stop making me think of shotgunning

I Slapped Your Ass in Greeting

John Laurens x Reader, ft. Alexander Hamilton

Modern AU

Author: Lil Lambie

Words: 1984

Warnings: Mild swearing, social anxiety, butt slapping mentions of alcohol, and violence

Request: (Anon) :I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting AU please!

A/N: At first I didn’t think I’d be able to do this one, but I totally fell in love with it and it all game together. I love this one so much. As for the anon, that brought up our faults in our schedules, I’m really sorry. We are really going to try and stick to the schedule this week, unlike last week which was awful. Enjoy!

“Excuse me, excuse me.” you whispered as you tried to navigate the crowd. Your friends had abandoned you and you were left in a terrifying crowd of punks. You were sure that they were all nice once you got to know them, but they were intimidating from the outside, and you could barely speak because you were choked up with fear.

You shifted with the long line to the concert. You popped in your earbuds and tried to calm down and listen to some music. You texted your friends, begging for them to come back or at least take you home.

They were your ride, and as of now, you would have to find a way home. You frowned when you glanced down at your battery. It was already below 50%. You envisioned yourself in the worst possible scenario, getting thrown into the mosh pit, suffocating from beer, smoke, body heat, and of course social anxiety.

At the thought of this, you turned up the music a little louder, trying to drown out your thoughts. It was getting dark and the concert was about to begin. You had no idea what you were going to do. You considered hiding and crying in a restroom for majority of the concert and hope your phone had enough battery to call someone to pick you up.

“Hey, sexy!” you felt a swift slap across your butt.

Your face instantly turned red. Every part of your body turned red hot. Anxiety coursing through your veins.  Your heart pounded in your chest. Your stomach dropped.

“Ohmygod!” you turned around to see a man, completely red staring at his hand and back at you. “Ohmygod. I am so sorry. I thought you were-I-I.”

You stared at disbelief at the man. He was short and had curly dark hair, that poofed under his red baseball cap. The cap was torn and frayed on the edges with a bit of sweat around the bill. His freckles were like stars compared to his red tomato face.

“I am so so so so sorry! I thought you were my friend and I-”

“Your girlfriend?” you blurted out.

“What? No. My boy-I mean my best friend. Alex. Alexander Hamilton? He’s about yeah high,” he waved the air just below his neck, “full of angst, anger, long dark hair but smooth. Kinda like mine but straight.”

You laughed.

“What? Excuse me?”

You blushed. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to…” you looked down and tried to avoid his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” he asked in a joking tone.

“Nothing, it’s just… you started out saying boyfriend, then you said he was straight and you said you have curly hair-which I mean you do, it’s beautiful-but then it was like the implied joke that you know you aren’t straight and ohmygod I’ll shut up. I’m sorry.” you were rambling and your words jumbled into one, long, run on sentence.

You expected him to yell or defend himself.

He replied with a grin and laughed. He extended his hand. “I’m John. John Laurens. You can call me, J, J La, Laurens, Johnny, Jonathan, frankly you can call me whatever you like.” he chuckled. You took his hand and shook it tentatively.

“I think I’ll just stick with John…J La.” you laughed.

He smirked. “So forgive me, let’s forget about my friend for one moment. But, you seem like a fish out of water here.”

You laughed and nodded. You and John walking to keep up with the moving line. “Yeah, I came with some friends but they ditched me. Also, they were my ride. So, I’m kind of just stuck here. This night has been pretty awful so far.”

“Well, that’s nothing a few beers, dancing, and good music can’t fix.” he smiled.

“Shouldn’t you find your friend, Alex, or something?”

“Nah, he’s fine. Probably lecturing some poor old punk about classic rock and such. He actually kind of likes heavy metal, but I dragged him here with me.” John pointed to his shirt, pointing at the Aerosmith logo. “I love classic rock. But yeah, he’s probably fine. You wouldn’t mind sticking with me would you? I just..I just don’t want you to get lost or overwhelmed because your friends were such assholes-oh,” John blushed, “sorry, that wasn’t my place.”

You shake your head. “You weren’t wrong.” you sighed. “But, I guess I’ll have to take you up on that offer, considering that I well have no one else except me, myself and I.”

John smirked back at you. “You wouldn’t mind if I held your hand then?” he blushed. “Ya, know…so that we don’t get separated or anything…”

“No, not at all.” you threw your hand into his. A warm feeling washed over your body. It wasn’t anxiety anymore. You couldn’t explain it.

You and John continued to talk, he talked a lot of about Alex, and then asked about you. You let him pull you a few rows behind the mosh pit. You started to scream at each other, because the band was doing soundchecks and the crowd was chanting and cheering.

“So, you work at a pizzeria?” you asked.

“Yeah, I actually own it. Just on a college campus not far from here. Originally, I was just an apprentice at the old place, but the old man moved and gave it to me. She’s my little baby. Kind of like Alex.” he laughed. “I swear we aren’t a thing. He’s just my odd wing-man/best friend.”

“Suuuure.” you laughed.

“New York City!!!” one of the frontman singers screamed into the microphone. His hair was long overgrown and thinning fast with old age. He must have been touring for at least half a decade now and was closer to a hundred. The man who was a classic rock legend of his era, was almost a century. But he still had the sound pipes of an angsty thirty year old.

You and John quickly got pushed into the mosh pit.

“John!” you screamed as you lost his hand in yours.

You found yourself in the middle of screaming, sweating, violent, and drunk psycho fans. One elbowed you in the face telling you to ‘shove it’ along with many non-family friendly words. You winced at the throbbing in your nose. You were slowly pushed into the depths of the pit, around everyone’s stomping feet. Someone stepped on your hand.

“John!” you screamed.

You heard a distant shout at the bottom of the feet. Every time you tried to stand up, you got pushed under like trying to resurface the ocean with a wave crashing over your head. Except, instead of white rimmed waves, cigarette ashes and beer fell over your head.

The next moment was filmed with absolute sailor profanity. A fight broke out around you. More so than before. And in the middle of it was a short, freckled-faced, curly haired man. You watched, with tears running down your face, blood running from your nose, as John took a broad looking guy, covered in tattoos.

John hit him with an uppercut punch, and finalized it with a punch to the gut. Anyone who stepped in his pathway ended up with a broken nose and intense bruises. You watched the anguish on his face, sweat dripping down his temples, cap being pushed around. When everything was too loud and panicking to bear, your vision went black.

