story tapes

Just PNWS things

“It’s a podcast” “what’s a podcast”

“Are you from the radio” *sigh* “yeah”

Nic on rabbits and the black tapes: be careful don’t do anything stupid
Nic on Tanis: *drinks drugged tea, goes into danger*

Insomnia

Psychiatrists

Softie sincere host with an acerbic sidekick

The Deep Web™

7 Reasons Why

So…. I am currently watching the new tv show “13 Reasons Why” and my mind decided to make a tragically-beautiful connection tooooo can you guess what?? YUP LANCE!! So here are my thoughts once again… hope you enjoy and feel free to comment any other ideas!!
*NOTE* I’m lowkey crying as I’m writing this. My heart isn’t okay. I’m not okay, okay?? *MORE NOTES* So this came out kinda different than the show/book but i hope yall kinda get the idea

  • Lance was dead. Had committed suicide to be exact. And he left his story behind.
  • The tapes appeared from nowhere. No one knew where they came from or where they disappeared to. No one knew that the tapes contained so much in such a small amount of time. No one knew that these tapes would become an ugly part of them.
  • “Hello space pals and gals. Lance McClain (KINDA LOVE THIS LAST NAME) here. Live and in stereo.”
  • Lance starts off by explaining his “7 Reasons Why” (hahaha get it? Cuz he’s the seventh wheel?? *cries*) he committed suicide and his two rules.
    • “Rule number one. You must listen to the tapes. I’m not gonna lie. This is going to be hard to do but you MUST LISTEN.”
    • “Rule number two. When you are done, you must leave them where you found them. And if you, oh lets say, decide to throw them away, tsk tsk tsk…. bad things will happen.”
  • “First and foremost, our mighty and heroic leader, Shiro.”
    • “I wasn’t good enought to be praised by you.” Lance explains that Shiro was a good leader, a great leader one might say. Unreplacable, “unlike me.” So why was it that he never told Lance “great job” or “thanks for the help.” Why did he alway care so much for Keith? Told him “great job out there” and patted him on the back after every battle. Why did he always take his side even when he was in the wrong? Why did he treat Pidge like a little sister? Always taking care of them and making sure they were getting enough sleep. Always being so nice and caring to both. “You were always my hero but why did you not act like it?” He never payed attention when Lance didnt get enough sleep or didnt eat or was sick. Always making him work and train. Always pointing out his flaws without helping him improve them. “Why, Shiro, did you not care for me?”
  • “Can you guess our number two?? Well, I’ll give you a hint. It’s not me this time. *laughs* First time being number two, our excellent number one paladin, Keith!”
    • “Keith my man, I loved you.” (Klangst? WHY TF NOT?!?) Lance always loved Keith, always looked up to him too. He loved to joke around with him, loved to rile him up, loved to bicker with him because thats how he got to talk to him. He knew that they were playing around so why did it hurt so much? “Why Keith, did you always tell me I wasn’t good enough?” Always telling him to leave you alone, always “you’re annoying me” and never “please stay.” Keith always reminded Lance that he was never good enough, never up to his level, never realizing how lance felt. But how could Lance blame him? However, sometimes Keith, you, took it to far to the point where my heart was too broken to put back together. “I’ve always loved you but you made it so easy to hate you, too.”
  • “My favorite green paladin, my little space sister (female pronouns for this), my gaming buddy, Pidge.”
    • “Pidge, did you even ever realize that I saw you as my sister?” Lance saw his little sister in Pidge. He always, like Shiro, did his best to make sure they stayed healthy. He was always fussing over her eating and sleeping habits. So why did she never appreciate him? “Pidge, you never even said thanks you.” Lance just wanted to be a brother to her. So why did she make him a disposable replacement for her missing brother? Always using him when necessary and then throwing him away when it got too much for her? “Leave me alone Lance. Im working.” Pidge sometimes said really hurtful comments to Lance and she never let him help her because why would she let someone “annoying” help? In, reality Pidge was his sister but according to Pidge, “You are not my brother, Lance. Matt is.”
  • “Hunk, my precious beautiful friend. You did nothing wrong but you also did nothing at all.”
    • “Where to start?” Hunk had always been Lance’s best friend but after Voltron things changed. “I noticed that you and Pidge would hang out together, without me.” Lance just wants to be part of their group again. He tried so hard so join, to contribute, to help. But all he got was “you’re distracting us.” Although they didn’t hang out as much, Hunk was the first one to realize that something was wrong with Lance. “You left me alone.” Hunk saw him getting worse and changing throughout the days. He saw but didn’t do anything. “Hunk, why did you not do anything, if you noticed?” Lance wondered why Hunk left him by himself, why he didn’t try to reach out to him, why he didn’t invite him over, why didn’t he? “You could have helped but you didn’t.”
  • “Our beautiful space princess who will save the universe without moi, Allura.”
    • “Sometimes, your pushing for perfection was too much, not just for me but for everyone.” Lance always felt like the odd one out. Everyone was good at something but he never had a “thing” and Allura’s nagging didn’t help. “Keep up Lance!” Keep up with Keith in the training stimulator. Keep up with Pidge’s new machinery. Keep up with Shiro’s battle plans. Keep up with Hunk’s nee inventions. Keep up. “Again.” No matter how hard Lance tried, Allura was never satisfied. Never complementing him, never saying “good job,” never letting him rest, never telling he was good enough. “Why, Allura, did you never see how hard I was trying?”
  • “Lets talk about our seventh wheel, our number one *snickers* sharpshooter, Me! Lance!”
    • “In my opinion, I was the number one at fault for this occurrence.” Lance hated himself. He hated himself for feeling jealous, angry, sad, homesick, depressed. “I just wanted to be like the rest of you all.” Lance wanted to be as good as Keith and as strong as Shiro. He wanted to be as nice and comforting as Hunk. Wanted to be as smart as Pidge and as powerful as Allura. “I wish I wasn’t so selfish.” Lance thought he was selfish. He wished to get “thanks you’s” from the rest. Wished he get praised from Shiro and Allura. Wished Keith would feel the same way. Wished he was home with his famiy. He wished and wished and he hated it. “I wished I was home.”
  • “My favorite alien, Coran, the one who took care of me and who noticed me struggling. Yes, he tried to help but I guess it wasn’t enough since I’m dead now.”
    • “You let me walk away.” Coran tried helping Lance in his own way. But how could an alien understand some Earthly emotions? “We talked but sometimes it was just you talking.” Coran tried to get Lance to open up to him but failed. He always cut off Lance with his own stories so he never let Lance say what was bothering him. “Coran, you were like an uncle to me.” Coran reminded Lance of his uncle and it kinda hurt him. He was constantly reminded of his family whenever he was with Coran. This made his emotions even worse when he talked to Coran because sometimes Coran didn’t understand him. The day Lance died, Coran had told him to just “move on.” Lance just got up and left but he secretly hoped that Coran would come after him. He didn’t. “You wanted me to move on from this and I did.”
  • “I’m sorry.”

