stop making faces

3

#so much tongue #so little time

“hello,” the dark lord said, “i need a library card.”

“everyone needs a library card,” the librarian said brightly, sliding a form across the desk. “fill this out.”

the dark lord produced her own elaborately plumed quill from the depths of her robes and scrawled her name in handwriting that was completely illegible but seemed to whisper the secrets of the dark from the blinding white page. “yes, but i need mine in order to take over the tri-kingdom area.”

the librarian’s polite smile barely faltered. “funny, the last dark lord to try that didn’t bother with a card.”

“yes, and do you see that fool currently ruling our kingdom? no. of course not. utterly ridiculous, to attempt to take over any size country without a library card, much less an intermediate-sized one like this.” she accepted the thin plastic card with a gracious flourish of her gloved hand.

the librarian, adding the new card’s number to the database, privately agreed, but chose not to say anything.


the librarian balanced the pile of pulled books under one elbow and held the list of call numbers in their hand for easy consultation. “intermediate spell casting for grades three and four,” they murmured, running fingers along the peeling spines until they found it. “willing to bet that’s sorrel’s request.”

they fit the large, paperbound book under their elbow and moved on, checking the list again. “magical creatures encyclopedia, L through M. that’s jackaby trying to finish the entire set by midsummer.” they would get that one last to carry it around the shortest amount of time.

“next — the complete guide to raising the dead.” they paused in front of the row of shelves with the right call numbers. they could guess the requester of that one too, but knew better than to say it out loud.


the return slot thunked loudly as it swung open and closed, having swallowed the returned books with a wet gulp.

“good morning,” the dark lord said pleasantly as she looked up from sliding her books in — or as pleasantly as “good morning” could sound when it was uttered by a voice that sounded like gravel being chewed to pieces by the jaws of a large monster.

“it is, very,” the librarian said crisply, conjuring a clean handkerchief for the still-slobbering return slot.

the mouth just visible under the dark lord’s enormous cloak hood curved into a scythe’s blade smile, but she said nothing else.

“did you enjoy your books?” the librarian asked, since she wasn’t moving and there were no other people waiting (most likely because of the dark lord standing there).

the hood nodded up and down. “extremely. especially the taped lecture by doctor dramidius ardorius of the dark arts institute.”

“well, we have many more taped lectures. i especially recommend the one on the healing powers of tea.” they tilted their head in a now get out sign. the poor steam-powered self-checkout contraption would get overheated if people were too scared to check out at the front desk.

they didn’t really expect the dark lord to take the recommendation seriously, but the next day they noticed the cloaked, hooded specter glide out the door with the taped lecture on magic-infused herbal teas tucked between a CD of dark chants and a step-by-step art book on drawing occult symbols.


“you give good recommendations,” the dark lord said with a shrug when the librarian raised their eyes from the front desk’s computer to the shadows of her hood.

the librarian wasn’t sure what to say. “you seem to take up quite a lot of my time.”

“i’m only a simple library patron,” the dark lord replied in a saintly voice that resembled a dragon coughing up a partially digested house. “do you enjoy mermaid song?”

“yes. you can find the library’s collection in the CD section over there.” they looked pointedly back down at the computer.

“i hear there’s a concert on the shore tomorrow evening.”

“perhaps we’ll get a recording of it.”


the dark lord continued taking out books on various unsavory topics. the librarian continued suggesting books on healing, positive thinking, and community service. the dark lord seemed more amused with each visit. her smile was almost charming, once you got past the long, sharp teeth.


the librarian was trying to go about their usual morning ritual of pulling books that had been requested the night before, but the dark lord wouldn’t stop making faces at them from behind gaps in the shelves. she seemed to find it hilarious. the librarian hadn’t decided yet if they were amused or annoyed.

“ooh, look at this,” the dark lord said, pulling a sturdy but beaten up board book featuring a werewolf mid-transformation on the cover from the shelf. “this was my favorite when i was just a little menace.”

“somehow i’m not surprised.”

the dark lord tucked the book into the ridiculous basket made of a large skull that floated alongside her. “didn’t you have a favorite picture book when you were little?”

“Barker the Sentient Book End,” the librarian said promptly. “i screamed for it every night until someone read it to me, long after i’d already memorized each page.”

the dark lord cooed, sounding like a cross between an owl and something eating an owl. “adorable. i knew you had a little monster in you somewhere.”

the librarian crossly debated denying being a monster at all or pointing out they had actual kraken blood in them.


they should have guessed how close the dark lord was from how good her mood was, but it wasn’t until they arrived at work on monday that the librarian heard the news.

