly but he chuckled. “It’s quite alright Y/N.” And with that he turned back to the tub and let his towel fall as he stepped into it. “Feel free to join me if you want.”

You stared at the ceiling intently fumbling for words. “No that’s, um, I mean…I don’t want to disturb…”

He cut you off holding up his hand. “You’re not disturbing me, I’d be glad for the company. So long as your not uncomfortable.”

You glanced over at him for a second. His back was facing you and he was completely submerged in the water other than his chest and rest of his upper body. “I’m not uncomfortable.” You said uncertainly as your face beet red. Fortunately he couldn’t see that.

“Well then please by all means.” He said motioning to the water.

Grumbling to yourself, you pulled off your shirt and jeans leaving you in your bra and underwear then you cautiously walked to the tubs edge.

He turned his head to look at you. You could see he was eyeing you the way a predator might eye its prey.

You tried not to look at him and dived into the water submerging yourself to hide your body.

When you popped your head back up to the surface he was no longer looking at you but instead, he had his eyes closed and head tilted back enjoying the water.

You stayed where you were and gazed for a long time at him until you realized you were once again staring so you looked away swimming to the edge of the hot tub where there was a seat built into it.

The both of you sat there in silence for a long while before he spoke.“ Why are you so weary of me?” He asked softly and opened his eyes again to look at you. “You don’t have to be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you, you know.”

You looked over at him meeting his gaze. As your eyes met you felt something stir inside you. An odd fluttery feeling that you hadn’t really felt before. It made you blush and you looked away embarrassed and muttering. “I’m not afraid of you Jimin.”

“Even though I’m a god? And vampire?” He questioned you.

You hesitated, it was odd to think of him as someone as powerful as he obviously was. Odd to think that someone as powerful as he was would be in your presence. “You know…” You said finally. “You never told me what you were a god of.”

Now it was his turn to hesitate his brow furrowed in thought. “Well you see I’m the god of love and pleasure.” He looked up at you to see your reaction as if he was uncertain.

You really were not all that surprised, being the way he acted and spoke. If he were a god of anything else then you would have been surprised. “Interesting.” You said simply.

He tilted his head turning his gaze away from you again. “You’re very different…I don’t understand. Usually I can…” He stopped and pursed his lips.

“Usually you can what?” You asked relaxing a little. It felt more casual now. Now that he seemed uncertain.

“Usually it’s easy to…well seduce women, with the use of magical persuasion and to be honest I have tried it countless times on you but nothing.” He said with a sigh glancing at you apologetically.

You were a little taken aback at the statement but you just sighed as well sinking deeper into the water so only your head poked above the water. “I’m immune to magic…any form of it.” I said with a sad tone.

“I’m listening.” He said folding his arms over his chest.

You looked over at him then gave a shrug. “I was sold me into slavery when I was five, after my parents died. I was bought at an auction by the master of the Blood Clan temple because my blood is very valuable and has many different properties. So he kept me to drain me…to sell my blood.” A singular tear fell and you wiped it away quickly. “But I escaped.”

Jimin regarded you with a serious but also gentle gaze. “You’re safe with me.” He said. “If you’ll choose to stay.”

You nodded slowly keeping your gaze on the water. He smiled and before you knew it he was by your side and wrapping his arms around your middle. Your whole face turned red as you remembered he was completely naked and you yourself was only in your underwear and bra.
“Um…Jimin, what are you doing?” You asked.

“Comforting you.” He replied with an almost childlike giggle as he pulled you closer so your body was pressed against his, his head resting atop yours.

“But Jimin you’re…” You tried to say.

“I’m what? Naked? You don’t need to be shy with me Y/N.” he stated.

Your face turned redder at the statement, it felt like you might burn up. “Yes but…”

Jimin cut you off pulling away slightly and putting a finger to your lips saying softly, “Shh, no words my darling.”

You looked up at him dumbfounded and feeling smaller and more embarrassed then you ever had in your life. So you just nodded. Then he leaned in close cupping your face and bringing his lips to yours pulling you into a deep kiss.

But eventually the kiss did end and he let go of your face pulling back away from you and sliding his hands back down around your waist.
“Come to my room with me.” He whispered to you sliding his hands down further to cup your rear.

At this you shivered. Happy little shivers that crept down your spine and moved all through you. I nodded slowly holding his gaze fighting the urge to bite my lip.

As soon as I nodded he lifted you up by your rear and instinctively you wrapped your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. You could feel his growing erection pressing against your crotch which caused more pleasant shivers through you.

He let out a playful growl and began planting little kisses all on your neck and chest as the world blurred around you and suddenly you were with Jimin in a large and astonishingly beautiful room.

“What?” You looked around confused and Jimin laughed.

