Tears of a Mother - Harry Styles
Hey guys, I’m back with yet another Harry Angsty story. This idea has been swirling around my head for a while and finally, I’m writing it down. I’m still stressed and going through a lot of anxiety and some depression. I really hope you enjoy and Thank you so much for Reading <3 Warnings: Angst, a few cuss words. [ Y/N = Your Name ]
Harry and I had been together for a while, three years, before the conversation of marriage was brought up. I didn’t ever think about it until Anne brought it up at a family get together. “You know Harry, you’re not getting any younger. When are you going to finally settle down, get married and give me some grand kids” she had said from the kitchen, probably smiling because I knew she couldn’t wait to spoil a grand baby. I wasn’t supposed to hear this conversation, but I was cleaning up and was headed that way to help with the dishes. “Mum, I’m in a serious relationship. Why ruin it with kids and marriage. You have another child that is capable of giving you a grandchild” Harry stated with a sigh, “Don’t bring me into this” Gemma shouted, which made me chuckle quietly. “I know you and Y/N are serious and we love her, but you two have been together for almost 4 years now. Eventually, she’s going to want to take things further. Most girls dream about that special day, being treated like a princess, marrying their true love” Anne then stated seriously, I loved Anne, but she had me all wrong. I didn’t care about marriage, sure it would be nice to have that title attached to our relationship, My Husband Harry. But, if it didn’t happen, as long as I had him, I was okay with what we currently had. Harry never resounded after that and as Anne was called into another room, she ended the conversation with “Just keep what I said in mind”. Two months later, I ended up pregnant with Our first son Mason. He was definitely a surprise to both harry and I, we had a bad fight over it. Terrified of being parents, but ended up fixing things and when the baby was born, that was the happiest day of our lives. Things weren’t easy, they never are with first time parents. Not much sleep, we both had attitudes, but looking down at Mason’s little face, made all the struggles worth it. When Mason was three months old, Anne wanted a night alone with her first grandson. So harry and I went out, after three months of parenthood. Beautiful restaurant, amazing food and the night ended with a proposal. I, of course, accepted, ready to spend the rest of my life with this man. Things weren’t always perfect in our relationship. but who had a perfect relationship? Harry went on tour for sometimes months, but we had facetime and made sure to talk multiple times a day. It was hard, but we were able to make it work. A year after, Gemma, Mason and I took a trip to visit Harry on tour. Where Ethan ended up being conceived. Again, he wasn’t planned, but he was very Welcomed. I now had two boys, that mirrored their father. Curly brown hair, green eyes. They didn’t look much like me though, but I was okay with that, having two mini Harry’s was enough. After they were put to bed for the night, Harry would tell me how much the boys reminded him of me. Like Ethan would smile at him and Harry saw my face, I didn’t see it though. My little family, that I loved with my whole heart, never did I think things would turn out the way they did.
Mason was now 3 and Ethan 1. Harry and I still were just engaged, but it was probably for the best, with how things were going. Harry had taken some time off from touring, wanting to spend time with the boys while they were still so young. And I was happy for that, but it would’ve been nice if he acknowledged me too. He had become distant towards me, only saying a few words to me throughout the day, unless we were fighting. Then insults were thrown from both sides, but we wanted to keep that away from the kids, so we didn’t fight that often. Harry started ignoring me and to make things worse, now Ethan and Mason were becoming distant towards me as well, only ever wanting their father. Crying when they were left with me for only an hour, but my paranoia started after that. Was I a bad mom, was I hurting them without knowing, the answer was no. Then I started to wonder, what was he putting into their heads, why did they hate me so much? Depression kicked in after my boys decided they wanted nothing to do with me, let’s ignore mommy again today. I stopped wearing my engagement ring too, because clearly we were never getting married. I wouldn’t be surprised if he kicked me out of the house and served me with custody papers, for full custody. I started sleeping on the office couch, Harry didn’t care. Never came looking for me, never asked why I don’t sleep in the bedroom anymore. Late at night when I couldn’t sleep, I started to regret ever getting into this relationship. I didn’t regret having the boys, I loved them, but I left everything behind to move to London for Harry, only after dating him for a year, but that was my mistake. I shouldn’t be treated like garbage though, was I? It was too late to turn back now.
