stockpiled

Humans and Fire

So I’ve read a few humans are weird posts and it got me thinking, what if humans are the only species to evolve to use fire. Like, most intelligent species will instinctively flee in panic the moment they catch sight of an open flame, yet show a human infant a fire and if they don’t know better, they will try to grab it.

Humans will burn everything. Most of us won’t eat anything unless it has been “Cooked” first. (A human word meaning to heat food until it has begun to denature but not yet started to carbonize.)

Start a small fire and instead of fleeing, humans will gather around it and start socializing.

We get intoxicated by setting specific plants on fire and inhaling the smoke, often with the burning embers mere inches from our sensitive face.

We use it to clear land for agriculture and hunting. We use it to punish criminals. We even use it for purely aesthetic purposes. (Think fireworks.)

Heck, we we discovered hydrocarbons, the first thing we did was burn them. In fact, humans were burning so much hydrocarbons they were literally altering the atmosphere of their planet.

Heck, humans have died because they literally did not have enough materials to burn.

Now imagine hostile aliens want to invade earth. They don’t use fire except for carefully controlled and heavily guarded industrial purposes. They also don’t know much about earth other than it is definitely inhabited and the people haven’t developed intergalactic travel.

They’re expecting to face primitive forces armed with the local equivalent of clubs and bows. What they get is, to them, a strange anachronistic jumble of expected primative technologies and highly advanced technologies that they definitely shouldn’t have.

They’re not expecting guns. (Projectile weapons that consist of a narrow tube with projectile and a chemical propellent stuffed into one end. Instead of an electromagnetic pulse, the propellant is ignited and the expanding gases shoot the projectile out of the tube.)

They’re not expecting powered vehicles. Instead of electric motors, humans have what they call the internal combustion engine. (A motor that works by sucking flammable gas into an enclosed chamber, igniting the gas under pressure, and using the resulting force from the detonation to move a piston. Because of that, humans have heavy machinery, self-propelled vehicles, and powered air-craft before they even really understood bio electricity.

They’re not expecting bombs, or incendiary weapons. (It was also how it was discovered that their bio-polymer armor, while excellent against projectiles, can actually burn at surprisingly low temperatures.

They’re not even expecting smelted metal. Steel to them is a high tech material that can only be produced under specialized conditions of extreme heat, and requires very specialized facilities to produce. They are shocked to discover that humans have been smelting copper before they developed writing.

And they are definitely not expecting nuclear weapons. (Which are basically “bombs” that instead of using combustable chemicals use an uncontrolled nuclear fission reaction. They are also aghast to discover that not only was this apparently the first thing we thought to do when we discovered fission, but that competing human faction have “how many of these weapons stockpiled!?”

After retreating in disgrace, the task force sent to monitor the plant is horrified to report that humans are rapidly expanding into space. They aren’t using gravitic lifters or electromagnetic mass drivers. They are apparently simply loading equipment and personnel into special “missiles” and using a shit ton of highly combustable fuel to simply launch themselves into space.

im in my hometown for a couple of days and theres this ice cream tub in my room that i did something with when i was a kid and it just has “DO NOT TOUCH!!!” written all across it. so i havent touched it all these years and i just realized while looking at it that i have no idea whats inside. so i opened it and its just completely filled with pennies. so now my questions are

  1. why was i stockpiling pennies as a child
  2. why did i so adamantly want nobody to touch my horde of pennies
  3. why did i obey ice cream tub instructions for 15 years
  4. did i unleash some kind of curse for finally breaking the taboo
Fattening Up: Earth Is Space Australia/Humans Are Weird

I just had lunch, and was considering having a cookie or three, and the thought occurred–what if other species didn’t have a built-in nutrition-storage system? Suppose their bodies have just so much of a reserve of energy, and if they don’t have food stockpiled when lean times arrive, well…

Then they discover Earth, and the concept of “fat”. An automatic system that in times of plenty, stockpiles fuel right inside the body, placing it in predesignated locations. And not only is it a hedge against lean times, the “fat” provides padding, insulation, AND it’s a natural flotation aid! What miraculous stuff! What an ingenious system! What an elegant solution to the threat of starvation posed by the Death World’s constant environmental fluctuations!

