-douche with green tea
-eat an entire jar of coconut oil everyday
-cut gluten,eggs,dairy,MSGs, meats, oxygen, and sugar out of your diet
-never stop doing yoga, you have to do it every second of your life. Sleep in downward dog, shower in warrior position, walk on your hands
-shove kale up your ass
And last, but not least
- just be happy all the time. You know, the only real disability in life is a bad attitude
Imagine baking cupcakes and having pocketsized Jungkook stealing a few ones without you noticing him. You end up tailing him to see what he’s up to and you find him sitting on that barbie dinning room cutting the cupcakes like cakes and flirting with your old barbies. “ My name is international playboy *blows kisses* Barbie, please eat something!!! Come on stop dieting !!!!! It’s really yummy *thumbs up* ” He’d chew slowly on that piece of the cupcake while trying to convince those inanimate dolls to eat something cause’ he wants to share his little happiness with everyone.
11 Things Everyone Dealing With BDD Should Say (But Can’t).
1. “I’m sorry that I’m constantly focused on my appearance; I don’t mean to irritate anybody. But I can’t stop.”
2. “When I rant about how shitty I look, it’s not to get sympathy, and it’s definitely not to make anybody else feel worse about themselves. It’s actually just how I see myself, every day - And sometimes I just get sick of it.”
3. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. It doesn’t help.”
4. “Don’t tell me I’m being ‘superficial’, ‘trivial’, or ‘obsessive’. I’m already fully fucking aware - trust me.”
5. “I’m sorry I can’t stop fixating on diets, or surgery, or whatever fucking fix I think I need. Again, I’m fully aware that I’m as obsessive as hell.”
6. “I don’t mean to give off the impression that looks are all that matter. They’re not. I know they’re not, but it feels like they are.”
7. “The only person I’m judging by these insane standards is myself.”
8. “Every time I’m in public, I can tell people are staring at me. I know they might not be, I know they probably couldn’t care less about a random passer-by like me, but I can tell they’re staring at me.”
9. “I hate myself every time I look in the mirror - and not knowing if what I’m seeing is ‘real’, an ‘exaggeration’, or ‘not as bad as I think it is’, only makes me feel worse.”
10. “I’m sorry if you’re feeling fed up with me. I’m pretty damn fed up with me too.”
11. “I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to be more than this.”
The radical part is not that I stopped dieting; it’s that I stopped trying to fix myself. I stopped fighting with myself, stopped blaming myself, my mother, my latest boyfriend or my weight. And since diets were my most flagrant attempts at fixing myself, I stopped them as well.
1. Please do not lie when giving the history on your pet. I’m trying to help. But I can’t do that without all the facts.
2. Your hell spawn cat should not be called Precious, or Angel, or Sweetie.
3. There is a combined 90+ years of veterinary knowledge and experience between our four doctors. Your ten years as a breeder doesn’t impress me.
4. I’m trying really hard to not roll my eyes right now.
5. I’m muzzling your dog for safety reasons. My safety, the doctor’s safety, your safety. I’m not doing it just to be mean.
6. Stop adopting/rescuing pets if you have no money.
7. Your cat cannot survive on a vegan diet.
8. Stop googling your pet’s symptoms. It just scares and confuses you and makes our job harder.
9. Be nice to our receptionists. They have a job to do and you yelling at them doesn’t make them want to help you.
10. How much money do you think I make?
11. Stop interrupting me while I’m discharging your pet. Information might not get passed along. Information you probably need. Wait until I’m done to ask questions.
12. Yes they are real doctors. They went to school and everything.
13. I’m doing this because I like animals. Not because I couldn’t get into a “real” nursing school.
14. Your screaming toddler makes it really difficult to have a meaningful exam. I’m also fighting the urge to give them a shot of ketamine.
15. It’s Bordetella. Not bordello.
16. I’m trying very hard to hide my excitement over your cat’s huge abscess.
17. No, you can’t “help” hold.
18. Sorry I smell weird.
19. We all have clients we don’t like.
20. I believe in the benefits of holistic medicine. I do not however think that sprinkling ground tumeric on your pet will cure their cancer.
21. We don’t recommend heartworm prevention just to make money. If we wanted to make money we would tell you that you didn’t need it.
22. An emergency takes priority over your routine exam and vaccines. Sorry for the inconvenience.
23. Saying thank you goes a long way.
24. Yes, I really do need to know the name of the medication.
25. Your pug is sweet. Until we try to trim his nails. Then he turns into a demon possessed monster that we desperately hope doesn’t die from breathing issues while four of us attempt to restrain him.
26. We hate when you come in ten minutes before closing on Friday for an emergency that has been going on for several days.
27. Puppies and kittens make our day.
28. We really do love our clients.
29. But, we love their pets more.
this year has been a year of amazing spiritual growth for me and i feel deeply grateful and happy. I changed my lifestyle switching to a healthier diet, i stopped wearing bras, i started gaining my own money, i got my first tattoo, and i recently stopped wearing makeup. I’ve never felt this fulfilled and free before. However, while my soul started this journey of self love and happiness, the external world has been a complete mess, but i believe that, as my favorite poet wrote, to be restored, our sickness must grow worse. I know for a fact that things will get better for every living being on this planet.So, after this completely unrequired commentary about 2016, i wish everyone a beautiful, happy, and successful 2017. I love every single one of you.