stole our spot :(

Jemma: I woke up underground and my clothes were filled with dirt and this woman kicked me out of her car and then I went to a coffee shop and NO ONE HAD CELL PHONES APPARENTLY then I got attacked and I stole their car and went to our spot and you weren’t there and I wasn’t going to wait in the open so I went to see Coulson and he was Hydra and refused to remember me and he took a child away and some kid tagged my car -

Daisy: I woke up with Ward in my bed.

Jemma: Ok you win.

Supposition

There’s definitely a way you’re supposed to Christian blog. 

I’ve done it for 4 years, I know how it goes. You’re supposed to have a screen-name that contains “grace”, “mercy”, “love”, or a fun combo of the three. You’re supposed to either a) blog and reblog exclusively Jesus things or b) not blog and reblog exclusively Jesus things and feel weird and ashamed that you posted a sick meme one too many times and now must compensate with reblogging the first 4 Christian typographical pieces that you can find in a row, just to be safe. You’re supposed to make your blog posts flowery and beautiful and metaphorical and tied into real life somehow and end it with “blessings!” and try your best to sound genuine and authentic, even when it sometimes feels like nothing more than plastic. 

But wait! What’s not genuine about the Christian blogging experience? 

We’re supposed to reblog quotes about radical love. We’re supposed to automatically favorite passages from C.S. Lewis or Francis Chan. As readers, we’re supposed to ask Christian bloggers who answer questions on their blog literally every question we may ever have in our Christian walk. And if they err a little theologically, we’re supposed to go on anonymous in their inbox and correct them- sometimes tied up with love, sometimes stabbed with malice. 

We’re supposed to. 

And to be fair, the supposed to of Christian blogging is subtle. It’s subtle, and it’s not dangerous, and I really think it probably does more good than harm. 

Most of the time. 

Some of the time, the supposed to Christian culture chokes. The supposed to Christian culture, a culture that emphatically tries its best to shy away from legalism and douses us with grace, stifles. It makes you feel like you’re supposed to want to “wait on God’s timing!!! <3″ when you’re 29 and still single, unmarried, a virgin, and ready to say screw it to it all. 

It makes you feel like you’re supposed to accept people’s prayers with glee when you’ve just written an incredibly personal post about how you’re scathing mad at God, complete with many expletives and a whole lot of heartache and not a lot of trust, and you post it and all you want is people to listen but all you get is what feels like a lousy prayer- a lousy prayer of “Don’t worry! He’s in control :)” that’s supposed to make the pain go away. 

So if it’s not the fact that we’re supposed to give up our human inclination to want to go out and have a good time without feeling guilty, it’s the fact that we’re supposed to feel ashamed every time we have a crush on a boy before God’s timing.

If it’s not the fact that we’re supposed to listen for an answer from God before moving forward with a life decision, it’s the fact that we’re supposed to love to try to keep “loving on” the really rude girl who doesn’t seem to want anything to do with God or grace or you. 

We’re supposed to live the model Christian life- the model Christian life of the perfectly imperfect model Christian life- the model Christian life of the “oh, hahaha, I’m so silly! I need so much grace today because I {insert totally human reaction to any negative situation ever}! wow, thank God for His blood! I’m such a wretched sinner! so dirty! so undeserving! by the way, love the sinner, hate the sin!!”- the model Christian life of “hey instagram! i’m addicted to my Bible and coffee!!”- the model Christian life of “so happy to turn 20 and marry the love of my life and travel the world and spread Jesus!”. 

It’s not said but we’re supposed to. It’s not spoken, but we are supposed to live out these things as our dues as Christian girl. The supposed to is a tax- the supposed to keeps us “daughters of the one true King!” in line. 

‘Cause we have to typography, we have to grace, we have to Christian music, we have to speak softly, we have to apologize unnecessarily, we have to self-flagellate every time we get the slightest bit of upset with the guy who stole our parking spot at Target, we have to marry young and baby young and Jesus and coffee and wanderlust and Bible verses and twitter bio of “wife. mommy. lover of Jesus” and we’re just supposed to want that. 

We’re supposed to. 

I don’t know exactly why I wrote this (or if people will even see this) but if I can say one thing that I’ve learned in the past few months of wrestling with God is that sometimes it’s okay to not do the supposed to

Sometimes it’s okay to take down our perfectly messy buns and remove our perfectly H & M meets Free People wardrobe and push aside our perfectly caffeinated latte (lol my only flaw is that i’m addicted to coffee! lol quirky!) and close our perfectly highlighted Bible and lock ourselves in our bathrooms and cry. 

(I think we owe it to ourselves to at least do that. Shed the supposed and let yourself be as naked and as ugly as you were upon your exit from that good ole’ womb…)

Now, I just wrote a paragraph about how if you do any or all of the things above, I’m not trying to criticize or condemn you and that you deserve the right to live your life however you want. I wrote that paragraph because I was supposed to make sure I didn’t offend anybody or call out anybody on their bullshit too much or even use the word bullshit in a Christian blog piece. 

I deleted that paragraph. 

By all means, be a cutesy Christian. Use pinterest too much, never swear, only admit to sins that make you seem as bad as Bambi’s Mother. I get it. No fault. No worries. Do you. 