Wednesday evening, Gemma had taken the boys out for dinned and a visit. That left Harry and I alone for once, so I decided that I’d give whatever relationship we had left, one last chance. I cooked us a nice dinner, made myself somewhat presentable. Harry had been locked up in the office since she picked up the boys. So when dinner was ready, I stood outside the door thinking of what I was going to say. It’s sad honestly, too nervous to talk to my own boyfriend. I sighed as I knocked quietly on the door, signaling that I was coming in. “Hey… I made dinner, um I thought maybe we could spend sometime together while the boys are with Gem…” I stated nervously, “Okay, I’ll be down in a while” he stated nonchalantly. I sighed “Harry”, he sent me a slight glare “What Y/N? I said I’ll be down in a little while”. “Yeah right” I muttered turning to leave the room, “I’m just trying to finish something while I have some piece and quiet” he spat slightly. “Well, I’m sorry. I thought my boyfriend and I could spend sometime together, since he’s been ignoring me for moths, but Never mind” I exclaimed loudly before slamming the door behind me, stomping downstairs. “Fuck this…” I muttered grabbing the plates full of food from off the table, dumping the food into the garbage and basically chucking the plates into the sink. “Want peace and quiet Harry, good luck with that now” I continued to mutter under my breath, all the food I had prepared, all in the garbage now. But, that was the least of my problems. Finally, I broke down, letting the tears that I had kept in for months, out. I continued to throw things around in the kitchen, because honestly, I couldn’t care less anymore. Harry stomped downstairs, groaning loudly. “Alright, I’m here. Stop making so much noise, you’re doing my head in” Harry stated with a slight eye roll, but my back was turned, so I didn’t catch it ( Or did I? ). “Just forget it now, fucking forget it” I spat, turning around and storming past him. “I don’t want to force you into doing anything you clearly don’t want to do” I shouted making my way upstairs and into the bathroom, at first I didn’t expect him to follow. I mean why would he suddenly care what my problem was, but I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs after me. “What the fuck are you on about?” Harry asked me from the doorway of the bathroom, where I was currently scrubbing the makeup and tears off my face. I didn’t respond to his question, only making him groan deeply “What’s wrong with you!?”. “I’m just tired of you ignoring me, not giving a shit about me anymore!” I spat while glaring at him, but also still crying. “Oh my god, here we go again with this shit” he sighed while shaking his head, “Your only mad because I’m too busy to coddle you, well what did you expect. You decided to get pregnant and now your mad that you’re not my number one anymore. You’re not my first priority, maybe you never were”. “I don’t care about being your number one pri-fucking-ority Harry, but that doesn’t mean you have to treat me as if I’m invisible. You shouldn’t push me directly out of the picture, you shouldn’t tell me your making plans for us and then ignore me when I ask you about what’s going on. If you wanted to break up, you should’ve just told me, I would’ve understood. But, you never should have treated me the way you have, you shouldn’t be trying to make my kids hate me” I shouted at him. “Here comes the paranoia” he mocked, “It’s not paranoia, it’s the truth! Anytime I want to wake them up in the morning and get them ready for the day, you’ve already done it. When I want to do bath time, you say they don’t need it. I want to take them out, but you already have plans for the three of you, not including me though. It’s like I’m nothing anymore! You’ve been keeping things from me, probably so when we go to custody court, you have all this evidence against me, that I’m not doing anything for them and that they hate me” I exclaimed tears pouring now, as I was trying to conceal my sobs. I held all of this in for so long, it was only a matter of time before it all came out. “Maybe you are right, maybe they do hate you. But, it’s not because of anything I’ve done. Remember when Ethan was born, you became depressed. I remember the doctor telling us that that was a possibility after you deliver, but I figured that since you were fine after Mason was born, you’d be fine after Ethan. But, you became so disconnected from everything, the boys and I. You were around, but not present in the moment. Maybe that’s why they hate you, because you missed 7 months of their lives because you were being selfish. You missed almost all of Ethan’s life, maybe they hate you because you’ve been a horrible mother” he spat out like venom, I couldn’t believe the an I was still so deeply in love with, was saying these things. “I wasn’t being selfish” I sobbed quietly, he chuckled with anger “No, you were insecure about how you looked after, well you never had a perfect body before to begin with. So, yeah. I’d say you were pretty Selfish”. I just stared at him, lost for words. Saving this relationship was no longer worth it for me, not after all these unnecessary things he’s been yelling at me. I pushed past him, out of the bathroom. “Run away, like you know how to do so well. Maybe it would be best if you left and never came back!” he then stated seriously, topping it off. I slipped my shoes on, grabbed my purse before wiping my eyes once more, because the tears were still falling. “Fine, I’ll leave and you can be that perfect father that everyone already thinks you are! You can do it all on your own, or until you find someone to take my place in the boys lives. If you haven’t already” I sobbed as I rushed downstairs, I had to get out of this house, because it no longer felt like home. I think once I ran downstairs, that’s when it hit him just how far he took it. “Wait…” he yelled as he rushed down the stairs after me, I ignored him because this is what he wanted.
Once I made it outside, I noticed that Gemma had already pulled up, parked and was now pulling Ethan out of his car seat. He smiled at me, or at least I thought it was for me, but Harry was hot on my tail. So, Ethan’s smile was not for me, it was for his father and that only made me cry harder. “Hey, I was just bringing them in…. What’s wrong?” Gemma asked, but all could do is shake my head and jump into my car. She could clearly tell that something was wrong, because of the worried and confused look on her face. I locked the car door and put the key in the ignition, quickly. “Y/N!” Harry shouted from outside the passenger window, attempting to open the door, only to find that it was locked. I threw the car in reverse, leaving the drive way fast, not looking back. I called my mom, via Bluetooth. She didn’t answer the first time, but after a few missed calls, she finally answered. “Hunny, what’s wrong?” she asked knowing that something was wrong right off the bat, “ Harry… He and I” I sobbed hard, “Sweetheart, calm down. Where are you? Are you safe?” she asked, trying not to upset me anymore than I already was. Before I could answer though, I made a right turn, not realizing I had just cut off someone else off. Causing them to rear end me hard, causing me to lose control of the car and fly off the road. Smashing my hear onto the dashboard because I had forgotten to put on my seat belt. I could hear my mom shouting the entire time, she could tell what was going on, she could hear the collision and my yelling. The last thing I saw before everything went black, was the two curly haired little boys that now, might have to grow up without a mother.
Hey guys, I just quickly wanted to make an authors note. I want everyone to know that I do not body shame, I myself am out of shape, no lie, I love food and hate working out. I think everyone is beautiful no matter what they look like, I’m honestly like a peace, love and chill type of person. Like why is there so much hate in this world, I’ll never know. I’m sure Harry’s not a dick, I wrote it all for the Angst. I really hope you enjoyed and Thank you all so much for reading. Don’t forget, you’re all beautiful. Lot’s of Love, Katie <3<3