stop it and have good make out sessions please you're good at it

R: Their s/o calls them during a breakdown while they’re busy.

Requested by anonymous:

Could you do bts reaction when their gf call them while they’re in practice/studio abd cry (breakdown) in the line and asking them to come home bc they’re her only family and how they’ll handle the situation?

A/N: I love suffering :) got nothing else to say, enjoy !


Keep reading

supreciousgirl  asked:

I read on the tag somewhere that you're not into baby headcanon?It's cool tho I am sad because that means you'd never answer my ask which I sent ages ago... But how about this, let's try my luck. Reactions: the lords (and any side fellas/ninjas you want) on MC's pregnancy, buuuutttt plot twist: they're not the father!

Oohhhh helloooooo!

Lol, yes, you read right (I’m sorry!) I’m not particularly into babies and kids headcanon, not that I hate them but it’s just I have no plan on becoming anybody’s parent and there are many, many great writers in this fandom who do these headcanon justice and more (FLUFFY FLUFFY GOODNESS) so yeah, I’m not the best person (AT ALL) to send these asks to.

That being said. OH, MY GOD

“The lords (and any side fellas/ninjas you want) on MC’s pregnancy, buuuutttt plot twist: they’re not the father!”

WHY. Okay, when I first read this I thought this ask was an ATOMIC ANGST BOMB, but hey, I read that again and hmmm,  it could be a happy HC actually lol. I was assuming when this happened MC is in a relationship with that particular lord and HGSAHVDHMBJHBJKJHVGHHH

NTR (netorare = cuckold) trope could be perversely exciting but let’s not go there (I don’t have the mental capacity - it’s beyond me) and make these characters happy aite?

Headcanon after the break.

Keep reading

You’re My Everything-Jimin Angst

Angst; Fluff 
Word Count: 2752

“Minsun!! Come over!” I shouted into my phone. 

I hadn’t seen Jimin in 4 days, he said he was busy with practice. I understood since after 2 years of dating, it had happened a few times. 

“What? Isn’t Jimin there? Why do I need to come over?” She asked, concern in her tone.

“He is busy with practice. It’s been 4 days. I’ll tell you more when you come over, yeah?” I said, pulling at the plain black shorts that rested at my mid thigh. 

“Alright, alright. Coming.” She said, hanging up after. 

I sat on the couch, waiting. Thinking of Jimin, if he was okay, if he was eating enough, if he was rested enough. 


“Don’t worry, (Y/N). I’ll make sure that he eats.” Jungkook said, ruffling my hair. 

“You know I hate it when you do that.” I said, flattening my hair.

“But I can! We are the same age.” Jungkook said, winking. 

He gave me a tight hug, saying that we would go out to the mall soon. He walked out the door, his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. 


I was pulled back into reality when I heard a knock at the front door and faint yells from outside. 

“(Y/N)!!! I’m here!! Open open open!!” I heard an excited voice shout out. 

I opened the door and Minsun walked in. I looked at her with wide eyes. 

“Why are you so excited? You sounded pretty tired on the phone.” I said, closing the door and locking it. 

I walked to the small table near the living room by the window. We sat there and then she spoke. 

“I brought snacks.” She said, dumping out a pile of snacks onto the table. 

“You’re crazy.” I scoffed, taking the snack she offered me. 

We started talking as we munched on the snacks she had brought and sipped on the water bottles I took out from the fridge. I told her about how Jimin was gone for a few days, and I just felt lonely.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

''Please, don't do this.'' Shance (also I hope you're having a good day)

