The third floor is empty. Rarely does the trip to your office occur without running into at least one other inspector or office administrator or something of the like, but today the hallway remains deserted, like a canvas cheated out of its master’s touch. It’s empty and it’s quiet, and, apart from the voice reverberating from your phone, only the sound of your heels clicking on the linoleum floor keeps it from withering into a lonesome void.
“- with the store employees. I’ll interview the rest when they change shifts in an hour.”
The autopsy report is limp in your grasp. “I don’t suppose they witnessed anything of interest Thursday night?”
“No.” A rustle of fabric- a jacket sleeve, perhaps- and the voice of your youngest team member returns to the line. Even through the phone he sounds contemplative, as though he’s quietly reflecting on the question of the universe to himself. “The ones I’ve met so far haven’t seen anything strange. The exception being the landlord, and I’ve already told you what he had to say.”
“I see.” You pay no mind to the passing doors as you think back to what he had mentioned earlier. A suspicious man, wearing a baseball cap and mask. As far as hints go this one is about as useful as a candle in a rainstorm, but experience admonishes you, reminds you to keep a fair eye on it anyway. It’s only the first day on the case and yet somehow, you’re plagued by the unmistakable feeling that says you’ll be needing all the help you can get. “Alright, well, let me know what you find in the security tapes. Good work getting them, Jungkook.”
In lieu of an answer he hesitates, as if wanting to add something more, but abruptly ends the call before you can ask the obvious question.
dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
how do you even know who macklemore is?
i'm hip. i'm cool
don't you do it
i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
(five minutes later)
is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
how do you know?
i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
how the heck did he laser through concrete??
idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
ew dad gross no
i really relate to that apple store employee
we all do dad
oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
dad good god
he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
you know on second thought we should have brought mom
where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
“We both tried to grab at the last copy of that desired book at the same time and had a tug of war.” (from this post)
Sterek ficlet, T, ~1.6k words. Basically, I was going to just do a tiny little drabble as a warm-up for working on one of my WIPs, and then I was having too much fun with it to stop.
(Btw, if you couldn’t tell, I totally made up the book series in question. Any resemblance to any actual book is completely coincidental.)
It’s definitely some kind of torture that on the day the seventh and final Path of Wolves novel comes out, Stiles still has to go to school like it’s not the most important day of the year or anything.
And okay, so it’s not like anyone else in Beacon Hills has even heard of these books except Scott, and then only because Stiles can’t shut up about them, but still. Stiles spends the entire day practically vibrating out of his skin with the anticipation. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t taken in a word any of his teachers has said today. The only reason he doesn’t try to make a break for it during lunch is that he can’t afford another detention on his record, and even so, he’s still sorely, sorely tempted to risk it. In the end, he has to get Lydia to hide his car keys from him.
(He was going to ask Scott to do it, but Scott would have caved as soon as Stiles started begging, and Stiles is definitely not above begging, so Lydia it is.)
The instant the final bell rings, though, Stiles is out of there, flying across the parking lot and gunning the Jeep. The bookstore probably only ordered a few copies, and if Stiles isn’t holding one of them by the time he leaves, somebody’s about to get murdered.
Not that he actually expects any competition, but it’s better not to let these things go to chance. He already messed up once by procrastinating on pre-ordering until they were sold out; he didn’t think it was possible for a Path of Wolves novel to be sold out. He was wrong, and now he’s paying for it by having to physically go to the bookstore to get it.
Either Stiles vastly overestimated how many copies the store was going to order, or else he vastly underestimated how many people in Beacon Hills read these books, because when he skids to a stop in front of the New Releases shelf, there’s only one copy left. One beautiful, perfect hardcover copy.
Lucky for him, one copy is enough.
Except that when he grabs ahold of it, someone else does, too.
For a long second, Stiles can’t even believe what he’s seeing. Another hand, on his book. Another hand that’s not letting go, even though Stiles has already clearly and unambiguously grabbed it by the spine and isn’t letting go, either.
