stop-blaming-the-victim

Haven Craft’s Tips for Beginner Witches, Part One

Tips for Beginner Witches

Let’s start with this – I am not the witch Pope. I cannot speak for the witchcraft community as a whole; only for my own tradition.

5 Things I Believe Beginner Witches Should Ask Themselves

Note that the answers to these things will change, but that a firm grasp of the answers at any point in your practice may be helpful to you. I recommend actually writing your answers down, and every now and again check back and see if your stance has shifted.

1. Is magick real?

If yes, then what do you mean when you say, “Magick is real”. (Do you mean that you can effect reality with your will, intent, and energy? Do you mean like, Harry Potter real? What will disappoint you to realize might not be probable? What will inspire you to realize you can accomplish?)

2. Where are your lines? (What do you firmly believe is true/false, right/wrong? Violence, doing harm, controlling others, etc. Would you punch someone if they threatened a friend? Would you curse someone if they threatened a friend? What would you do, if your coven head told you it was right but you felt it was wrong?)

3. What are you looking for in a magickal path? (Pro Tip – no one has all the answers and there is no one right way.)

4. What are you prepared to do in order to accomplish your goals? (How many spoons do you have to give this practice? Can you devote one night a week, are you going to randomly pick stuff up on Tumblr, are you going to leave society to pursue your studies under a waterfall, etc.)


I recommend that no one make any oaths or vows in their first year of practice. Get to know yourself, how you feel about magick, and what you actually want to do before you do any big commitments. (Historic anecdote – this is what the original year and a day was for.) More strident, but still personal, recommendation: if someone tries to get you to oath to them within your first week of being a witch, run.


Things People Should Tell Beginner Witches, But Often Don’t

1. Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

2. Don’t throw good energy after bad by continuing to do something that isn’t right for you.

3. Don’t be afraid to continue your education, even if that means learning something that was right for you before is no longer right for you.

4. There is no one right way to do this. There is no Witch Pope - there is no dogmatic enforcement of the path to being a witch.

5. There are absolutely as many assholes in Paganism and witchcraft as there are anywhere else. Don’t think that these people are all spiritually enlightened beings who mean you well and who will give good advice.

6. Yahoo Answers is not your friend. You have the internet – which has access to both all of human information and all of human misinformation. Look for credible sources. Anything that seems too easy or too good to be true probably is. Work on critical thinking.

7. Try Scholar.Google.Com over “this article says so on Patheos.com.” Seriously, recently an article on there claimed Friday the 13th was a sacred holiday in goddess centered pre-Christian Paganism before the patriarchy ruined it. There is no historical validation for that, but a bunch of witches reblogged it. (Things you learn from scholarly sources rather than the latest poorly edited Llewellyn mess: the Burning Times didn’t happen, different kinds of Pagans warred amongst themselves long before Christianity came onto the scene, there was no great unified Pagan religion before Christianity, and Gerald Gardner was probably lying about almost everything he said.)


You Should Probably Learn the Difference Between Paganism, Wicca, and Witchcraft

What is Paganism?

Pagan is an umbrella term for a member of a religious, spiritual, or cultural community, other than those of the main world religions, so:

Non-Abrahamic – it is not Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, or Mormon

Non-Eastern – it is not Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Sufism, or Sikhism

Theistic – The belief in some kind of divine power, which is sometimes polytheistic (a belief in more than one god), but not always

Some Pagans practice witchcraft – others do not.

This definition isn’t quite right, though it’s in hugely common usage, because there are Abrahamic and Eastern persons who consider themselves Pagan. Keep in mind that there will be exceptions to this definition and that those exceptions are valid.

There are also secular Pagans, so it isn’t even always Theistic. I know – it’s complicated. Though this is the largely accepted Academic definition, it doesn’t really work when applied to the real world, if you’re considering someone saying, “I’m Pagan” as a self-identifying definition, which I do. 

Wicca

Wicca is a religion. Most people consider Wicca as falling under the Paganism umbrella, although not all Pagans are Wiccan. Not all Wiccans are witches, and not all witches are Wiccan.

Wiccan is generally defined as:

Dualistic – There is a God and a Goddess

Pacifistic – Wicca has a rede that requires Wiccan do no harm to themselves or others, though not all Wiccans (such as those who follow Doreen Valiente’s suggested guidelines) are Pacifistic, so there are definitely exceptions to this

Earth-based – Having a respect for and acknowledgment of the powers of the Earth

Witchcraft

The spiritual or secular art, craft, and/or practice of the witch, defined many ways by many different people.