Good morning! Thank you, btw! And this one will surprise you ;)
“Please, don’t do this.” Shiro pleaded, Lance raising an eyebrow in challenge. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.” He hissed, holding the gun up higher, aiming at Shiro.
“Because it’s going to make a mess and Coran will make you clean it up.” Shiro deadpanned, completely serious. Lance merely grinned. “Not good enough!” The Blue Paladin chirped. “Pidge! Hit it!” He called back to his partner in crime. Pidge smirked and activated the goo machine, Lance firing a stream of sticky green sludge at the other team consisting of Keith, Shiro, and Hunk, all of whom shrieked (Keith would deny this later, but Allura had recorded proof.) and dived out of the way.
Yup. It was a food war. Lance and Allura had planned this ahead of time, a new way to de-stress since the team had been run ragged lately. It was during one of Lance and Allura’s gossiping sessions that Lance had mentioned the Food War of ‘16, back at the Garrison. Allura had become quite fascinated with the idea, and wanted to experience one.
So, they mashed the idea with a way to help the team out and came up with this.
Allura giggled as she nailed Keith in the face with a well aimed food glob, said Paladin flailing and wiping the goo off hurriedly. Everyone was armed with sporks and trays, while Lance manned the main goo dispenser, spraying everyone who got too close.
Eventually, they had to stop because of Coran. He lectured them for destroying the kitchen, though he was glad they had fun, they needed to do it “in more appropriate areas.”
After the showers, Lance was happily snuggled into Shiro’s lap, satisfyingly tired after the food fight earlier. It was quiet time right now, everyone sprawled out around the room, already asleep. Shiro hummed softly and ran his human hand through Lance’s hair, which made the Blue Paladin purr in delight.
They eventually drifted off to sleep like the others, exhausted after the long day.
Ha I bet you expected angst, right? FOILED AGAIN! lol just joking, there will be more angst in a bit :) I just needed to write some fluff after waking up…..*yawns* right, time to finish the other prompts!!! :D

anonymous asked:

You're writing is so amazing omg keep up the good work! ;w; Can I request Male! MC headcanons? If this request is already done can you please send me the link to it? Thank chu and have a good day. ^^

Of course! We need more Male!MC tbh  (And thank you so much!) 

I’m writing it where they knew MC is a guy when he joined the chat 


  • He and MC got along pretty much as soon as MC joined 
  • They chatted the most out of everyone in the group and shared a lot of hobbies 
  • and then Yoosung started developing a crush on him 
  • he was so nervous 
  • “is this why i never had a girlfriend?” 
  • He’s too scared to confess to MC and MC ends up being the one confessing to Yoosung 
  • They both expected to be nervous to meet each other at the party but honestly it was the nicest thing 
  • After the party they were always around each other 
  • a lot of cuddle sessions 
  • they take turns with being big spoon/little spoon
  • There is also a lot of PDA 
  • He steals MC’s clothes a lot 
  • Good luck trying to buy new clothes because he will be wearing them as soon as MC brings them home 


  • He was actually pretty quick to fall for MC 
  • at least in the chat room MC always made him laugh, and he was so funny and cute and god he couldn’t handle it 
  • He was so used to flirting with girls he honestly wasn’t sure how to flirt with a guy at first 
  • He’s pretty awkward at first 
  • “I’m attractive, you’re attractive. Let’s date” 
  • Zen you don’t know what MC looks like 
  • He eventually flirts like a normal person too 
  • when they met in person Zen was pretty quick to kiss MC 
  • MC was worried that them dating might affect Zen’s career 
  • so they were pretty careful at first
  • and it hurt Zen so much that he couldn’t kiss MC in public :’(((
  • but after a while of pictures of them two always together being posted online some people were starting to suspect something 
  • There were a lot of comments online with “omg I ship them!!!” or “No they’re just friends” 
  • Eventually they started showing more PDA and he didn’t say anything about until he was asked 
  • “Yeah he’s my boyfriend” 
  • there were fans who were upset bc that means they can’t date him but overall people were pretty supportive 
  • He loves talking about how MC is the best boyfriend in the world tbh 


  • He didn’t care what gender MC is when he joined 
  • the rest of the RFA notice when Jumin warms up to MC and the does Jumin Han is gay jokes don’t stop 
  • And he doesn’t really question anything with MC’s gender when he feels he’s becoming closer to MC 
  • He get’s really attached to MC 
  • He was a little nervous about meeting MC he didn’t show it though
  • because what if these feelings he has are not there when they meet
  • He didn’t have to worry because when he met MC those feelings were stronger 
  • He didn’t hide that they were together at all
  • The rumors were true. Does Jumin Han is gay
  • His father isn’t really happy with this but he can’t stop Jumin from being with someone he loves 
  • Jumin takes MC to all the fancy events and everyone is jealous because they are so hot????how??? 