“Sorry, had to use teleportation. Didn’t want to wait anymore.” Jimin said then as he licked up your neck long and slow all the way to your lips which he then traced with his tongue.

“Oh, I see.” You giggled as he licked on your lips.

He took the opportunity while you were talking to gently slip his tongue into your mouth kissing you deeply. You held onto him tightly gripping the back of his head not wanting it to end. You felt his lips curl into a smile right before he pulled his face away from yours and tossed you gently back onto the bed while he stood at the foot of it.

You lay there as more pleasurable chills shot through you. He studied you for a while tilting his head then grinned at you mischievously snapping his fingers. When he did, your underwear and bra vanished and suddenly you were completely naked before him.

“Oh god.” He groaned licking his lips.

You blushed heavily. To be studied in such a manner as he was studying you as you lay there was beyond thrilling and you were at this point very very aroused. “I bet you’ve never sucked a gods dick before.” He said with a coy smile.

“N-no.” You stammered glancing at his now fully erect penis but trying not to stare.

“Well…you can if you want to.” He said almost shyly, still looking intently at you. Taking in every detail.

You nodded and sat yourself up scooting to the edge of the bed in front of him. His penis was right in front of you and you having never done this before, wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

You looked upwards at him and bit your lip. “I’ve never done this before…” You said worried how he might respond.

“Hmm, it’s okay you just keep looking right at me and put that dick in your mouth.” He said looking at you with a desperate hunger in his eyes.

You nodded again and did as he said, looking at him the whole time, you wrapped your lips around the head and took him into your mouth little by little till you couldn’t take anymore.

At the first touch of your mouth around his dick he let out a little moan seemingly great fun for the touch of your lips. It wasn’t long before you started sucking and licking up and down his shaft like a pro. Teasing and pleasuring him.

“I bet you’re so wet.” He groaned grabbing the back of your head and pushing more of his dick into your mouth.

All you could do was groan a response, your mouth was so full of his dick. He let go of the back of your head and you slid your mouth off of him.

“Get on all fours.” He said, almost demanding but with a hint of pleading. “I need you right now.”

“Yes Jimin.” You said and bit your lip rolling over and getting on all fours.

He crawled up onto the bed behind you and without warning smacked your ass hard causing you to Yelp a little and then giggle.

“I know you want it.” He said with a growl grabbing you by your hips and positioning his dick at the entrance to your soaking wet pussy.

You nodded vigorously still biting on your lip. “Yes I do want it so badly.”

“Well here you go.” He grabbed your hips right pulling you back towards him at the same time he thrusted forward causing him to slam into you hard.

You let out a small cry as the force broke your hymen.

“Oh my god you’re tight.” He groaned starting to move in and out of you slowly.

It was a little painful at first but grew to be less as he moved in and out of you in a steady rhythm. He licked slowly up your back starting to pick up the pace. Your wetness dripped down your thighs coating his dick while he groaned.
Your small cries and whines soon turned to moans of pleasure while he fucked you.

You could feel him going deeper inside you with every stroke and he started going harder. And harder. Till he was pounding into you so hard it made your breasts bounce underneath you and You were moaning louder, begging for him to make you cum.

A couple times he smacked your ass while he fucked you. Making sure to go hard and deep inside you.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum.” He groaned and you felt his grip tighten on your sides.

“Oh god yes Jimin, cum inside me.” You half moaned half panted.

He reached down and put his hand to your clit rubbing it hard. The action sent you over the edge, sending an electric butterfly through you causing you to cry out as a wave of immense pleasure shot through you and making your hips buck and even more hot wetness drip down your thighs.

Jimin groaned, your orgasm triggering his own and suddenly you felt his hot warm cum fill you up, mixing with your own. He slowed his thrusts to a stop. Shooting every last bit of cum he had to offer deep inside of you.

“Oh my god that was amazing.” You moaned now feeling ready to collapse.

Jimin giggled a little slowly sliding out of you.
“You got so wet.” He said stroking your thighs his dick still erect. “Lay down on your back so I can clean you up.”

“Mmhm.” You moaned and happily obliged, rolling onto your back and spreading out your legs.

He immediately put his head between your legs and started licking and sucking up his and your cum combined in your pussy.

You giggled, every lick sending waves of pleasure through you. He soon finished, licking up every last bit, and slid upwards laying atop you and stroking your breasts looking at you earnestly before kissing your neck and whispering in your ear, “Will you do me the honor of becoming my queen?”

A smile crept to your face and you whispered back softly. “Yes, I will be your queen.”

anonymous asked:

hamburr “i thought you loved me. i guess i was wrong.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Alexander’s voice comes across as a plea, broken and weak, and Aaron knows that if he looks up, he’ll see Alexander’s face wet with tears. But he doesn’t look up. He stares at a stain on the carpet instead.

It’s over a year old, that stain. But the memory of it is fresh in Aaron’s mind.