Stiles turns his head incredulously to get a look at this usurper, and it’s Derek Hale. As in, made-of-muscles, leather-wearing lacrosse captain Derek Hale.
Until this moment, Stiles wasn’t even sure Derek could read, and now he’s trying to steal Stiles’ obscure eight-hundred-page fantasy novel. What.
Touches everything, buys nothing. Accidentally flirts with all the cashiers.
Like a white knight, he's drawn to the outcasts. He says it's better because he'll be the only one wearing it. Well, there's a reason for that.
Goes to buy things for himself, leaves with bags full of presents for other people. Always asks for a discount.
A ritual shopper. Subconsciously goes to the same stores in the same order every time, like clockwork. Knows all the employees by name, and asks about their lives.
The hat store's biggest patron. Once had to be forcibly removed from the pet shop because it was half an hour past closing time and he just wouldn't leave.
He is the king, and the mall is his kingdom. He knows every store, every sale, every nook and cranny like the back of his hand. The cashiers all know ridiculous rumors about him, a la Regina George. Surprisingly frugal.
Spends so much time in the food court that the workers think he's a store employee playing hooky. Always tips the piano player.
How They Act When You’re On Your Period (Avengers Preference)
Sorry I haven’t been around lately guys!! I’m hoping to start being more active again! Hope you guys like this and it begins to make up for my months of inactivity! I’ve had this request for a while so I hope y’all like it!
He buys you everything you could want, and more. The first time you ask him to go to the store for you he comes back with every single piece of chocolate he could find at Duane Reade and about ten different boxes of pads and tampons. He also has a new heating pad and your favorite take out. When he’s done putting everything away (he insisted on doing it himself while you tried out the new heating pad), he lays next to you on the couch, pulling you close and kissing the top of your head. You thought he couldn’t get any more perfect until he finally ques up your favorite romcom without you having to say a word.
Steve is sort of embarrassed at first. Back in his day this kind of thing wasn’t exactly talked about, especially not with scrawny ol’ him. So the first time you ask him to go out and grab you a few things he turns so red, you swear you can see his chest flush beneath his white cotton t-shirt. After he stutters for a few seconds and tears start welling in your eyes because you are just way too hormonal right now, Steve runs out of your apartment only to return a few minutes later with your favorite chocolate, your exact brand of tampons/pads, your favorite movie, and a cute teddy bear wearing a captain america outfit. He lays with you for the rest of the day, holding you close and rubbing your stomach as he spoons you on the couch, all forgiven.
Bucky takes it in stride. Much like Steve, he wasn’t exactly used to talking about this kind of thing, but as soon as you tell him you need him he’s there to do whatever you ask. He makes you breakfast in bed. He runs to the store to get you chocolate. He even goes to the store to get you tampons/pads (making sure he has your preferred brand and type written down). When he takes a while to come back he tells you he had to ask for help from a store employee. And whenever he gets back he spends the rest of the day holding you in his lap as he holds a heating pad to your stomach and whispers how much he loves you into your ear.
He stutters a little in the beginning when you first bring it up. He’s used to this type of thing, but only from a doctor standpoint. He goes and gets you what you need, but he also asks you questions that you would normally only hear from your doctor, making you blush as much as he had earlier. After he agrees never to ask you those questions again, you both go to lay in his room as he brushes his hand through your hair and reads you your favorite book. You spend the rest of the day curled up in one of Bruce’s big knit sweaters, drifting in and out of sleep, with a cup of your favorite tea sitting on the bedside.
He invites you up to his little nest. He fills it with your favorite blankets from the Tower (he even gets rid of the old ratty one you hate for the few days you’re up there), and has a stash of your favorite chocolate. He makes sure everyone knows not to bother you for the next few days as you just laze around and curl up together. Clint spends the whole time reading you your favorite books and telling you stories about his more memorable missions. He just wants to make sure you’re comfortable because he knows how tough you are and if this is causing you pain it must be rough.