  • I mean this kid is bi as hell 
  • He fell in love instantly with MC 
  • seriously doesn’t matter what gender MC is he will still love them 
  • He loves snuggling with MC so much 
  • He enjoys being the little spoon a lot 
  • pls comfort this sad little man 
  • He makes MC wear his clothes 
  • MC looks really good in them, But Seven is starting to run out of clothes 
  • so Seven starts wearing MC’s clothes
  • they basically share everything 
  • there’s always kisses. Like the rest of the RFA is getting annoyed when they are all together 
  • they know how to control themselves they just like to mess with the rest of the RFA 
  • They’ve crossedressed before together and sent a picture to the RFA and Zen hates it because they make attractive girls and it’s giving him a confusing boner
  • each time after MC kissed Seven he will whisper “that’s gay” 
  • “Seven… We’re gay” 

anonymous asked:

Pls writes one where she fakes an orgasm and harry finds out while you're telling it to your friend and when he finds out he gets very very mad at her. They get into a little argument too about it. Please I think you'll write it very good . I'm so happy I discovered you !! Love u!

Rating: PG-13
Warnings: It’s so bad I am not really proud…
Category: IDK it’s normal.
Word Count: 2,231 (wtf it’s so long and it’s shit)
Request: YES so thank you dear!

Note: Thanks for the love dear! I tried to deliver, I think it’s crappyyyy so sorry.

08. Please You

You’re doing your makeup in your bathroom while your best friend is on the phone on speaker. Catching up on the latest news of your lives. You apply your foundation slowly, trying to get the best coat possible.
“It’s really hot around here now. I’ll take a shower when you’re gone though” She says and her voice rounds the whole room. After she moved to Australia to study your catch up sessions have been scarce, meaning sometimes catching up means having her on speaker while you shower or while she showers, as long as you get to talk at least twice a month.
“AH! Oh shit. Ugh, sorry” you say dropping your brush and almost jumping a foot back to stop it from ruining your skirt. “Dumb brushes”
“Klutz” she snorts “so, talking about hot stuff, how’s that boy of yours?” you can’t help but smile at her tone. She’s always joking that had she been the one to wear that black dress the night you met Harry for the first time, she would be the one with a super hot super sweet boyfriend.
“He’s good. We’re good”
“ Doing your make-up real nice for him” you roll your eyes
“You know he -“
“ He doesn’t care, I know. I wish Jason didn’t either” you can hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. Jason was the boy she was after, and he was after the ‘caked-up sluts on campus’. Her words. “Besides, I bet it gets horrible to have a super caked-up face when you’re getting it on later”. At this you blush immensely. You’ve been friends for the longest time but you’re never really fully comfortable to talk about your and Harry’s intimacy like that. You do give her some details here in there, always the little but juicy stuff she begs for.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you please write a fluffy Oliver Wood x reader imagine where you're the keeper for Slytherin and Oliver notices you from a far, during a quidditch match. Thanks! Oh and by the way I LOVE YOUR BLOG! ❤️

Request – Oliver Wood “Losing”


You couldn’t help but grin when you heard the disappointment in Lee Jordan’s voice when he had to announce the lead for Gryffindor. Especially because, and you had to admit that even as Slytherin’s keeper, it wasn’t completely just. But you were just playing a very good game today and Oliver Wood at the other end of the field… well… he was a bit preoccupied. You why that was. You had noticed the way he looked at you in the hallways when you changed classes. The fact that he constantly picked out a desk next to you or behind you in the classes you shared was something you could only have missed if you were a complete idiot. Which you weren’t.

Even when some of Oliver’s housemates thought so because you were in Slytherin.

You eyed Harry Potter for a moment… the kid was a brilliant Quidditch player, you could see that. He was just a bit of an idiot when it came to everything else. You kept your eye on the ball again, because the Gryffindor Chasers had gotten the ball after your team had scored and they looked determined not to let go of the Quaffle before they had gotten it past you. But that was something you weren’t going to allow. You kept your eye on the Quaffle, so even the manoeuvre they were trying –one Oliver must have taught them- didn’t work and you caught the Quaffle, holding it up in a gesture of triumph. You smiled and looked at the other end of the field. Instead of the very disappointed face of the Gryffindor team captain you expected to see, you thought you saw a faint smile on his face. Interesting…


You had to laugh when you saw how McGonagall was trying to wrestle the microphone from Lee’s hands, telling him to keep the commentary objective.


