story time

I ate a raw cucumber infront of my Student President while solving a Math test

Story: My friend was eating a raw cucumber which is heckin huge, she finished the little half of it though and she gave it to my other friend which she finished it a little bit and i said “Why are you eating me without my permission” and i just grabbed the cucumber and aggressively cronch it, until i finished the whole thing and finished my math test.

Woke ASF

Hey Boo!🌸 Let me start my stating that your blog truly is one of the best out there, If someone wants to argue this fact just drop y’all locations and we can talk😂😂. I am not sure how these raggedy, edgeless hoes think there is something wrong with creating a space where black women can literally be themselves and be a family. ALL TEA NO SHADE🐸☕️.
Anyways lol I did not come here to acknowledge their foolish ways but bruh I got a story that I believe Kmusic Fam will enjoy.

So recently Florida had a bitch ass visit from Hurricane Irma (her hoe ass, literally FUCKED shit up but thankfully I am okay) . Myself and my lil sister stay in a red zone so we had to evacuate the place, so we decided to pass the hurricane at a shelter (which was an elementary school)with three of our girlfriends (we are all Haitian women, shoutouts to my Zoes lol). ANTI ways. The shelter was PACKED and we had people from across the globe there, dead ass hella languages were being spoken even Lingala. We waited in line for literally a whole entire lifetime.So when we finally get our classroom (Our home for the next 2 nights). Out classroom was also connected to another classroom ( with a bathroom in the middle) and the classroom next to us was full of Korean people (mostly guys lol). To be honest I wasn’t checking if they were cute or not cause a bish was STRESSED WITH IRMA RAGGEDY ASS😔😒 plus physicality isn’t that much of a big deal for me since I’m looking to find out if your holistically yourself (as in mind, soul, and body) #hippystatus🌸🍃
My classroom had about likes good 13 people in there I met some really cool people and most of us were young.
So as the hours go by our classroom became super lit because we started playing games and we black folks was having hella fun lol but the crazy thing was the Korean Boys legit kept coming through our classroom’s entrance in order to get to their rooms and they literally did this like 6 times bruh (mind You there is legit a whole door that directly gets them to their respective area😅) there was even this moment where two of them came to our classroom “to wash their hands” (both classrooms had sinks so…🙃) so while they were there waiting their turn they were staring at us and whispering MAD LOUD about us (they said something like I really wanna join them and when they got caught they started smiling so big 😜 it was so cute (I was like bruh just SPEAK🗣🗣😒). But here comes the COOLEST PART OF THE STORY YALL 😂😂
So I love to read, I’m legit always reading a book, so as I’m in my classroom chilling one of the boys come over to our side again(😅) but this time he walked up to me and sat next to me on the kids table I was seating at lol he smiled at me real big and asked me: “ Are you in my class as well because I’m reading that book too”. I forgot to mention the book I’m reading is Sister Citizen: shame, stereotypes, and black women in America by Melissa V. Harris- Perry (it’s a must read). I look at him and I say: “Lol no I’m reading this for fun what class are you taking?” Then this boy says: “I am taking a class called Black Women in Society” so you know I had to ask why was he taking the class. This boy says: “ Well a lot of my Korean guy friends always wanted to know more about black women because we believe that they are beautiful inside and out but they aren’t a lot of you guys in Korea and I wanted to know more about what it meant to be a black women so I decided to take a class about you guys and because I also wanted to meet some black girls” bruh I was laughing so hard and then we started talking about how Asians and black people have a lot in common and he wishes he can see more black women in Korea and he also expressed his annoyance for the cultural appropriation going on in Kmusic world bruh that man was passionate, like dead ass he was so annoyed and I appreciated that he peeped the different perspectives and his English was PERFECT !

Long story short y’all Idols or not them boys outchere ready to embrace they beautiful Queens👑 So don’t be shy lol I mean not all people are going to like you and that’s fine but don’t let that stop you from making that first move my loves. I know this story MAD long and it’s not about love or a fine ASS men but I hope y’all enjoyed it lol.