***NOTICE***
IDK IF YALL HAVE SEEN THIS AWESOME SNIPPET OF THE REACTIONS…
written by @the-kittens-of-voltron (it was written a looooonggg time ago so, so sorry for the lateness)

anonymous asked:

Can you recommend some podcasts for me? I liked The Morified, My Dad wrote a Porno, My Favorite Murder and Welcome to Night Vale. I'm looking for something is very dramatic like Welcome to Night Vale or even anything similar to the podcasts listened above. Plz help! xx

Don’t worry, anon, we got this!

If you’re looking for dramatic things, definitely check out the Spooky Scary Podcasts recommendation list, as well as some of these other asks we’ve answered. I especially want to recommend Wolf 359 (!!), The Black Tapes, and The Penumbra.

Also, if you like long audio dramas with a lot of action, check out We’re Alive (flawed, yes, but certainly dramatic!)

If you’d rather listen to something lighthearted and fun (like My Dad Wrote A Porno), there are some great suggestions on this list.


Since you also list My Favourite Murder, here are some more true crime (-ish) podcasts you might want to check out:

Hollywood & Crime: 

Docu-drama about the Black Dahlia murder in 1947 - and a dozen other murders happening at the same time in suspiciously similar circumstances …

Serial:

Sarah Koenig investigates the murder of a young girl, and the circumstances of her boyfriend’s arrest - and conviction.