You were pretty sure Oliver was distracted because of you. And you weren’t above using it in the game. And it worked brilliantly. After the game you walked back to the school after flattening Gryffindor –Harry had been busy trying to find out what was going on with Oliver when Malfoy had almost flown against the Snitch. It was a miracle…-, the final score had been 310 against 60. You hadn’t been able to stop everything they threw at you, but you had done a whole lot better than Oliver had. You almost bumped into him.

The rest of his team wasn’t there and when you saw him first, he did look kind of miserable. Not much of a surprise, after what just happened.

“What happened, Wood? Lost your talent somewhere when you took on the Potter boy?”, you grinned at him. Miraculously, you saw a smile appear on his face. You rolled your eyes, you knew Gryffindors weren’t very subtle, but this was kind of pathetic.

“Nope. I think I lost it to a very good Slytherin keeper.”, he shrugged.

That made you smile. It was a better come back than you had expected. And you had to admit… he was kind of cute.
“How about having an extra training session with that keeper then? Without anyone finding out, because we’ll be dead if they do.”

He started laughing. “Are you asking me on a date right now?”

You just shrugged your shoulders.
“That’s for you to find out?”

anonymous asked:

Could you do 'There's things I wish I knew' with Bruce or 'I move so fast, how could you be with me?' With Wally please? You're so good at this fic thing!

thank u i pride myself on this fic thing tbh

Bruce kisses you like an exhale of smoke, as if you’re intangible, as if you’ll slip through his fingers. He’s often desperate, he’s often grasping your back and fitting his lips to your neck, dragging his teeth down the hollow of your throat. It makes you let out strange, breathless giggles and he sympathizes with a sound he can’t identify. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can I request an HC where MC gets claustrophobic in a maze?? If you're uncomfortable with the subject or have already done something similar, I'm sorry for bothering.. I'm new to your blog and mystic messenger in general. Your headcanons are amazing though <3

<aww thank you anon!! i’m gonna do this one now along with all the halloween ones cause like mazes are halloweeny right?? and you’re not bothering me, i love writing things you guys wanna see! i hope you enjoy!!>


  • he thought it would be cute if you two went on a lil pumpkin picking date and then went through a corn maze
  • …but little did he forget about your claustrophobia 
  • you convinced yourself you’d be alright, going in squeezing the life out of Yoosung’s hand
  • once you and him got half way, you began to feel your heat begin to pound, your hands were getting clammy and you were beginning to shake
  • that’s when Yoosung remembered.
  • you simply nodded your head, as Yoosung help you tight until your breathing went to a more normal pace
  • even though you were still on edge, Yoosung was able to guide you two out of the maze, instantly taking you home and cuddling when you got home
  • “I’m so sorry MC I forgot that you were claustrophobic what kind of boyfriend am I, I forgot one of your biggest fears I’m such a terrible boyfr-”
  • you cut him off with a big hug, insisting that a mini cuddle session would make for a perfect apology

Jaehee Kang:

  • you both decided to do a nighttime non-haunted (bc no spooks) corn maze to get into the halloween spirit
  • despite the fact that you had claustrophobia 
  • i feel like she would come prepared with a map and stuff 
  • but she kept feeling like she was missing something
  • so as you both were walking through the corn maze you gripped her hand while complaining about a bad headache
  • next thing you know you were feeling a bit dizzy then it hit her what she forgot
  • “MC! Oh my god MC I forgot you were claustrophobic!”
  • she remembered that the man at the front said to turn a flashlight on and wave it to the sky if you needed to get out asap
  • so that’s what she did as she held onto your swaying body
  • one of the workers came and quickly took you and Jaehee out, they insisted you two would stay and make sure you got medical assistant but Jaehee turned it down
  • “I’m so sorry MC I should’ve remembered.”
  • “It’s alright, Jaehee. It just got to me too quickly, it wasn’t you.”
  • from then on, you never touched a maze ever again, Jaehee made sure of it 