A witch is a witch who says they are one.

Again, there is no witch Pope and no witchy excommunication because you define yourself as a witch differently than someone else does.

Yes, male identifying and/or presenting persons can be witches.


Pagan and Witch Fallacies

There are certain ideas that most beginners in the witchcraft community will encounter over and over again. I’m going to run down some things – with the reminder, again, that I can only speak for my personal tradition.

1. “You should remove all negative influences from your life! You should purge all negative feelings! Be positive all the time!” Not everything that is negative is bad. Not everything negative can be avoided – we can’t all just quit our jobs and live in a witch shack in the mountains. We have to endure negative things, both because it is healthier to experience the full range of human emotion rather than to ignore a large chunk of it, and because it isn’t possible. What we should do is stop victim blaming witches who are going through hard times and stop telling witches they can’t be angry when they encounter something that should be angering.

2. “But, tradition!” Just because an affluent white guy in the 1400-1600s said something, doesn’t mean you should do it. We don’t follow their medicinal advice anymore; we don’t have to follow their magickal advice either. Seriously, I don’t care if tradition says a trans woman shouldn’t be in a sky clad ritual – that’s bullshit. We don’t put leeches on our bodies anymore – let’s leave the past nonsense where it belongs.

3. “We have to make sure everyone feels included and welcome!” Not if they abuse the welcome of others, we do not. The problem with making some people feel included and welcome is that you make their victims feel excluded and unwelcome because you’ve made them unsafe.

4. “We have to support each other and love each other and be a positive force in people’s lives.” Okay, yes, in small doses, this is a great aim. It doesn’t work for everyone (some witches are spite and malice fueled and they are still witches), but okay, it’s a nice idea. Until it becomes ableist or demands free emotional labor from people, which it often does.

5. “We have to educate them!” Okay, it’s great that there is this effort in the community to educate others. But if you don’t have the spoons or if it seems like they’re using the demand for their own education as a way to still have access to a community they are abusing, then no, you have no obligation to put their education over your well being. None. They have access to Google (even if they have to go to a library to use it.)

6. “You have to earn your right to be a witch.” No, no you don’t. Seriously, though, from whom? Dusty white men in graves? A Llewellyn author who couldn’t fact check themselves out of a paper bag? Again – no witch Pope. I’m just gonna keep pointing out the lack of a witch Pope until people get it.

7. “You have to be ________ rank, degree, etc. to have an opinion on this topic.” Yeah, okay, I’ll be sure to wave my certificate in your face before having an opinion on my own tradition. No. Your opinion may be an uneducated one and you may be corrected for it, but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t have the right to it before you completed your O levels at Hogwarts.

8. As a corollary to above, “This is just my opinion and you can’t be mad at me for it!” People absolutely have a right to their opinions. And everyone else the right to decide those opinions make them an asshole.

9. “I’m super special and powerful because xyz, which means I get to tell you what to do.” People only get to tell you what to do if you let them. Sometimes, that’s an exchange we willingly make, but other times, people will feel they have the right to tell you what to do because they are a hereditary witch or because they’ve been practicing longer. Just remember – their position doesn’t trump your humanity and you don’t have to kiss the feet of someone who kicks you.

10. “The person really wants _____ from you, and you should help them on their path. Helping them on their path helps you on yours!” Just because someone wants something from you, doesn’t mean they get it. Being a witch doesn’t take away your right to say no.  


Please remember that you don’t have to earn your right to be here. This one is tricky on some level – to be the respected person in your community, you need to put in your time. However, in order to be part of a group you don’t need to give the High Priest a blow job (seriously, run).

You don’t have to earn admission to witchcraft, but you do have to earn specific positions and other people’s trust. If you teach people not to trust you through your actions, they won’t trust you.

Gaslighting

“Why did you stay?”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

These are the questions that are fired at a survivor of gaslighting.

So what is gaslighting?

It is one of the most manipulative form of emotional abuse. It is when the victim blames themselves and has lost the faith in their own abilities. It is when you start to question your own ability to make decisions or even think. It is when someone that you are emotionally attached to becomes the person who causes you immense distress and pain.

The victims stay because they genuinely believe that they may be the cause for the distress. They stay because when it comes to someone you trust, it isn’t someone who you’d give up on that easily. They stay longer than they should because it is painful to watch someone that you love and care about (in any form be it friendship, relationship or otherwise) turn into someone that you hate. They stay out of genuine concern for the abuser’s well being.