Unsolved Murders: True Crime Stories:

Highly immersive true crime podcast that sometimes feels more like a old time-y audio drama.

Last Podcast on the Left:

Aliens, murders, conspiracy theories, and more!
Warning: not all their language is what we’d consider politically correct, and the humor is rather … crude … maybe a bit harsh sometimes? Also there is swearing, sometimes a lot. So if that’s something you’re not sure about, proceed with caution.

You Must Remember This:

All about “the secret and/or forgotten history of Hollywood’s first century”; not a true crime podcast, but due to the nature of Hollywood’s first century, there is quite a lot of crime in it, like the Black Dahlia case, or a whole season about Charles Manson!! (I couldn’t stop listening!!)


Hope you’ll find something you like!

Elisabeth/Lizz

pnws protaganists
  • alex: complicated individual, blurs the lines of ethical reporting, gets heavily invested in her stories and isn't willing to leave any stone unturned, talented at certain things but isn't an expert at everything
  • carly: loyal friend, nerdy hipster gamer, 100% tired, no sense of cyber security protocols, did i mention she's a gamer?, angsty backstory, tries her best but is often a fish out of water
  • nic: THE CHOSEN ONE, just your average joe but happens to be the center of a major conspiracy, just your average joe but all the ladies love him and has a sexy russian ex, whether it's losing his favourite mug or witnessing someone ripping their chest open he'll react with the same monotonous "that happened", supposedly an amazing journalist but gets 99% of his info from mk, did i mention he's so sexy that even mk wants some of that?
13 Reasons Why (Tape 1)

Characters: Dean, sister!reader, Mary, Sam, John

Warnings: mention of death, angst, swearing

Word count: 4139

Summary: Dean listens to the first tape that you left after you died. He learns about the rules he has to follow with them, and who the first cause of your decision was.

A/N: italics are flashbacks to the events before your death

Series: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Dean woke up around 5am on Monday morning. It had been three months since you, his 18 year old sister, had decided to take your own life. Him and Sam never got a note, you were just gone and that was all they knew. They were too late to save you and that bothered him. Every morning since that day he woke up at 5am. He realised there was no going back to sleep so he climbed out of bed and headed to the door. When he opened the door he was surprised to be greeted with a small box in front of his feet. Dean looked left and right and noticed Sam wasn’t around to have just placed the box there. He sighed, picked it up, shut his door and walked back to his bed.

As he opened up the box he was confused as he noticed that all was inside were tapes. Why would someone give him a box of tapes? Dean rummaged through the box on his shelf and found his old tape player that John had given him when he was a kid and wanted to listen to AC/DC. He put the first mysterious tape inside the player and pressed play.

“Hello,” the familiar voice that he hadn’t heard for three months spoke which almost hurt his ears to know that he could hear in tape form. He must have been mistaken… It couldn’t be!

“My name is Y/N Winchester,” your tape continued. “I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended… And if you’re listening to this tape,” The tape paused for a moment and Dean waited in suspense. “You’re one of the reasons why.”

He pulled the headphones off his head and sat there for a moment. He couldn’t believe the voice or words he was hearing. How could this be real? How could he really be hearing it? Having to listen to the voice of his deceased sister was hard for him, but the only way to find out more was listening to the tapes… So he continued. It wasn’t a fast decision, he took a breath and thought about just throwing them away. But then he would never know the reason why. This was like your suicide note, only in the form of 13 tapes.

His shaky hands picked up the headphones and placed them carefully on his head. He pressed play on the tape player and continued to listen. “As there are to every story, there are 13 different sides to this. I’m going to tell you all of them. Each tape is based on one of the people that are the reason my life ended. So, once you’ve listened to all the tapes you need to pass these on to the next person. If you don’t, well, just know that someone is always watching every single one of you and will make sure that all the tapes are listened to by every person. Now that you understand.. Let me begin with my first tape.”

Dean closed his eyes and followed the story you were telling. “First up, we have the thing that started it all… It was a normal day for you maybe, but not me at all. I didn’t know about hunting or any of that, not until you told me. I went to find you after mom had said she saw you earlier that day, I thought maybe it would be a chance for me to meet my father for the first time. Incase you hadn’t figured it out by now, we have our first person of the story. Welcome to your tape, John.”

