stop that go away

aggression is a very unattractive trait there’s literally nothing more of a turn off than an aggressive man. they are boring and generally don’t like to use their brains very much but they’re also very entitled and this recipe basically makes them giant violent babies

why men think being aggressive will attract women I have no idea but they try to flirt with me by being aggressive sometimes and it is just like no stop go away you’re gross

so my advice is, don’t bother dealing with aggressive men if you can help it

they just throw tantrums over everything and make life boring and miserable

Happy Wednesday!!

HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER OF

JUST FRIENDS

AO3

FFN

Peeta leaned close to Katniss and started playing with her braid.

She moved her hair over her opposite shoulder. “Stop.”

He smiled and dropped his hand to her shoulder. “I should probably check in on the bakery.” He danced his fingers over her shoulder and tickled the back of her neck.

“Peeta, stop.” She moved away. “Go call your girlfriend and make sure the bakery isn’t burning down.”

He laughed. “Yeah, she may have done something after I rejected her.” He tickled the back of her neck again.

She batted at his hand. “It’s always the nice ones you have to look out for.”

He tickled her again.

She laughed and poked his side. “Get away from me.”

He stood up and stuck his hand quickly under her arm and then ran away as Katniss threw a napkin at him.

“You better be glad I don’t have my bow, you jerk.” She called after him.

4

“There is a certain someone… who seems ordinary. You may not be interested, but the person quietly spends the day alone. Certain people…just can’t talk about all of the old stories. So, they just live. There is a certain someone who wants to be an average person.”

I’d die for her. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know, I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill my self. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself

– Johnny Depp on Winona Ryder (1989)

If the captains worked for Urahara...


As requested by zarosspower. :)


Let’s pretend that each of the captains was forced to work for Urahara at his shop. Possibly because they lost a bet with someone. How would each of them do?


1. Ukitake: Has a habit of giving away the merchandise

Urahara: Uh, Ukitake? I’m going to need you to stop giving away free candy from my store!

Ukitake: But the kids are all so cute though!


2. Tosen: Is not fooled by Urahara’s front

Urahara: Whelp, here we are! At my simple candy shop!

Tosen: This is not a simple candy shop.

Urahara: Sure it is! Just look at all the harmless candy!

Tosen: I can see through facades to what lies within.

Tosen: And what I’m getting from this shop is….a whole lot of contraband?

Urahara: Ha ha, what?


3. Soi Fon: Keeps very detailed records

Urahara: Uh, Tessai? Why is Soi Fon in one of your kido boxes?

Tessai: Turns out she was keeping a detailed record of everything you did and said, boss. Hoping to get you arrested either by human authorities or by Soul Society.

Tessai: So I just mentioned to her that your only contraband is from Soul Society, so the human authorities have no laws about it, and Soul Society pretty much gives you a free pass.

Tessai: She was upset. Murderous words were uttered. I used kido.

Urahara: Wow, these records of hers are so detailed!

Urahara: Do you think she’d want to stay on full time?

Tessai: I think even now she is trying to murder you with her eyes.

Urahara: Hmmm. Maybe not, then.


4. Kenpachi: Just wants to fight

Urahara: Oh, good job in stacking up that inventory, Kenpachi!

Kenpachi: Thanks. Now let’s fight!

Urahara: A simple shopkeeper like me? Stand up to the Kenpachi? I’m flattered, but I just don’t think I’d be much of a challenge for you!

Kenpachi: I’ve seen that giant underground room of yours. What’s it for if not for fighting?

Urahara: Overflow merchandise?

Kenpachi: I’m suspicious.


5. Rose: Doesn’t do much work

Urahara: Uh, Rose? I thought I asked you to clean up these empty boxes?

Rose: And I will, don’t worry.

Rose: I’m just waiting for the proper dramatic moment.

Urahara: The proper dramatic moment….to stack boxes?

Rose: Yes.

Urahara: And the magazine you’re reading?

Rose: To pass the time while I wait for that proper dramatic moment.