Alexander had been the one to cause it. A bad result from a good thing. Or what Aaron had thought was a good thing at the time. The memory comes rushing back, vivid and real;

Sneaking up behind Alexander in the morning, wrapping his arms around Alexander and pressing a kiss to his neck, murmuring the words ‘move in with me’, making Alexander jerk in surprise, making his hand holding a full mug fumble, coffee spilling and hitting the carpet with a wet noise, but then there was laugher, smiling, kissing. Aaron remembers how light he had felt that day, how right.

It was a good memory.

They’d left the stain, forgotten about it, really. Then it just became a sort of joke, a reminder of how excited they’d both been to take on such a leap, such a commitment. 


Aaron snorts, he can’t help it. He looks up, finally, his eyes roaming over Alexander’s tear stained face, dismissing the pain he sees there. His own face is dry, his jaw clenched, mouth stiff. He stands.

“Aaron,” Alexander says, reaching out for him, but Aaron steps around him. “Aaron, please, wait.”


Aaron pauses at that, lips twitching. The word is strange coming from Alexander’s mouth. Unnatural. Almost funny. Alexander never waits. Aaron is always the one saying that word, calling it out when Alexander is leaving for work before grabbing his lunch. Or, more recently, calling it out when Alexander is dashing out the door most evenings, making some rushed excuse about something he has to do before leaving Aaron alone.

But Aaron was always the one who waited. Never Alexander.

Aaron supposes that Alexander never lied, not exactly. Those nights he left he did have something to do. That something just ended up being another person.

He doesn’t know how long it had been going on. He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t care. It happened. That’s it. That’s all it takes for everything to come crashing down. 

“Aaron,” Alexander calls again, wrapping shaking fingers around Aaron’s wrist. “Please talk to me. We can talk this out. Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

Aaron doesn’t look at Alexander, just stares down at that stain again, thinking about how ugly it seems now. He’s overwhelmed by the sudden need to get down close to it, to scrub at the carpet until the stain is gone, no trace of it left. He wants to wipe it out.


“I’m thinking,” Aaron starts slowly, proud at how even his voice comes out, “that…” He trails off then, faltering a little when he looks at Alexander. “I thought you loved me.” He steps out of Alexander’s grip, arm falling limply at his own side. “I guess I was wrong.”

Alexander gives him a pained look, mouth opening and closing, his eyes red. But he says nothing, and Aaron feels the strange urge to laugh. The amount of times he’s wondered what it would take to stop the never-ending flow of Alexander’s thoughts, what it would take to stump him.

Now he knows.

Aaron goes over to the door, seeing Alexander’s key hanging next to it. He takes it, the metal of the key cold against his skin. He stares down at it, running his thumb over the surface, thinking. His eyes go back to the stain.

Wipe it out. 

Aaron goes back, takes Alexander’s hand, flips it so the palm is facing up. He presses the key into it and then lets go. They both stand there, silent, and Aaron wonders if he should say something. There are certainly a number of things he could say, but none of them are worth it, none of them are good enough for what he wants to express. 

So Aaron steps aside, gestures at the door, and waits.

Alexander stares at the key, then up at him, but still, he says nothing. Then he’s moving, walking past Aaron and opening the door. Aaron doesn’t look, just stays facing the other way. Then the door is closing, shutting with a soft click.

Aaron stands there alone, collecting himself, collecting all of the memories and tucking them away into a part of his mind where he can ignore them for a while, where he can forget about them until he’s ready to sort through each one, picking out what was real and what was a lie. But that will come later.

He needs to buy a new carpet first. 

I’m Not A Spy

Author: Zoe

(A/N: I’ve always wanted to try my hand at this sort of AU!)

Soulmate AU: Kylo Ren x Reader

Plot Summary: You are a rouge hacker who tried to get into one of the First Order’s information outposts, yet unfortunately captured and taken to the Finalizer to face up to Kylo Ren. All you wanted to do was to find out whether or not your planet was on the list so you could evacuate if you needed to, but now you were here, wrists binded to a metal chair, feeling a strange, unnatural pull to him. ‘Is it the Force, or just your imagination?’ you wonder.

Originally posted by ren-rey-lo

“God damn it.” You sighed to yourself.

All you wanted was to make sure you wouldn’t be blown up by the First Order, and now here you are. A suspect of the Resistance, you heard one of the officials call you.

You sat in the secluded room, a cold metal chair binding your wrists to the armrests, looking around the dark, bare room, drumming your fingers.

To be perfectly honest, you couldn’t care less about the Resistance and First Order shebang. Just get in, see if your planet was going to explode or not, then just focus on staying alive.

You never were a person who sided with the Light or the Dark. You would walk along the line between Light and Dark, just dealing with what happens as it goes.