Strong arms hooked themselves beneath your arms, secured you and pulled you back. The arms dropped from yours, to under your back and legs.

When you could see again, the lights and blaring of the concert was a haze.

“You’re okay!” John cried.

Another man, equally short squatted over you. His hair was dark and slicked into a messy bun, with a scrappy beard.

“Here, take this.” the nameless man said, placing a cold ice pack to your face. John ran to grab a paper towel and helped stop the nosebleed.

“John.” you cried softly, shaking your head. Your tears turned to laughter. “You are dead. You are going to get your ass kicked. You messed with some pretty scary dudes.” you laughed.

The nameless man grinned and slugged John in the arm. He said, “I’m Alex, by the way.”

You and John burst out laughing. You reached for his hand, struggling to calm the tremors in your body. He reached back for yours and met your eyes with a soft smile. He had a few scratches and bruises on his face. A single tear fell. He wrapped an arm around you and held you tight.

“I’m so glad that you are okay.” he cried. He shook his head and sniffed.

“Awww, you’re like a little baby, with snot running down your face.” Alex laughed at John.

John laughed and tried to ignore him. “You know, if you aren’t too traumatized, we could go back to the concert-” he paused when he saw the look of discomfort in your eyes, “-or I was thinking more sensibly, we could go eat an old diner or grab a drink and dance there with no possible chance of a Lion King stampede.” he joked, in a light manner.

Alex shook his head at him. “Too soon man.”

“It’s fine.” you laughed.

“No! I’m taking about Mufasa! It’ll never be okay! He tried to save his son, and he died!” Alex sobbed.

You cocked your head at John, a sly smile on your face. “Is he okay? Is he joking?”

John shrugged. “No one knows.”

John stood up and helped you up. He pulled you into him, an arm around you, the other hand in yours. “Shall we go get a drink then?” he smiled.

“Yeah! Five tequila shots, on John!” Alex snatched the car keys from John’s pocket and started running towards the parking lot.

“I was thinking more like just the two of us.” John laughed.

Alex stopped and looked at John, awful concerned. “Don’t you think that’s quite rude?” he gestured to you.

“I meant (Y/N) and I.” John frowned.

“Well, you need a third wheel for stability right? Buy me five shots and I’ll hang out by the jukebox. You guys won’t even notice me.”

John laughed and looked to you. You shrugged. “I call shotgun!” John shouted. He let go of you and make a quick jump forward.

“No!” Alex screamed. “I don’t want to drive!” Alex booked it to the parking lot.

“Why’d you do that?” you asked. John hadn’t took off running.

“So that I could do this.”

John yanked you forward and kissed you. He had a sharp intense grip on you and kissed you fiercely. Until he softened and melted into the kiss. His grasp softened to nothing and his hand slipped to your hair. To your chin. He brushed his hands down slowly and gently. John’s lips hurt a little bit against yours because of the bruises, but you kissed him back.

“Guys!” Alex came running back, out of breath. “What is taking you so long-oh, GROUP HUG!”

Before you and John could break apart, Alex threw his arms around the both of you.

“Why does he do this?” you laughed, uncomfortably, pressed up against John.

“To ruin the moment.” John laughed. “But, that’s nothing a swift punch can’t fix.” John broke from you, just a moment, to clock Alex in the shoulder, enough to stagger him but not to hurt him. John grabbed you and again and kissed you.

“I like this.” you said in between a kiss.

“I like this too.” John smiled. “I like you more.”

Time slipped by in John’s arms. Your head throbbed with an enormous headache, but it turned to a dull ache when you kissed John. You both ignored Alex’s protests as you kissed more intensely than before. The kiss was filled you with everything and simultaneously nothing.

Because, nothing seemed to matter in John’s arms.

anonymous asked:

Yay! You're accepting requests I love your writing 💖Can I please have some post fall poly!reaper76? Where the reader accidentally let's it slip that she's in love with them both. (Fluff and possible nsfw maybe???)

WHOO BOI! This is mostly smut but I tried on the fluff, ask me to write another one if it isn’t what you wanted. Please send me another request if you have one, I’d love to write it. The reader is written as female but if that’s a problem let me know. 

I’m glad you like my writing! That’s a huge compliment so thank you very much!

Also! I imagined the reader being someone who they trust implicitly, someone who has proven themselves worthy to both men and has earned their highest respect. Kinda like a romantic version of Ana I suppose.

Warnings: Smut, swearing, threesome, all that jazz. 

“I swear to god if you two don’t stop I’m going to kill you myself!” You shout over your shoulder as you shoot at the gang members surrounding you.

“It’s not my fault boy scout can’t share the spotlight.” Reaper growls, dissipating across the alley only to reappear by your side. His shotguns gleam in the streetlights and you make a note to ask him how he reloads his weapons later.

“It’s not my fault you’re an imbecile, always were.” 76 fires off a helix rocket, bringing nearly all the action to a stop. There’s a few of them sprinting away from the three of you but you take them out fairly quickly before turning to the men.

“You’re both so annoying, how anyone puts up with either of you is beyond me.” Sliding your gun into its holster you shake your head.

“I’ll kill you again, think I won’t.” 76 hisses at Reaper, who flashes his claws.

“It didn’t take the first time, why do you think the second will be any different?”

“Third time’s the charm then.” The barrel of his rifle presses against Reaper’s mask. After a moment of staring each other down they lunge, grappling with each other on the dusty ground as they throw punches and attempt to really hurt each other. When Reaper slams Jack’s head against the brick wall of the alley you decide it’s probably time to step in. You accidentally get clocked in the face before they finally break apart, yelling at each other over who hit you.

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Prove Them Wrong- Part 2

Part One

Fed up of being cooped in the bunker- not allowed to Hunt. You take action.

Midnight. It was midnight. Normally, Dean was still up at this time. Sometimes you with him, both talking about nonsense or sat in comfortable silence. But this night he went to bed as early as Sam. You realised they would be upset with you for being in a mood, but dammit you had every right to be.
You sighed and decided it was time to take action.

You took your emergency backpack out from under your bed. You’d had one packed a few years now full of necessities and hunting material. ‘This is incase anything ever happens’ You remember telling yourself
You slung it over your shoulders and waited. 

You waited to make sure no one was in fact awake and you waited to try and talk yourself out of it. But, the more you tried the more you wanted to go. You weren’t running away and you weren’t doing anything stupid. It was a simple salt and burn and hell, you were prepared. 