As for why they don’t leave, it’s because they believe that they wouldn’t be able to make it without their abuser. To put it dramatically, they think that they wouldn’t be able to live without them. They believe (as they have been made to) that they are incapable of doing anything without the abuser.
Sometimes, they don’t leave out of fear of the abuser spreading false information about them or maybe because he/she has threatened to reveal the victim’s weaknesses.

They don’t tell anyone the full extent of damage being inflicted because isn’t it a human tendency to protect the people that you care about? Regardless of the type of behavior, when it comes to someone you trust, you’d tend to be protective of them and wouldn’t want anything that you say to hurt them.
So they don’t tell anyone about this sick form of demagoguery fearing whether they would even be believed or whether they would in turn be questioned about their willingness to submit to the oppressor’s wishes.

How did you let it get so bad?

What people don’t seem to understand is that the changes are so subtly done and the manipulation is so carefully implemented that the victims don’t even know what they’re falling into.
These are people you trust so at first they believe that maybe they have some hidden agenda which would lead to the betterment of themselves when in reality they are falling face flat into an emotional trap.

Then, the victims start questioning the very facts that have been presented to them because the oppressor would have made slight changes to the version of the truth which in turn would result everything being the fault of the victim.

They cut off the attachment with them only when it reaches a point where they have been hurt so badly or the abuser does something so morally wrong that no amount of excuses could pardon their behavior and they run out of instances to defend the manipulator.

This isn’t something that the survivor can “move on” from or just “get over”. It takes time to heal the wounds that have been cast on their minds.
They have been through a mental trauma, an emotional rollercoaster and a psychological assault on their very mind and these aren’t the type of scars that can be healed very soon.

It is a battle with themselves and their mind that follows in their path to recovery.

It is enough to drive anyone to the point of insanity and requires and immense amount of grit and emotional strength on their part to overcome such an ordeal.

These abusers may actually be someone who may have cared for them, or someone who may have been dealing with their own issues in such negative way or just a manipulative piece of shit who cares only themselves and don’t give a damn about how their words and actions have destroyed someone that they may have claimed to care for.

The process of healing is slow and painful. There may or may not be any physical injuries but the degree of hurt that has been cast on their minds takes a different duration for different people depending on the extent of trauma, the support from genuine well-wishers and their own strength.

Lesson in reality

Hey guys, this is going to be a bit new for me because I’m taking a big step and going to be addressing something a little..sensitive.

This is in response to @australet789​‘s rather…riling anon:

Blanket punishment is nothing new.

More broadly, collateral consequences.

The idea that it is unfair to punish a group for the actions of a few individuals is something even I had come to support for the longest time. Even now, I still think it is unfair. But this world is broken. Reality, in a sense, has been unfair from the beginning. In these last few months, I’ve been slowly realizing that in this broken world, the whole concept of group punishment is something we need to learn to accept. Yes, I’m being bold in stating that but it’s something I’ve come to realize. 

At this point, people might put words into my mouth and say that I’m inadvertently justifying a lot of societal problems linked to bad rules or laws enforcers or even just societal concepts. That is not my point and I am not justifying any of that.

My point is that in response to what a lot of content creators have been going through, we need to stop victim-blaming the artist or the writer for choosing to stop what they’re doing and causing their fans to suffer (I’d go as far as to say…simply inconvenienced).

What that anon did in Austra’s post shouts all kinds of entitlement. 

-Legal users suffered because rules were implemented in order to combat piracy. I don’t blame the authority for trying to clean up the mess. 

-Teachers punish the class because one student mucked up. I don’t blame the teacher for trying to prevent other students from making the same mistake and to teach a lesson in consequences.

REMEMBER: Consequences are real. And fyi they tend to affect more people than the perpetrator would intend to or even consider. Just look at families with certain members who’ve committed crimes.

So why should anyone blame the content creator for stopping what they’re doing because they got tired of all the bad stuff that’s been happening to them? Shouldn’t we be blaming the people who mucked up in the first place?

TL;DR. Stop blaming the content creator for something they had every right to do just because the rest of you had to suffer the consequences for the actions of a few individuals (and in this case, the consequences were really inconveniences).

P.S. Consuming fan art and fanfiction isn’t even a right. It’s a privilege. You aren’t even being punished when they decide to stop making fan art or fanfiction. If anything, the artist punishes themselves.

