I want to ship nessian but I just feel like cassian deserves better
OK. ok. i can do this.
I AM GOING TO DO A LONG, LONG POST BC IT’S NOT THE FIRST TIME I SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND ANON U ARE GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT THIS and yes i will try to make u ship them with all my might tell me if I succeed.
NESTA ARCHERON, my bby, love of my life, reason why i wanted to read acomaf, queen of my heart. In acotar, in the beginning she’s cold and distant, seeming like a proper bitch in some ppls eyes(not mine, I loved her for it but i have a soft spot for this characters). And then feyre is taken by our local masked fuckboy, and what does nesta do?
NESTA HAULS UP HER ASS, GOES TO A MERCENARY, PAYS HER AND GOES TO THE FREAKING WALL TO TAKE HER SISTER BACK, JUST AFTER SHE WAS NEARLY RAPED. Now, i know u are probably bugged for the fact that she didn’t help feyre and that she sometimes used feyres money for frivolous things, but Nesta WANTED TO STARVE, SHE WANTED TO STARVE JUST TO SEE IF THEIR FATHER WOULD DO SOMETHING.
Now, I think that we forget a lil thing: Nesta basically watched her mother die, she watched as her father didn’t move a finger, even if he could, and she was just a child, and from her character, i bet she didnt say a thing to elain or feyre(and feyre confirms it in acotar, when she says she didn’t know who said the truth, if nesta or their father and thats bc feyre didn’t live that thing, her mother dying, not like nesta did, and damn it, that can and will thraumatize a child.) EVEN AFTER FEYRE COMES BACK, SHE STILL DOESN’T SAY A THING ABOUT TOMAS, SHE DOESNT GO TO FAYRE LIKE “I TRIED TO RESCURE YOU LOVE ME” she just say “it wasn’t right”, she listens to feyre, to all of it and doesn’t even try to tell her about tomas AND A YEAR LATER SHE’S STILL SCARED OF WHAT HE TRIED TO DO TO HER.
And even than, when they got all their fortune back via spring blonde dickhead, she’s angry(and feyre uses her to hide from all the ppl bc nesta can and will scare ppl) and why? bc she lived the downfall of their family in ways feyre cant understand: NESTA LIVED HER CHILDHOOD IN RICHES, SHE WAS PROBABLY EDUCATED TO BE A PROPER LADY, SHE WAS MAYBE GIVEN THE EDUCATION OF AN UPPERCLASS LADY(which may have something to do with the way she is) AND THEN HER MOTHER DIES WHILE HER FATHER WATCHES(and pls dont make me think of baby nesta crying at her father to do something because “mommy is sick” bc i will legit cry my eyes out). Nesta oesn’t hate her father bc they become poor, Nesta hates her father bc he let her mother die and Nesta, contrary to his father, acts(maybe even a bit too much, but we will see this later).
She says to feyre, in acomaf, to not come back to the human world, to stay with the fae(who she hates) if that is what makes her happy.(DO WE WANT TO TALK OF THE FACT THAT SHE WANTED TO TAKE A BOAT AND SEE THE WORLD, TO SEE WHAT A WOMAN COULD DO AND SHE GOT STUFFED IN THAT FUCKING TUB STRAIGHT FROM THE FEIRY PITS OF HELL???i am feeling, lots. my bby only wanted to be free)
ACOMAF!which yes now enters the perfect bby bat.
Cassian, my bby, my bat, my sun and stars.
I ALREADY DID A ASSLONG RANT ON HIM AND WHY HE IS PERFECT, BUT LET’S SEE HIM WITH NESTA Y’ALL.
They meet after feyra darling made the hella dumb decision of take the mortal whiny ass traitors queens to their house AND PLS PPL DO REMEMBER THAT NESTA ALLOWS FEYRE TO DO SO, BC IF NESTA SAID NO I DOUBT ELAIN WOULD HAVE INSISTED, SO NESTA IS PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINE TO HELP FEYRE AND THE FAE(OF WHOM SHE IS STILL CARED SHITLESS OF and like it doesnt go easily, she finds herself with an high lor, a fae sister, asmol polite bat and a cocky(her future husband) bat; the first thing he tries to do(after looking at her for a solid half hour or whatever) is try to roast her for hher treatment of feyre: result? none on the outside, a shit ton on the inside.(then they bicker like an old couple on their tea be still my heart). He cares for feyre, and sees nesta as the cold older sister who didn’t do a thing to help feyre when she needed(again, see teen nesta full of hate and rage and loss) and the fact THAT SHE JUST STRAGIHT UP IGNORES HIM MAKES HIM FURIOUS AND DELIGHTS ME ENDLESSLY.
