stop nais

The Girl Who Pt. 1

Author’s note: Hey beautifuls!!! As promised, this is my new series for Teen Wolf 😁😁 Again, this is in honor for the final 10 episodes of Teen Wolf airing this Sunday (I’m not ready 😰😭😅) Happy Friday and Happy Reading 😘😘!!!


“Shhhh…It’s okay. You’re okay, you don’t have to be scared, you’re safe now,” Y/n says calmly to the curly-haired boy bunched in a ball in a semi-dark corner in the stuffy loft; the only light coming from the ray of sun piercing through the window opening. Y/n crouches down to the boy and immediately, he clings to her, leaving hot and wet stains on the red flannel she borrowed from her best friend.
“Is he okay?” a raspy voice cries.
“He’s fine. Get up, Isaac!” a dominant and rough voice commands.
Isaac tries to obey his Alpha but his body won’t respond, all he can do is clutch onto the gentle girl in front of him. “Are you alright? Y/n asks pulling away only to grab ahold his face. He doesn’t say anything; his glowing eyes bore into hers as they puddle with fright and embarrassment; the werewolf’s face heats her soft hands. She pulls him into her again rubbing his sweaty back soothingly as she continues bringing him back to reality.
He and Derek were battling, Derek was teaching him how to use anger to fuel his strength when his mind took him back to that bloody icebox, and he panicked and tried to run away. He almost made it out the loft until a sweet voice called his name causing him to back himself into the corner, knowing she’d follow and comfort him. He only has control whenever Y/n is around; little did she know that she was his safe place.
“Isaac,” Derek scolds, causing everyone to look at the Alpha, “You’re gonna get yourself killed if you can’t control those flashbacks.”
“I can’t help it,” Isaac whimpers, sniffling up the last few tears as he melts into the alleviating arms of the girl in front of him.
Y/f/n Y/l/n; the girl who chose to befriend kids a year younger than her because her age group, in her words, suck. She’s the girl who has spent the last four years consecutively watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S and sobs on “The Last One” episode every single time as if it were her first time seeing it. She’s the girl who proudly listens to Disney Movie soundtracks and reads Twilight. The girl who only laughs at cheesy puns until her stomach bursts and only eats Italian, Hispanic and Asian foods because they’re made with passion. The girl whose retaken Metaphysics three times because she loves the class. The girl who, can always be found walking or sitting in the woods/forest because, to her, it’s serene. The girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and would die for the boy in her arms or any of the 8 circled around them Allison, Erica, Boyd, Derek, Scott, Stiles, Lydia and yes, even Peter.
“I thought turning into a werewolf is supposed to make you stronger not weaker,” Erica speaks up.
The pack quickly noticed the once sick girl, she belittles others any chance she gets now to compensate for her bullied past. To Y/n, Erica was misled into this life because she was misunderstood.
“It does make you stronger, sometimes it takes a little longer to get used to your new abilities. However, Little Miss Sunshine treating Isaac-Pooh like a baby, doesn’t help,” Peter seethes.
“Don’t talk to her like that!” Scott growled.
They’re all super protective of her; maybe it’s because of her gentle and loving spirit or maybe its cause she’s older. Or maybe it’s because she always knows the right things to say and do. Or it could be simply because she’s Y/f/n Y/l/n, the girl who only sees good in people and somehow brings out that goodness in everyone, yes, even Peter.
“Trust me Isaac, I know all about family issues—Hi nephew,” Peter breaks as he sarcastically smiles and waves at Derek who rolls his eyes.
“But while Y/n and you are playing Dr. Phil, two Alpha twins morphed into one giant Alpha and has just ripped you both to shreds. Is that what you all want?” Peter spits, causing everyone to do Derek’s dramatic eye roll.
“Isaac, you need to forget about Daddy Dearest and pull it together!” Peter shouts at the now calm werewolf.
This isn’t the first time during training, Isaac’s mind flashed to his abusive past with his father, which Isaac hasn’t forgotten nor forgiven. Y/n thinks it’s because of Derek’s training method, to which Derek always respond, “It’s the only way I know how.” Isaac knows what they’re saying is true but he just can’t help it.
“Is it that time of the month or is your mission to be a douche to everyone?” the sarcastic boy asks.
“I’m sorry, please forgive me Stiles, for cherishing my life and not wanting to be killed,” Peter snaps back.
“You’re so selfish!” Allison speaks up.
“Yeah? I hope you told your aunt that as well when you found out what she did to my family!” he shouts at the hunter who lowers her head in shame.
“Look, we all have problems, whether its familial or other. What’s the big deal?” Lydia speaks up for her friend.
“You’re exactly right Lydia. We all have our own problems, but right now we’re all facing the same problem. An Alpha problem, there’s a whole frickin’ pack of them!” Peter screams.
“Sorry but, Peter’s right, I’m not dying on nobody’s watch,” Boyd speaks up.
“Oh, so he does speak!” Stiles gasps as he starts a slow clap.
“Are you that annoying or is your mission to irritate the life out of everyone you encounter?” Peter mocks.
“Stop!” Y/n shouts and everyone hushes, “You’re all right!” She removes herself from the heated wolf, straightening out Stiles, her flannel and faces the others.
“We need to be on guard of the vicious Alpha pack that is willing, in fact, thrilled to kill all of you to get to Derek and maybe Scott,” she says shifting her eyes to her best friend who gives her of look of, why-did-you-say-that.
“Possibly Scott? What do you mean, Y/n?” Erica asks.
“It’s not certain,” Derek says.
“But it is a possibility,” Peter rebuttals.
“What’s a possibility?” Allison asks, “Scott?” she asks again when no one answers her.
Y/n looks to Scott, asking with her eyes if it’s okay if she can elaborate and he nods at her.
“When Scott was saving Deaton, he was trying to walk through Mountain Ash,” Y/n starts.
“Ha! How did that work out for ya?” Erica jokes.
“Erica,” Y/n says softly and Erica lowers her head, “Although he didn’t break through, Deaton saw something,” she says walking towards Scott. “His eyes were flickering red. Like an Alpha,” Y/n finishes standing by Scott’s side.
“What?” Lydia, Allison, Erica, and Boyd all say at the same time.
“How is that even possible? Scott didn’t kill an Alpha,” Allison asks.
“Well, it’s extremely rare, only seen every hundred or so years, where a Beta, through goodwill and strength of character, can become an Alpha without killing one,” Scott answers.
“Yeah, they call it a True Alpha,” Stiles adds moving to stand next to his two best friends.
“So, this pack could be after Scott as well?” Allison asks turning to face Scott who’s already looking at her.
“Yes, Allison, which is why we need to train harder than ever, to protect both Derek and Scott,” Y/n says causing Derek, Peter, Erica, and Boyd to give a “told-you-so” look at the others. “But!” she continues holding up a manicured finger, courtesy of Lydia Martin, “We must be mindful that Isaac is dealing with something none of us have experienced and we should be patient with him,” she says turning back around to face the hazel-eyed boy. “Derek, what good is numbers if your Beta isn’t well?” she asks the wolf who shrugs; he knows she’s right Isaac shouldn’t fight, honestly none of these kids should even be in this situation.
“I’ll tell you what good numbers is,” Peter starts.
“Peter, Isaac being in the state that he is will only weaken Derek,” Y/n turns to look at him.
“She’s right, Derek and you know it,” Scott agrees.
“We’re all going to help you Isaac, we’re here for you, even Peter,” she continues as she crouches down to him as Peter rolls his eyes but he knows he’ll do it if she asks. “Isaac, yes Derek is stronger in numbers, but your overall being is worth more than some stupid, territorial dog fight,” Y/n tells him.