At 12:30am you moved out of your room and into the main section of the Bunker. You paused in the middle of the war room to check for movement but nothing happened. After making sure, you climbed the steps. Every footstep increased the tension as you became closer and closer to leaving. It wasn’t the leaving part that was worrying you, but your brothers reaction. Not to mention Mary.

When you reached the door it took every bit of willpower in your body not to turn around. If you did then you might never go on this hunt. Your hand clasped around the handle and you slowly creaked it open. “Be back soon, bud.” You whispered, patting the bunker’s walls before exiting the building and closing the door behind you.

You were out. 

Now to grab the car and go.

Of course you weren’t going to take Baby, Dean would never forgive you. So instead you took the other car that was out there. It was a 1962 Mercury Monterey, Dean’s favourite in the garage. You took the keys out of your pocket which you’d stolen from Dean earlier. Well, they were in his bedside table but something told you he wouldn’t notice.

“Let’s do this.” You smirked, slipping in the front seat. Thankfully you’d already turned 17 so Dean taught you to drive- not that you got much further than Kansas.
You made sure you were far away from the Bunker before blasting your music loud.  The case was in Nebraska so not too far away. You didn’t stop driving all night and partly into the morning until you reached your destination.After booking into the Motel, you presumed you’d have about 24 hours until your brothers find you. It would have been longer, but you took their car which means they know the number plate. 24 hours was more than enough.

“Okay thank you very much Mrs Lock,” You smiled at the victim’s mother, trying not to look to uncomfortable in your stupid suit. “Please call me if anything else comes to mind.” You added before turning around to leave.


You paused and turned to look, Mrs Lock hadn’t exactly given you anything to go on yet. “Yes?” You encouraged, wanting more.
“I know it sounds stupid but….the man I saw I thought,” She stopped and shook her head. “No nevermind. It’s silly.”
“Go on, anything you can remember is very helpful. Real or not. It all gives us an idea of who…or what…we’re dealing with.”
“Well okay. I could have sworn he was….see-through.”
“See-through?” You echoed. At least that confirmed your suspicions.
“Yes. I know it’s probably codswallop but I saw…something.”
“You’ve been very helpful. Thank you.”

You climbed into the car, happy to know it was definitely a spirit. Vengeful by the sounds of it. It had killed a 13 year old girl and is claimed to have looked like her step-dad who died a few years back because of a car crash. 

You decided to stop off at the local Church where he was buried “Christopher Lock.”. You scanned the gravestones for ‘LOCK’, armed with a ready-loaded shotgun, shovel, salt and a lighter. 

A cold breeze dropped the temperature, sending a chill up your spine.
However when nothing happened you put your things down and began to dig at CHRISTOPHER LOCK’S grave. You hadn’t done this before so now was the time to discover it was incredibly tiring and very time-consuming. 

You dug your shovel into the dirt, but with every load you tossed to the side more seemed to fill the gap. However, you were determined and persevered. 

When you were finally almsot finished, with a few corners of the coffin poking through the soil, you paused for a quick break. Your hands were cramping and your back ached. Taking in a deep breath, you noticed it came out as a cold mist, this was all just like before when Mary took you on that hunt. Only that time the ghost had appeared by now…unless it was occupied with another victim.  
You strained your ears and grabbed your shotgun. A cry for help made you clamber out of the grave and sprint over to where the noise was coming from. It was inside a large shed-like building, which must have been where the grounds keeper kept his things.

You held up the gun, aiming it straight ahead and taking sharp movements as you scanned the building. It was reasonably big, but you could see everything inside from where you were. In front of you was a translucent tall man with a bloody and burnt body, his cothes ripped with an ashen finished. You didn’t have time to take in the two people he was attacking and took a shot. It disappeared into a cloud of mist, the gunshot still ringing in your ears. You staggered backwards slightly from the recoil, but remained standing stiffly. Lowering your firearm, you realised who they were. 

Of course.

Who else.

Your brothers were staring at you with both shock and disappointment. Dean had a stiff jaw and flared nostrils.
Sam got up from where he’d fallen, not sure whether to speak or not. Sam might have been older than you, but Dean was the eldest and you both had to respect that whether you liked it or not. Sam looked equally pissed off, but at least he wasn’t on the verge of exploding, unlike Dean.

You waited, shifting awkwardly. Dean didn’t take his cold and stern eyes off you.

“Where’s he buried?” Dean demanded. You stuttered, surprised that’s what he wanted to know above everything else “Uhm…J-just outside…” You managed, not sure whether to turn to lead the way or wait. 
He kept his poker face as he stormed past you. Sam waited for you to follow on before exiting the building.
You just wanted to do one thing without your brothers being there to do it for you.

Dean picked up your shovel and continued to dig. Sam picked up the salt and lighter, waiting for the bones to be accessible. “Leave the gun and get in the car.” Dean ordered, determined to finish the case before getting into a fight.
Every instinct you had told you to do as he told you to, but there you were not moving. “I said get in the car!” Dean barked, his voice boomed over the otherwise silence.
Again you did nothing. You were too scared to say no, but too stubborn to actually do what he wanted.

“Y/N…” Sam sighed, trying to go for a more calmer approach “Just get int he car, okay?” 
You understood that Sam didn’t want to deal with anymore conflict, but this wasn’t his decision to make. “You’re not Dad.” You glared at Dean. 

Dean stopped, his hands hovering over the lid of the coffin.

“Don’t you think I know that!” he snapped.

“Do you?” You scowled “Because it looks to me like your still trying to copy every damn thing he’s ever done.”

“You shut your mouth!”

“Or what? Are you going to hit me?”You slung the shotgun over your back. “Fuck the pair of you.”

Sam and Dean watched you walk away from them, both in pure shock as they took in the words you’d said. 

You sat in the front of Baby next to Sam. Dean drove the Mercury back.
Sam insisted that he was the one to be with you because of Dean’s…”temper”.

It was silence for Sam, who glanced worriedly at you from time to time. You looked out of the window, headphones in and volume up. You didn’t know what to say, you were furious that they didn’t even thank you for saving their asses. You were angry they hadn’t let you hunt yet. You couldn’t believe that after seventeen years on this dumb planet you were still being treated like a newborn.

About halfway into the journey, Sam tapped your shoulder, making you take an earbud out. “Yeah.” You mumbled, not wanting to look him in the eye. You wanted to be angry at Sam, but it was hard when he hadn’t given you as much of a reason. Both your brothers hadn’t wanted to introduce you into hunting, but Dean seemed a lot more protective about it. 