AND THERE’S THE LIL SMACKDOWN BETWEEN NESTA AND THE QUEEN I LOVE HER SO MUCH “it is the choice of cowards” YEAH U GO NESTA LIL BALL OF FURY
so in order: THE EXTRA(i dont even ahve to look it up bc i know that shit better than the bible) AND WE KNOW OUR BAT BOY IS IN DEEP, COULDN’T KEEP HER FACE OUT OF HIS MIND ah god i love this horny teeange bat so much he tries to rile her up, and we know from this that nesta doesn’t know who she want to be or what she likes “and what do you do of importance?” nesta was so engulfed with hate that at one point it become all she had, the hate and protecting elain, and now that elain was about to marry(and now she will have my smol ginger son, so things didn’t change all that much) and didn’t need her and she decided to make peace with feyre, she had neither and i think it scared her shitless.
Nesta is attracted to him, but on the other hand, Cassian terrifies her andWEEL, WELP AND FUCK, FOR SOMEONE WHO HAD TWO MAN IN HER LIFE, ONE LET HIS WIFE AND MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN DIE AND THE OTHER TRIED TO RAPE HER, I THINK IT;S KINDA NORMAL IS IT NOTrethoricalquestion.
She is scared of him bc he sees her, he sses her where no one else can, and we know how his words the first time they sa each had hit a nerve, they landed right home and nesta is scared of him and wants to hurt him bc of it, so that he wont tell to ppl that she is weak, bc being weak is something that nesta cant afford to be BUT EVEN THEN, SHE BARES HER THROAT TO HIM , WHICH IS, BY FAE STANDARD AND ACT OF SUBMISSION AND TRUST ad ofc the bat dives the fuck in, bc cassian is cassian and she lets’ him until she can’t, when he swipes his tongue on her neck, which is a very, very sexual gesture that surprised her, but mostly i think she was scared by herself, bc she let herself go for maybe the first time in her life(she is a very mental, calculating character”be nice”, she thinks of every move she will make, but he can make her be irrational and it terrifies her).
Now, the knee in the balls moment: i said this time and again, it was a dick move, but why? what does cassian say? “all i see is a bored and spolied girl”, it’s the truth, in his eyes, bc he doesn’t know her and it infuriates her, bc it hurts her. Nesta is a 22 y/o young woman who doesnt know what to do with herself, doesnt know how to show emotions that aren’t hate, even if she feels tham so strongly she’s chonking on them.(like think of nesta watching feyre painting and elain with her gardens and feeling envious and lonely bc she would want something like that too, something to sooth her and help her but she doesn’t have it, all she has is her fire that is burning her insides). So she’s furious, she would do anything to make Cassian shut up, bc he is saying some thigs that she may think of herself(and he only wanted to kiss her, poor bby bat). What does she say after? “you know nothing of who i am and what i’ve done and what i want.” i see it as a U DONT KNOW ME, STOP READING ME, STOP SEEING RIGHT THROUGH ME, U DONT KNOW ME. Cassian scares her bc he makes her feel vulnerable, and after a whole life of caging herself in order to protect herself, a man who u are scared of(fae, soldier, army commander, huge as shit and with bat wings), who u are attracted to (and maybe nesta is experiencing that kind of attraction for the first time, hello confusion my old friend). He goes back FEELING HER EYES ON HIMSELF ALL THE WAY TO FUCKING VELARIS boy my bat u are gone and delivered.
and the tiny cassian talking with feyre about nesta on the bridge after the theatre oh god and king of HYBERN I DIDNT FORGOT THAT U COCKBLOCKED THE SETTING UP OF MY OTP I DIDNT FORGOT AND I DIDNT FORGET
THE SECOND MORTAL WHINY FUCKERS QUEENS MOMENT and i have to say it, i fangirled. i fangirled HARD.
She blasts the queens, she goes up and tells them to make the good choice, to save the ppl SHE BEGS THEM , SHE CRIES. That’s when cassian sees that she isnt a bored and spoiled girl, bc fot all nesta know the queens could punish her for it, nestas just a mortal girl, a defenseless mortal girl, but she speaks, she gets up, she acts(contrary to her father) and cassian sees it, he sees her.(tey both would die for the ppl they love)
Hybern, IN WHICH AFTER NESTA RAN TO ELAIN RIGHT AFTER SHE DIES, NO FUCKING ONE WAS THEREFOR NESTA RIGHT AFTER SHE FUCKING DROWNED AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTED TO BE THERE FOR HER, THAT BEING CASSIAN, WAS BLEEDING ON THE MOTHERFUCKING FLOOR.
They need each other and, in my opinion they deserve each other(and ppl i love the bat, the miSTER I WRECKED ONE BUILDING BAT, THE DOING SHITTY DECISIONS BC HE HAS A TEMPER THE SIDE OF PRYTHIAN AND JEALOUS AS ALL FUCK LIL BAT. he has his dark sides, his faults and i love him all the more for them, but he isn’t a little unaware naive flower)
Cassian can teach Nesta that being vulnerable isnt an horrible thing, that she can let ppl in, she can let her walls down, she will not die, he will be there(and daaamn i am waiting for nesta to be vulnerable in fron of cassian so bad), and nesta can teach Cassian to think before he acts, to not think so low of himself, bc she loves him(and nesta is a force of nature on the regular, but nesta in love will be fucking awesome).
AND I AM DONE