Steve: One bonus of being an older adult is grossly misusing slang on purpose and watching the rest of the team cry inside.
Steve: A fine example: the other day I pointed at a lovely bird that flew by the window and, while looking Peter right in the eye, went “Man was that bae or what, huh?” And the look on his face was something I will treasure for years.
Idk why some of y'all depict Steven Grant Rogers as some blushing virgin purity boy when he grew up in fucking Brooklyn and got into fights w random strangers when he weighed like 120 pounds and let the gov experiment on him so he could go to war and Fight like…
Steve is def awesome, a great person, super cool, better morals than the actual US, but he’s also the fuckwit that let 2 mad scientists lock him in a metal coffin and pump his blood w Super Serum when he’d seen one of the scientists experiment fuck up. Like Idk who tf u guys r tryna to fool w this bambi innonce act
Summary: Bucky comes home drunk and you don’t know what to expect.
Pairing: Buckaroo x Reader, a little bit of Steve x Nat
Warnings: Fluffy goodness, Natasha pmsing is the funniest
A/N: I imagine Bucky doing those things in the gifs when he’s drunk bye
“Nat, you’re a floor under me. Can’t you just come up here?”
You and Natasha were talking on the phone. She called you because she wanted to rant to you about how annoying the newest recruit, Scott is and knowing the Russian spy, she could talk forever.
“I’m too lazy, (Y/N). But anyways, I don’t know why Steve decided to recruit him. I mean I just want to - ugh. Kick his ass. He isn’t even based in New York!” She said though the speaker phone. You laughed at her irritated tone.
“Give him a week or so. He’ll calm down. Plus, wouldn’t you be excited if you were recruited by the Avengers?” You asked, adjusting your place on your apartment’s balcony. You stared down at the view of people who were walking on the streets, occasionally giving them smiles. It was your thing to just relax on the balcony and admire the view from the tower, listening to alternative music through your quiet speakers Tony installed.
“I’d be thrilled.” She laughed. “Hey, do you know when the guys will be back? I need to ask Steve about something.”
“No.” You replied. “They left around 6 so they should be back soon.” You said. You listened to her blabber on about how she was going to confess her feelings towards Steve, which you thought was cute since she’d talk about him 24/7. Listening to her, you swayed your hips to Weaves’s cover of The Beatles song, Help.
Your boyfriend Bucky went out to celebrate with Sam, Tony and Steve. Celebrating another very successful mission, they decided to go to a bar, suggested by Tony, of course. It was 12 am now, but you weren’t tired. You’d wait for Bucky anyways since you knew he would be the sober one and would want to cuddle with you. It was the best part you loved when he got back from nights like this.
“But yeah…Hey have you heard about this ice cream shop near midtown? It’s called Amarino’s and I heard it’s really good.” She said, changing the subject.
You laughed. “Are you really this nervous or are you just pmsing?” You asked.
“A terrible mixture of both.” You heard a loud groan through the speaker. You pictured her rolling on her back on the bed, which made you laugh even more.
“Those cramps kicking your ass?”
“Yup. You’d think that being a trained spy - nothing else would hurt.” She groaned. “Well god just fucking hates me right now!” She yelled.
“You know, taking a bath really helps-“
The door to your apartment opened rather harshly. Turning your back with your phone in hand, you looked through the glass door and saw your boyfriend stumble in.
“What was that?” Natasha asked through the other line.
“Nat, I’m gonna call you back.” You said slowly.
“What? (Y/N), wait - Don’t leave me here like thi-“ She said, but you hung up. Opening the glass screen door to go inside your quarters, you shut the door behind you and saw your boyfriend looking through your bedside drawers. You heard him giggle while he was rummaging through as you watched him in amusement.
He was drunk.
“Buck, are you alright?” You laughed, walking towards him. He pulled out the picture stack you kept in your top drawer, holding a picture of the two of you when you first visited Brooklyn.
“I remember this.” He giggled. He showed you the picture, shoving the paper in your face. “Good times.” He smiled.
You laughed at him as you wandered around your room. He touched the walls, desks, pictures, everything with a bright smile.