Dean realised that John could have been the one these tapes outside of Dean’s room. He almost forgot that both of his parents now lived in the bunker with him and Sam. John must have listened to the tapes before him. Or maybe it was Mary? Since you died they both acted weirdly around both the boys, but then again, Mary acted strangely around you anyway so maybe she had something to do with all of this. He didn’t have time to think as the tape continued to play and tell Dean the story of what happened to you.

* * *

You were a nervous wreck ever since you joined your father and his two sons. Your mom insisted on you moving in with John so that you could bond and get to know your father after all those years of wishing you knew him. You knew it wouldn’t be easy meeting him when the day came, but you never expected it to be that hard.

He told you all about hunting and all his excuses of why he left you and your mother. They were stupid and you hated listening to him explaining, you needed someone to take your anger out on and that person was John. You needed to scream and shout at him every now and then for small things just so you could release some of the pain that he made you feel for most of your life.

But that shit didn’t fly with John, you either did as he said or you were gone. “It’s my way or the highway,” you recalled him saying to you a few times after your arguments. Sam and Dean didn’t live with John really, it was more like John lived with them, along with Mary Winchester. They owned this thing called the Men Of Letters Bunker. The place was huge, so many bedrooms you couldn’t count, you could have sworn you found a new room there everyday.

Before John moved in here, him and his wife (who was also the two boy’s mother) had come back to life after so many years. They didn’t fit into the word exactly so they relied on hunting as what kept them grounded. Sam, Dean, John, Mary and you. That’s how it was. Of course, being the youngest meant that you had to follow everyone’s rules and it was for your own ‘safety.’

* * *

“For my own safety? That was complete bullshit,” you spoke smoothly through Dean’s headphones. “You just wanted someone to boss around, dad. You couldn’t control Sam and Dean anymore, so you made sure that you could completely control me. Before that I didn’t have anyone controlling me, I could do what I wanted and act however I thought was right for me. You took that from me… That’s where it all started going down hill, it’s where I started to break.”

Dean once again paused the tape. He checked his nightstand and saw that it was now 6am. How had time moved so quickly? How long had it taken him to listen to this short part of the tape? He knew he had taken it out at the beginning because it was too hard to listen to, but he never knew he was stalling for so long.

A break from this right now seemed appropriate. So, he took the headset off, left it on his bed and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat. Every step he took felt heavier than the last. This wasn’t something new, it had been happening ever since you took your life, but now it was hitting him harder. It made every movement more painful than they had been before; he didn’t even know that was possible until now.

Once he reached the kitchen, he was pleasantly surprised to see that Mary, John and Sam were already there and eating breakfast. Sam was still at the stove, finishing up cooking some eggs and the rest of the bacon while John and Mary sat opposite each other and ate what they already had. “Dean,” John said by surprise. “You’re up later than usual.”

“It’s 6am,” Dean replied with a gravelly voice that he always had when he was tired. Lately, it seemed to be the only voice he had.

“You’re usually up at around 5,” John noted. Sam came and sat down next to Mary at the table and placed a plate down for himself and for Dean.

“You hungry?” Sam asked and Dean joined them at the table. “How you holding up?”

“I feel… Different to what I have for the last few months,” Dean replied to his little brother. “You know, I actually woke up at 5am again today. I stayed in my room because I found something left outside my door.”

All of their eyes widened as Dean spoke. They looked at each other before John spoke. “So she finally finished listening to them.”

“What? Who?” Dean questioned as he squeezed his fork tightly in his hand.

“We can’t talk about this,” Mary recalled before picking up a piece of bacon from her plate and eating it.

“You can’t do that to me! Who are you talking about?!” Dean demanded as he threw his fork down.

“The last person that had the tapes,” John told him which earned a glance from Mary and Sam.

“The tapes… You’ve all listened to them?” Dean looked around at them all. They were faces of the people he knew, they were his family. But they all felt so unfamiliar, like strangers with secrets.