Then the aliens learn about the Western world’s obsessions and phobias and general social neuroses about fat. No matter how hard they try, they can’t make sense of it. To them, the fat-storage system is a miracle of biology. Yet another wonderfully bizarre element of life on Earth. Which is a planet that seems to go out of its way to find creative ways to kill its inhabitants. Earth is home to the Geology of Mass Destruction, the Climates That Want You Dead, the Diseases From Hell, and All the Murder Beasts. Yet instead of addressing any of those threats, humans decide to devote massive amounts of time, money, and the efforts of thousands of our brilliant, creative, fantastically adaptable minds to…defeating one of our own survival mechanisms.

Does Not Compute!

Day One Hundred and One

-Upon noticing my distinct lack of a thick southern accent, an elderly woman began to interrogate me about every aspect of my life, from my family to my academic career. She then asked how I liked the area. I told her that it was different. She yelled at me for being politically correct. This is about how I saw the conversation going.

-I mistakenly called an older gentleman “Ma'am”. I did not realize that he was not a ma'am for a solid fifteen seconds. During this eternity, we were looking each other dead in the eye, waiting in silence for one of us to say something. I desperately hoped for a commercial break, as there was no way I was getting out of this one.

-A man expressed his frustrations that if you press the cancel button while paying, it will cancel your payment. I agree with him and believe that anything that will cancel your payment should be plainly labeled as such.

-Two soccer moms discussed their children’s extracurriculars in front of me. One asked the other, “What about soccer camp?” To this she got the reply, “We can’t do it. I’m afraid it might lead into them starting softball.” I completely sympathize with this woman. Volleyball is a gateway sport and should be avoided at all costs.

-A magazine cover at my register advertised the upcoming Beauty and the Beast movie as “The Story Of A Fairy Tale.” This is also known as “A Fairy Tale.”

-I came across a large stockpile of pineapple coconut water that expired in August of 2015. No one is quite sure why we have it, but if anyone PayPals me ten dollars, I am prepared to drink it all.

-I stuck my tongue out at an infant, and the giggle he let out changed my life. I am certain that if we gave a microphone to this joyful bundle of purity, we could end war, put a stop to hate in all forms, and even convince the Toupeed Tic Tac in Chief to step down from office.

-A man grew tired of waiting behind the woman I was ringing up and left to a different lane. The woman almost immediately completed her transaction, and, as someone steps behind him to block him in, other guests take up the premium place in line that could have been his. He shook his head in shame and gave up on his purchase entirely, leaving his items behind as he left the store in a wholly relatable cloud of agony.

anonymous asked:

Okay, because I'm a sucker for top ten lists and future Viktuuri sex, so thanks to your post on Chris' best man speech: where are the top 10 most memorable places that they've had sex? I totally HC that now that they're public, they're less reserved about more public locations!

The Top 10 Most Memorable Places That Yuuri and Viktor Have Had Sex:

10) In a limo – they had to go to some Big Important Event and Yuuri finally let Viktor buy a new suit for him after months of protesting that it was unnecessary which backfired on Viktor because Yuuri looked hot as fuck and Viktor couldn’t keep his hands off on the journey there. Everyone ended up sort of side-eyeing them once they arrived at the party because they were all like ‘Nikiforov and Katsuki are looking very stylish tonight but also kind of…dishevelled?’

9) On Yuuri’s kitchen counter in Detroit – theoretically they were supposed to be in his bedroom but they didn’t quite make it. Phichit took one look at them when he got back a few hours later and was like ‘seriously guys? I eat there! And Yuuri your bedroom is like thirty seconds from here you couldn’t keep it in your pants for that long?’ Yuuri couldn’t look him in the eye for like a week afterwards. Viktor had no regrets.