Hopefully I’ll meet you GUISE at our first real life cookout! 💕 stay bless Queens🌸🍃

Someone send help

I am generally shitting myself rn. I live in the UK and atm we are having a storm (of windy nature), so every morning when I get up my Nan asks me to collect all the rubbish, that has blown in, from our front garden which I did today. Once I had finished I went up stairs to my bedroom when my Nan called me back down saying “You haven’t finished getting all the rubbish”. I tell her I have and then ask “What did I miss?” Thinking it was going to be something small. Boy was I wrong. My Nan then says “there’s a balloon in the garden how could you miss that”. I say “Nan there in no balloon in the garden I would have picked it up if there were. What colour is it?” She says “It’s red”. Now that’s when I start shitting. I look out the window and see this…

The balloon is still there and I am now hiding in my room and never coming out.

sO I HAVE SOME GAY ASS NEWS MOTHERFUCKERS

so i was with this boy i like this weekend and holy. fuck. he is so fucking nerdy and attractive i cANT.

but anyways we were in this foresty time area behind his house. we were climbing through the area giggling and flirty a lot. he grabbed my hand to help walk me across a log. these group of guys our age come to us and start sayin shit like “faggots” and “pussies”.

then one boy said, “Are you here with your boyfriend *guys name*”

and the boy looked him dead in the eye. grabbed my hand, and basically fucking growled, “yeah? got a problem with asshole?” and men’s mugged the fuck out of them while my twink as was like a tomato.holy fUCK IT WAS ATTRACTIVE AND IVE NEVER SEEN A BUNCHH OF BOYS AFRAID.

after the guys walk away, i turn to him and was like “so we are dating know then?” and he jUST FUCKIN WINKS AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS AND ASSFGHJKD I REALLY LIKE HIM? bUT I DONT KNOW IF HES GAY OR NOT? SO IM LOST

anonymous asked:

Oooooo girl i’m really happy!! i have a crush on this asian boy and i feel this weird vibe like every time we can always find each other eyes in a crowd And the other day him and his friends were walking by and i hear “you like her don’t you” & i heard the reply “yeah” so idk if it was a coincidence or if my crush said it but just know i was the ONLY person & girl around but there is also a chance that i was completely wrong n they talking bout someone else but 👀👀 i’ll keep you updated :)

Uh oh! ☕️

There was a little girl in church, about 5, and her parents obviously let her get dressed herself that day because she came waddling in with the puffiest coat on in the summer in North Carolina. She comes and sits in the pew in front of us. 15 minutes into mass she turns around and hands my husand an orange. Her parents are mortified.


“Savannah not again!” They scold! (Again kills me)


They appologize and she turns back around. A few moments later she goes to hand me an orange but her parents grab it from her before she can.


Savannah is determined. She reaches her tiny fists into her puffy coat and pulls out two more ornages. She begins to distribute them. Her parents are now beat red and in shock. There is no stopping small Savannah now.


This small child proceeds to laugh a laugh I can only call maniacal (in a Catholic church) unzip the inner line of her coat and releases what had to have been 20-30 of those little kid oranges into the pews.


WE EAT Savannah yells cackeling


The priest can no longer contain his glee

The entire church is dying with laughter


She felt like Jesus on the moutian with the baskets of fish that day I’m sure.


Children are amazing.

kids are fuckin wild dude,,,

i walked out of my apartment this morning and a five year old kid was playing outside and immediately he pointed at my aparment and was like “some chinese people used to live there. now someone else does”

and i was like… you mean that one? and pointed at my apartment, the one i literally just walked out of

and he was like “yeah”

and i was like……….. yeah…

In freshman year I had a math teacher who was super mean to me specifically who would loan out basic calculators. So one day I decided that I would steal all the calculators. But not all at once bc then it would be obvious it was me. So whenever she wasn’t paying attention I would grab 2 calculators a class and put one back but keep the other one. I did this over a course of 2 months. Now I wasn’t gonna let my fellow students suffer just because of my spite. So I’d loan out calculators. But then I realized I could gain something from this. If someone wanted a calculator I’d ask for a quarter or something like food. I became known as the calculator girl. But everyone kept it on the dl bc no one liked this math teacher.
In the end I think I had over 50 calculators.
And the last day of school I dropped them all off anonymously in her classroom.
And that’s the story of how I ran a successful black market business out of spite.

@sixpenceee This is a story for you, this literally just happened to me about an hour ago.