“We can’t talk about it, you need to listen to the tapes,” Sam finished before taking his plate over to the trash can and throwing his food away.

“Are any of you on there? Who is the ‘she’ that you’re talking about? Is it someone else on the tapes?” Dean asked quickly, not giving them time to answer any of them as he continued. “Are you all on the tapes?”

“Dean, we can’t,” Mary snapped. “You have to just listen to the tapes, everyone on there had to.”

He stood up and made his way to the exit of the kitchen but stopped in his tracks.

“It’s hard to listen to,” Dean admitted with a sad voice. He stood in the door way as he spoke to them. “It’s the voice of my dead sister.”

“Dean!” John hissed. He looked at his son standing in there, he looked so heartbroken and vulnerable. “Please son, just listen to the tapes.”

Dean glared at them all. If looks could kill, they would all be dead in a second. He stormed off and went back to his room, it turned out he didn’t get any food or a drink to soothe his feelings of anxiety right now. He returned in the same state he was in before. Dean placed the headset back on his ears and continued to listen to John’s tape.

“But that wasn’t all, was it dad?” You questioned rhetorically. “No, you did more than just boss me around. When you realised you couldn’t do it anymore, you did the only thing that you thought you could do to end the lack of control…”

* * *

It was a few months after you had moved into the bunker and began your training to become a hunter. It wasn’t the physical side of it all because you already knew how to fight after your countless years of being bullied at school. That’s why the boys and your dad were so okay with you going hunting with them; they knew you could take care of yourself.

It was the research of it all. You weren’t used to connecting the dots with how certain monsters acted or what they did with how the victims had died. You gradually became better at it, but you weren’t as good as your brothers because they grew up doing it. You knew that. You understood that.

John didn’t seem to though. All he did was compared you to Sam and Dean and demanded that you become a smarter person. That wasn’t something you could just do, you can’t just snap your fingers one day and get what you want. You have to work for shit like that, it takes time and patience… But those were two things that John lacked.

It was that one day in the motel you were all staying in. The report in the paper said that the bystanders smelled sulphur after the woman was attacked. That was easy enough to figure out, right? Wrong. You weren’t trained enough in the mythology of monsters and you had no idea that sulphur was a sign of demons. You read past it and said there was nothing in there that could have been your kind of thing.

John insisted that you had missed something, just like he always did. You hated when you had to look for cases in the paper. Either you would misjudge it and say you had found a case or you would read past it too quickly and not realise that there was your kind of thing going on. No. You never got it right, so John always checked.

He held the paper in his hand as he sat opposite you at the small table in the motel. You watched nervously as his eyes scanned over the front page and read about the current murder spree going around. “Jesus Christ,” he groaned as he slammed the paper down on the table. “You’re kidding me right, Y/N? You don’t see a case here?”

“Uh, no, sir,” you replied shakily. Sam and Dean noticed your worry from where they were sitting on the beds. Mary was currently out on a supply run.

“It says here the by passers could smell sulphur,” John stated as he looked over at his sons.

“So what are we thinking, a demon?” Dean asked while he continued to clean his gun.

John clicked his tongue and Dean’s answer as if it was obvious. “Exactly… A demon.”

“A demon?” You questioned as you looked between all of them.

“The smell of sulphur is an instant alert for a demon,” Sam told you with a smile. He didn’t mind teaching you, he actually enjoyed it. He liked passing on his knowledge with you and helping you become a better hunter. He had patience… John didn’t.

“Yeah,” John snapped. “Every hunter should know that.”

You hated when he got like this because you instantly knew it was a dig at you and you were tired of it. The boys saw nothing of it because they didn’t pay enough attention. That’s why they thought you were in the wrong when you snapped back.

“Well, I’m still new at this so you can’t expect me to know everything,” you hissed which got John’s back up. You were glad it pissed him off, it was time that he took you seriously.

“You do not speak to your father like that!” He shouted as he stood from his chair and pushed it back aggressively.

You stood up too so you could regain dominance in the conversation. “What kind of father are you? I barely even know you!”

“This isn’t about me,” he replied with a steady tone.

“Yes it is!” You screamed. “This is about you… This is about what you didn’t do. You weren’t there because you were too busy hunting with your other family. And yes, I know that you died when I was a kid, but even when you came back to life you didn’t bother looking for me.”