Pietro spends the few days running around town and getting you whatever you want. Chocolate, tampons/pads, your favorite take out, flowers, he even runs out and gets you that new shirt you’ve been eyeing in the H&M window for about a week now. By the time he’s done running around all you want is for him to come and cuddle with you in bed. And that’s exactly what he does, after running around the tower to grab your favorite blankets, junk food, and turn on your favorite movie. Pietro wants you to feel like a princess because that’s exactly what you are to him.
He is so sympathetic. He buries you in a mountain of blankets and curls up with you, holding you close. He let’s you wear his huge sweaters that smell just like him, and he even lets you use his cape like a blanket. He offers to go to the store for you, but you know exactly how that would turn out so instead you ask if he can just make it storm outside, letting you two have the perfect lazy day inside. As the thunder rolls outside the window and the rain patters against the roof, Thor rubs soothing circles on your back as he tells you stories of the nine realms and his adventures back in Asgard.
He is kind of confused at first. He asks if this ailment is something he can fix with magic but you vehemently tell him no, not wanting to risk whatever consequences may arise. Eventually Loki realizes all he can do is be there for you so that’s exactly what he does. He lounges around with you all day, making you tea and reciting poetry to you while you lay in bed. He offers to go to the store for you and you instantly regret it when he comes back with adult diapers (”the package looks the same!”). You can’t stay mad though when he holds up a bag of your favorite junk food and let’s you wear his cape for the rest of the day as you two pig out and watch your favorite cheesy romcoms.
Sam stays in bed with you all day long. He holds you close and gives you all the covers. He even blows off Steve when Steve comes around asking for a training partner. He wants to make sure you know that he’s there for you in your time of need and nothing is going to make him leave your side (unless of course you need him to go to the store for you). He’ll even run you a hot bath in the evening with your favorite candle lit on the counter and your favorite spotify playlist humming quietly in the background. The other guys on the team may call him whipped, but he knows how to treat the love of his life right.
He likes to joke around but when you give him that look he totally understands. He builds you a giant pillow fort in the living room and wraps you up in your favorite blanket, handing you a warm tea and piling up all of your favorite junk foods in the corner of the fort before turning on your favorite princess movie. He’ll hold you until you doze off before he sneaks out to the store to grab you what you need. He’s back before you wake up and holds you close the rest of the day, cracking jokes every so often. Before you doze off again, he tells you how thankful he is that you’re going to be around when Cassie goes through all this, but you reassure him that he would be fine.
He spends the few days you’re on your period treating you like a queen. He has servants attending to your every need, and you never even have to change out out of your pj’s. And while he may have to attend to a few meetings, he makes sure that he’s able to be with you as much as possible. When the meetings are over the phone he lets you sit in his office with him, setting you in his lap and rubbing his hands up and down your back. When he’s not busy with meetings or training, T’Challa spends the day in bed with you, holding you close and keeping you warm. He also brings you cute little gifts like flowers he picked himself from the jungle, beautiful jewelry made of the stones found in the Wakandan mines, and he even brings you a kitten to keep you company when he has to be away.
Hope y’all liked it!
Imagine and Preference requests are OPEN! (Still no ships)
“Even though I’m giving the store employees extra work cause the shirts will probably be back in their original place by the next day, I gotta get my obligatory retweets and likes for doing the absolute least~~”
Okay, so I’ve been doin this nonsense for about 8 years now and here are my 10 biggest tips for anyone else doing this sadistic hobby (This is a bit geared towards people who make costumes just FYI. I will post another more geared for beginners or those who buy later)
1) Remember Why You Do This.
Maybe you showed up to con and were 1 of 74 Jinx’s. Or maybe your costume wasn’t as accurate as someone else’s. Or maybe it feels like everyone else made theirs and you bought yours. So what? Did you have fun? Did you meet friends, and/or bond with the people you came with? Unless you’re in the contests, remember that it ISN’T a contest. And even the contests are meant to be fun. Alternatively, don’t let any elitist fans ruin your fun.
2) Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously.
