My problem with Glee ending is that I want a 2-hour finale just focused on my favorites in the future (Sam and Mercedes and their peewee football team of children, Jesse St. James and Rachel and their tone-death, lead-foot child who likes math, Burt Hummel playing with his grandchildren while Kurt and Blaine watch fondly)
but I also want a 2-hour long montage of literally every character who has ever been on Glee and what they are doing now.
- Sugar Motta and Joe Hart (better known as Teen Jesus) spent their senior year of high school in an exchange program with Ireland. There, they reconnected with former Glee Club member Rory Flannigan. Together, the three of them started a polyamorous relationship, and have been happily together ever since. There are rumors that Mrs. Motta-Hart-Flannigan is involved with illegal time travel experiments, but the Irish government will neither confirm nor deny said rumors.
- Alistiar, Spencer’s boyfriend, never knew his father, but he did always feel he was vaguely British. After taking a genetics class in college, he discovered that his biological father was none other than Adam Crawford, who had been lying about his age for a really, really long time. The two reconnected in New York and have now formed their own father-son traveling band. They also own their own line of organic, home-knitted beanies.
- Jordan Celeste Stern, aka “Neckbrace Cheerio” never quite recovered from her neck injury. That did not stop her from having a successful career as a background dancer. Jordan’s life changed when she became a minor internet sensation, as the internet saw her dancing in the background of one of Beyonce’s videos while wearing her neckbrace. After becoming a meme on the internet, Jordan then went on the write several self-help books and became an inspiration to people everywhere.
- Stoner Brett Bukowski moved to Colorado post-graduation, where he owned his own completely-legal cannabis store. He was a moderately successful businessman for nearly fifteen years, until his wife left him for a younger man and he turned to harder drugs and a life of crime. He is now serving a 10-year sentence at the Colorado State Penitentiary.
Just because Spencer and his stoner Brett look alike kissed on Glee doesn’t mean you should compare them to Kurt and Blaine’s relationship. It’s an insult any LGBTQ relation ship that has been on this show.