“I thought we were past this,” he growled with flared nostrils.

“We are. We are past this,” you lied. You weren’t over it, but you had to pretend you were for the sake of everyone else. “I’m not reminding you about it because I’m hurt, I’m reminding you because you need to understand my point of view. I’m not good at researching cases with you because I was never here for it. And you’re not good at being a father to me because you were never there.”

When you finished your statement it was as if the world stopped for a minute. You came to terms with what you had said and realised that you meant it; John wasn’t as accepting towards the statement as you were. The boys both gasped as they saw John’s hand being drawn back.

Before you could react to his movement, John’s hand made harsh contact with your cheek. It was enough force that if pushed you to the floor. You breathed heavily as you stood up; you were holding your hand against your cheek in disbelief.

“You asshole!” You growled as your stood on your feet. “You fucking asshole!”

“What the hell is going on?” Mary demanded as she walked through the door. “Y/N? What happened to your face?”

“It was dad! He slapped me!” You screamed. “You’re a dick, how could you?!”

“Dad, you crossed the line,” Sam said. “You don’t hit your kids.”

“Things just got out of hand,” Dean insisted. “They should never have gone this far, you need to talk about this and sort it out because this shit has been going on for too long. All you do is argue with each other over the smallest things.”

“Dean! He hit her!” Sam defended as he stood up in annoyance.

“We’ve all hit each other! Hell, we’ve tried to kill each other before,” Dean recalled. You couldn’t believe Dean would actually try and defend his father, you thought he had changed.

“Why are you defending him?!” You fumed.

“I’m not,” Dean said calmly. He put his arms up in defence as he continued to talk. “All I’m saying is we have all done terrible things to each other, our family is messed up. This is something that’s needs to be dealt with and then we move on.”

You scoffed at his words. John looked down at you the same way he always did, his eyes full of hatred and boiling with anger. “There’s nothing to talk about. I want you gone, Y/N.”

“But-”

“No!” John spat. “I want you gone, get the fuck out of here. Go back to living with your mom, the hunting life isn’t for everyone and you’re most definitely not meant to be a hunter.”

You couldn’t believe the words that were leaving his mouth. You looked at your brothers and saw that even they didn’t know what to say. You grabbed your things, threw them into a backpack and walked out like you weren’t even bothered. But of course you were. You were so desperate for one of them to follow you and beg you to come back… But no one ever did.

* * *

“You hit me in the face. It hurt. But not as much as it hurt when you hit me with rejection and hatred. You wanted me gone… I hated you, John, more than I had ever hated anyone. You felt the same way about me and I wasn’t going to stick around for that so I headed back to my moms.”

Dean once again removed the headphones and paused the tape. There wasn’t long left of this tape but it was so hard for him to listen to. He checked his clock on his nightstand once again and saw that it was now 1:35pm. Food. He needed food.

Another walk to the kitchen with pain in his steps led to a nervous feeling in his stomach. What John had done to you was so bad, what if Dean’s was worse? What if he had hurt you but had no idea that it had affected you so badly? Dean was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw his father sitting alone at the kitchen table and drinking a beer.

“Hey, son,” he said with a soft voice. “You doing ok?”

“I’m great,” Dean snapped. “I won’t talk to you and piss you off though, I don’t wanna get a beating.”

John sighed and rubbed his palm over his face. “You listened to my tape.”

“I haven’t finished it yet,” Dean shook his head. “It’s still hard to listen to.”

John didn’t reply to what Dean said, he just took another swig of his beer and stared at the wall. Dean went to the fridge and pulled out some left over bacon that was cooked that morning. He put the plate in front of him and his father at the table as he came and sat opposite him. “Stop staring at the wall and look at me,” Dean demanded. John looked at the disappointment in his sons eyes. “Feeling sorry for yourself won’t bring her back.”

Now he saw something in John that he had never let him see before. It was weakness. “I remember that day,” Dean continued. “I remember that I defended you when you hurt her because I was scared that what you did would make her leave. I was selfish and I wanted her to stay so I tried to justify what happened.”