His vagueness forced you to look up, he had the audio cord in his hand. You took it, taking your headphones out and putting it in. Before un-pausing your music, you whispered a  “Thanks, Sammy.” 
“No prob, sis.” He offered a tight smile.

Dean’s voice boomed through the halls of the bunker: “What the hell were you thinking?!”

“I’m not the one getting my ass kicked by a ghost.” You remarked, noticing Mary had come to see what was going on.

“Don’t you speak to me like that!” Dean hissed.

“Dean calm down.” Sam put a hand out in attempt to do so.

“No, Sam! I won’t calm down because my stupid sister doesn’t seem to realise how dangerous what she just did was!”

“Of course it’s dangerous it’s hunting!” You shouted back, trying not to let tears form in your eyes. Dean continued off your point “Which you shouldn’t be doing!”
“Why not? I didn’t realise you were in charge of my life!”
“You’re going to go hunt when we say you can.”
“You don’t get to decide what I do with my life!” 

“HEY!” Mary shouted, making the three of youstop. “Dean, go to your room.”
Dean frowned “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Mary folded her arms over her chest, taking a stand. Dean gave you a glare before storming down the corridor.

You stood in shock, had Mary actually just asked him to do that?
“Y/N, stop shouting at him he won’t listen when he’s mad no matter how loud you are.” She scolded, starting to lightly pace around the room.
You raised an eyebrow at her…who’s side was she on?  “Okay…?”
“You were stupid,” She turned to you “You were reckless, and you scared us all to death. So don’t you ever think you have the right to walk out of this bunker without one of us knowing about it.”

“Mom’s right. You can’t just go hunting when you feel like it, Y/N.” Sam added.

“Well it’s not like you or Dean are gonna take me any time soon!” You protested. “Y/N..” Sam sighed “We didn’t know you were this serious about Hunting.”

“Probably because you never bothered asking.” You rolled your eyes, folding your arms over your chest.
“You can just talk to us.” You realised at this point that Sam wasn’t telling you off but asking you to tell the truth.

Mary stepped back in to the conversation “No one here has the right to tell you what to do with your life. So if you want to hunt then that’s okay. I’ve seen you Hunt and you’re good-”
“What?” Sam’s eyes widened.
“She’s seventeen, Sam. I took her on a few salt and burns that’s all. When Dean has calmed down, you’re going to say sorry to him.”
“But-” You wanted to protest, only she didn’t give you the chance.
“Am I making myself clear?” 
You sighed. “Yeah I guess.”
“Good. I’ll go get dinner.” With that she turned and left, leaving you alone with Sam.

You didn’t know what to say or what to do. You were still angry, but if felt like Mary had put some force field around you meaning you couldn’t be. Sam sat down on the table, his feet still able to touch the floor somehow. He patted next to him, gesturing for you to sit down as well.
You did, your feet swinging in the air.

Sam wrapped an arm around you, hugging you tightly against his chest. You both sat in silence for quite some time. Neither wanting to move.

“You know,” Sam lightly cleared his throat “Dean wanted to be the first person to take you on a hunt.”
“When we found out we had a sister he was so excited to be an older brother again- not that he’d admit it.” You smiled a little “Then you found out about hunting and he wanted to make sure you were so prepared it was almost impossible for you to fail at it.”
“So why doesn’t he want me to hunt?” You asked, desperate for an actual answer.
“It’s not that he…we don’t want you to. It’s that we want you to do whatever it is that you want to do.”
“But I want to hunt.” You said it like it were obvious.
“We didn’t know.”
“I’ve been training.” You explained “Mary helped me a little.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sam sounded hurt which made you feel guilty.
“I thought you’d be angry. I thought you wanted me to go have one of those stupid apple pie lives.” You scoffed at the thought.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. We should have realised.”
“Is that why Dean’s so angry?” 

“He just doesn’t want you to get hurt. He doesn’t want to be like…like Dad. He’s scared, Y/N. He’s scared he’s going to do it wrong.”
“He won’t.” You assured him despite his absence.
“You try telling him that.” Sam scoffed.

“I will.” You smirked, “Just you watch.”

Sam chuckled.

You glanced up when you heard footsteps, making your smile fall into a curious glance. Dean turned the corner, his face was softer as he moved over. He sat down next to you so you were in between your brothers. “I’m sorry, kid.”

“Me too, De.” 

“We should have let you hunt by now, I’ve been selfish. There’s me knowing your all safe at home while me and Sam are out ganking monsters, never thinking of it the other way round. Hell, you don’t even know if we’re gonna come back sometimes. I guess I’ve always known real deep down you wanted to hunt.”

You didn’t know what to say so you just pulled him into a hug. Dean hugged back. pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Does this mean I can hunt?” You asked, giving him your best puppy-dog eyes

“Don’t give me that look,” Dean rolled his eyes “Yes. But you’re not hunting alone.”

“I won’t.” You promised. 

“And you do as I say.”

“I might.” You smirked, making him chuckle.

“Does this mean I get to ride shotgun?”

“Don’t push it.” Sam nudged your side playfully.

“Can I pick the music?”

Dean looked mortally offended “He said don’t push it.”


(Tags after cut)

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Stop It Right Now, Daryl Dixon

ANONYMOUS: Can I please request #19&22 with Daryl?

You were normally on your A game 100% of the time but when you accidentally did not lock the door of the building that you and Daryl were hiding out in after the prison fell, walkers made their way into the building. Daryl and yourself were forced to leave all of your food and water behind in the building because it was either your both live or you die trying to save your supply. You knew well that Daryl was the last person to let you know as to what was going on in his mind especially when he’s upset, he ignored you for two days straight.

“Okay. I know I was an idiot but you are going to drive me insane by not talking to me.” you threw a stick into the fire, Daryl was having a hard time finding game to catch and it seemed like your stomach growled louder and louder as each hungry day passed by. A lucky break the two of you managed to get was that it had been raining for the past day and you collected enough water to keep you guys alive for the next few days. “It’s not like I did it on purpose. I made one mistak–” before you could finish talking Daryl cut you off. “Yeah but that stupid mistake coulda killed us!” he threw his empty bottle into the fire and you watched it melt away, that’s kind of how you felt now, Daryl was the fire and you were the bottle. That was the last sentence that Daryl spoke to you the entire night. The two of you laid under a makeshift tent made from several tattered blankets that you found along the way, sticks, and the only thing keeping you warm was a plastic tarp that the two of you crudely shared.