Remember that being a cosplayer doesn’t make you ‘more’ of a fan than someone who doesn’t. Remember that you do this for your own enjoyment and that is all that matters. Spend as long or as little as you want on a costume, end a con with 20 silly selfies and some new friends, compliment that other cosplayer in the same outfit because you clearly both have something in common, don’t think of them as competition.
3) Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help.
Parents, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbors, craft store employees, theater teachers, art teachers, people online. There are tons of people who could offer help with even little things like what glue to use on foam that needs heatshaping(non-flammable x-treme elmers glue is nice) , what paint to use on leggings (apparently fabric paint stretches with it just fine), ask your grandma what stitch is best for rounded edges on cotton (idk), ask a JoAnn’s associate what thread to use. In my experience store associates are extremely helpful, even with things like a second opinion on matching colors.
4) Use Coupons.
Seriously. If you can, set up an email just for coupons. Going to Michaels for a 2 dollar little thing of paint? Use that coupon they emailed you and now it’s 75 cents and you have more money for other things like fancy fabric or idk food. Check if any stores have student or teacher or senior discounts if that’s applicable, then you’ll have a discount even without coupons. Especially good for big purchases. If you’re buying everything at once there is almost definitely some sort of 5 off of 30 type of coupon out there. If you are able, this is a good way to set up a savings for con or your next costume maybe, just look at the receipt, see how much you saved and set that much (or a part) aside for food/hotel/gas/merch.
5) Look at your Source.
No matter how well you know your character or your design do not go very long without looking at the source. Working on a wig? Have a picture in front of you the whole time. Maybe sketch out the different angles beforehand. Going fabric shopping? Stare at the original. If you print out a reference pic know that it may be slightly off. If you’re doing a costume where the color seems different in every shot (like Rey from Star Wars) then pick the one you like. If you can, consider coloring or painting a swatch of the color on an index card and bringing it with you to compare. Seriously. Keep checking the source when working. It’s equivalent to “measure twice cut once”.
6) Measure Twice Cut Once.
Even in crunch. I know, it’s stressful and scary and frustrating but you know what is more frustrating and scary and stressful? It being 8pm the night before the con and you just cut that last bit of fabric too small. Or your wig too short. Seriously. Just double check yourself.
7) Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.
Outdated meme but useful tip. If you’re getting anxious to a difficult level, or exhausted physically or mentally address it. Take a break. Take a nap. Eat a meal. Go for a walk. Watch an episode of that show you’re trying to cosplay. Play that game. Watch cosplay videos if you’re scared of losing motivation. Just don’t push yourself too hard or you risk messing up parts of your costume and more importantly, you risk hurting yourself. Don’t work until you accidentally stab yourself with a hot iron and have a panic attack. Would you rather spend 15 minutes playing with your cat or crying and bandaging yourself?
8) Use It.
Found some fabric you love for that SnK skirt thing, but it’s infused with glitter?Who cares, use it. Every cosplay you have seen of Red Hood has a lot of leather and cargo pants but you want skinny jeans and suede? Use it. The costume is for you. Make it how you want. To quote the great Hilary Duff “Why Not?” Also, go listen to that song if you need encouragement.
9) Enjoy The Whole Process.
Maybe it is redundant at this point but seriously. Have fun. Not just at the con, party, photoshoot, meetup etc. Have a wig styling party. You finished that jacket? Nice, wear it out shopping and be proud. Make a playlist for each character you work on or general motivational music. 8-tracks.com is great for this too. Test those seams/that hairgel/ those shoes/ flexibility by putting on your jam and dancing around. Send snapchats to your friends when you test your make up. Skype your aunt to show off that circle skirt. Put your hat on your dog.
10) Procrastination isn’t Great.
Probably don’t put off making your costume by making a list of tips for other people.
Yechiel visits Warsaw from his small Polish shtetl, and after three weeks returns to his village. after mincha/maariv one night, his friends gather around him and deluge him with questions about his trip.
“nu, what did you do, who did you see, what do you think?”