“Stupid fight?” Peter gasps unbelievably, “I’m sorry but am I the only one who actually comprehends the heat we’re up against? Y/n, this isn’t some stupid dogfight, oh no, this will be a bloodbath and everyone single one of us will be drowning in it; that includes you Mother Theresa,” Peter snaps at her.
“Shut up, Peter!” Isaac cracks.
“I’ll remember that when Kali’s claws are meters away from your throat and sweet ol’ daddy pops in that curly little head of yours!” Peter tantalizes.
“Enough!” Derek shouts. “Isaac, can you or can you not fight?” Derek demands from him, as he marches over and stands over the Beta.
“Der, please,” Y/n says putting herself between the two, “I know you’re worried and trust me I’m doing everything I can to find a way to help you, but don’t intimidate him,” Y/n says to her dear friend as she grabs his hands and holds them near her heart.
“I’m not trying to intimidate him, Y/n,” Derek says defeatedly, “I-I just need to know,” he finishes; Y/f/n Y/l/n, the girl who managed to sweeten the Sour Wolf.
“I can fight,” Isaac says softly but they all heard it loud and clear. “As long as Y/n is nearby,” he finishes.
“Absolutely not!” Scott and Stiles shout.
“Are you insane?” Peter asks.
“We’re not letting her anywhere near them,” Allison says firmly.
“I can’t believe you said that?” Lydia says at the same time Erica asks, “What is wrong with you?” Boyd looks disapprovingly.
“Well why not? Lydia is gonna be there!” Isaac shouts back.
“Lydia’s not human! She’s—something that screams when people die,” Stiles shouts back at him.
“Y/n can’t come, Isaac,” Derek says after everyone stops yelling their nays causing Y/n to look back at Derek.
“I can’t do this without her, she’s my anchor,” Isaac says softly. “She’s the only one who can bring me back if I do have another flashback,” he adds as he stands up pulling Y/n away from Derek. “I know it’s a lot I’m asking, Y/n. But I don’t think I can do it without you, Y/n,” he says, his large hands wrapping around her small ones.
Without a second to ponder, “I’ll do it,” Y/n tells him staring into his pleading eyes.
“No, you’re not,” Scott states matter-factly and marches next to Y/n, pulling her away from Isaac’s stare. “Y/n I can’t let you do this,” Scott pleads with his best friend.
“Yeah, and I’m not letting ya,” Stiles speaks up standing next to Scott.
Y/n looks between her two best friends, who are more like the brothers whom she always dreamed of; it sucked being the only child.
“As much as I hate to agree with Scotty Boy and his idiotic sidekick, he’s right,” Peter says, “Y/n, as much as no one believes it, I don’t want to see you hurt or killed for that matter,” Peter finishes smiling softly at Y/n and surprising everyone in the room.
Everyone except for Y/n, even when Peter mocks and snaps at her she knows it’s coming from a good place. Sure, the man is selfish and manipulative but he’s only doing what he feels is necessary to protect himself. “The man watched his family burn to ashes,” she pleads with her friends whenever they’d express their hatred for Peter. You can’t treat someone bad for wanting secure their safety, right?
“I know you care about me, Peter,” Y/n smiles at him, “And Scott and Stiles, I for damn sure know you care about me,” she continues, “All of you care, because we’re family and yes, that includes Peter,” she says causing a few to chuckle, however Scott, Stiles and Derek didn’t find the humor. “Think about how much you care for me, now multiply that by 10,000. That’s how much I care for all of you. So, if I have to risk my life to make sure only one of you is safe, I’ll do it. I need to be there so Isaac will be fine, which might save Derek, which benefits everyone. You guys have to look at the big picture,” Y/n bargains with her friends.
“Oh okay, I’m looking at the big picture now,” Stiles starts as he closes his eyes, “The werewolves are battling; I have my bat and I’m watching from a distance,” he pauses to open his eyes, “Because let’s be honest, I’m not gonna stay inside Roscoe,” he chuckles and closes his eyes again. “Yep, I see Lydia screaming bloody murder in the woods somewhere because I’m betting the Darach will strike again tonight; Allison is shooting arrows and daggers, and you, Y/n, are at home studying for the Statistics midterm you got coming up,” Stiles finishes opening his eyes, although it seemed funny, everyone knew he serious.
“Oh, look, I see the picture too,” Y/n says with sarcasm, closing her eyes “I finish studying, haul ass to the fight and I’m there for Isaac because he needs me,” she finishes.
“Y/n come on, you’re not seriously considering this are you?” Allison queries her big-hearted friend. Allison has always admired Y/n’s bravery, how did the sweetest girl manage to make Peter Hale care about someone other than himself, they all wonder to this day.
“Guys I appreciate your concern for me but—
“No, Y/n if you show up you become a liability,” Derek cuts her off, his way of preventing his confidant from getting killed, “The second the Alpha Pack gets their hands on you it’s over.”
“I’m already a liability! Don’t forget, they’ve been here for a while, meaning they’ve been watching us. Do you know how many times Aiden has either offered to take me home or go back to his place?”
“WHAT?!” Scott, Derek, and Isaac shout.
“When?!” Derek demands.
“I’m gonna rip his throat out!” Isaac shouts.
“Before or after, you’re nightmare of Daddy?” Peter taunts him.
“Look at you! They see how you guys protect me, who’s to say they’re not at my house right now waiting for me?” she challenges.
“Damn it, she’s right!” Derek curses while pulling at his hair he starts pacing back and forth.
“Is that true Derek? There could be a pack of Alphas waiting for her?” Scott says worriedly, feeling himself beginning to shift.
“Hey, hey, calm down, Scott. I was only being hypothetical,” she says calming her friend down,
“Well don’t be! You know I hate when you do that!” he shouts back at her, his fangs shooting out.
“I’m sorry, Scott, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she tells her glowing-eyed friend.
“Scott, look at me, I’m going to be okay,” she says hugging him making him relax in her arms as he shifts back.
“I’m sorry, Y/n” he says with puppy eyes; he’d almost broke his promise of ever wolfing out on her again. When Scott first got bit, Y/n noticed all the attention he was getting and she desired for that as well. She thought if she became a werewolf, her parents would stay home more and pay attention to her. She let it slip once that Derek proposed to give her the bite and how she was considering it and that made Scott furious. He’d die before he let any of his friends receive this curse. He didn’t know how to control it back then so he wolfed out and nearly attacked Y/n until Allison came to her rescue. Y/n forgave him immediately and Scott promised her, he’d never get that angry at her ever again.
“It’s okay, Scott. I understand, I’d do the same if anything ever happened to you,” she says rubbing his shoulders. “Which is why you need to let me be there for Isaac, so I can save you,” she continues, sincerity dripping from every caring word. “Please Scott,” she begs once more before walking away from him.  
Allison walks up behind Scott and rests her hand on his shoulder, “We can’t stop her, look at her,” she tells him as they all turn around to see Y/n caressing her thumb across Isaac’s tear-stained cheeks, “Her mind is already made up. I can see it in her eyes,” Allison continues as Scott turns around to completely face her, “It’s the same look I had when I wanted avenge my mother,” she confesses glancing at Derek before looking down at her feet.
“Y/n, are you gonna be there for me?” Isaac asks softly only wanting her to hear but in a room of werewolves he knew that was impossible. They stand for together for a while getting lost into each other’s eyes; their hands find their way back home, intertwined together.
“Always,” she replies smiling at the sweet boy. She will save Isaac, she thinks to herself.
“Y/n the second they see you— Peter starts.
“Then I won’t get caught,” Y/n sasses as she walks out of the loft pulling Isaac with her.
And no one stopped her because they knew Y/f/n Y/l/n, the girl who’d put her life at risk for the disturbed, curly-haired werewolf whom she was in love with.


