stoner of the year

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Hi my name is Bro Shitty Number 42 Knight and I have long brown hair (that’s better than other hockey players’ flow) with a matching mustache that goes down to my lips and eyes that look like fields of weed and a lot of people tell me I look like Steve Buscemi (AN: if u don’t know who that is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Jack Zimmermann but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a hockey player but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white privilege. I’m also a gender studies major and I go to a liberal arts college called Samwell in New England where I’m in my senior year (I’m 22). I’m a stoner (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly nothing. I love zumiez and buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a tshirt with a marijuana on it with matching socks and a floral snapback, adidas slide-ons and an american flag vest. I was walking outside the Haus. A lot of lax bros stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

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“If you have more than 3 Rossi helmets, please leave.”