“Son-”

“I’m not finished,” Dean snapped. “What you did drove her away from our family… The only reason she came back was because she had nowhere else to go after she went home and found her moms dead body. If you didn’t send her away she would never had seen that.”

“You don’t think I know that!” John shouted which caught Dean by surprise. He sighed as he realised his anger had once again got the better of him. “Dean-” his voice was steady and low, “-the reason I did that to her was to protect her.”

“You hit her to protect her?” Dean demanded.

“I pushed her away to protect her,” John said as tears began to form in his eyes. “Before I slapped her I kept snapping at her and being nasty to her because I wanted her to leave so she could be safe. I knew that if I told her that she wouldn’t leave, and no matter how many times I shouted at her or was a complete dick to her she would just get upset… But she would stay. I had to do something that would finally make her leave; I had to make her think that I hated her so that she would hate me. If she stayed with us she would have continued to hunt and I wanted better for her.”

John wiped his tears away before drinking more of his beer. It was as if he thought the alcohol would soothe the sting, but it only made it worse. “I loved my baby,” he cried. “She was my only daughter and she made me proud every day. I’ll never get a chance to tell her that.”

Dean shook his head. He understood why John did what he did and he sympathised with him, but it didn’t matter. That wouldn’t bring you back. It wouldn’t fix anything. “She’s dead because you were too scared to love her.”

Dean didn’t plan on saying it, it was just a thought that popped into his head but he needed to get it out. Secrets were one of the reasons you ended your life, he didn’t want to keep them anymore.

John had no idea how to respond to Dean. How could someone reply to that? He was one of the causes of his daughters death because he was a coward. Dean didn’t even know what to think anymore. He needed to know more. He had one more bite of the bacon before he put the plate back in the fridge and headed back to his room.

They were still there when he got back. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he was hoping that the tapes weren’t real and that you were still there in the bunker. When you moved in you told him that you wanted your room next to his so you could knock on the wall if you wanted to talk to each other.

He picked the tape player up, it felt colder than when he last held it. A chill shot down his spine as he thought about the tapes again and how they were all you left behind. Your voice played again in his ears.

“After you kicked me out, dad, I went back for my mom. I ran in to my house, crying my eyes out because of what you did. I wanted comfort from my mom,” you explained. “She was all I needed right at that moment because in my whole life she was all I ever had. But I never got to speak to her… I went into her room and found her covered in blood. She didn’t move… Or breathe… She did nothing.”

Your voice broke as you spoke about your mothers death and Dean closed his eyes at the thought. “And this, ladies and gentlemen, brings me to my second tape. And you know who you are when I say that on my next tape, we’re going to talk about the person that murdered my mother.”

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Podcast Roundup

I have a confession to make, I think I am most definitely addicted to podcasts. I actually have a rotation of at least 20 of them to cycle between depending on my mood, though they tend to lean into the creepy and surreal. Here are my personal favorites on my list at the moment, in rough order of my immediate compulsion to listen:

1. Welcome to Night Vale: My first brush with the unknowable and standard for judging podcasts

2. Serial (DUH!)

3. Dear Hank and John: Vlogbrothers <3 and the inevitable condition of mortality <3 in a comedy podcast 

4. The Black Tapes Podcast and TANIS: Two podcasts, both from Pacific Northwest Stories, one about demons and cursed sounds and the other about whatever Tanis is…? Both are perfect for my walk home through either the cemetery or the woods, depending on my mood and how quickly the demons are pursuing

5. King Falls AM: If Night Vale felt more like a call-in radio show and less like a news ballad led by Cecil

6. Lore and Limetown: My next set of creepy stories (at least one of them is factual) that make me look over my shoulder at night. The mythos brought out by lore in telling stories and the story played out in limetown are both delightfully terrifying

7. Kakos Industries: Take Night Vale’s Strexcorp, add some kink and darkness into that evil and you have yourself these delightfully seductive shareholder announcements. This one is definitely not for the more delicate ears out there

8. Pleasuretown: Old-timey western and campfire ghost stories with some paranormal flare

9. EOS 10: Because every single character makes me feel things with their adorable sci-fi antics

10. Invisibilia: Because perception is a beautiful thing to explore…will be higher up once the new stuff roles around. Also, fair warning, the hosts of the program are right when they say that both of them sound alike but in time you will tell them apart :)