8) On the beach at Hasetsu – they were out on a morning run with Vicchan and Makkachin and Viktor convinced Yuuri it was a good idea and that the beach was deserted so no-one would know. He was wrong but the old couple who saw them were just like ‘ah yes it’s just our Yuuri and his attractive foreign boyfriend, better to walk away before they know we’re here’ and Yuuri and Viktor never knew they’d been seen which was a good thing for Yuuri’s blood pressure  

7) On a plane – they both joined the mile high club after Yuuri won gold at the Four Continents and Viktor convinced him that celebratory sex in the plane bathroom was a good idea. Which it was but the air hostess gave them very knowing looks when they both finally left the room five minutes apart with lovebites covering their necks and their clothes all skewed

6) At a club – Even though Viktor likes the fact that he’s Yuuri’s one and only he also feels a little guilty that he had his wild younger years in his early twenties and got a fair bit of experience while Yuuri never did and he doesn’t ever want Yuuri to end up resenting him for that. But Yuuri was like ‘I don’t care, you were the only person I wanted to sleep with anyway I was never interested in random hook-ups with anyone else’ so Viktor was like ‘why don’t you have a random hookup with me instead then?’ So they ended up doing that thing that some couples do when they pretend not to know each other and chat each other up in a club for fun except Yuuri got really nervous beforehand, took several shots to loosen up, got an unexpected rush of confidence that was partially alcohol  related and partially the anonymity of the club they were in letting him get properly into Eros mode and the night ended with him completely seducing a very willing Viktor, a lapdance and them both screwing in the back of the club because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

5) In a lift – They were both trapped in a lift in a hotel that broke down for a while and when they were finally rescued everyone was like ‘oh my god are you ok, it must have been so scary being stuck in there alone for like two hours’ and Viktor was like ‘oh. Yeah. Terrifying.’ *shifty eyes* while Yuuri went bright red. Then after when they thought they’d gotten away with it Yuuri was suddenly like ‘Viktor…lifts have cameras in them don’t they?’ and that was the moment they realised they both fucked up. (It was fine though because no footage could ever be released because of the hotel privacy policy. But one security guard certainly got a show)

4) At a restaurant – Viktor did that thing at a fancy restaurant they were at for Yuuri’s birthday where he’s like ‘oh no I dropped my fork *disappears under the table for fifteen minutes*’ and Yuuri nearly bit through his lip trying to keep a straight face and not let on to anyone around them what was happening  

3) In the showers at Viktor’s home rink in St Petersburg – Yuuri decided to surprise Viktor after practice and it all went downhill from there. Yurio once overheard Viktor mentioning it while flirting with Yuuri at the rinkside and has never used any of the showers at the rink again

2) In a cabin in the woods – About a year into their relationship Yuuri started to get really self-conscious and anxious about all the media attention and the obsessed fans and how there was always paparazzi hanging around them and so Viktor rented out a completely secluded cabin in the woods as far away from civilisation as he could find on an impulse to try and give Yuuri a relaxing break. Since neither of them knew literally anything about outdoor survival they just stockpiled it with food and wood for the fire and disappeared for a week. They spent most of that week hiking (mainly consisting of them both getting lost and Viktor nearly dying multiple times), cuddling up together to watch the sunrise and sunset and having sex marathons on the fur rug in front of the fire a la every romance film ever. Viktor still considers it one of the best decisions he’s ever made and now has a yearly reservation.

1) In a bathroom at the European Championships – Yuuri promised to give Viktor a ‘reward’ if he won the Euros which lead to them having sex in the skater’s bathroom after the medal ceremony. Chris happened to walk in on them halfway and because Chris is Chris when they noticed him he was just like ‘don’t let me stop you’ and smirked. Viktor was 100% ready to ignore him and continue but Yuuri, unfortunately, was not. Viktor ended up getting his reward that night in the hotel room instead.