  •  this lil prick thought it’d be fun to go into the haunted corn maze around midnight at one of those farm halloween special things near you
  • “Zen…I don’t think this is a good idea..”
  • “I’ll protect you babe, don’t worry.”
  • it wasn’t the spooks you were worried about, they were just random kids taken off the street who were crappy actors, but you were more so worried about your claustrophobia
  • you held onto Zen, being correct about the spooks
  • but then you got to a dead end, a shit actor chasing behind you two, as you began to sweat and tense up, causing you to fall to the ground
  • “MC? MC?? MC! ARE YOU OKAY MC?!?” 
  • they stopped everything and got you and Zen out, he immediately took you home
  • once you were feeling well enough, you explained to him that you had claustrophobia
  • he instantly felt guilty
  • “MC…I should’ve known…”
  • “How should you’ve known? I never told you.” 
  • “Please, tell me anything like this before we do something ever again? Please? I need to keep my doll safe!”

Jumin Han:

  • you had told him before about your claustrophobia before
  • so he was the wary one about going into the corn maze
  • “MC, wouldn’t this trigger your claustrophobia?”
  • “Nah, I’ve done them before! Come on Jumin!” 
  • least you thought
  • this was about your 5th time at a dead end, you and Jumin weren’t the best duo at finding your way around
  • you started to have a panic attack, your breathing began to increase dramatically
  • Jumin picked you up, retraced your steps and went back to the beginning 
  • “Uhh, sir, this is the entrance you can’t come out this way-”
  • “My darling is having a panic attack, so if you don’t mind this was the closest place I could get her out of the maze. Please excuse me very quickly.”
  • he too you home and ran a nice soothing bath, joining in with you until you calmed down completely
  • later on that night you were cuddling in bed, Jumin was petting your hair
  • “…I told you that was a bad idea, MC.”
  • “…I should’ve listened to you. Oops.” 


  • so, he found one of those sort of “Trapped in the Room” things that was basically an indoor maze with a set of puzzles you needed to solve in order to get out, and if you didn’t solve it you got spooked
  • being the good boyfriend Seven is, he bought the tickets to go in before asking you
  • but after he ran it by you he remembered your claustrophobia
  • “Maybe we shouldn’t MC..”
  • “You already payed and are super excited to do it, so let’s do it. How bad could it be?”
  • cue you sitting on the floor with your stomach full of butterflies with a killer headache being a sweaty mess, as Seven tried and tried on one puzzle
  • he hit the emergency leave button that was on the side of the puzzle, just incase of things like these
  • everything shut down, and you and Seven ran out
  • “I’m sorry MC, I really shouldn’t have forced you to do that..”
  • “It’s alright Seven, I should’ve just told you to return the tickets.”

<okay, so i’m not sure if Seven’s made any sense but I tried to make it halloween-ish like I tried with all the others but i wanted to stick to the prompt of claustrophobia in a  maze. anon, if this wasn’t what you wanted, let me know and i’lll do a redo! regardless, i hope you enjoyed! i’m gonna go offline now and get some sleep, love you guys!!♡>

Thank You So Much:

Hi, hello, good morning,good evening. so today is the 26th of August which marks my 18th birthday and as much as I would like to bask in that glory I have to sit and reflect on my past year(s)

 I would never have come this far if it wasn’t for the people I follow and the mutuals that I have.  

 So in honor of my birthday a thank you to all of you. As I wish you luck with your blogs and your lives.

Keep reading

Baby, You're Perfect | L.H. Imagine |

Originally posted by kisslol

Requested | Yes

Anonymous said:Request of where Luke is insecure about his body and u comfort him all set around the Christmas time?


This story was kinda hard for me to write. I an no way in any shape of form, trying to romanticize mental troubles, mental disabilities, or body image issues. I am just writing this to make this anon happy. So, if this TRIGGERS you, please don’t read, okay. I don’t want any of my followers to get triggered bc my stupid ass is writing this okay, okay.

** ALSO : If you need someone to talk to, my message is ALWAYS open, okay. I promise Ii love you, and I don’t want you to be upset, please talk to me I want you to be happy :) I love you **

Baby You’re Perfect

I opened the oven and put the cookie sheet, full of freshly made chocolate chip cookie batter, rolled into small round circles, into the oven. I closed it and set the timer for 10 minutes.

