Summary: Bucky starts dating a girl from his History of Art class. The only problem: you’re in love with him. College AU.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: lil bit of this, lil bit of that
A/N: I remember back in 5th grade I got an A+ on a paper I wrote about how fun it was to collect rocks lmao.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Steve spat at his childhood best friend.
It had been three days since you had confessed your love for Bucky and he was now telling Sam and Steve about it.
“Right? I mean how could she do that to me? How could she put me in such a situation where-”
“No, Bucky,” Steve cut him off. “How stupid are you? I mean honestly, Buck, how fucking idiotic do you have to be to blame Y/N for – well, for having feelings for you.”
Bucky scoffed. “Steve, it’s fucked up.”
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Sam agrees as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“It’s fucked up because I have a girlfriend-”
“Yeah we know that already.” Sam spat.
Bucky shot his friend a mean look before continuing. “-and she knows that. Now I’m in an awkward position.”
“Awkward position?” Steve repeats and the long haired brunette nods.
“Yeah. She’s in love with me but I’m in a relationship. Awkward position. I don’t know what to do.”
Sam scoffs. “Here’s a suggestion; get your head out of your ass and accept the fact that you feel the same towards Y/N.”
“But I don’t.”
“You know, you don’t have to listen to what I’m saying.” Bucky huffed.
“You’re right, I don’t.” Sam stood up from the couch. “It’s bullshit anyways.”
The blonde and brunette watched as Sam walked over to the door with intentions to leave but was stopped when he opened the door to a fuming Natasha. Sam opened his mouth to greet the red head but was cut off by her pushing him out of the way.
She stormed over to Bucky, standing in front of him as he sat on the couch.
“Hey Nat, What’s u-”
He was cut off when her hand made contact with his cheek. Hard. The brunette cups his cheek, mouth gaped and he looked up at the red head in bewilderment.
“What the fuck did you do to Y/N?!” she shouts, becoming angrier just by looking at Bucky.
“W-What do you mean? I-”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Barnes! She’s been locked up in her room for three fucking days. She hasn’t been going to her classes, I don’t even know if she’s been eating or staying hydrated!” she exclaimed.
“How do you know it’s me who’s done something? For all you know it could be someone else!” Bucky replied.
“Because, you inconsiderate piece of dog shit, Wanda and I went into her room at check up on her and when we asked what was wrong the only thing she said was your name before she started crying so I ask again; what the fuck did you do to Y/N.” it wasn’t a question. It was more of ‘tell me or else I’ll murder you’. He didn’t have a choice.
Bucky gulped. “I… well I… it’s kind of-”
“He rejected Y/N.” Sam says for him. “But that’s not all. It wasn’t just a ‘oh I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way, I have a girlfriend’ he made her feel like shit. He yelled at her for having feelings for him, made her cry and didn’t bother to stop until, of course Kristen came.”
Bucky looked at Natasha whose eyes were shooting daggers into him. He genuinely feared for his life, even more so when she lunged at him but was pulled back by Steve.
“I’m going to fucking kill you!” she shouted as she struggled to get free. “I can’t fucking believe you, Bucky! She tells you how she feels about you and then you pull some bullshit like this!”
“Woah, woah, woah, how about we talk about the fact that you all knew she was in love with me yet none of you guys even bothered to tell me?!” he looked around at his friends.
“Because it wasn’t for us to tell! It was how she felt, not how we felt! She had to be the one to tell you!” the red head replied.
“Well why the hell did she wait five fucking years?!” Bucky yelled as he stood up. “Why’d she wait till I was in a relationship?!”
“Because she was scared!” Natasha gave up and let Steve hold her back. She let out a huff and fixed her hair that had landed in her face. “I told her to tell you how she felt before it was too late. It was eating her up, Bucky. I couldn’t stand there and watch my best friend slowly get her heart broken but seeing her like this, right now at this moment,” she shakes her head. “it breaks my heart. You’ve completely broken her, Bucky.”
She breaks free from Steve’s grasp and walks over to the door. Glancing over her shoulder at the brunette, she shakes her head again. “A simple ‘I don’t feel the same way, I’m sorry’ would have sufficed.”
And she was gone.
It was quiet. Sam and Steve watched Bucky who was looking down at the floor, walking around the living room.
“Buck.” Steve said softly.
Bucky reached out and grabbed a vase that they had bought for decoration and smashed it on the floor, startling both Steve and Sam.
“God damnit!” he yelled. “God fucking d-” he stopped mid-sentence to knock over the little coffee table, kicking it until it was ruined.
“Bucky, calm down.” Steve says, walking over to his friend who swung around.
“Look what I did, Steve. Look. I ruined Y/N – I ruined my relationship with her! Why? Because I’m a fucking asshole who can’t admit the god damn truth!”
“What do you mean you can’t admit the truth? What truth?” he questioned.
Bucky scoffed. “Oh, as if you guys didn’t know.” He rolled his eyes. “I like Y/N.”
“Wait,” Sam jumps over the couch to join Steve and Bucky. “So you’re telling me that you rejected Y/N, yelled at her for having feelings for you but you feel the same way towards her?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “It’s stupid, I know but throughout the years of knowing her I learned what her type was. Every time she would say someone was cute, they would fit right into her type of guys that she likes. Even past guys she’s liked all into the type of guys she likes.”
“What type of guys does she like?” Steve pressed on.