Day 4 of no normal communication with Daryl, this was the last straw and you have officially snapped. The two of you were just walking down the side of an abandoned railroad tracks when you threw your shotgun onto the ground. “That’s it I’m done.” you stayed in your spot and Daryl eventually stopped when he was several feet away from you. “What?” he asked in a sneering tone. “I’m done. Might as well just be on my own, my sanity would be just about the same. You think you’re better than me? Think that you never make mistakes?” you were finally letting it out. Daryl just stood there and you could tell he was angry because his breathing was more and more rapid, you could tell because you could see him heaving with anger. You calmed down a moment, “Just – please say something.” Throwing your arms up you were about to accept defeat.

“You want me to say somethin’?” Daryl stomped up to you and put his face into yours. “I think you’re weak and sloppy. This ain’t a vacation, this is the end of the world girl and you ain’t fit to survive anymore.” his words pierced through you like daggers. “We coulda been okay there. Coulda had food in our stomachs but you had to go and be sloppy.” you let him say his peace no matter how bad it hurt. “You done now?” you pushed him away slightly with your index finger. “I ain’t done till I say I’m done.” you picked up your shotgun, turned away and begun to walk away from him in the opposite direction. First you were walking, then jogging, then began running away from Daryl. Daryl picked his crossbow from the ground and took off in a sprint after you, you were a track star in high school and were quite a distance ahead of the archer. Daryl being an excellent tracker was able to easily track where you had run off to. You couldn’t run any further because there was an angry river blocking you from moving any further, when Daryl finally came up upon you, you dipped a foot into the roaring river and Daryl yelled at you to stop. “Y/N.. c’mon, you don’t wanna do that. You can’t make it across.” you dipped your boot in deeper, “What’s it matter? You don’t want me here with you anyways.” you noticed a walker who was trying to cross the river and get to you but the river sucked him away. “That’ll happen to you too.” Daryl walked closer to you and took your hand in his. “Come on.” he yanked you from your spot and into his grasp. You freed yourself from it and you found yourself confused by Daryl and his emotions. “Can’t you see what you’re doing to me? First you hate me and then you want to keep me safe. Why can’t you make up your mind on how you feel about me?” 

Daryl ran his dirty hand through his hair and breathed in deeply. “You made a stupid mistake but you ain’t stupid.. and I may er may not be bad with my mouth..” he placed a hand on your shoulder. “What I’m tryin’ to say is – I’m sorry.” you placed your hand over his and nodded your head. “You might wanna work on that then.” the two of you walked back towards the railroad tracks and noticed a sign that talked about a place called Terminus. “Those who arrive survive.. maybe the other’s have seen this.” with that the two of you took off towards this ‘Terminus’.

Let Me Love You

Pairing:  Dean x Reader (Female)

Summary:  Reader has an asshole boyfriend, and Dean can’t stand it any longer.

Word Count: 4.4k 

Warnings: Fluff, probably language, cheating (is that a warning?)… I don’t think there is anything else…

A/N: This is for @melbelle45 “Dirty Pop” Challenge. My song was Let Me Love You by Mario. This piece of work is trash, so I apologize in advance.

(Gifs are not mine)

Originally posted by bringmesomepie56

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I Don’t Do ‘Parents’

Prompt: Requested by Anonymous. “I have a request: plz do a punk Gerard fan fic where your dating him but your parents don’t like him because he has loads of tattoos and piercings and they think he’s a bad influence on you. You then invite him round for dinner to properly introduce him and stuff happens I don’t mind what”

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1,045

Pairing: Gerard x Reader

It’s after school and you’re standing by Gerard’s car, waiting for an answer. You had asked him weeks ago if he would come to dinner at your house so your parents could finally meet him and stop thinking he’s some terrible influence. It’s a fair assumption, if you’re into assuming the worst of people, since Gerard is covered in tattoos and has at least three piercings on his face alone. He always dresses in all black and he smokes during lunch and when he’s driving home, he’s the typical bad boy until you get to know him.

He’s sweet and kind and will take every opportunity to hold your hand and make you smile. He picks you flowers and will listen for hours when you need to complain about your mom or school. He’s the perfect boyfriend, shy and sweet and completely, hopelessly, in love with you. If only you could convince your parents of this, they think he’s some asshole from a 80s film who’s gonna smash your heart and steal your car.

“Please, Gee?” You ask, blocking the door to his car.

“I don’t do parents, you know that.” He replies and you roll your eyes.

“But this is different, we’ve been together for almost two years now and not meeting my family is getting ridiculous.”

He sighs and you watch the cigarette between his fingers drop ash to the concrete.

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Originally posted by myoldbaespice

Request: I love your stories, especially those with Derek. So here is my idea for imagine (of course ReaderxDerek ;)): reader is the same age as the pack (maybe they have classes together? or something), somehow reader meets Derek and they fall in love (nobady knows about it) and the pack learn it (about their relationship) when they met reader at loft during… certain activities. 

Author’s Note: I have been dying to do a request like this, so I’m glad that this was in my inbox! I tried to make it cute and stuff, so I hope you like it c: Enjoy!

Warnings: Language; bit o’ smut (like a teensie bit…not really anything)


It is stressful enough being a senior in high school as it is. You have to worry about college applications and acceptance letters, trying to make it to graduation without failing any classes, getting good test scores, and trying to figure out what the hell you wanna do with the rest of your life.

Now throw on moving to a completely new town where you don’t know a single person, and you have my life.

My dad moved us around a lot because of his job, so I was pretty used to it during my childhood. But once I hit high school, my parents had promised that we wouldn’t be going anywhere until after I graduated. They had been so close to keeping that promise, but when my dad got an offer he just couldn’t refuse, they made me pack up everything, leave the only friends I’d had for more than seven months, and plop down in a brand new place during my last year of high school.

I was so not happy about this new school, but I didn’t have a choice. I figured that I would make it through the rest of the year quietly, and head off to college with no worries and no strings attached to this place. 

Oh, how wrong I was.

Running helped me clear my mind. I was on the cross country team at my old school, but it was already part way through the season and too late to join here. So, I improvised. I found a perfect path that wound through the woods, excited to have somewhere private and peaceful. 