11. A History of the World in 100 Objects: My interest in museum studies brought out this little gem that I just discovered and have enjoyed as it delves into a new treasure from the British museum in each episode

A few others: The Bunker (Post-apocalyptic Britain…lots of tea and existentialism), Israel Story (Israeli This American Life), Codebreaker (Is any technology ever evil?), and This Anthropological Life (Brandeis University Anth students like myself talking about our research)

Hope this list brought at least one person to something new <3 

The Strangest Security Tape I’ve Ever Seen

I work at a gas station in rural Pennsylvania. It’s a boring job, but it’s pretty easy and it pays all right. A few weeks ago, this new guy started; I’ll call him Jeremy.

Jeremy is weird. He’s about 25 or 26, and he hardly speaks, but he’s got the creepiest laugh I’ve ever heard. My boss and I have both noticed this, but it’s never been a problem, so there’s not much we can do about it. Customers have never complained about him, and he’s always done his job fairly well. Up until a few weeks ago, anyway—that’s when things started going missing. Employee theft can be a problem at any business that sells consumer goods, and there’s only one person working at a time at this gas station (it’s a pretty small place). About two weeks ago, my boss started noticing that we were short on motor oil. At first, it was a few containers at a time, then entire shelves and boxes from the back room. Pretty soon entire shipments would be gone the day after we got them, and it would always be right after Jeremy’s shifts. My boss has checked the security camera tapes from every single night he worked, but he could never catch him in the act. Jeremy would lock up at closing, then the motor oil would be gone the next day.

My boss usually takes the tapes home with him to try and catch Jeremy stealing, but his daughter had a softball game last night, so he asked me to watch the tape for him. He offered to pay me overtime, under-the-table, so obviously I took that offer. There are three cameras, so he gave me three different tapes to check. I figured it would be a long night, but I’m trying to save up for vacation, so I really needed the money. I took the tapes home, popped them in an old VCR and sat back.

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books i’ve read in 2017: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

“When you are done listening to all thirteen sides – because there are thirteen sides to every story – rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to whoever follows your little tale. And you, lucky number thirteen, you can take the tapes straight to hell. Depending on your religion, maybe I’ll see you there.”

I just reached the episode about Clay’s tape (finally, it was Tape 9 in the book I swear not Tape 11) and I have to stop the binge watch now because I am so drained, I think I’ve cried a river of tears. Just like when I read the book, I’ve never felt so sorry for someone as when Clay finds out he’s only there because Hannah needed him to hear her story; she needed him to know why. It wrecks me every time.

Originally posted by kiamkiamkiam

i had the spookiest fucking dream last night. and it was with fucking pokemon.

like okay me and my fam were at this motel late at night and i was going through this list of made-up ghost pokemon i wanted to catch. but i couldn’t see them. Anyway mum said what would happen if you threw a pokeball just anywhere in the room. so i did. i threw one in the kitchen. no movement. i threw one near the tv, no movement. but when i threw it right beside my grandma’s bed as she slept, the pokeball began to move and blink red light. Fucking spooked i waited to see if i caught it, waiting for it to rock 3 times. but just before the the third rock, it made the most teriffying sound, like a possessed undead pherodactyl. and suddenly it tried to get out. i jumped it trying to hold it shut but it was really fucking strong. i screamed at mum to get the duct tape and sealed it shut.

with it sealed we all went to sleep, but i woke up in the early morning like 5am (still in the dream) and saw my grandmas light on. i went to check if the pokeball was still sealed, but the tape was broken. confused i looked to grandma and she seemed to be chatting to something. When she noticed i was there she says in the calmest voice “oh have you met (insert fakemon name that i cant remember)?” feeling dreamsweat i ran to that list of ghost pokemon i had from before, and saw that the pokemon was a pokemon of death.

the last thing i saw before i woke was the very faint figure of what i thought was a big hooded bird skull and a glowing yellow eye with black drapes overhanging her, and that was it. the fuck was that. i still love ghost pokemon tho but jfc… had to go to kiss my grandma this morning bc damn. the fuck.