Don’t spank you’re child. It creates likely creates emotional or psychological problems down the road. It does not even do what you want. It just creates a sneaky child who does not trust the person who does this to them.

New Teen Titans #31

This is the last issue of this arc, which is great, because then we can move on to Dick doing things other than being brainwashed. 

Dick doesn’t appear for the climatic fight where Raven is like ‘lol nope’ and wins the day and a bunch of reporters want interviews with the triumphant Titans, but following that is an epilogue, which provides us with some closure. 

It looks like an unusually dressed family ready to sit down for dinner tbh. 

Robin is about to take his leave, and he really hopes Batman hasn’t…watched the news and figured out where he’s been (80s Batdad is super strict, okay, Jason can’t patrol on school nights either, and Bruce is still mad Dick dropped out of college).

Dick Grayson kind of lives for calling Bruce out tbh. Anyway this is cute Dick and Jason stuff, pre-retcons for both of them (this arc is explicitly still canon in the 2000s with the later retcons just…influencing it a bit. Geoff Johns clearly didn’t read it though because Raven didn’t even meet Jason while not brainwashed, so she can suck an egg and stop victim blaming tbh). 

Little Wing - 1 

Much is made of how little Dick and Jason interacted and the quality of their interactions in canon, so this is a pretty simple counter. Just tracking Dick being an okay brother to Jason or holding affection for him. Will obviously see limited use after Jason’s death. This counter kind of opposes Dick Grayson: Only Child, but it’s specifically for Jason rather than the rest of the batkids as a whole, who aren’t quite as complicated by the various retcons that happened during the late 80s before Jason’s death. 

Your mileage may vary about how much this counts since Jason’s backstory retcon and Dick’s firing of Robin retcon having been applied yet, but as this story is quite explicitly Post-Crisis, those retcons don’t completely supersede the existence of this storyline (just like Nightwing: Year One doesn’t erase this story from being Post-Crisis canon). 

Dick asks his teammates for forgiveness for being a giant asshole while under the influence of Blood, because he’s a good guy at heart. Kory remains awesome and extremely protective of him and it’s very cute. 

Donna is basically ‘in hindsight, maybe you were a little angrier and meaner than usual’. It’s a bit of a backhanded compliment lmao. 

Cyborg tells it like it is. 

Donna is basically like ‘pls take it back dear god’ about being the Titans leader.

But Dick is like ‘finder’s keepers’ and then Kory is basically like ‘i have lived too long without his touch’ get it Kory, and runs off with him, literally. 

It pleases me immensely whenever she just picks him up and carries him off. 

Unfortunately, Dick hasn’t forgotten that Kory is a married lady now, and while Kory is like ‘so?’, Dick puts a bit more importance on it. 

…also Dick apparently thinks that she’s married to her brother and not Karras, I’m crolling Marv pls I can’t believe an editor didn’t pick that up. 

It matters to Dick that Kory married her brother, okay, he does not support incest. 

And that’s the end of that. For now.

That’s pretty sad that countries not as well known as America are more progressive in gender equality than us.

Finsbury Park Mosque Attack

A man has died and 10 people have been injured after a white man drove a van into worshippers near a north London mosque.

This was an act of TERRORISM, no he wasn’t just ‘mentally ill’.

We are so quick to class it as terrorism when it is perpetrated by a PoC, this is terrorism so let’s call it that.

Can we also stop celebrating this saying things like 'white British people were the real victims’, and stop the victim-blaming too?

You don’t necessarily need the heterosexual nuclear family marriage to feel settled down, and never feel lonely again. Don’t need to tone yourself down to attract “the right man.” Stop victim blaming yourself for “attracting dogs”. All men are dogs. The idea that you have to make yourself pure, virginal, and “modest” in order to attract a long-term relationship with the “right man” is a lie. It’s a lie. I’m telling you. You know what is the real answer? Radical vulnerability. Intimate platonic friendships. Surrounding yourself with soul sisters who won’t mind you discussing your traumas and childhood grievances, and supporting each other. Sharing poetry, art, novels. Dates in the cafe discussing self-growth and progression towards healing. Soul sisters who validate you, reminding you that your experiences and feelings are 100% important, accurate and correct. Buying you food and necessities when you’re too depressed to get out of bed, helping you fill out that CV and applying for jobs. Comforting you when the traumatic flashbacks come back and promising you everything is gonna be okay.