My music played in my ears, giving me a good pace to set for myself. The woods were gorgeous here, filled with old trees and covered with dead leaves. As I ran, deeper and deeper into the forest, I came across an old, abandoned building. It looked like a house that had nearly burnt to the ground. Stopping for a break, I studied it, intrigued by the structure.

“You’re on private property,” a deep voice said from behind me, making me nearly jump out of my skin. I turned to find a tall, dark-featured guy glaring at me with the greenest eyes I’d ever seen.

“Shit!” I gasped, putting my hand over my racing heart. “Who the hell are you?”

“Someone that knows you’re on private property, and should leave,” he said, making me raise a brow.

“It’s just an old house, chill out. I don’t see a hick cocking his shotgun anywhere, so I think I’m safe.” The man cracked the smallest of smiles, chuckling low in his throat. “What are you doing out here?”

“I like to walk in the woods. Calms my mind,” he replied, gaze still fixed on me. I nodded, pursing my lips.

“Well, I like to run in the woods. So I should probably get back to that,” I replied, pointing down the path. The guy nodded at me, and I gave him one last look before turning away.

“You should probably stay away from here,” he called. I looked at him over my shoulder.

“And if I don’t?”

“I’m just saying, it’s pretty dangerous around here.”

“Well, do you hang out here a lot?” I asked, giving him a pointed look. He furrowed his brows at me, and I took that a silent yes. “Then I’ll have someone to protect me.” With that, I turned around and ran in the direction of home, my heart beating faster than normal the whole way there.

I still hadn’t made any friends in school yet, but I had one.

Everyday for the next three weeks I ran in the woods, using the same path. And everyday I came across the guy I had met. As it went, I talked to him a bit longer every time, eventually sitting on the steps of the old house for over an hour, lost in conversation and laughter. I learned his name was Derek, and I liked that he was comfortable enough to tell me that. He asked about my life, and I gladly talked and talked about everything there was to know about me. He listened intently, drinking in every word. But he never talked about himself.

“Come on, Derek,” I insisted, shoving his shoulder playfully with mine. “I’ve told you all about me. I wanna know about you! Anything.”

“Anything?” he asked. I nodded eagerly, making him break into a smile as he looked out into the woods. “Alright. You know this house?” I nodded. “Well, it’s mine. Or, it was my family’s. There was a fire…most of them passed away. I like to come here to think, clear my mind, whatever.”

“Der, I’m so sorry,” I said softly, putting a hand on his knee and squeezing a bit. He shook his head at me.

“It was a long time ago. I’ve made my peace.” I offered a tiny grin before leaning my head on his shoulder, settling us into a comfortable silence. Finally, I decided I should probably head home. “Are you coming back tomorrow?”

“I can if you want me to,” I told him, giving a cheeky grin. Derek stood up and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before meeting my eyes again.

“Or, uhm, I could pick you up at 7 and we could go to dinner?” he asked, biting the inside of his cheek. I walked up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“I’d love that.”

“You look great, Y/N,” Derek told me as we walked to his car. I blushed a bit, eyes fixed on the ground.

“You only think that because you’ve only ever seen me when I’m all sweaty and gross,” I told him, slipping into the passenger seat and waiting for him to walk around to the driver’s side to hear his response. I wasn’t dressed in anything fancy, just a cute shirt and some leggings.

“No, I mean it,” he insisted once he got in the car. Derek smiled widely at me, making me chuckle as I clicked my seat belt.

“Just drive,” I mumbled. He grinned and happily obliged, pulling into the street. We made light conversation on the way to the restaurant, the atmosphere becoming more comfortable. When we got the restaurant, we continued talking, laughter floating between us as we dug into our simple meals of burgers and fries. Derek started to open up a bit more to me about his family, which absolutely made my heart swell. 

Once we left, Derek insisting on paying because, as he shyly said, it was our first date, we took a little walk around the neighborhood. I reached over tentatively, lacing my fingers through his. I wasn’t sure how he would respond, but he didn’t protest, just gave a light squeeze of approval. I smiled happily as we made our way to a small ice cream parlor, getting some cones to eat on our way back to his car. A breeze swept through, making me shiver a bit. It was a warm evening, so I hadn’t brought a jacket.

“Are you cold?” Derek asked, concern in his voice. I shook my head, trying to assure him that I was fine. “You’re shivering, Y/N. I can see it.” 

“Fine, I may be just a tad cold,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes playfully. Derek grinned and removed his leather jacket, placing it over my shoulders. 

“There,” he said softly, his voice right by my ear. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks at being so close to him, and suddenly, I wasn’t cold anymore. But I accepted the coat anyway, snuggling into it happily. The walk back to his car wasn’t very long, thankfully, and most of it was spent with him pointing things out to me about the town. I observed and nodded, trying to take in what he was saying, but it was hard to focus on anything when he was so close and he just smelled so good. 

“Thank you,” I told him, as he opened the door for me, allowing me to climb in. I settled into the seat, waiting for him to get in with a smile.

“What?” he asked, his lips curved upwards, as he saw me looking at him. I shook my head, cheeks tinting pink.

“Nothing,” I said. “I just…I had a really good time tonight. That’s all.”

“I did, too, Y/N.” Derek reached over and grabbed my hand, his green gaze holding mine in between flicking to my lips. I waited with baited breath as he started to lean over the console, getting closer and closer with every second.

When Derek’s lips finally pressed against my own, sparks shot up and down my spine. I had never felt anything like that with anyone before, and it shocked me for a moment. But then I was melting into the kiss, my mouth pressing harder against his, bringing a hand up to rest on his stubbly cheek. After several seconds, we pulled away just slightly, each of us breathing heavily.

“That was- nice,” I said, my voice cracking as I searched Derek’s eyes. His lips were slightly parted, his bunny teeth poking out from behind them as he nodded in agreement. “I uh..I’d like to do that some more.”

“Me too,” he breathed, pulling me back to him with more ferocity this time. One of his hands tangled in my hair, holding me against him. Our lips moved in sync, melding together like we were made for each other. I heard Derek let out a tiny growl as I gained confidence and bit on his bottom lip, pulling it just slightly. I smirked into the kiss at the reaction I received, proud of myself. Derek’s tongue swiped between his lips, asking for entrance that I quickly gave. I moaned softly at the taste of him, our tongues exploring and outlining each other’s mouths, learning everything there was about them. 

“I will not be able to control to myself if we keep this up,” I told him, breaking away with regret. Derek chuckled, but nodded in agreement. I leaned back in my seat, buckling up. He started the car, reaching over to grab my hand as he drove.