I then started making the gingerbread cookie batter in a separate bowl. As I was putting the spices into the bowl, I heard my boyfriend in the other room calling me. I walked into the living room, and was welcomed with Luke, standing and showing off the beautiful tree he just decorated. It was so amazing I went over to hug him.

I walked over and kissed his cheek, “ Good job babe, it looks great ” I said. He kissed m cheek back and said “ Thanks, I can also smell your cookies, they smell pretty good. ”

“ Thanks babe ” I said. “ I need to get back to baking, how about you replace the couch cushions with the Christmas ones. ” He nodded his head and went to the closet to grab the cushions. I went back to the kitchen to finish the baking.

~20 minutes later~

“ Luke, stop! ” I screamed, trying to get away from him because he was trying to kiss me with the leftover batter on his lips. “ C'mon babe, don’t you want a kiss ” he said. He finally caught up to me and kissed my cheek.

“ Ew! You are so gross ” I said with a smile. He just laughed to himself. “ C'mon help me clean up from baking, please ” I asked, pulling my famous puppy dog face, which I know Luke couldn’t say no to.

“ Ugh, fine, if I have to ”  he said. We walk back into the kitchen and start cleaning up the mess that was made when Luke tied helping me make Christmas cookies.

After we finished, the cookies had time to bake so we just decided to watch some cheesy Christmas movies. We sat down on the couch in our shared apartment, and turned on whatever was on. He was sitting down and I was laying down, my head resting on his lap. I felt his hand starting to play with the stands of my (Y/C/H) hair and it was calming me.

I looked up at Luke, and he looked down at me, and we both just smiled. I sat up and we just looked at each other. I then leaned in and kissed him, and he immediately kissed back. I then instinctively went over and straddled him and he grabbed my butt, and the kiss started to get deep and more passionate.

I then tugged the bottom of his shirt, and then Luke pulled back. He then asked me if I could get up and he went to our room. I was kinda confused, but this has been happening recently.

Recently, Luke and I have been getting into some more passionate makeout sessions, and once I kinda tugged at his shirt, he kinda pulls back and either tells me he’s tired or he'll come up with an excuse. I knew that he wasn’t a virgin, and neither was I, so it’s been confusing me lately.

I went to our shared bathroom, and I knocked on the door. I realized the door was locked, so I knocked a little harder, thinking that something was wrong. I heard Luke, he said he would be out in a minute. I just assumed he had to use the bathroom, so  I went back to the kitchen, remembering that I had to take the cookies out of the oven.

I took the cookies out, and put them on a cooling rack to cool. It’s been at least 15 minutes and Luke still didn’t leave the bathroom. I went over again, and knocked on the door and asked if he was okay. No response. I go worried.

“ Luke, are you okay ” I asked again. No response.

I got really nervous. “ Luke, if you don’t answer I am going to fucking barge this door down.

No response.

I started crying. I started pounding on the door, screaming his name.

’ LUKE! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR! ” Is what I said for a good minute.

No response.

That was it. I started pounding on the door, desperate for the door to fall or somehow open the door. The door miraculously opened and I saw Luke, standing in front of the mirror, with his shirt off, just staring at his body.

My heart immediately broke. I walked over to Luke. He didn’t even move when I opened the door. I grabbed his body from the back and held him. I noticed that he was crying. “ Luke ” I said, trying to get his attention.

He just closed his eyes, not wanting to make eye contact with me. “ I’m sorry ” is all he said. I can’t believe it.

He thinks that his body isn’t perfect, when I think his body is the best in the world. I turned him around and made him look in my eyes. “ Luke, look at me "  Ii said. He opened his eyes, and my heart broke.

” Luke, please listen to me, you are the most, perfect human being in the world. You make my life worth living and I love you with all my life and I hate seeing you like this. You are so fucking worth it and such an amazing human and I love you to fucking pieces. Please never think you aren’t in every way perfect, because you are, okay. I fucking love you so much and please, please know that I will never, ever stop loving you. “

His arms just wrapped around me. ” I love you, thank you “ is all he said.

” I love you baby, you’re perfect “  I said back, kissing him.