“well,” says Yechiel “I found Warsaw very strange. there I met a Jew who came from a fine Orthodox family, and a Jew who was a staunch atheist. I met a Jew who owned a large dry goods store with many employees, and I met a Jew who was an ardent communist.”
“so?” say the friends “Warsaw is very large, and all kinds of Jews live there. nothing strange about that.”
“you don’t understand,” says Yechiel “it was all the same Jew.”
You do not know me, but I am a juvenile delinquent. I do not trust authority figures, I probably will not graduate from high school, and statistics say my present rowdiness and vandalism will likely lead to more serious crimes. I am a dangerous fellow, and I am causing mayhem in this store
(rearranges a grocery shelf)
There. I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid store employees. If you could see me, you would be frightened.
I just wanted to give Emma a break from her batshit-crazy life and a chance to cuddle on the couch with her husband, but I ended up giving her a cold with a side of angst.
Takes place shortly after the Final Battle.
She’s sick within a week.
Truly nothing serious, but thoroughly miserable
nevertheless; she’s put her body and her nerves through too much lately, and
now she’s paying the price. Naturally, Killian acts as though she’s dying and
given the events of the past few months, she tries to be sensitive about it. He
does come from a world where a fever and a sore throat very well could have been
the beginning of the end. And, of course, there’s the fact that she very
clearly did die (or at least came
close to it) right in front of his eyes not even ten days ago.
In a way, it’s a relief. She can’t even think of the last
time that she’s been free of gut-sickening adrenaline long enough for her body to
succumb to simple illness.
It’s a relief to feel run down and beat up when the cause isn’t
some malevolent magical force trying to wrench her away from the people she loves. She’ll take this any day when it means getting to wake up to her
husband who still looks at her like she’s the most beautiful goddamn thing he’s
ever laid eyes on despite the fact that her eyes are swollen and she can only
breathe through her mouth.
- the ‘idgaf pay me’ cashier
- looks like he belongs in a satanic ritual
- always has headphones in
- doesn’t care to ask the shoppers if they find everything okay
- double bags
- hides whenever someone asks for help
- gets flirted to or recorded by random customers
- doesn’t interact with his co-workers
- makes sure his cats are okay with his 24 security camera monitor app on his phone
- the shy baker boy
- always smells like cinnamon
- smiles sheepishly as he asks customers what they want
- can bake his butt off
- laughs at compliments
- always wearing hats even though it isn’t required
- sits to himself in the break room
- has sales every holiday
- the sophisticated coffee maker
- looks like a college student
- probably in college
- makes coffee exactly how customers want
- lowkey talks about everyone in the store
- drinks iced coffee on his break
- asks if the customers are doing well
- tries to not be awkward
- receives big tips
- is fake to his co-workers
- the weird bag boy
- you’d often catch him staring at model magazines with bikini girls
- always dabbing in the break room
- won’t stop harassing the customers as they receive their groceries with forcing them to 'do the dab’
- uses more expensive brands of his uniform to 'touch it up’
- actually goes overboard with dressing up
- always getting trouble for playing Migos on the speakers as the store music
- has a private dance session in empty aisles
- the fluffy craft shop worker
- offers free pints of paint every Sunday
- greets every customer with a bright 'hello!’
- craft store looks like a 5th grade painting class
- makes every customer feel joyful
- cracks jokes with customers that has them laughing
- always happy even to rude people
- gets in trouble for giving kids free art supplies
- requests school half off sales for students since he cares
- actually puts effort into his job and loves it
- the fitness store owner
- always at work even when he doesn’t need to be
- even has an organic section in the back
- pays employees a lot more than expected
- motivates customers with a free bag of organic green tea
- ends up becoming friends with the customers
- flirts with the cute girls he sees
- flirts with the cute boys
- “have a good day and stay healthy or don’t come back!!!”
- always hyper
- the music store employee
- gets in trouble for terribly playing the drums and singing in the microphones
- impresses customers with his amazing dancing skills
- gets a lot of tips
- always told to reach the higher items
- ends up with about 10 girl’s numbers
- gets shy and turns into jello when he receives compliments
- is caught being weird