He turned on his heal and walked up to you, your noses touching. “You’re like…Really and I mean really pretty.” He looked down at you and smiled, then quickly turned away to resume his wonder.
“I see you had a great time.” You laughed, leaning your back against your desk as he played with your radio.
“It was really really great.” He smiled, booping your nose and leaning forward. He draped an arm around your shoulders as he fumbled with one of your playlists. “Why do you like this music? Hooorrible.” He said. He scrolled through the playlist until he got to his songs. Love Is Strange from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack played throughout the speakers of the apartment.
Bucky walked backwards until he got to the center of the room. He pointed his finger at you rather serious, making a ‘come hither’ motion. You couldn’t help but laugh as you walked over to him. Grasping you in his arms, he led you through a sloppy and slow dance session.
“Your sweet looving is better than a kiss. When you leave me sweet kisses I miiss.” He sang loudly rather close to your face. The smell of alcohol intoxicated your nose as he sang the song.
“What did Tony give you, baby?” You asked in wonder. Your eyes bore into his blue and red ones. His cheeks were red and his eyes where half open, but he still looked great. Your hands rested on the grey shirt he was wearing, fisting the fabric in your hand as your other hand played with the small strands of hair on the nape of his neck.
“Someth-ing like..Asgard? Like…That God guy.” he giggled. “Ass gard.” He pulled his head in laughter.
“Ohh, boy.” you sighed out. This was one of the first times you’ve seen Bucky drunk off his ass, but you enjoyed the moment. You pulled away from the dance as Bucky mumbled the song. You watched him dance from your place sat on the bed, smiling and tilting your head in amusement.
“Silviaaa…” He copied. “Yesss Mickey?” He smiled and looked at you.
“How do you call your loverboy?” He asked as he echoed the song. It was your turn to pull your head back in laughter, covering your mouth as you shook your head. Oh, Bucky Barnes.
“Come ere, loverboy.” You laughed, spreading your arms out wide for him. His eyes widened as he smiled, running into your arms and collapsing his full weight onto you. You groaned out at his weight, sighing in relief as he propped himself up on his elbows then lowering his head on his chest.
“This drink Tony gave you, did he give it to the others too?” You asked, stroking his short hair.
“Mhmm.” He sighed in contentment. “All of usss. Sa-am and St-stove.” He laughed. “Stove Rogers.”
“Poor Natasha.” You whispered to yourself. You closed your eyes, sleep taking over your body, as you thought it did to your boyfriend above you.
“All right, sweetheart.” Charlie, the front-desk attendant, slides Annie’s keys across the counter, along with the packet of resources given to every person who completes the program. “You’re all set.”
Annie smiles, trying to ignore the way tears bite at the corners of her eyes, and takes one last look around the common room. Confetti from her going-away party still litters the floor. “Thanks. For everything. I’ll, um, I’ll keep in touch.”
Charlie raises her eyebrows, and Annie understands what she’s not saying loud and clear. Don’t you want to put this chapter of your life behind you, kid?
Imagine coming home to find Syd running around screaming with a cooked turkey on his head. David trying to extinguish the fire thats on the stove, Roger is on the table, his butt stuck in the mash potatoes, singing christmas songs. You look over to see Rick dressed as a pilgrim, clutching onto David’s booty, crying softly. Nick is in the other corner making love to the cranberry sauce, proceeding to rub it on his body.
Authors Note: also: “Can you please write something for this: I have skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?”
Steve watched as Tony popped an onion ring into his mouth. They were out eating at a fast food restaurant after one of their missions. Steve had noticed that Tony liked to treat himself after a job well done, and it was almost always some form of greasy food.
“How about Sharon?” Tony asked him simply as he looked up from his food. “She seems nice.”
“She is,” Steve said as he crinkled his nose. “But she’s only a friend.”
Tony gave him a look and Steve stuck his tongue out at him like a child.
When Steve came out of the ice Natasha took on the task of familiarizing showing him the modern world. They soon realized they needed an A. shorter and B. not embarrassingly childish way of saying “Don’t touch that, its dangerous!” They settled on “Hot Stove!”