But seriously, thank you so much for 900+ followers like, why, im hella trash.


Ashton Imagine #1: You're Trying To Forget

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia

And forget about the stupid little things

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

And the memories I never can escape

It was about eight in the morning and your boyfriend was waiting inside the car while you enter the little shop around the corner; you were getting your morning coffee. Just before you make your order, a husky voice came from behind you. “Vanilla latte with whole milk but no sugar,” he said. You turned around, and Ashton Irwin was standing no further than a foot away from you.

Keep reading

When Someone Dares You and You Just Gotta Have Gonna Going To Will Have To Do It
  • Kid: *shines cellphone flashlight down sewage pipe* It's so dark and gross. Why did I agree to do this?
  • Kid: *remembers why he agreed to this*
  • Other Kid: Hey, Shane! If you don't go to the end of the old sewage pipe in the woods behind the school and take a selfie, you're gay!
  • Kid: I am gay.
  • Other Kid: Oh yeah. Well, if you don't do it, I'll tell everyone you suck at Madden!
  • Kid: I'm very good at Madden and you know it!
  • Other Kid: That's true, your skills in Madden are undeniable. In fact, I respect you and look up to you as a fellow Madden player.
  • Kid: You know what, I'm so honored that you actually recognize my Madden skills that I'm going to go into the sewage pipe anyway.
  • Other Kid: Thanks, man! I'm genuinely glad we're friends.
  • *both kids hug*
  • Kid: *stops remembering why he agreed to this*
  • Kid: Oh yeah, that's why. *smiles as he makes his way down the sewage pipe*
  • Fetid Wind: *blows gross stench in the kid's face*
  • Kid: Ugh, disgusting!
  • Nasty Sewer Water: *seeps into the kid's mediocre dollar store galoshes*
  • Kid: Dammit, I knew I should've worn my fancy galoshes. Let's just get this over with. *snaps a selfie at the end of the sewage pipe*
  • Kid: Now, let's check me out. *notices the faint glow of someone else's eyes in the selfie*
  • Kid: *notices the presence of something standing behind him*
  • Odd Man: *places hand on kid's shoulder* Hello there, Shane.
  • Kid: *takes off running to the entrance of the sewer* Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
  • Odd Man: Hey, come back!
  • Odd Woman: *steps in the way of the kid and knocks him to the ground* Stop, in the name of youth!
  • Kid: I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!
  • Odd Man: *lifts kid from off the ground* Kill you? We're not going to kill you.
  • Kid: Oh, thank god.
  • Odd Woman: Just kidding, we're totally going to kill you!
  • Kid: Oh, god no!
  • Odd Man: But, not before you have a good time!
  • Odd Woman: I'm Maya!
  • Odd Man: I'm Micheal!
  • Together: And we're the Youth Blast Team! WHAPA-ZOW!! *they strike a pose*
  • Kid: *takes off running while the two are posing together*
  • Odd Man: *materializes in front of kid and grabs him* You're not going anywhere, buddy!
  • Odd Woman: Not until you hear our tragic tale.
  • Kid: I don't want to hear it! I refuse.
  • Kid: Holy shit, please don't do that! I'll listen to your story! Just speak normally, please!
  • Odd Man: Thank you, Shane. You're a good kid. Our story begins more than 300 years ago!
  • Odd Woman: Here comes an EduFact! That's before the USA was founded!
  • Odd Man: I was a simple farmer who only wanted to live a normal life.
  • Odd Woman: And I was a simple maiden, searching for eternal love.
  • Odd Man: Eventually, we found it... we found each other. *embraces odd woman and looks deeply into her eyes*
  • Odd Woman: Oh, Michael.
  • Odd Man: Oh, Maya.
  • Odd Woman: Love to transcend life and death, could you believe it!?
  • Odd Man: I certainly couldn't!
  • Odd Woman: Oh, but it was not meant to be!
  • Odd Man: Despair!
  • Odd Woman: I had become pregnant out of wedlock with Michael's child!
  • Odd Man: Scandalous!