“the newest dark lord managed to overthrow the faeyrie monarchy last night. something about combining traditional herbal spells with a newfangled mental magic based on the power of willful thinking… or something. the news reporter mentioned the use of mermaid song in a mild kind of mind control, i think? i wasn’t listening. the good news is, our budget stays in place.”

the librarian contemplated hurling the can of bookmarks across the room, but concluded that it would be both unprofessional and unsatisfying. they settled for aggressively stamping returned, only slightly saliva-covered books with red ink.


the phone clicked loudly. “public library, how can i help you?”

“by taking my offer,” the dark lord said, slightly hesitant voice like a rock slide that wasn’t sure it was ready to slide. “the royal library in the capital needs a new head librarian.”

“why’s that?” the librarian spun in their new swivel chair, tangling the phone cord while they were at it, thinking they wouldn’t want to leave so soon after getting it.

there was a cough like the ocean spitting out a new island. “erm, hmm, last one got… eaten. tragic. these things happen when you’re very, very small, you know.”

“so i’ve heard.” the librarian stretched the phone cord and watched it bounce back. “well, i’m happy where i am.”

“well.” her voice was more disappointed than they’d expected. “it’s a very nice library, you know. large selection of mermaid song in the CD section.”

“the royal library is part of our system. i can request any materials from there that i want to be delivered here.”

a pause. the dark lord had not considered this. “well, maybe i’ll take the royal library out of the system.”

“you wouldn’t dare disrupt the workings of our very intricate library system set up at the dawn of time.”

“maybe i would!”

“no.”

“fine. i wouldn’t.”

the librarian swiveled some more, wrapping the cord around with them until it ran out of give and spun them in the other direction. “would you like to grab a coffee sometime?”

“yes,” the dark lord said, voice too surprised to resemble anything in particular. “i can travel down meet you tomorrow morning.”

“don’t you have things to do?”

they could sense the shrug from the other end of the line. “i’ll move the capital to your town. i can do that, you know. i’m the supreme ruler of the tri-kingdom area.”

“yes,” the librarian agreed, un-spinning to return the phone to its cradle. “just don’t forget who gave you the library card.”

anonymous asked:

hi Ally,,, as some one who's trying to get the hang of drawing expressions and faces in general I was wondering if you had any tips as to how to make it more natural?? like I find myself drawing the same expression every time on different characters and I feel like it's hard to change it up with out making it look strange :/

this is a very psychological barrier that i also face!! sometimes we’re in the mindset that oooo gotta draw our characters glamourous/pretty that dramatic expressions that stretch the face feels like it’s ruin that, so you have to start with an open mind and be ready to stretch that mouth a little longer, raise those brows a little higher, etc.

having a mirror beside you to reference from your own expression is very helpful as well! here’s my tag for expression tutorials and refs

list of things in look what you made me do that were fucking amazing:

  • the TS as the camera hovers above the clouds 
  • ‘Here Lies Taylor Swift’s Reputation’ followed by 1989 era zombie Taylor in the Out of the Woods blue dress (her last video of the 1989 era, excluding New Romantics which was tour footage) climbing back up from the dead
  • The tilted headstones which she ‘fixes’
  • Nils Sjoberg, the pseudonym Taylor wrote This Is What You Came For under was seen on a gravestone
  • The $1 note in the bathtub that she won from her recent sexual assault trial whilst bathing in riches, a dig at people who accused her of being money hungry (whether it be the trial or in general)
  • The numerous references to snakes…. the snake ring, sitting on a throne with snakes around her, swinging in a snake cage… then sipping her tea on the throne
  • ‘Et Tu Brute’ is written on her throne and the on the columns of that shot (used to express surprise and dismay at the treachery of a supposed friend)
  • The Grammy in her hand when she crashes the car. The car is a maserati. ‘Maserati down a dead-end street…’ I wonder what song that lyric is from? Did you say Red by Taylor Swift? And she’s holding a grammy? RRRRRRrrrrandom access memories? Hmm
  • As she swings in the snake cage, everyone guards her… a metaphor for how she was treated during that time 
  • Literally wearing a cathead and a ‘Blind for Love’ sweater, she robs a bank titled ‘Stream Co.’, referencing how everyone says she’s money-hungry since when she removed her money from Spotify and the Apple Music letter 
  • The names of all her friends are on her Junior Jewels shirt
  • The word Squad flashed on screens as all these women are aligned up, wearing similar wear to the Bad Blood music video, referencing how everyone kept categorising her friends as a ‘Squad’ even though she’s never explicitly called it that or intended for it to be that 
  • Coming into the room and having a scribe immediately write stuff down. When people described her as a ‘Diva’
  • The ‘I Love TS’ croptops the dancers wear…. a reference to a shirt an ex of her wore last year and people dragged her for that
  • Standing on top of all old versions of her from the You belong with Me video, Shake It Off video, WANEGBT video, Fearless Tour, The Red Tour, Out of the Woods…. as she declares ‘The Old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now… cause she’s dead….’
  • The ending dialogue, where variations of Taylor appear, throwing back everyone’s joke: ‘Stop making that surprised face, it’s so annoying’, ‘What’s with that bitch? Don’t call me that?, ‘Y’all!’, ‘Stop acting like you’re all nice, you are so fake!’, ‘Oh there she goes, playing the victim again’, ‘HISS!’, ‘What are you doing? Getting receipts! Gonna edit this later!’, ‘Uh, I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative…. SHUT UP!’
Full list of references in Taylor’s LWYMMD music video (in order)
  • Nils Sjoberg gravestone - The pseudonym she used when ghostwriting TIWYCF with Calvin Harris
  • Bathtub full of gems - Referencing what Taylor said about her persona in Blank Space music video (“like she jets sets around the world, collecting men and she can get any of them but she’s so clingy that they leave and then she cries in her marble bathtub surrounded by pearls’”)
  • Single dollar in bathtub - Sexual assault lawsuit trial against David Mueller where she countersued for $1 and won 
  • Throne of snakes - Kimye/Famous phone call incident, aka “Taylor Swift is #Exposed as a snake” 
  • Et tu brute? - Reference to Shakespeare when Julius Caesar was betrayed and stabbed in the back by someone he thought a friend (Katy Perry & stealing dancers incident?)
  • Car crash scene - (“Driving a Maserati down on a dead end street”) 2014 Grammy’s when she was made fun of for thinking she won Album of the Year (aka Red should’ve deserved a Grammy)
  • Car crash outfit/look - Resemblance to Katy Perry; reference to her feud with Katy (plus, a possible dig at her having 0 grammy’s while taylor has 10)
  • Robbing a bank called “Stream Co” - Taylor’s battle with Spotify/streaming services, for which she was called “money hungry” and “greedy”
  • Army of mannequins scene - Criticism of her group of famous friends aka “girl squad” being a cult of all skinny, pretty white girls/models
  • I <3 TS Shirts of Male Dancers - Referencing Tom Hiddleston wearing a I <3 TS shirt; referencing the media mockery of her relationship with Tom Hiddleston


[END SCENE WITH 15 TAYLORS]

  • Her Surprise Face (“stop making that surprised face, it’s so annoying” “you can’t possibly be that surprised all the time” ) - Reference to people making fun of her for looking so surprised/shocked at award shows
  • “What’s with that bitch?” “DON’T CALL ME THAT” - Reference to Kanye’s “Famous”; how she was never told that he would refer to her as “bitch” in the song
  • “Oh, stop acting like you’re so nice, you are so fake” - Reference to criticism of Taylor being “fake” and not the friendly/nice/sweet girl she “poses” as
  • “Oh there she goes, playing the victim, again” - Reference to common criticism of Taylor always “playing the victim” 
  • “Getting receipts, gonna edit this later” - Reference to Kim K’s (clearly edited) recording of phone conversation between Taylor and Kanye 
  • “I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative” - Reference to Taylor’s response to Kim K’s recording 

how fan girls/boys see Ink:

Ink is so precious and I absolutely adore how innocent he is #sopure

how Ink actually is:

I would sell you to satan for one- what was I saying.

3

“So stop making that face at me…”

6

“I’m proud of him. And he’s one of those people that doesn’t… He’s not going to be proud of himself so I’m extra proud of him, you know what I mean? Doesn’t brag about things. He just works really hard and believes himself, which is really cool. It’s a good dad for your kids.” -Kaitlin Olson about her husband Rob McElhenney

i loved when ootw taylor and shake it off taylor  told ybwm taylor to stop making that surprise face cause she can’t be surprised all the time and then lwymmd taylor #1 called ootw taylor a bitch and ootw taylor was like don’t call me that and then fearless taylor just say’s y’all and wanegbt taylor is just like oh stop acting all nice, you are so fake and fearless taylor starts crying and wanegbt taylor makes a disgusted face and lwymmd taylor #2 goes and says there she goes, playing the victim again. then lwymmd taylor #3 hisses and while lwymmd taylor #4 is on her phone taking pics of fearless taylor crying, 2009 vma taylor is playing with her vma and then says i would very much like to be excluded from this narrative and then all the taylors tell her to shut up