“You’re sure they don’t care?” Derek asked in between kisses, making me both giggle at him and get frustrated.

“I’m sure!” I insisted with a laugh. “Derek, I am 19 years old. They stopped trying to control me a long time ago.”

“But you’re still in high school,” he pointed out, pulling open the door to the loft and walking me inside hurriedly. I chuckled at his eagerness, matching it with my own.

“Technicalities,” I whispered, pressing myself against him fully. Derek groaned and grabbed my face, kissing me hard and heavy. I smiled into it, knowing that I had won. 

It had been three months since our first date, and I was having the time of my life. Derek and I spent as much time as we could together, which sometimes wasn’t a lot, but we made it work. He had told me about all the supernatural stuff, but was surprised to find that I already (sort of) knew about it. Family ties, I had said. 

“Why are you so damn irresistible?” Derek asked against my lips. I chuckled at his words, weaving my fingers through his dark hair to hold him close. He picked me up by the back of my thighs and carried us to his bed, tossing me down playfully and watching with amusement as I bounced a few times, before covering my body with his own.

That was one of my favorite things about our relationship: we could just be ourselves. It came naturally, something that I think surprised both of us. We could joke around with one another, be silly and playful, but we could still manage serious conversations and moments. Even our sex life was…fun. We were so comfortable with each other, with each other’s bodies, that every time was always fantastic.

Derek’s lips were on my neck this time, licking and nipping in all the right places to drive me wild. My hands ran all over his shoulders and arms, exploring and feeling the strong muscles there. I wouldn’t ever get enough of this, of him. He made his way down, sucking marks into my flesh every now then. To make sure they know you’re taken, he had said with a smirk after the first time he had done it.

“Get this off of me,” I breathed, struggling to throw off my shirt. Derek chuckled against me before sitting up and easily removing the pesky piece of clothing. His eyes ran over my body, taking in the sight with such a sweet look that I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest. Unexpectedly, he traced a finger over my chest, right where the pounding traitor was located.

“Your heartbeat…it’s wild,” he said quietly. I bit my lip, looking up at him to study his face. 

“Because of you.” Derek looked at me then, sharp gaze holding mine. I couldn’t break away if I tried, not that I really wanted to. I slowly sat up, running my hands up his chest and taking his shirt with me until he took the hint and threw it to the side. I held his green orbs and my fingers ghosted over his skin, feeling it spasm under my feather light touch. “Beautiful,” I whispered. 

Derek leaned down, pushing us both back into the mattress, his mouth on mine in a fiery, but slow, passion. I responded immediately, matching his actions. We were so lost in each other, in the moment, in what was about to happen, that neither of us heard anyone approaching. It wasn’t until the door of the loft flew open as Derek’s fingers were working on my jeans that we noticed them.

“Hey, Derek- whoa! Sorry!” a young man’s voice said, startling us both. My eyes were wide with shock as Derek got up off the bed, his face looking livid. His fists were clenched tightly by his sides as he stalked toward what looked like a group of teenagers.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he snarled, anger taking over. I scrambled to get up, grabbing my shirt off the floor and rushing to his side.

“It’s alright, Der, calm down,” I told him gently, putting a hand on his arm. I felt some of the tension leave his body, so I slid my hand down, lacing my fingers through his. I finally turned my attention to the group of people in front of us, already finding all their eyes on me. “Hey, aren’t you two in my english class?” I asked, pointing to the two boys that had led the march. “Scott and…Stiles, right?”

“Yeah,” they answered, cheeks flaming red. I saw their eyes flick down, and it was only then that I realized I still wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry!” I heard Derek growl at them threateningly as I pulled it over my head, covering myself.

“You’re Y/N, right? The new student?” A gorgeous girl with red hair asked. I nodded at her, offering a smile.

“And you’re…Lydia?” She nodded confirmation, grinning sweetly at me. “Yeah, I got here just about four months ago, so. Haven’t really made friends.” God, how embarrassing was that?

“Well, clearly Derek likes you,” Stiles joked, making Derek step toward him menacingly. I grabbed his arm again, pulling him back toward me. 

“Sorry about him,” I apologized. “We were just…in the middle of things. He doesn’t really like surprises.”

“Oh, we know,” Lydia mumbled, rolling her eyes a bit. I still had no idea what the hell these kids were doing here, so I tugged on Derek’s arm to get his attention.

“You gonna…explain?” I asked him. He gave me an apologetic, and annoyed, look, sighing lightly.

“Y/N, this is Scott’s pack. I’m apart of it. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you before, it’s just-”

“No, it’s fine! At least I can meet them now, right?” I said, grinning happily. Derek’s mouth turned up a bit at the corners as he nodded, leaning down to place a kiss to my forehead. 

“This is Y/N. She’s my girlfriend.”

some ppl are pointing out that sarge is red team dad and he probably, deep down, cares about grif a little. and i know he wouldn’t be in denial about it forever (i was just trying to mirror the scene in s6)

so sarge having the “don’t you DARE hurt him” talk with grif and making everyone extremely uncomfortable, and then sarge having the “uh… dont hurt grif i guess… ok maybe a little. i am not opposed to hurting grif. especially when the pain is shooting him in the head with a shotgun! but i dont want you to do it, simmons. first of all, it would take away from ME doing it! secondly, i don’t want grif coming to me and crying about his feelings because you broke his heart. honestly that is the worst thing i could imagine. it sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it! i never thought i’d say this private, but…. don’t you dare hurt grif” talk with simmons

also the “stop bugging everyone with your fake wedding planning they literally just started dating and all youre doing is making grif hungry for wedding cake” talk with donut

The Signs as Shit Dads Say

Aries: did u ask ur mum? go ask ur mum

Taurus: don’t tell ur mom

Gemini: kid “dad i’m hungry” // dad: “hi hungry, im dad” *laughs for 5 hours*

Cancer: *awkwardly stands there while you cry with lots of confused mumbling*

Leo: be honest does this make me look younger? 


Libra: no you can’t wear that go change

Scorpio: *unnecessary yelling at the tv with beer in hand*

Sagittarius: *gross bodily sounds 24/7* 

Capricorn: is that the person u dating? I got a shotgun remember if they break ur heart I will shoot them, no u are dating plz stop lying

Aquarius: dad: *dad joke, dad joke, dad joke* kid: *give him the ‘done with ur shit’ stare & walks away*

Pisces: back in my day…………. *10 years later* ……………..