  • Odd Woman: My cruel parents disowned me! Abandoned me! Left me to rot!
  • Odd Man: Oh, how cruel!
  • Odd Woman: But, all was not lost! Brave Michael took me in!
  • Odd Man: I tried my best, but it was a hard life! Maya became sick!
  • Odd Woman: Perilously so!
  • Odd Man: I had to deliver the baby myself whilst she was infirm! Oh, when it was born it was such a horrible sight!
  • Odd Woman: Ghastly!
  • Odd Man: It was deformed, malnourished, and redder than the reddest thing you can think of. Like a really red ball or something... uh, I don't know. Maya, help me out here.
  • Odd Woman: It was like a tomato!
  • Odd Man: Yes, a ghastly tomato! Oh, it was horrible! Poor thing died shortly afterwards.
  • Odd Woman: My baby!
  • Odd Man: Oh, but our horrors were just beginning!
  • Odd Woman: The terror!
  • Odd Man: After the baby had passed, Maya came to me wielding a knife! She blah blah blah blah blah.
  • Kid: *stops paying attention and texts the other kid* Dude, you gotta send help!
  • Other Kid: What's the problem?
  • Kid: These maniacs are holding me in the sewage pipe and forcing me to listen to their dumb ass story.
  • Other Kid: Wait, you actually went in the pipe!?
  • Kid: Yes.
  • Other Kid: That's fucking awesome! Did you take the selfie?
  • Kid: Yes, but listen that doesn't really matter right now.
  • Other Kid: You have to send it to me!
  • Kid: I'm being held against my will! They say they're going to kill me!
  • Other Kid: C'mon! I wanna see it!
  • Kid: Alright. *sends selfie*
  • Other Kid: Oh my god, that's sick! What the fuck is that behind you, though!?
  • Kid: It's one of the people who's keeping me here! Listen, you really have to help me!
  • Other Kid: I'm like fourteen, dude. You should call the police.
  • Kid: ...Fuck. You're right. That's actually a much better idea.
  • Other Kid: Yeah. You should do it like now if you're really in danger, man.
  • Kid: I think I'll do it now.
  • Other Kid: Okay, then stop texting me.
  • Kid: I'm going to.
  • Other Kid: You're still texting me.
  • Kid: Fuck!
  • Odd Man: *knocks the cellphone out of the kid's hands* No texting while class is in session.
  • Odd Woman: It's time for you to give our son a Youth Blast!
  • Kid: A what?
  • Odd Man: Weren't you paying attention at all. We need your youthful soul to give our son a Youth Blast! It's the only way to keep our baby boy strong and young.
  • Odd Woman: Oh goody, here he comes now!
  • Kid: *finally notices the large umbilical cord trailing from the odd woman and deep into the sewage pipe*
  • Overgrown Fetus: *slowly drags itself from out of the darkness*
  • Overgrown Fetus: *looks at the kid with beady, yellow eyes*
  • Overgrown Fetus: *reaches for the kid with its absurdly long arm*
  • Kid: Fuck! *tries to run away*
  • Odd Man: *pins the kid to the ground* Don't be a sour lemon, Shane. Our son needs your youth more than you do.
  • Overgrown Fetus: *places its huge palm over the kids face and drags him away by his head*
  • Overgrown Fetus: WHAPA-ZOW! WHAPA-ZOW!
  • Odd Woman: WHAPA-ZOW!
  • Odd Man: WHAPA-ZOW!
  • Kids: *screams are muffled as the fetus drags him into the darkness of the sewage pipe*
  • Odd Woman: *falls to the ground as the umbilical cord is dragged away too* Looks like I'm going with, honey!
  • Odd Man: *waves* See you 'round, dear!
  • Odd Woman: Goodbye, honey! *mwah*
  • *the odd man and woman fade away*
  • *that morning*
  • Other Kid: *wakes up from bed*
  • Other Kid: *goes through her daily morning routine*
  • Other Kid: *prepares to leave for school, but notices a package on the ground directed to her*
  • Other Kid: *reads note taped to the package* Thanks for referring your friend to the Youth Blast Team's annual festivities. We greatly appreciate your help. Inside is an honorary Youth Blast t-shirt and commemorative photo. Thank you.
  • Other Kid: The fuck is Youth Blast? *opens the package*
  • Other Kid: *looks at photo of an elderly man waving solemnly*