Your train of thought was quickly disrupted by the harsh scraping of metal as the door slid open.

Looking up, you were face-to-mask with the infamous ‘Kylo Ren’.

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Epitome of Eighteen Histories 18: Kinomiya Kazane Episode

This is my translation for the last episode in the Epitome of Eighteen Histories extras! It was a lot of fun working on this, especially since Kinomiya Kazane is a really special character to me. 

I translated this from a Chinese translation, which translated it from the original Japanese, so um, translation-ception? ;w; 

Feel free to point out mistakes I may have made! (there are probably many)

Thanks you @candleoreo for proofreading owo

I hope you enjoy! 

Translation under the cut 

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damn… they killed clockie before they could finish. 

(honestly though, this is a good summary of why i’m again hoping for rose diamond theory! this is  what i wanted to talk to you about after these eps aired. “rose shattered pink” was always too easy - the “tell don’t show” presentation of events is also (part of) why “yellow shattered pink” is out of the question for me… i guess my only question would be, so you think the earth quartzes know? i feel it would make sense for them to, if not holly blue, at least respect pink diamond’s wish of bubbling the remaining roses, regardless of whether they knew about rose diamond. and a small pet theory of mine is that while amethyst and the others certainly don’t seem to be loyal to homeworld, the ‘famethyst’ at least don’t know she’s a crystal gem, the reason their life on earth was ruined… still, they at least make sense in the fact that they’ve built a community at the zoo, which i’m guessing jasper didn’t exactly come fresh from) 

Thanks for catching that, I went back and edited.

My thoughts about the rose bubbles- well, another thing odd about them is they’re all like Amethyst’s gem, blunt on both sides, while we have that official t-shirt from Crewniverse confirming Rose’s gem comes to a point on its other side, meaning it’s a form of brilliant cut… the archetypal diamond cut.

Since all the Rose Quartz are in pink bubbles, and Secret Team made a point that you can tell who made a bubble by its color- so they needed Steven (a rose quartz himself) to replace Rose’s bubble because only rose quartz Gems could create rose quartz bubbles. This would even suggest you couldn’t just get another pink Gem, like Rhodonite, to make a convincingly pink bubble- it’d be a rhodonite bubble not a rose quartz bubble.

Which means… nobody’s checked the contents of those bubbles since Pink Diamond’s ‘death’. If I’m correct in that Pink and Rose are the same person, Rose is very inclined to secrecy.

Basically: I think the lack of outrage over the Rose Quartz Gems isn’t that they know, it’s that no one ever had experience with a Rose Quartz Gem outside of ours.

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Jumping to her Defence / Cheryl Blossom

Words: 1458

There was no doubt that the party had got completely out of hand. 

While you were hesitant at the idea of the get together in the first place, you stayed quiet in order to keep your friends happy. The moment you saw Jughead’s reaction when he and his girlfriend arrived, you knew you probably should have spoken up in the beginning. However, at the same time, you knew Betty and Archie really wanted to do this for Juggie and their plans would have gone ahead. With our without your support. 

The moment the doorbell rang later in the night, you felt your stomach drop. Finding Cheryl and Chuck, as well as what seemed like the entire school population, standing outside of Archie’s house…well you weren’t expecting that. And you knew something would inevitably go down. 

Your friend Betty just wanted Jughead to celebrate his birthday, have a night with his friends. But then Cheryl turned up. 

Cheryl Blossom. Her name had always rolled off your tongue with ease.

She was a handful to say the least. A disaster. A mess. But a force to be reckoned with.  

You couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Not only because of what had happened to Jason in the weeks earlier, but because you saw how unhappy she always was. Around her family, around her so called friends…you had never seen someone who was always surrounded by people yet so utterly alone.

Nevertheless, despite the surprising change in pace for the night-you let your hair down for once and decided to have some fun. 

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It’s Okay Now~One-shot (Remus Lupin)

A/N: I was working on this and I looked at the time and it was like 3 am so I made myself go to sleep because I didn’t want to get to tired and write something bad lol

Request: @sometimesicryintheshower:  Okay so since you’re taking requests, would you write about the reader being Remus’ girlfriend, but having a SUPER rough at home life, like she’s muggle-born and her family hates her, so she gets a letter one day saying she can’t come home, and Remus finds her crying her eyes out and tells her to come home with him?

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x reader

Word Count: 2501

Warnings: Swearing, yelling, ROUGH home life, fluff


Originally posted by nellaey

It was definitely no secret that my family was far less than proud when I had been accepted into Hogwarts. They were old fashioned and felt that my “special gift” would stain their image. Much to their dismay, I had been thrilled when my letter arrived. As I learned more about the wizarding world, I found that a lot of work was put into keeping it all a secret. I tried to explain it to my parents, but it didn’t change their new attitude towards me. Reluctantly, they let me attend the school.

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