The idea of the “independent woman” may seem nice in theory, but it’s actually quite a very capitalist individualist western idea that does not apply to women, femmes and nb’s who actually need communal love. This concept is very real, valid and very important alternative to chasing male validation which is often very dangerous, and something I notice a lot of broken women do.

For real! Most people are just ill informed or have bigotry passed down typically though.

Stop nit-picking Villainous (A rant)

This show isn’t even a full show yet and people are already saying stupid shit to make it seem like it’s bad and problematic. Please fucking stop and DO YOUR RESEARCH. Please.


- Lemonteaflower is not a disgusting human being. First of all, saying “they worked on this show so it’s problematic” is so petty of you. They are a STORY BOARD ARTIST AND LINE WORK ARTIST. they have nothing to do with the actual content of the show, and saying its bad because of that is disregarding the actual wonderful creatives who worked hard on it.

Her old “problematic user name” was forcibly their URL by their past abuser. As said in the apology letter here http://lemonteaflower.tumblr.com/post/137574630576/hi-everyone-after-a-long-time-i-figured-id

Please stop blaming this victim for the actions of their abuser, if you do thats really shitty of you.


-Also she didn’t draw “child porn”, She explains she used to draw SHotacon without understanding what it really was or its intentions. A LONG TIME AGO. A long time ago means she has learned from her mistakes, which is also helped by the fact she removed all content of it and no longer uses the characters she drew porn of.  Not to mention Rebecca Sugar drew porn of Ed, Edd, And Eddy characters and all of you saw it as a joke instead of problematic :/ if youre going to see one thing as a joke because you like the content, and another thing as problematic then you’re a shitty SJW not going to lie.

- Dr.Flug and Blackhat aren’t an abusive relationship. All of the things Blackhat does is CARTOON VIOLENCE. The stepping on him, grabbing things out of his hands, these are original cartoon violence tropes. Not to mention, he’s a fucking villain he’s not going to be nice. A real example of abuse in a cartoon is Steven Universe, Jasper is legit manipulative and OBVIOUSLY hurts Lapis when she is grabbed.No one called that out as “problematic” and hell lots of people ship it. Saying the dynamic of Dr.Flug and Blackhat is abusive is like saying Tom and Jerry are abusive, or fucking Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd are.

If you don’t like the show, that’s fine. No one is forcing you to. But if you turn this into another “Clarence.” thing because you don’t want any show to compete with Steven Universe (Which I am a giant fan of so its not like I hate it.)
or you just don’t want other people to like because you don’t??? I’m sorry thats terrible of you, it’s immature.

Also I use Steven Universe as an example a lot because it’s the BIG show on cartoon network, which this “”“problematic””“ show is sort of in competition with. I have nothing against it, I love it a bunch but if you want to defend it when I can make many parallels to Villainous and what it’s being called out for, there’s a huge problem.

if you see callout posts, whether about shows OR about people. Please do your own research, do not be naive, think for yourself. Callout culture is super dangerous and you need to be aware most people will stretch the truth.

anyway peter quill reacting violently when he found out what happened to his mom isn’t the same as tony stark trying to kill an innocent person. ego chose to kill peter’s mother because he’s a disgusting piece of shit. he was 100% responsible and peter was 100% justified in kicking his ass. bucky had no control over his actions (and tony was completely aware of that) and if you don’t stop victim blaming him right now you’re going to catch these hands

also i know the bifem/hetfem discourse is over but if you blame bi/het women for being hurt in their relationships with men and say “you’re with a man, what did you expect?” you’re absolutely a gross and mean person
het women deserve to be treated well by men. bi women who date men deserve to be treated well by men. their attraction to men is not to blame for how men treat them.
stop victim blaming and trying to pass it off as being radical

One thing I DIDN”T like about avatar last airbender

Zuko is assumed to  be 100% responsible for his decision to go back to the fire nation with azula, and we are told that he is choosing evil because he hasn’t yet learned right from wrong.  While this is good story telling because a hero needs to be defined by their choices, it ignores the fact Zuko is a victim of abuse.

Abuse victims are often tied down to their abusers, emotionally and practically.  They are often brainwashed to rely on their abuser for all their needs and to treat their abuser with undying loyalty.  We have to remember in real life, we cannot blame victims for their seemingly illogical loyalty.  Because its part of the pattern.  

OF COURSE zuko chose to go with azula in crossroads of destiny, not because he was evil or didn’t know right from wrong, but because he hadn’t been deprogrammed yet.

stop.  blaming.  abuse. victims. for. their. continual. victimization.