Author’s Note: What did you think? FYI this will be a rrrrrreeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy long series and I’m super stoked for it!!!! 😋Feel free to comment or message me if you love, hate or have suggestions for it! Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend😘!

Prince Night ~どこにいたのさ!? MY PRINCESS~ (Full lyrics)

Kanji:

どこにいたのさ!? MY PRINCESS

マヂでGet you 視線が合う
その瞬間
今までしてきた恋を
全部 忘れさせるほど

乱れ飛ぶレーザービーム 皆騒いで狂喜乱舞 Hustle
プリンス達と遊んじゃう?
キミと朝までrendezvous あっそう

想定外 恋の BPM ミダレて
「その自意識だけで お腹いっぱい」

SAY!
Dance with me そう素直に
Just tell me キミが言いな
ひれ伏すコトには
不慣れな俺たちだし
Dance with me たったひとり
キミをみつめるほど
Fever Feverな心拍数(ビート)が
ずっと 加速し続けるよ

どこにいたのさ!? MY PRINCESS

100パー Want you 混みあってる
フロアの中
キミだけスポットライト
浴びたように輝く

恋なんて幼稚なゲーム スコアレスで常時完封 ちょーCool!
だからキミってスペシャル
振り回されてwithout you 撤収!

ヒリヒリする 恋に 熱くなってく

「ドン引きする くらい こっちは冷めてく」

SAY!
Dance with me ありのままに
Just tell me 求めてみな
制御やガマンは
嫌いな俺たちだし
Dance with me 今夜ふたり
時を止めてしまおう
Fever Feverな心拍数(ビート)で
ずっと踊っていたいのさ

まだまだ 夜は終わらない
Don’t stop Don’t stop 朝が来たって
2人きりで 逃がせばいい

SAY!
Dance with me そう素直に
Just tell me キミが言いな
ひれ伏すしかない
感情教えてくれ
Dance with me たったひとり
キミを抱きしめたら
Fever Feverな心拍数(ビート)が
永遠に鳴り止まないよ

踏み越えたいBorderline もっと深くキミを知りたい
ハメを外すくらい 本気にさせてみてよtonight

Dance Dance 恋を止めないで
ずっと 踊っていたいのさ

どこにいたのさ!? MY PRINCESS

Romaji:

Doko ni i ta no sa!? MY PRINCESS

maji de Get you shisen ga au
sono shunkan
ima made shi te ki ta koi o
zenbu wasure saseru hodo

midaretobu rēzā bīmu mina sawai de kyōki ranbu Hustle
purinsu tachi to ason ja u?
kimi to asa made rendezvous assō

sōtei gai koi no BPM midare te
‘sono jiishiki dake de onaka ippai’

SAY!
Dance with me sō sunao ni
Just tell me kimi ga ii na
hirefusu koto ni wa
funare na ore tachi da shi
Dance with me tatta hitori
kimi o mitsumeru hodo
Fever Fever na shinpaku sū ( bīto ) ga
zutto kasoku shitsuzukeru yo

doko ni i ta no sa!? MY PRINCESS

100 pā Want you komiatteru
furoa no naka
kimi dake supottoraito
abi ta yō ni kagayaku

koi nante yōchi na gēmu sukoa resu de jōji kanpū cho ? Cool!
dakara kimi tte supesharu
furimawasare te without you tesshū!

hirihiri suru koi ni atsuku natte ku

‘don hiki suru kurai kocchi wa same te ku’

SAY!
Dance with me arinomama ni
Just tell me motome te mina
seigyo ya gaman wa
kirai na ore tachi da shi
Dance with me konya futari
toki o tome te shimao u
Fever Fever na shinpaku sū ( bīto ) de
zutto odotte i tai no sa

madamada yoru wa owara nai
Don’t stop Don’t stop asa ga ki ta tte
2 nin kiri de nigase ba ii

SAY!
Dance with me sō sunao ni
Just tell me kimi ga ii na
hirefusu shika nai
kanjō oshie te kure
Dance with me tatta hitori
kimi o dakishime tara
Fever Fever na shinpaku sū ( bīto ) ga
eien ni nariyama nai yo

fumikoe tai Borderline motto fukaku kimi o shiri tai
hame o hazusu kurai honki ni sase te mi te yo tonight

Dance Dance koi o tome nai de
zutto odotte i tai no sa

doko ni i ta no sa!? MY PRINCESS

(Please credit me)

i’m probably gonna catch some heat for this but idk if i can like clarke again after what she did like yeah she didn’t go through with it but the fact that she doesn’t see anything wrong with becoming the next commander and basically mocking their ‘religion’ is just… yeah it’s a lot and i don’t like it

Requiem (Echoes)

Submitted by: Arc (http://arcanity.tumblr.com/)

They reached their hands inside my chest, and ripped out my beating heart. The cold closes in, echoing the sound of fear. I know not what I’ve done to deserve such a fate. In the earth I’m placed, and sealed, never to see light again.

My heart has failed? Stopped?
Nay.
It was taken and not returned. I am left with a void; unfulfilled and unfeeling I go to the grave. Filled with dust, and nothing more. A tree is planted near my head, to grow tall and strong. A symbol of rebirth, a new life in the next existence.

But I am still here. Rotting in this shell. Unable to breathe, unable to sleep.
Never to rest.
The tree grows, and plunges its roots into my chest. Into my shell. It breaks through my coffin, forcing me to feel again.
And I do. The tree grows within me, where my heart once was.

I take a breath.

Credits to: Arc (http://arcanity.tumblr.com/)

The Fan Letter (Oswald x Reader) Part 02 (Stalker!Oswald - his POV)

Originally posted by the-great-snape-debate

Many of us have written at least one story, where Oswald breaks into the reader’s or OC’s apartment and, well, is a perverted little Pingu (I still remember @queencobblefreezestuff and @oswald-cobblepot-is-my-addiction ones). Mine will take a slightly different route…  

Part 01 here

Warnings: bold language, jerking off, sexual phantasies, angst 

Editor: @amandajuly81

Tagging: @penguinsweetest@red-panda-on-the-loose @umbrellas-and-tallymarks@ascoolasathestral, @house-of-penguin @gotham-city-tales @aya-fay

Keep reading

writtenbyevilthoughts  asked:

Remember when they were fighting Rita and Goldar was crushing Kim and she just dramatically went, "Uh, it's crushing me!" And I was like, "Nay hunny, stop being so dramatically extra."

Naomi’s super extra acting abilities are the best thing ever. Especially when she’s just in the background, she’s just always doing something super extra. You can see all this extra in all of her scenes in Power Rangers and in the Martian where they cut out her lines and made her an extra. A super extra extra. Example