“She likes preppy, high-classed guys. Guys who gel their hair and keep it nice, guys who probably go golfing and wear polos. That’s the kind of guy she likes and do you think I fall under that? Hell no. I’m nowhere close to that so why even try?” he plops down on the couch and rubs his face with his hands. “When I kissed her on New Year’s it was the best fucking kiss I’ve ever had. I’d kiss her over and over again if I could. I thought she liked it, hell, I did but afterwards she said nothing. Just stared at me. The car ride home, nothing. Not even a goodnight when we went to sleep. She laid on the opposite side of her bed just to get away from me.
“I tried getting over her. All those girls I’ve went on dates with never even compared to Y/N but I knew I had to get over her. That’s when I met Kristen and she was pretty cool. I like her. But that’s it.” Bucky sighed and looked up at Sam and Steve. “That day in the hallway, when she told me she was in love with me, it was all I’ve ever wanted to hear. But it irritated me because why wait so damn long? Why wait until I’m getting over her to tell me how she felt? I get it, she was scared, I understand that but just… why?”
There was a pause before he sighed. “For a split second I thought Vis told her that I was in love with her and she was just saying all of that, just playing with my emotions which was why I acted so mean.”
“Wait, Vis knew?” Steve questioned and Bucky nodded. “How the hell did he know but I didn’t?”
“It’s not something I was broadcasting to the world, Steve.” He rolled his eyes. “Vis came over to hang out but I was finishing up my art project and he found my sketch book – well he didn’t find it, it was just laying on my bed – anyways he looked through my sketch book and I have… a lot of drawings of Y/N and some other sappy things. I guess it’s like my diary except I don’t express my feelings through words, I express them through drawings.”
Sam and Steve nod before Bucky continued.
“I wanted to throw myself into Y/N’s arms, to hold her and kiss her but I couldn’t. Especially when Kristen came. I had forgotten she was coming over.” The brunette sighs. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Big time, my friend.” Sam pats his shoulder.
“What should I do? I have to talk to her. I have to make things right, to tell her that-that I feel the same way. She needs to know-”
“Slow your roll, Bucky.” Steve says. “Give her some time. And don’t forget that you need to talk to Kristen first. She deserves to know what’s happening… also you don’t want to go over to Y/N’s right now, I’m sure Natasha’s still pissed and Wanda will definitely be pissed. You won’t make it out alive.”
Bucky sits back on the couch and sighs. “You’re right, you’re right. I’ll go talk to Kristen tomorrow.”
It had now been day five since you confessed your love for Bucky and today was your first time back in class. The day had went by smoothly and you were in your last class of the day which just so happened to be your creative writing class. The class had ended and you took your time packing up. When you looked around, everyone had left and it was now just you and your professor.
You walked over to her desk and she greeted you with a warm smile. “What can I do for you miss Y/L/N?”
“I actually wanted to talk to you about my last paper. Y’know, the one where we had to write about the time we felt the most pain in our lives?” you say and your professor nods.
“Ah, yes. It wasn’t your best work.” She frowned.
“I know which was why I came to ask you if there was a possibility that I could rewrite it. I know it’s a long shot but I know I could do so much better.”
Your professor thinks it over before nodding. “I’ll let you rewrite it but only because I know you can do better. Your writing is amazing. That and I let a few other students rewrite theirs.”
You smile. “Thank you so much.”
“Not a problem.” She responds. “Turn it in by Friday.”
With a nod and another thank you, you leave the classroom and make your way to your car.
As you arrived at your apartment building, you looked around for Bucky’s car. You didn’t want to bump into him. You hadn’t seen him for 5 days, he had been ignoring you but it was probably for the better. You wouldn’t be able to be in the same room with him without crying.
You make it into your apartment without running into anyone and see Natasha and Wanda sitting on the couch. They turn their heads to you and you flash them a smile, although it wasn’t a big one.
“Hey guys.” You greet. “What’re you guys doing home?”
“I don’t have softball practice today.” Wanda says.
“Yeah and I just have nothing to do.” Nat shrugged.
“You’re not hanging out with Bruce today?” you questioned, locking up the door.
“Nah, he’s out with Tony and Steve.” She responds. You nod your head slowly all while Natasha and Wanda watched you like and eagle watching its prey.
“How are you feeling?” Natasha asks.
“Uh… good – better than yesterday so we’re getting somewhere.” you smile.
“That’s good.” She nods.
The three of you stare at each other before you clear your throat. “Well I’m gonna go in my room now.”
“No, stay out here and watch a movie with us!” Wanda exclaimed and Nat nods her head in agreement.
“Maybe later. I have to rewrite something for my creative writing class. It won’t take long, I promise.” You say.
“Okay. We’ll let you pick the movie.” Natasha replies.
You nod and disappear into your room. You throw your bag onto your bed before sitting down on your chair and sighing. The last time you sat in this chair was when you were writing for your last paper and Bucky was sitting on your bed just-
“No.” you say. “I’m not going to think about him.”
You turn around and get your notebook and pen out of your bag before setting them on your desk. You take one look at your blank piece paper before starting to write.
What is pain? Pain is that heart-wrenching feeling you get. You know, the one where your heart physically clenches and you feel like you can’t breathe.
I didn’t know what real pain felt like until now. I just thought pain was the feeling you got when you fell and scraped your knee or - in my case - when you fall off your roof and your thigh gets impaled by a shard of glass.
That’s what I thought pain was.
I never thought about the pain you get when you tell the person that you’ve been in love with for five years that you’re in love with them only for them to not feel the same way. It hurts.
Now I know I could give you the short version and be done with this quickly but I’d rather not.
This is about the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. This is about my first heartbreak.
It all started years ago with my best friend James….
A/N: I’M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS PART WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HOPE YA ENJOY, TELL ME WHAT YA THINK!