Urahara:


6. Gin: Does all the work

Urahara:

Tessai: Something wrong, boss?

Urahara: Ichimaru sure is working hard.

Urahara: Very hard.

Urahara: Doing everything I ask, really.

Urahara: And he asks me bonding questions all the time, too.

Tessai: So he’s planning to kill you, then?

Urahara: I’m like 98% sure that’s the case.


7. Unohana: Somehow ends up in charge

Urahara: Um, Unohana? Are you rearranging my displays?

Unohana: Yes.

Unohana: I think this display should go behind that one.

Unohana: Don’t you agree?

Urahara:

Unohana: Urahara?

Urahara: O-oh, sorry! I got overawed and forget to say yes! Yes, whatever you think best!

Unohana: Strange man. 


8. Kyoraku: Is nowhere to be found

Urahara: N-Nanao? What are you doing here?

Nanao: Doing the work while my captain naps - as usual!

Urahara: I was WONDERING why that closet was snoring!


9. Shinji: Likes to greet customers

Urahara: Hey, Hirako, can you do me a favor?

Shinji: Sure, what?

Urahara: When customers come into the store, could you not greet them by floating upside down in the sky?

Urahara: Children have been crying. Parents screaming. It’s just creeping everybody out.

Shinji: Wait, it’s creepy when I float down to people from the sky?

Urahara: Um, yes?

Shinji: That explains so much.


10. Byakuya: Adds his own touches

Urahara: Uh…Kuchiki? What are you doing?

Byakuya: I am hanging promotional material so that this filthy shop can scrape together what it needs to survive.

Urahara: Promotional material for…Admiral Seaweed merchandise?

Urahara: But, uh, we don’t sell that here.

Byakuya: Not yet.


11. Kensei: Works very hard

Urahara: You sure are working hard, Muguruma!

Kensei: So?

Urahara: Cleaning, restocking, selling merchandise…

Kensei: That’s why I was hired, wasn’t it?

Urahara: In your cool frilly apron…

Kensei: Your shop is very dusty.

Urahara: Other than yelling at my kids to smile more, you’re the best employee ever!

Kensei: It’s called being enthusiastic!


12. Hitsugaya: Works very hard

Hitsugaya: W-wait a sec….all of you are just sitting around!

Hitsugaya: WHY AM I DOING LITERALLY ALL THE WORK IN THIS PLACE?!?

Urahara: It seemed to be making you happy!

Tessai: [nods]

Hitsugaya: …how does this always happen to me?


13. Komamura: Stays in the back

Komamura: I don’t understand why Urahara has me only work in the back room.

Komamura: I was so looking forward to meeting the children who frequent his shop.

Tessai: You are a giant talking wolf.

Komamura: Are we changing the subject?


14. Yamamoto: …

Urahara: Are you…polishing those windows with your beard?

Yamamoto: …

Yamamoto: …

Yamamoto: No?

Urahara: I’m just gonna walk away.


15. Aizen: Steals, mostly

Urahara: What’s in the bag, Aizen?

Aizen: What bag?

Urahara: The bag you just hid behind your back.

Aizen: It is nothing.

Urahara: …

Urahara: Are you stealing my inventions again?

Aizen: Why would I do that? I have plenty of inventions of my own.

Urahara: Give them back, Aizen.


16. Kurotsuchi: Tries to take over

Urahara: You built a lab.

Kurotsuchi: Yup.

Urahara: In my private underground chamber.

Kurotsuchi: Uh-huh.

Urahara: And you haven’t been answering ANY of the phones I planted on you.

Kurotsuchi: I had to electrocute myself a few times, but they eventually all stopped ringing.

Urahara: I sense that you’re not super happy about being my subordinate again.

Kurotsuchi:  Now why would you say that?

im-officially-a-pizza asked:

Okay, deo. Im very bad at reading and I get words mixed up, so every time you or someone said "Dragons breath", my brain would make it say "bad dragon". So I have to read it like, five times to make it go away... but now I cant stop laughing because of it. Send Help.

since she is evil doesnt that make her a Bad Dragon