Tuesday Fic Rec #15 (Ace!Sterek)

Ace Anxiety by Princex_N | stiles/derek | g | 0.7k | 

Derek has been dreading the moment where Stiles makes a move. It comes sooner than expected and he feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest.

what you got, boy, is hard to find by lazulisong & verity | stiles/derek | g | 2.6k |

Everything was so much simpler in his head. U + ME = NAP, CUDDLE-YOU-LUST, something like that.

We weren’t together by Princex_N | stiles/derek | g | 2k | 

Everyone thinks that Derek and Stiles are dating, Stiles is completely surprised by this information.

Way Better Than Flowers by @authorkurikuri | stiles/derek | g | 1.7k | 

“So yeah, if you wanna date me, you can look forward to movie nights, homemade cookies, and absolutely no sex,” Stiles concludes, hope swelling in his chest as Derek gives him a thoughtful look. “Cuddling and forehead kisses are negotiable.”

Drunken Confessions by  Princex_N | stiles/derek | g | 2k |

“Stiles is pretty.” Derek blurts out of nowhere. Stiles glances over to look at him, and sees Derek sprawled out next to the couch, staring up at the cieling light through his fingers. “Like really pretty.”

“How pretty?” Erica asks, leaning in closer and ignoring Stiles’ attempts to make her stop.

“Really really pretty. His face is jus’… wow.” Derek slurs, “An’ his cheekbones, and his e-eyes, so pretty.”


I love every single one of these. They’re all very sweet and angst free. I love love love ace!sterek fics and these are some of my favorites. They all in some way or another influenced my own writing of ace!sterek fics. Go read them all and bask in the tenderness. (◠‿◠✿)

5

here’s a couple gay lil doodles of adam/koko and james/wilhelm that i stockpiled for a couple days bc theyre too small to post individually!!!

2

Riot ensues.

So after the seven years war some British troops who were in charge of surveying and inventorying abandoned french forts, found stockpiles of American made supplies. You can expect a very broke England who just fought a very long war wouldn’t take to kind to know that American’s were selling to both sides.

 Also before the stamp act the other taxes that England imposed on America really weren't all that bad like the sugar tax actually went from 0.06 cents to 0.03 cents. The only difference was England actually started enforcing the tax hardcore instead of allowing the American courts who were pretty leadeant about the whole thing. 

The stamp act became an issue because newspapers printers and lawyers use a lot of paper and there the last people you want to piss off lol.

This line if anyone doesn’t know comes from Tony and Fury’s conversation during Age of Ultron. The conversation where Tony says that the vision Wanda gave him, is the future. He blames himself. 

This is not just the end of the path the group started them on, Tony claims all responsibility. I started us on. This idea that Tony tries to push off the blame for his actions, is honestly baffling. Tony consistently accepts blame for other people’s actions. 

Let’s go through some of the movies and see where Tony takes responsibility. 

In Ironman 1 we see Tony Stark, talking with Yinsen in Afghanistan. He’s scaredd, confused, and in pain. Despite all of that, one of the first things he notices about his kidnappers, they have his weapon. Which he finds absolutely jarring because he only sells his weapons to the US military. 

He is absolutely shocked that these terrorists have his weapons, because Obidiah was the one selling to them behind his back. However, he takes responsibility for his weapons getting in the wrong hands, and sets out to personally destroy every stockpile of weapons.

He took full responsibility for something that was not his fault. 

What about Age of Ultron.

The entire movie in Captain America civil war, is Tony attempting to make up for what happened. Notice he again says my fault. He has taken every bit of blame, he doesn’t blame Wanda for what she did to him, or for what she did to help Ultron with his plan. He doesn’t blame Bruce for helping him study the scepter. He doesn’t blame Ultron because ultimately Ultron’s actions were his own, he was a sentient being. Tony takes all of the blame on his shoulders, and supports the accords as a way of preventing further tragedies like Ultron. 