A/N: Based on this prompt and other requests for another GTA fic. The heist you’ve been carefully planning for months gets disrupted by the Fake AH Crew. You decide to work with them…that is until you get your hands on the money. After you betray them, Ryan tracks you down and the two of you come to your own “arrangement”. Masterpost

Pairing: GTA Ryan/Reader

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Language, Violence & Smut

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Olicity: Ground Rules

acheaptrickandacheesyoneline said:

Dialogue prompt since you asked so nicely. Felicity and Oliver discuss the “Chatty Cathy” comment.

A/N: This got soooooo out of hand.

Originally posted by olicityismytruepairing


“So what?”

“Chatty Cathy, huh?”

“Don’t give me that look, I was really mad at you, Oliver.”


“Still am, a little.”

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The car that Steve chose in Civil War is literally so small that I imagine he picked it as Sam and Bucky’s get along car.

“When you’re both willing to be civil to each other,” Steve says while he drives, the top of his head rubbing the ceiling, “then we can borrow a bigger car.”

“Or Sam can just fly behind us,” Bucky mutters, and Sam is like, “oh I KNOW you aren’t trying to use my Falcon wings as an insult, I know you aren’t even trying that, because that doesn’t make any sense,” and Bucky is like “Well STOP RECLINING YOUR SEAT INTO ME, ASSHOLE” and Sam is like, “WELL MAYBE IF YOU JUST ASKED NICELY” and Steve just turns up the radio (it’s NPR pledge week, he finds the sound very comforting) and thinks really hard and with great determination about how much fun they’re all gonna have when they are all friends

My brothers best friend pt.1

I am dripping in sweat and probably covered in dirt, playing football tho was my life, that’s all I ever did, my brother on the other hand he had different way of expressing himself, he turned to music,weed and alcohol, yep you guessed it my brother is Nathan Maloley, the rapper.
My name is Rosalie Alice Maloley (I made it up) and I’m 19 years old and well a big tomboy, my best friends are Delany Luh and Emily Wilkinson, we have been together since day 1 and I can count on them for anything but, not this.
I have had the biggest crush on Derek, but he always though I was a kid, so I’m going to show him I’m not, tonight is my 19 birthday party and well he is coming as well.

I just came home from a football game, I walk in and see Derek,John and Nate on the couch obviously high, I roll my eyes and close the door and drop my bag on the floor and going to the kitchen, walking in Del and Em are there, they greet me with a hug but then Derek walks in, Del and Em leave, I grab myself a bottle of water before going to my room upstairs but Derek stops me by grabbing my hand.
“You look hot and sweaty” he smirks, I groan and snatch my hand from his and walk upstairs, he got so high he’s even being nice to me.
I run myself a bubbly bath and grab my phone and a glass of wine before getting in.

In the I decided to call,Sammy because me and him go way back, we have a flirty yet friendly relationship and I love him for it, he picks up after the second ring.
“What?” his voice groggy and deep, sexy.
“Hello to you too” I chuckle and so does he, me and him made a plan to make Derek jealous, Sammy and I are gonna fake date,and well we are going to tell everyone about it,tonight but everyone will think we actually are dating.
After 2 hours of talking to Sam, the water started to get cold, we said our goodbyes and I walked out of the bathroom with a towel around me, walking into my room Del and Em are on the bed laughing their asses off, as soon as they see me they stop and jump to the closet, I shake my head and chuckle, they called “shotgun” to choose an outfit for my party, and I HAVE to wear it, after a good hour or so, this is what it looked like , I actually did like it.

A knock on the door interrupted our little chat,a grinning Sammy walked in making Emily roll her eyes, he hugged me and his hands did go a bit lower making Emily cough, this time he rolled his eyes “I’m allowed to touch my girlfriend” he said and the girls chocked on, well nothing.I giggled a bit, the girls look at me and I nod, Sammy takes my hand and we walk downstairs together, all eyes were on us, everyone was confused but only 2 faces stood out mad, Nate and Derek.The music was loud and everyone was having fun, until Del and Em walked on the little stage with a microphone, they gave the most embarrassing speech ever, next was Sam, he walked on stage looking a bit nervous, he grabs the mike “Hello everyone” he say and everyone whoo’s as a response “Today, is a very special day for a very special person and I am so glad I get to be a part of her life, not just as a friend but as her boyfriend” he says and everyone cheers in response, I got pushed my some people on stage, he grabs my hand and helps me up, he kissed me! That took me by surprise but I kissed back and wrapped my hands around his neck, cheers interrupt our moment.We apart and smile to the crowd, I look at Derek and he smirks before leaving, I hop off the stage and run after him, I go to the little back yard, it was empty.“Derek?” I shout and a hand covers my mouth.   

ir-anuk  asked:

"Give me a hand." Tex & Sarge

It’s been a bad day.

Item one: Grif continues, against all reasonable expectation, to be alive and breathing. The fact that this item has topped Sarge’s list every day for years makes it no less disappointing.

Item two: In the wake of Red Team’s latest and greatest staff meeting, Simmons is sulking. While this is also par for the course, Sarge figures he could probably do without the loud sighs and muttered diatribes about optimal efficiency. And speaking of optimal efficiency…

Item three: Lopez has a bug. It’s clearly the opening volley in an act of mechanical warfare on the part of the Blues, but he hasn’t managed to work out exactly how they’ve managed to enact their dastardly plan. Lopez seems completely at the mercy of what Sarge has dubbed the Raised Middle Finger Protocol. Revenge will be sure and swift. Poor old Lopez.

Item four: Donut has been absent from his post for nearly three hours. Sarge is prepared to rally a thoroughly violent rescue mission once they reach Red Team’s agreed-upon Official Suspicious Absence Time of five hours and fifteen minutes, which was determined after one too many incidents that involved chasing after absent team members who turned out to be absent for perfectly innocuous reasons. No sense overusing that joke.

Until then, though, he’s going to be working on the jeep, and few things distract him from a bad day like engine grease, woefully inadequate tools, and the prospect of violence before lunch. He’s started humming a new jingle all about Grif’s sudden and untimely demise when he becomes aware of a figure standing behind him. 

“Donut! Where were you all this–” He turns around. Stops dead.

“This was a terrible idea,” says Tex, and yanks his shotgun out of his hands the second he brings it to bear. “C’mere,” she says. “Give me a hand.”

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