In Regards to Eric Soucy (Former Guitarist of Turnover) Abuse Allegations and Victim Shaming

First, I would like to say that I am creating this post not out of revenge or wanting Eric to get in even more shit.  Rather, for the sorrow I feel when reading the backlash and victim shaming that has been directed towards the young woman who bravely came forward with her experience. 

 
I, like several women, found myself in a messy, painful, mental mind fuck after getting involved with Soucy.  I am speaking up to show solidarity with the women who have been harmed by Soucy and other abusers.  Too many have been threatened and scared into silence.  


To those who are remaining silent: I understand and I am here for you but if we continue to be intimidated by abusers then nothing will change.  The cycle of abuse will continue and we will be in the same bullshit situation we have always been in.  There is strength in numbers.  


Some of Eric’s sympathizers seem grossly ignorant on the topic of emotional abuse, so please allow me to offer some guidance.


“Psychological abuse (also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse, or mental abuse) is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.[1][2][3] It is often associated with situations of power imbalance in abusive relationships including bullying, gaslighting and abuse in the workplace.” (Source: Wikipedia)


The reason this definition of emotional abuse can be applied to her experience is the following:
“that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.” and “including bullying, gaslighting and abuse in the workplace.”  

Soucy’s abusive behavior, which included gaslighting and deception, DEFINITELY caused her to feel anxiety and depression. 


I began seeing Eric, in a romantic manner, from about May of 2015 - December of 2016 (almost the same time frame as the young woman).  During this tumultuous period I was toyed with, fed lies and false promises—all to manipulate me. I tried to cut it off multiple times, however, I was unsuccessful. My friends and my family saw how negatively affected I was by the situation and had advised me to get out of it (so many times I lost count). They referred to his behavior as “emotional abuse”. 


Now, before you start rolling your eyes and saying “Why didn’t you just leave then!?” I would like to ask… Have you ever been in an unhealthy and mentally destabilizing relationship?  


If you have then you will understand the struggle to break free.  If you have not then you are a very fortunate person and maybe you should ask a friend who has been in a situation similar to this to understand how hard it is to just walk away. 


While romantically involved with Soucy I was told that he wanted to marry me, that I was the only one for him and that we would eventually be together.  These were false promises he would remind me of every time I tried to stop speaking to him. 


In a final attempt to keep me around, Eric claimed the reason he was so distant and unable to move forward with me was because a young woman had gone public about the alleged abuse she suffered from his actions.  This was in January of 2017.  I had not been aware of these screenshots prior to him bringing them up.  I then read through her statement and read the screenshots and it was ALARMINGLY similar to everything I had experienced with him.  He would pull the same “I am going to die alone.” “But I wanted to marry you and share my life with you.” crap every time I tried to cut it off.  I had told him on several occasions that the situation was causing me depression and mental unrest. I felt the pain of this woman and what she had gone through and is still going through. It was my own story of my experience seeing this man for almost two years. 


I want to state to all the women involved that I am SO SO SO sorry that you all had to go through this.  I am here for you, I stand with you and I will not back down or be intimidated by petty threats.  This situation is all too common.  Not just in the music scene but in general.

DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE A VICTIM.  YOU DO NOT NEED TO PLAY THIS ROLE.  

YOU CAN PLAY THE ROLE OF A STRONG ASS AMAZONIAN GODDESS WHO STANDS FOR NO ABUSE AND NO MANIPULATION.  

You just have to believe and know your worth and truth! 


I am sharing these screenshots so that you all can have proof that what this woman is saying is true and VALID.  Also, mind you, these were all from the time period in which the two of them were dating and or “official.”  I had no idea this was the case.  


In some of the screen shots I even question him about the photos of her, asking who she is because I KNEW he was involved with her.  I could feel it. 


NEVER DOUBT YOUR INTUITION LADIES!!!


Unfortunately, I do not have the conversations from the most recent cut off because I deleted all of our correspondence on my phone trying to forget about him and this situation.  For this I apologize, however, I was able to find some screenshots which I have supplied (see most recent posts) and should suffice.
I hope I helped you all see that this poor woman is not the only victim of Eric’s manipulation and abuse.  Please stop victim blaming and shaming, you are better than that and it doesn’t look good on you. 


This is supposed to be the generation that brings change, understanding, peace and love to the planet.  Act like it.

BREAK THE CYCLE.

Sincerely,
Another Woman Who Is Tired Of This Shit