  • psychic: *reads my mind*
  • me: Onward, Chauncey! To the highest room of the tallest tower... ...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming! This is worse than "Love Leters". I hate dinner theater! Me, too. Whoa there, Chauncey! Hark! The brave Prince Harming approacheth. Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you... ...then take my place as rightful king. What did she say? It's Shrek! Whoo, Shrek, yeah! Prepare, foul beast... ...to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar! Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee Do you mind? Do you mind? Boring! Prepare, foul beast... Someday you'll be sorry. We already are! Mommy... You're right. I can't let this happen. I can't! I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. And I promise you this, Mother... ...I will restore dignity to my throne. And this time, no one will stand in my way. Good morning. Good morning. Morning breath. I know. Isn't it wonderful? Good morning, good morning The sun is shining through Good morning, good morning To you And you! And you! They grow up so fast. Not fast enough. You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. Several functions require your attendance, sir. Great! Let's get started. Come on, lazybones. Time to get moving! You need to get a pair ofjammies. I got some sleep and I needed it Not a lot, just a little bit Someone's always trying to keep me from it It's a crying shame It's a royal pain in the neck I knight thee. If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. Can somebody come in and work on Shrek? I will see what I can do. Yeah, wow. Is this really necessary? Quite necessary, Fiona. - I'm Shrek, you twit. - Whatever. This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! Smiles, everyone! Smiles! I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? It's just until Dad gets better. Shrek? You look handsome. Come here, you. My but is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. Hey, you! Come here. What's your name? Fiddlesworth, sir. Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen... ...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! Ahh! You've got it. A little to the left. That's it! That's good. Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. Shrek! My eye! What are you doing? Fiona! - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. Shrimp! My favorite! - That's it! We're leaving! - Calm down. Calm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. I think that went well. Donkey! Come on, Shrek! Some people just don't understand boundaries. Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home... ...in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus... ...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. You had me at "vermin-filled". And, um... maybe even the piter-pater of little feet on the floor. That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. Uh, no. What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. Donkey? No, Shrek. What if, theoretically... ...they were little ogre feet? Honey, let's be rational about this. Have you seen a baby lately? They just eat and poop, and they cry... ...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. Now, imagine an ogre baby. They extra-cry and they extra-poop. Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? Right now, you're my family. Somebody better be dying. I'm dying. Harold? Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. Of course, darling. Fiona. Yes, Daddy? I know I made many mistakes with you. It's okay. But your love for Shrek has... ...taught me much. My dear boy... ...I am proud to call you my son. And I'm proud to call you my frog... ...King dad-in-law. Now there is a mater of business to attend to. The Frog King... is dead. Put your hat back on, fool. Shrek... ...please come hither. Yeah, Dad? This kingdom needs a new king. You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you. Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. Come on, Dad. An ogre as king? That's not such a good idea. There must be somebody else. Anybody! Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. Really? Who is he, Dad? His name is... ...is... What's his name? ...is... Daddy! His name is Arthur. Arthur? I know you'll do... ...what's right. Harold? Dad? Dad! Dad? Do your thing, man. When you were young and your heart Was an open book You used to say live and let live You know you did, you know you did You know you did But if this ever changing world In which we live in Makes you give in and cry Say live and let die Live and let die Hey, lady You, lady Cursing at your life You're a discontented mother And a regimented wife What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? Ah, Mabel! Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. Where's Doris? Taking the night off? She's not welcome here, and neither are you. What do you want, Harming? Not much. Just a chance at redemption. And a Fuzzy Navel. And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! We're not your friends. You don't belong here. You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? Do a number on his face. Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? Oh, what's it to you? They left you the unfairest of them all. Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel? Pretty unfair. And you! Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. I hate that little wooden puppet. And Hook. Need I say more? - And you, Frumpypigskin! - Rumpelstiltskin. Where's that firstborn you were promised? Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot... ...into that tiny glass slipper? Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now... ...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature... ...that has ever done you wrong! Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story... ...and our side has not been told! So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their... ..."happily ever after"? This way, gents. It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. As are you. And, uh, you. I don't know you, but I'd like to. I got to go! I don't wanna leave you either. But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! Be strong, babies. Coco, Peanut, listen to your mama. Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. That's my special boy! Come here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! Shrek? Maybe you should just stay and be King. Come on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. It's not that. You see... And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. Here's persuasion... and here's reason. Fiona... ...soon it's just going to be you, me... ...and our swamp. It's not going to be just you and me. All aboard! It will be. I promise. I love you. That's lovely. Bye-bye, babies! Shrek! - Wait! - What is it? I'm... I'm... I love you, too, honey! No! I said I'm... You're what? I said I'm pregnant! What was that? You're going to be a father! That's great! Really? I'm glad you think so! I love you! Yeah! Me, too! You! I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! And you, my friend, are royally... Home. Shrek! Fiona! Fiona? Oh, no. Better out than in, I always say. No, no, no! It's okay. It's gonna be all right. Stop! Hey, wait! Donkey. Donkey! Wake up! Dada! Shrek! Are you okay? I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen? Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman... ...a powerful urge sweeps over him. I know how it happened. I just can't believe it. How does it happen? And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon When you coming home, son? I don't know when But we'll get together then, Dad. Donkey! Can you just cut to the part where you're supposed to make me feel better? You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat... ...an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. Don't listen to him! Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's. When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre"... ...or "as nurturing as an ogre"... ...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre." Okay. I get it. It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. That's true. I'm doomed. You'll be fine. You're finished. Uh, with your journey "Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? Now that sounds fancy! It's Worcestershire. Like the sauce? It's spicy! They must be expecting us. What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school. High school? Ready? Okay! Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins. For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? Let's just say some things are beter left unsaid. So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." - Oh, totally. - Pardon me. - Totally ew-eth. - Yeah, totally. I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. Hi. We're looking for someone named... Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped? I know you're busy not fiting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? He's over there. There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! Strong, handsome, face of a leader. Does Arthur look like a king or what? Sorry. Did you say you were looking for Arthur? That information is on a need-to-know basis. It's top secret! Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! Greetings, Your Majesty. This is your lucky day. What are you supposed to be? Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? Giant mutant... You made a funny. Unhand me, monster! Stop squirming, Arthur. I'm not Arthur. I am Lancelot. That dork over there is Arthur. This is, like, totally embarrassing... ...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. Excuse me? Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures. Oh, Arthur... ...come out, come out, wherever you are! You beter run, you litle punk no-goodniks! The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! Hold it. We're here for the mascot contest. We're here for the mascot contest, too. This is a costume? Worked on it all night long. Looks prety real to me. If he were real, could I do this? Or this? If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful. - Now watch this! - That's quite enough, boys. Thank you to Professor Primbotom and his lecture... ...on "just say nay". And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah... ...to the winner of our mascot contest, the... ...ogre? That's right. I'm the new mascot. So let's really try and beat the other guys at... ...whatever it is they're doing! This is all a bit unorthodox... Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? Hey, wait... Olassic. You should be ashamed of yourself! I didn't do it. They did. Please don't eat me. Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! I'm not here to eat him! Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new King of Far Far Away. What? Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! Burn. Is this for real? Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. So, wait... l'm really the only heir? The one and only. Give me a second. My good people... ...there's a lesson here for all of us. Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, "Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. Maybe I should cut him some slack. 'Oause maybe... just maybe... ...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." I'm looking at you, jousting team! And Guin? Oh, Guin. I've always loved you. Good friends, it breaks my heart, but... ...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! Okay, let's not overdo it. I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n' roll! You just overdid it. Look at you! You look darling. Just precious. Look at her. Any cravings since you got pregnant? No. Not at all. Do you smell ham? It's present time! Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. "Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker! "Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella." - Look at that! - What is it? It's for the poopies. Wait... babies poop? Everyone poops, Beauty. Fiona! We all chipped in for a litle present, too. Ta-da! You know the baby will love it, because I do! Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. Who's this one from? I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. "Have one on me. Love, Snow White." What is it? He's a live-in babysiter. Where's the baby? You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. It's nothing. I have six more at home. - What does he do? - Oleaning. - Feeding. - Burping. So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? Work on your marriage. Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? Oome on now, Fiona. You know what happens. You're tired all the time. You start leting yourself go. Stretch marks. Say goodbye to romance. I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? She's right! A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. How did Shrek react when you told him? When he first found out, Shrek said... Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters! Now... bombs away! Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. - His name's not Peter. - Shut it, Wendy. Enough pillaging! To the castle! You go! Take care of the baby! Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! Everyone in! Now! Oome on! Put some back into it! We don't have time. Now go! Quickly, ladies! We'll hold them off as long as we can! Where are Shrek and Fiona? The name doesn't ring a bell. No bell. I suggest you freaks cooperate... ...with the new King of Far Far Away! The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! - Hook! - Right! Avast, ye cookie. Start talking. - Gingy! - Papa! Setle down now. On the good ship Lollipop It's a sweet trip to the candy shop You! You can't lie. So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek? Well... I don't know where he's not. You don't know where Shrek is? It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume... ...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. So you do know where he is! On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... Stop it! ...I do not know where he shouldn't be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... On the good ship Lollipop Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! He's bringing back the next heir? No! Hook! Get rid of this new "King". But bring Shrek to me. I have something special in mind for him. He'll never fall for your tricks! Oh, boy. I can't believe it. Me, a king? I knew I came from royalty, but... ...I figured everyone forgot about me. Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. Really? Wow. But I know it's not all fun and games. It really is all fun and games, actually. Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the botle. Any idiot can hit a boat with a botle. Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. This is going to be huge. Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses. You'll be living in the lap of luxury. The finest chefs will wait for your order. And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. What do they do? Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. - Poisoned? - Or too salty. Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. All of them willing at a moment's notice to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. Really? The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. Make sure they don't die of famine! - Or plague. - Plague is bad. The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. Festering sores! You are one funny kity cat. What did I say? We don't want Artie geting the wrong idea. Artie? There goes my hip! Artie! What are you doing? What does it look like?! This really isn't up to you. I don't know anything about being king! You'll learn on the job! Sorry, but I'm going back. Back to what? Being a loser? Now look what you did! Look what I did? _ Who's holding the wheel, chief? Shrek! Land ho! How humiliating. Oh, nice going, Your Highness. Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"? If you think this is geting you out of anything, it isn't. We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another... ...and you're going to be a father! What? You just said "father". King! You're going to be king! "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. Where are you going? Far Far Away... from you! Get back here, young man! Boss? I don't think he's coming back. Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? Oome on. Why would I do that? Besides, he'll be ten times beter at it than me. Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. You're right, Donkey. What about this? - Shrek! - Oome on. It's just a joke. Still... Listen, Artie. If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. But what I am screamin' is, yo... ...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't! You're geting on my last nerve." And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack! Help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! - Artie, wait. - Oome on! Help! Hello? Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. Now prepare to... I knew I should have got that warranty! Mr. Merlin? You know this guy? Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. At the request of my therapist, and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature to discover my divine purpose. Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? Uh, no. Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? It's organic. Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. We need directions to Far Far Away. "We"? Who said I was going with you? I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. If the job's so great, you do it. Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out. That was your Mr. Nice Guy? Yeah, and I'm going to miss him. Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone! Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away... ...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking? I could tell you, but since you're in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral, it would be karmically irresponsible. Self-destructive? Are you going to help us or not? Most definitely, but only after you take the journey to your soul! I don't think so. It's either that or primal scream therapy. All right. Journey to the soul. Now, all of you, look into the Fire of Truth and tell me what you see. Ooh, charades! Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! Okay, monster... go for it. I see a rainbow pony. Excellent work! Now the boy. This is lame. You're lame! Now just go for it. Okay. There's a baby bird and a father bird siting in a nest. Yes! Stay with it! The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the litle bird all alone? It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. It's going to fall! Proper head case you are. Really messed up. Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what? Look, Artie, um... Just thought I'd help set the mood... ...for your big heart-to-heart chat. I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. Even ogres get scared. You know... once in a while. I know you want me to be king, but I can't. I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school first chance he got... ...and I never heard from him again. My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. I doubt he was worse than mine. Oh, yeah? My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me. I guess I should have realized it. He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. I guess that's prety bad. It may be hard to believe, what, with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are. You know... you're okay, Shrek. You just need to do a litle less yelling and use a litle more soap. Thanks, Artie. The soap's because you stink... really bad. Yeah... I got that. This place is filthy! I feel like a hobo. I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. Everything's always about you. It's not like your atitude is helping. Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. You mean in that rigged election? Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel... ...let down thy golden extensions!" Ladies, let go of your pety complaints and let's work together! So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly in this stinkhole until we rot. No, we get inside and find out what Oharming's up to. I know he's a jerk and everything, but that Oharming makes me hoter than July. That's it! Oome on! This way! Rapunzel, wait! Oharming, let go of her. But why would I want to do that? What? Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. Rapunzel, how could you? Jealous much? Soon you'll be back where you started, scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. That is, if I let you last the week. Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. Not here, kiten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. Sorry?! Don't you realize once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away... ...he's doomed? Look out! They got a piano! Kill them all... except the fat one. King Oharming has something special in mind for you, ogre. King Oharming? Atack! Artie, duck! Ready the plank! - Shrek! - Help! Oowards! What has Oharming done with Fiona? She's going to get what's coming to her. And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! - We've got to save her. - But she's so far far away! Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. I am a buzzing bee. Mr. Merlin? They need a spell to get them... ...I mean us, back to Far Far Away. Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore. How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. Please. I know you can do it. I said forget it! But... What's with you? It's just so hard, you know? They need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble. 'Oause there's a really bad man. It's just so hard! Take it easy. No! I don't think you understand! There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. Have a heart, old man. They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them?! Okay. I'll go get my things. Piece of cake. Well, well. You want eggs with that ham? I am a litle rusty, so there could be some side effects. - Side effects? - Don't worry. Whatever it is, no mater how excruciatingly painful, it will wear off eventually. I think. - Oops. - You sure about this? If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't cover... Alacritious expeditious... ...a- zoomy-zoom-zoom! Let's help our friends get back... ...soon! It worked! I haven't been on a trip like that since college! Donkey? What? Is something in my teeth? Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick! At least you don't look like some kind of bloated piñata! You should think about going on a diet! You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! So you two think this is funny? I'm really sorry, guys. Don't be. You got us back, kid. How in the Hans Ohristian Andersen am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots? Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. They were made in Madrid by the finest... You'll learn to control that. Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort inserts or arch supports or something. Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... Pinocchio! Shrek! Help me! - What happened? - Oharming and the villains took over! Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's... She's what?! What?! Puss! Loan me five bucks. You heard him. Help the brother out. Do you see any pockets on me? Hold on a second. I had no idea, really. I... I swear. Quick! Where is Fiona? Oharming has her locked away someplace. You have to find him! He's probably geting ready for the show! Wait, Pinocchio! What show? "It's a Happily Ever After After All". "Shrek's final performance"? Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. The ogre! Get him! Don't worry, jefe. I got this. Uck! Kill it! Look. Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you! We're dealing with amateurs. He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek. I'm going to lose it! Is everything ready? You did get the list for the dressing room? Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. And I hope you have the saffron corn with jalapeno honey buter. Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state withoutjalapeno honey buter! I just lost it. They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! "With this sword, I do..." No. "With..." "With this sword, I do smote thee!" Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"? I don't think that's a word. Maybe I should just "smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... Shrek atacks me. I pretend to be afraid. "Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" Blah, blah, blah. Oh, itjust doesn't feel real enough! Who told you to stop dancing?! Wink and turn. What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mummy. And I assure you... ...the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second... ...we've had to wait. Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you. Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. Where's Fiona? Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. Let me guess. Arthur. It's Artie, actually. This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? How pathetic. Stand still, so I won't make a mess. Oharming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him. Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? You weren't really next in line for the throne. I was. But you said the King asked for me personally. Not exactly. What does that mean? I said whatever I had to say, all right? I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. And you fit the bill. So just go! You were playing me the whole time. You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. You know, for a minute... ...I actually thought... - What? That he cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? You really do have a way with children, Shrek. Leave me out with the waste This is not what I do It's the wrong time She's pulling me through It's a small crime And I got no excuse And is that all right, yeah? Is that all right with you? Is that all right, yeah? If I give my gun away when it's loaded? If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? Is that all right? Is that all right? Is that all right with you? No. No. Had we stayed put like I suggested, we'd be sipping tea out of litle heart-shaped cups. Yeah, heart-shaped cups. And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. Yeah, loganberries. - Shut up, Oindy. - Yeah, shut up. - No, you shut up. - Stay out of this. Who cares who's "running the kingdom"? - I care. - You should all care. I have your badge number, tin can! - Donkey? - Princess! Puss? I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. And I'm me! But you're... Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is we went to high school, the boat crashed and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. You poor sweet things. I don't get it. The cat turned into a litle horse that smells like feet. What's to get? Who dat? Where's Shrek? Oharming has him. He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! All right, everyone. We need to find a way out now. You're right. Ladies, assume the position! What are you doing? Waiting to be rescued. You've got to be kidding me. What else can we do? We're just four... ...I mean three, super-hot princesses... ...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! Excuse me. Old lady coming through. Mom! You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? Excuse me. There's still one more. Why don't you just lie down? Okay, girls, from here on out... ...we take care of business ourselves. The Far Far Away Theatre at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present... ..."It's A Happily Ever After After AII." Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. Oi! No food or beverages in the theater! Places, everyone! Easy! Sorry. I was showing off for the litle one. It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Oome here, beautiful. Well, she's got your eye. Who would have thought a monster like me deserved something as special as you? Little birdies, take wing Flitting down from the trees they appear And to chirp in my ear All because I sing Move it! Go! My babies! Help! Hey, how's it goin'? O to the K. The coast is clear. Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Oool. I recall it was Team Awesome. I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. Okay! From henceforth, we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome Oool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. Ach de liebe! There is some strange litle girl over there staring at us! Artie! Wait, wait! Where is the fire, señor? Please. Don't act so innocent. You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. It's not like it seems. It's not? I think it seems prety clear. He was using me. That's all. Using you? You really don't get it. Shrek only said those things to protect you. Oharming was going to kill you, Artie! Shrek saved your life. Oue the spot! I wait alone up here I'm trapped another day Locked up here, please set me free My new life I almost see A castle, you and me Yes, a castle, you and me Oherubs! Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed Princess, my love At last you shall be freed I'm strong And brave And dashing my way there With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! - Through the blistering desert - Hot! - Across the stormiest sea - Wet! Facing creatures so vile Foul! So you can gaze upon me! I knew you'd come for me And now we finally meet I knew you'd wait And from my plate of love you'd eat Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? Will Charming fight or flee? Please rescue me! From this monstrosity! Fear thee not, honey lamb! I will slice this thing up like a ham! Oh, boy. You are about to enter a world of pain With which you are not familiar! It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. "Prepare, foul beast." Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! Oould you kill me and then sing? Be quiet! I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. Thank you. Do they come in men's sizes? Now that be funny! Enough! Now you'll finally know what it's like... ...to have everything you worked for... ...everything that's precious to you, taken away. Now you'll know how I felt. Sausage roll! Pray for mercy from Puss! And Donkey! D Hi, honey. Sorry we're late. You okay? Much beter, now that you're here. So, Oharming, you want to let me out of these so we can setle this ogre-to-man? Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a beter idea. No! Let go of me! You will not ruin things this time, ogre. Kill it. Everybody, stop! Oh, what is it now?! Artie? Who thinks we need to setle things this way? You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. You never wish you could be something else? Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. You morons! Don't listen to him! Atack! What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you. Right. Thanks, Ed. Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. But you know... ...a good friend once told me... ...just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre... ...or just some loser... ...doesn't mean you are one. What maters most is what you think of yourself. If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be... ...the only person standing in your way is you. - Me? - Get him! No, no, no! What I mean is each of you... ...is standing in your own way. I always wanted to play the flute. I'd like to open up a spa... in France! I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful. A new era finally begins! Now all of you... ...bow before your King! You need to work on your aim. This was supposed to be my happily ever after! Well, you need to keep looking... ...because I'm not giving up mine. Mommy? It's yours if you want it. But this time it's your choice. Author! Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! Excuse me. That's my seat. Okay, Señor Hocusy-Pocusy, the time has come to rectify some wrongs! Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. Please say you didn't. All right! Look. You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort... ...but this should do the trick. - Are you? - I'm me again! - And I am not you! - All right! Oops. Ah, never mind. What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. I have something much more important in mind. Finally. Dada. Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place I smell Shrek Junior! Where else could a creep like me Meet such a pretty face Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! A bouncy, bouncy, boy! Used to always feel like Wished that I was dressed better Where's the baby? Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done My losing streak is done Well... what shall we do now? I got it. Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! Look at my hips! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! - Break it down! - Let's go! Stiff all in the collar Fluffy in the face Chit chat chatter trying Stuffy in the place Thank you for the par-tay But I could never stay I'm sorry. I got many things on my mind But the word's in the way And I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Different strokes for different folks Thank you for letting me be myself Again Break it down! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Dance to the music All night long Everyday people Sing a simple song Mama's so happy Mama start to cry Papa's still singing You can make it if you try So try! Thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you for letting me be myself Again Oome on, Donkey. Do something right! Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Thank you for letting me be myself Again I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you, thank you, thank you. Want to thank you Just to be my Because I just want to be my... See? Can I, can I thank you! Can I Yes! Yes!
  • psychic: what the fuck