But this post is for the girls who allow themselves to grow past the supposed to’s. This post is for the girls who allow themselves to be content with the fact that sometimes, God’s timing really, really seems like it sucks. This post is for the girls who are sick of random people coming into their personal tumblr inboxes and typing out reasons upon reasons as to why they are not behaving in a Christ-like manner, but it’s okay because “I’ll pray for you! <3.” This post is for the girls who don’t really like typography all that much and for the girls will sometimes say lmao even though it technically contains a swear word and for the girls who are fed up with the facade of it all. 

I don’t want to divide women. I don’t want people to pick sides; I don’t want there to be a war between the supposed to’s and the not’s. And I certainly don’t want it to come across as me being arrogant or pretentious or ~too cool for u mainstream Christian peasants~. 

But I do want there to be a fair dialogue. An ability to talk about things that matter without being silenced with Bible verses. An ability to express anger and frustration about the Church, about its members, and even about God. An ability to allow ourselves to not be the model Christian girls we so believe that we must be. 

Somewhere this year, in between being frustrated with Christian blogging and mad at God and annoyed with myself and hateful toward the world and my circumstances, I gave up on the the idol of the supposed

And I’ve honestly, truly never felt more free. 

- Akua 

2

MY PERSONAL FANACCOUNT AS JACKSON’S PARTNER FOR 8PM GOT7 FANMEET IN TORONTO.

I was one of the lucky one that got chosen by JACKSON WANG istg my friend pushed me to go cause I didn’t realize it was my number… If I remember correctly, Jackson hugged me as soon as I got up? Like forreal I guess he was so happy cause I was clearly a Jackson stan hell, he’s my ultimate bias??????? How did I get this lucky, I don’t even know. So after that he took my hand and linked it with his own to the point where I could feel his BICEP FUCKING HELL HE WAS FLEXING A BIT I FELT THEM MUSCLES I’M DEAD. Next point is that Jackson smells so good I had to comment to him about it and Jackson was like: Youuu smell good. TBH I HAD SOME ASIAN BALSAM ON CAUSE OF MY STIFF NECK BUT THANKS JACKSON MAYBE IT’S MY HAIR. Since we were doing introductions, Jackson asked me where I was from, my name and age etc. He couldn’t say my name right the first time so I even spelled it out which is Saraya btw. And since I was from Scarborough part of Ontario, he was like ‘scar….bro?’ ‘Scarborrow…’

This man right here then stared at me.. and began rubbing somewhere above my top lip saying I got something there and he was like: let me get it you got something and did that to me like three times???

After that he would just come check on me and have his arm around my shoulder whilst repeating my name numerous times which btw I don’t mind at all. And once it was our turn to play, he took my hand and INTERLOCKED IT WITH HIS OWN LIKE I COULD FEEL THE RING ON HIS FINGER but yeah he’s like “you ready?” Hell no I’m not jackson.

Jackson frekin … this dork took off the tape from his spot and moved it a lot closer to where I am so I could legit just put the ball inside the basket LOL I can’t even.. and then he just laid on the floor and was like: just roll it .. which ofc I did. I did whatever jackson told me to do LOL like we failed and got like 2 but that’s okay bae gave me a hug with a cute smile on his face.

After we went back on our spot before mark and his partner went, Jackson stole all the balls and sneaked a blue one for me to keep and I’m like gee thanks lmfaao. And he was like shoving the rest in his pocket like wyd Jackson.. well ofc in the end he threw it to the crowd.

…. so like yeah my life is complete being that close and personal interacting with Jackson personally… too unreal.

BONUS. before I left the stage, I went up to Mark and bro hugged him and did the same with Bambam …

So yeah, life complete right there. Not to mention I had compilation of Jackson derp photos hung around my neck LOL istg. AND GUYS… I’M TELLING YOU JACKSON IS LEGIT BOYFRIEND MATERIAL BYE LET ME DIG A GRAVE NOW.

yinstark-deactivated20160622  asked:

While reading the heroes of Olympus books I've had my ups and downs with Reyna. First I didn't like her cause of her being in between with Jiper, then I liked her cause I formally met her and she was a badass. Then I was like eh with her when we see her again in HoH. She had her moments in BoO in being awesome, but come on, it's BoO ( I had to really try to find good quality stuff in there)

but now, after the conclusion of it all, I feel like Reyna is just there. I don’t see any real character value and I feel like she stole spot light from our main favorite characters. I see many posts Pro Reyna, and how awesome she is, but I honestly, deep down, can’t see what’s so special about her. Any thoughts?

I think she’s a character that had a lot of potential but got lost in the shuffle of the cluster fuck that was the HoO series. We saw some character development but I think when we seen Reyna it is very two dimensional. She is either busy being a stoic badass or being emotional while trying to be a stoic badass. 

I personally adore her as a character, because like I said there was so much potential. An awesome woman of color who was potentially queer, didn’t apologize for her lack of emotion or her dominance. All super important. 

Also I think the consequences of Percy and Annabeth’s stay on Circe’s Island, while a very small part of the story and something that Rick most likely did not intend, were a very good example of what can happen when outside forces (in a political sense) interfere with power balances they don’t understand. Percy and Annabeth thought they were doing the right thing by freeing all those men but as a consequence Reyna lost the only home she had really ever known and had to deal with violence at the hands of men (again) and displacement. 

In the end, I think her story lines were pretty weak because of everything else that was going on in the series, but as a character I really enjoyed her and think that her emotional journey during the return of the Athena Parthenos was awesome and deserved its own book. And I think she definitely could have been written a little better but at the end of the day Rick is a middle aged white man so I think he did her a fair amount of justice for someone who could only understand her viewpoint so much.