Tony consistently accepts blames for things he was only marginally connected to. Other people expect him to, and he gets blamed for the actions of others regularly.

Example:

This man blamed Tony Stark for the crimes Howard Stark committed against his father. Tony is expected to pay in blood for crimes that are not his own.  

Or what about 

Who after years of planning, and evil deeds blames Tony for all of it. A drunk celebrity said he would talk with him and then didn’t. I understand maybe Aldrich was devastated, and dealing with depression. However, his crimes are still his own, he still chose to commit them. He has had years to get a good therapist, he chose to develop a serum that kills people, and causes them to explode. 

This is not Tony’s fault, this is Killain’s. He made the decision to be a villain. 

Now let’s look at some of the other Avengers accepting responsibility for their actions. 

Well, that doesn’t sound like accepting responsibility for unleashing the Hulk onto a city of innocent people, and completely disrupting Dr. Banner’s peace of mind. She has to have accepted blame at some point, Captain America wouldn’t let her get away with this type of thing, would he?

“She’s just a kid.” Oh, of course well at least he accepts responsibility for his own mistakes.

“Did you know?” 

“I didn’t know it was him.”

“Don’t bullshit me Rogers, did you know?” 

“Yes.”

Well he admits that he hid the truth for years after having his own lie waved in his face, not exactly taking responsibility.

What about Clint, he’s well known for considering the consequences of his actions. Mr. Clint “They’re considered.” Barton.

Oh no wait here’s another example of someone breaking the law and then blaming Tony for their own crimes. Wow the Aldrich Killian parallel I never wanted to make with one of my favorite comic book characters.

Now, all of the original team Cap is guilty of refusing responsibility for their crimes. What about Natasha? While we haven’t seen much of her origin Story she is supposed to be known for clearing the red off her ledger, and while we never see her take blame for much in canon, I blame Marvel’s shitiness with female characters and screen time. 

Or Bruce? Bruce is the only original Avenger we see taking blame for things other than Tony. He’ll take blame for any event the Hulk was involved in, that’s why he leaves at the end of AoU, because of Johannesburg. He still blames himself for breaking Harlem, despite the fight being necessary to protect people. 


Tl:dr this idea that Tony never accepts responsibility is really baffling to me, because team Cap never seemed to accept responsibility for anything they did wrong. Whereas Tony is constantly accepting blame, and working to improve himself and the situation. 

“Clinton sold uranium to Russian”

(A quote from a wackadoo this morning … ):

This has been running around for a while, and is part of the efforts to debunk or trivialize the Trump-Russia connection.

The allegation is that somehow Hillary Clinton, all by herself, sold or gave 20% of the US’ uranium reserves to the Russians for a donation to the Clinton Foundation.

Let’s spend a brief moment deconstructing the levels of crazy here.

1. As Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton couldn’t sell or give away assets of the United States. She didn’t have the authority. (That belongs to Congress.) No one in charge of the U.S. uranium stockpile would go, “oh, this has Hillary’s signature, load ‘er up boys!” It’s just not how it works.

2. 20% of US uranium is a lot. It’s not something one casually moves about in a shipping trailer. The notion that any such operation could take place without vast planning and organization involving dozens of agencies ranging from national security to police departments, is just ridiculous. Had any such thing happened, it would not have been in secret. It couldn’t have been.

3. Umm, why would the Russians need to buy or acquire our uranium? They have vast amounts of it. In fact, there’s a worldwide glut of the stuff: it’s available cheaply. So even if they were running short they could get it without risking a confrontation with the United States.

But Trump alleged it about a Clinton, and since all the wackadoos know the Clintons are Satan with a smile, the wackadoos parrot the nonsense. In any case, neither facts nor logic are going to dissuade their fantasy lives from being fully lived.

Trump-Russia isn’t normal. It isn’t comparable to ordinary politics and usual. No matter what the wackadoos say.