30 Day OTP Challenge Day 12 - Making Out

Title: Song For You
Pairing: GarekixNai
Synopsis: Gareki’s voice causes Nai to feel something he’s never felt before. It’s a strong feeling and he’s desperate to get it satisfied. 
Author’s Note: This story is SFW so no worries. XD (Though I’m sure I’ll do NSFW in the future haha) I loved writing this story so I hope others find it enjoyable. (Also this is not a songfic. I don’t do songfics XD) 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Rarepair hell: What do you thunk about TsukkiKage and/or KageSuga???

I LOVE KAGESUGA!! Like it’s such a precious ship, just imagine how adorable they would be. Imagine Kageyama being flustered all the time and Suga teasing him because of it whenever he gets the chance!! (´∀`•)

And TsukkiKage would be such a salty ship? ASHDGAS imagine them bickering all the time with lots of awkward hand-holding and them just being their dorky selves omg are there any fanfictions for this?!

anonymous asked:

God forbid Bellamy and Clarke get separated again in s5's plot but imagine they do with Abby's condition getting worse. Getting worse enough for her to hand her wedding ring over to Bellamy and tell him "give this to Clarke". Bellamy shakes his head and says "No, you'll see her again." But Abby just smiles at him and says "You always seem to find her faster than I do, Bellamy."

U NEED 2 STOP

Continued From: 

          Quickly does her composure return, adjusting the blade in her
          hand as she wished to strike, only to feel that grind of metal upon
          metal: a FAMILIAR sound that she would always be able to pick
          upon. KING SAW was wielded by the other, and she should have
          expected such…a growl still as she narrows her eyes on the other,
          even more so than prior — to the point where if LOOKS could kill,
          the other would have fallen.

                     ❝ …I’ll kill ANY who stands in my way of PROTECTING her…
                     CHARIOT, and your CHILDREN shan’t ever stop me. Nay will you,
                     Black Gold Saw. ❞

          The word DARLING makes her skin crawl, tempted to HEADBUTT the
          taller being with her being so close, but she staves off her hostility and
          keeps a calm attitude. Even the thought of the other caring for her
          makes her scoff. That was the LAST thing she could imagine. 

                     ❝ Not such a thing is FATHOMABLE to myself…one such as you
                     supposedly caring for myself. Such a concept is laughable. We are
                     enemies, for the very reason that you do not but HARM those to whom
                     I care for. You TAKE from me what I cherish dearly.

                               Such a thing could not EVER be amended for. ❞

atlasbellamyblake  asked:

“What are you doing?” asked Emori, looking over Bellamy’s shoulder. He had a pencil and paper in front of him, Clarke’s transmission photo up on the display panel. “Learning to sketch. She always made it look so easy.” He swiped the pencil on the sketch’s hairline and frowned. “Can’t get the shading right. Whenever she was in the sun, I swear her hair glowed, but in that photo, lighting’s so terrible, she looks...” Bell took a breath, shuddering. “She looks dead,” he said, voice cracked.

u need 2 stop