I got home from work today and I was singing in the bathroom while I was taking off my makeup. My boyfriend and I record covers of songs and I started to hear music from the living room so I stopped singing to listen. I was hearing a cover we did of Nutshell by Alice in Chains and I thought my voice sounded really good in this particular recording so after a few seconds when my boyfriend walked into the bathroom I asked him which specific audio he played because I liked it.

He looked at me really confused and asked “What do you mean?” I asked him again and he still looked baffled and said slowly “I was playing guitar… I could hear you singing. You sounded really good.” I just stared at him, slowly starting to realize what just transpired.

I thought my boyfriend was playing a recording because I could hear my own voice, or something like it. He thought I was singing from the bathroom for the same exact reason except I wasn’t singing. I don’t know who or what was. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this, although I am not particularly surprised as weird things seem to gravitate towards me.

A group of college guys came in at like 12:30 in the morning for sodas (I work at a 24 hour gas station) and one had his shirt open and was flirting with me and I said “you’re gonna have to button your shirt if you wanna stay in here” and he’s like “oh shit u rite” and after I rang him up he was leaving and pointing at me and saying “yknow you’re a straight shooter” and I’m tired af so I just call out “there’s nothing straight about me” and one of the other guys was like “same” while another was like “what just happened” and I had to reply “hi it’s the gay parade welcome to the party” and the gay one just started busting up laughing

i guess i just remembered this story from the DEH stage door so Michael Park was the first person to come out and i was so fucking starstruck like holy shit thats Michael Park and when he gets to me hes super friendly and so incredibly sweet just taking his time to talk and sign things and so i say to him “i have to say i think you are the funniest member of this cast” and i explained that he was just so uplifting and funny in interviews and stuff and first he said “well when this is your job you can never take yourself too seriously” which is honestly great advice and then a little louder he says “hey make sure to tell Will Roland you think im the funniest when he comes around” and i swear i hear from all the way down the stage door line in a very tiny Will Roland voice “michael i swear to god” 

mind fantasy

aries mercury: explosive mind; the roars of supernovas, vibrations of earthquakes, visionary warrior of light. Battle cry of the Will 

taurus mercury: wistful memories and soul words of wisdom coming from a mind as solid as the ancient wood and as sweet as blossoms. the voice of an angels melody 

gemini mercury: butterfly child dancing in the wind. mind filled with cerebral surges and conveying messages through curious chatter and child-like wisdom. breathless voice, sounds of wind chimes and bells 

cancer mercury: lunar illumination casting imaginative dreams and nostalgic comfort, lunar waters rinse the mind with moonlight mood and psychic sense, voice of the Soul 

leo mercury: lantern of light bearing solar rays, mind shining with creative cerebral vision, the proud and royal voice of Spirit 

virgo mercury: the earthbound angel, with roots and blossoms sprouting from her wings. the voice of bittersweet whispers, cleansing words. 

libra mercury: the bearer of two lights upon each hand glowing at different intervals, covered in golden blossoms. the weigher and moral voice of Reason

scorpio mercury: keeper of the celestial gates, protective voice of the deceived, icy and fiery eyes alike. a mind that knows the unknown. the angel of death and her silent scream of the soul. 

sagittarius mercury: voyager of the universe, traversing the sea of stars from which they were born. starlight shines through their eyes, creating a celestial vision. the laughter of twinkling stars, the whizzing of asteroids 

capricorn mercury: guardian of wisdom high atop the mountains that reach towards the skies, universe and beyond. all are under the watchful gaze of the guardian. the low-wind of the earth and hum of the universe is their voice

aquarius mercury: electrical storms brewing in the skies, manifesting in the mind and articulating through every odd expression of speech. lightning strikes bring about visions of the future, the mad scientist creates mechanisms, mother of knowledge 

pisces mercury: the singing of the cosmos, the crash of the waves, the sound of a heart beating underwater. the divine source from which the voice of angels ascends, whispering over the shoulder of innocents and guiding them to sanctuary 

I always thought I was just too young- until I looked up and realized I was older. I was older and the “feelings” never came. There was no change in how I saw others, instead I just went along with what was expected of me and then discovered that others weren’t doing the same thing. They acted that way because it’s how they actually felt, I acted that way because I thought it was a joke.

I had a dream where I was a vampire but it wasn’t cool or scary or empowering, it was mostly inconvenient.

I had to live by a specific sleeping schedule, and get a night job for vampires. I didn’t drink blood but I still had fangs and I kept biting my tongue on accident.