stlouis

A lot of people have come up to me and told me that this song has kind of helped them with either beating addiction or losing somebody, that you were really attached to or in love with. Whether it’s a friend or someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. 

Um, you know I’ve written a lot of songs about heartbreak in the past and I think a lot about heartbreak as a concept. I think when you’re heartbroken, time moves at a slower pace than it does for other people.

I think the worst part about having your heart broken is that if you think about what it takes to either make a new friend or fall in love; it takes trusting someone and letting your guard down and letting somebody in, to see things you might be insecure about, being vulnerable and all of that. 

And the worst part about having your heart broken or feeling betrayed or losing someone, having them change their mind and walk away from you, is it makes you regret those things that you did in the beginning, when you fell in love.

Letting somebody in, trusting somebody, being vulnerable. And those things, you sit there and you go, ‘Gosh, you shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve played mind games, I should’ve like.. I shouldn’t have been so trusting. I’m so stupid, why did I do that?' 

And that’s the biggest shame of all of it, that trusting someone and letting someone in and being vulnerable, those are beautiful things to do. Those are brave things to do. It’s never stupid to do that.

And so you go through your life and you’re heartbroken, feeling like, feeling like it’s written all over your face, that you just got hurt or that you’re going through pain, or that this heartbreak happened to you, right? You just feel like it’s written all over you, like maybe everyone else can see it. 

Then gradually time passes and you start to live your life again, and you start to replace old habits with new ones. And, maybe rather than spending all of your time with that person,  you start spending all of your time with your friends.  

Or maybe you start making decisions based on only what you want to do, not what any one else has to say about it. 

And then one day, whether it’s a year later or three months later, but one day there’s this moment that happens where you wake up, you look in the mirror and you don’t see 'heartbreak’ written all over your face anymore. 

And in that moment, you’re clean.

—  Taylor Swift, Clean Speech 9/28/15 STL Night 1 (x) 
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Oh my god, this was perfect. They loved it. David is amazing. So charming and friendly.

Editing to add story: I was a nervous wreck before this photo. We wanted to get through as quickly as possible because we had been slightly yelled at for taking too long with the last photo. I was carrying a step stool to stand on for the photo and my friend carried the portrait in. There were a few people in line ahead of us when we entered the photo room, but I saw Billie catch sight of the piece and her eyes got big. Finally it was our turn. I quickly set down the step stool and got in position. I blurted out to David that I had done another crochet piece. Billie was talking to a staff member and David called her over. This is my favorite part: he said “Bill, come look at this!” It was freaking adorable the way he called her “Bill”. She came over and they both admired it. I added that it took me 2 months to do. David said it would have taken him two years. The photographer was also impressed “Two months? That’s it?” We took the picture, I thanked them, and left.