stories of adventures

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Stingray feeding, Maldives

Comic N-044 “Roswell’s that ends well”

It’s okay if you haven’t listened to the DnD podcast The Adventure Zone yet, but you’re doing yourself a disservice, if you don’t check out @nedhugar ‘s gorgeous Roswell design.

[Ommissions info here]

MYSTERY STORY TIME

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

UPDATE:

lots of people have been asking me if I ever figured out where the kiwi came from. So to provide an update on the magical kiwi … one day I took a nap and had a dream about those creepy spiders that hide in bananas and I thought like oh my god this kiwi is gonna be full of spiders. So I woke up and promptly put the kiwi in a ziploc bag. To contain the dream spiders.

The kiwi sat on the counter for a few days, then got moved to the top of the fridge to get it out of the way. It sat there for a couple weeks. It never appeared to go bad? I did eventually throw it out, just because I was confused about it and neither of us were ever going to eat the kiwi.

Never found out why the kiwi was in my kitchen. I guess we’ll never know.

UPDATE UPDATE:

Kiwiny is following me on twitter now.

I feel like I should post more funny teaching stories here

Because I definitely have them.

For example, I have come to learn over the course of holding this position that Japanese school culture festivals are, in many ways, just as filled with zany hijinks as they are in your average anime.

Some highlights from my recent experiences with the mysterious beast known as the culture festival:

-Class 1-B presented a statistical report on this season’s fishing hauls. Sounds boring, right? Nope - it was presented via interpretive dabbing, with all of the class officers in glow-in-the-dark squid masks

-3-A, for their presentation, composed and performed an enka ballad about why our town is NOT famous

-Not to be outdone, 3-C crafted a loving, emotional video tribute to their three years of junior high school…narrated by the disembodied head of former US president John F. Kennedy projected on the gymnasium wall

-2-B made a ping-pong table. Their presentation consisted of walking onstage, saying “We made a ping-pong table” and sitting down.

-Students were allowed to order special lunches from the set festival menu up to two weeks in advance. The vice-principal was meant to pass out notices explaining how many of each item students might order. He failed to do so. A student ordered 28 muffins. The faculty watched in horror as he ate every single one.

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Rugged landscape of Capri Island in the Bay of Naples, Italy

She was both an old soul and a free spirit. It was hard to understand her, but oh lord did you want to try.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #166

In a few “fan fiction” episodes, the show changes from the adventures of Finn and Jake to those of Fionna and Cake, where every character is a different gender. But it’s essentially just a cosmetic change. Every character retains their original personality, especially Fionna, who just like Finn is brave, strong, and a bit of a dork.

None of that went away when her balls migrated inwards because, and this is important, your genitals don’t have to dictate how you live your life. Except for Deathray-Dick Johnny but I like to think he’s the exception that proves the rule. Always in our hearts, Deathray-Dick.

Feminism started out as a fight for basic civil rights for women, then equal rights, and today, it’s essentially about the freedom of choice, and Fionna is the perfect example of that.

She wears dresses. When she wants. She doesn’t need a boyfriend now. But she’s open to the idea in the future. She kicks ass. But the show doesn’t call her a tomboy for that, nor does she make it a cornerstone of her whole personality. On its own, that wouldn’t mean all that much. But because Fionna exists solely as the female version of a male character, her non-stereotypical characterization becomes a powerful feminist message, namely: You do you, no matter what’s between your legs.

5 Fictional Characters That Should Be Studied In Schools

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Drone view of Mona Vale beach pool, a 30 meter pool right on the ocean that waves wash into, New South Wales, Australia

She’s the wanderlust girl,
always running from
one place to another,
partly because she loves
seeing the world,
but mostly because
no one has ever given her
a reason to stay.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 55
“Wandering”